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Modern Family S09E15

Part 2 Nov. 26, 2019, 11:02 a.m.

What are you talking about?
是你让我给你带钢琴曲的
You asked me to bring over the piano music.
《派对时光最爱金曲》
"Party-time Favorites."
天啊真是无巧不成书啊
Oh, my gosh, how apropos.
我去放在家里的新钢琴上
I'll just set these on our new piano... ?
这我刚好会的乐器上
...that I know how to play.
派对很棒各位
Great party, boys.
这钢琴这么显眼不聊不行吧
We need to talk about the piano in the room.
好吧是这样
Uh, well, yes, so, okay, okay.
小卡一直想要一台钢琴
So, Cam has always wanted one,
说实话我们一直负担不起
and frankly, it has been out of our price range
直到这周
until this week.
有趣的故事原来我...
Fun story. It turns out that I --
我真没礼貌
I'm being rude.
我是山姆·特恩布尔
Sam Turnbull.
我是克莱尔·邓菲
Oh! Claire Dunphy.
你是《洛杉矶女性》杂♥志♥的编辑对吧
Hi. You are the editor of L.A. Woman magazine, right?
发音应该是"拉乌芒"[法语]
I believe it's pronounced "La Woman."
才不是
It isn't.
真有趣因为你办公室上周给我公♥司♥打了电♥话♥
It's funny because your office called my business last week.
貌似我出现在《商业女性》特辑的
Apparently, I'm on some short list
最终候选人名单上
for the Women in Business issue.
-是橱柜业吧 -是的
- Closets, right? - Yeah.
我打破女人无法在高位的"玻璃天花板"
I shattered the glass ceiling --
很讽刺的是我们出了一款新的玻璃天花板橱柜
and ironically, we have a new glass-ceiling closet.
你穿衣服时能看外面是否下雨
You can see if it's raining when you're getting dressed.
会拯救许多小山羊皮
Gonna save a lot of suede.
今年竞争很激烈啊
Well, it's, um, pretty competitive this year.
我要去找钢琴另一边的人聊聊天
Anyway, I'm meeting someone on the other side of the piano.
我该走了
I should leave now.
我都对他的傻♥逼♥杂♥志♥没兴趣
I don't even care about his stupid magazine,
但被他这么甩脸就走...
but to be dismissed like that?
各位感谢你们光临寒舍
Hey, everyone, everyone. Thank you so much for coming.
大家现在都好难有机会见面
We never get to see each other anymore,
大家的生活都很忙
what with our busy lives.
乔撒姆忙于环境音乐作曲
And Jotham's ambient music compositions,
迪帕克致力于游击园艺
and, uh, Deepak's guerrilla gardening,
还有我和我的新工作
and, well, me and my big new job
老板是迈克尔·奎恩利
working for Michael Quinly.
是啊
Yeah.
在各大博物馆都能看到他名字的有钱人吗
The rich guy whose name is on all those museums?
还有医院敬我们所有人
And hospitals, yeah. So, to all of us!
恭喜啊
Ah, congratulations.
真棒我们都
It's really great. We're all --
我们都为你高兴
We're all so happy for you.
谢谢谢谢
Thank you. Thank you.
你看见了大家的表情对吧
You saw the look, right?
完全是爱和支持夹杂了一丝讨厌的嫉妒
Pure love and support with just a hint of rancid envy.
来聊聊
A word.
但我正在爽呢小卡
But I'm basking. Um, Cam.
你说话时我上了网
So, while you were talking, I got online,
你的新老板被发现挪用公♥款♥了
and...your new boss was caught embezzling.
你的公♥司♥要倒闭了
Your company is crumbling.
不不这事不能又发生在我身上
No! No! This -- This can't be happening to me again.
相信我你会找到别的工作
You know what? You'll find something else.
天啊小卡我十秒前
Oh, my -- Cam, I literally
刚吹嘘了一份并不存在的工作
just bragged about a job that doesn't exist.
好吧他们不能发现这事
Okay, okay. They cannot know,
否则这会变成同情派对
or else this will turn into an actual pity party.
好交给我吧
Okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I-I got this.
各位
Hi, everyone.
我们要更深层更私密地
So, we are about to get to know one another on a deeper,
了解彼此
more personal level.
我想你们都知道这个碗是装什么的
I think you all know what the bowl is for.
不不是钥匙乔撒姆
Hey, no. Not your keys, Jotham.
换♥妻♥俱♥乐♥部♥玩法男人把车钥匙放进碗中
女性抽一把钥匙然后当晚跟着车主走
是手♥机♥
Your phones!
我们要重拾失落已久的谈话艺术
We are about to rediscover the long-lost art of conversation.
如果保姆打来电♥话♥呢
What if the sitter calls?
你的狗狗会没事的先生们请交出手♥机♥
Your dog will be fine. Phones, gentlemen, phones.
你周六都上班吗
You're working on a Saturday?
我在面对一点小问题
I've been dealing with a little problem.
这种时候我只会去一个地方寻求帮助
In moments like this, there's only one place I turn.
我受宠若惊爸爸
Well, I am flattered, Dad.
好吧
Right.
既然你在这里
Hey, but, you know, since you're here...
这话题很难开口
Uh, it's a difficult subject.
歌♥洛莉亚和我的
Gloria and I...
床事有点问题
...having an issue in the bedroom.
好吧
Okay.
速度和强度都不如从前
There's been a drop-off of pace and intensity.
我了解到她想要
I get the impression she's looking for,
换换口味
maybe, a little more variety.
但也不能怪她
But you can't blame her.
我的那几招从70年代♥开♥始就一直在用
I've been using the same moves since the '70s.
我♥干♥脆加点70年代舞步进去得了
I may as well be doing "The Hustle" in there.
我要润润嗓子
I'm just gonna wet my whistle.
我听见她昨晚跟她的朋友说
I heard her tell her friend last night
想被打屁♥股♥
about wanting to be spanked.
不久后机会出现在眼前
And later, the opportunity presented itself, and...
不你没有你没有
No, you didn't. You didn't.
-三次 -天啊为什么是三次爸爸
- Three times. - Oh, God. Why three times, Dad?
我不知道也许因为多年来
I don't know. Maybe all those years of ping-pong
我在仓库打了不少乒乓球手腕很灵活
in the warehouse. I've got very agile wrists.
但我不知道该怎么挽回这场面了
But I don't know how I come back from this one.
爸爸
Well, uh, Dad, when you, um --
当你对歌♥洛莉亚做那件事时
When you did what you did to Gloria,
你让性♥爱♥的重点全聚焦在她身体上了
you made the sex all about her body,
而女人希望能照顾到她们心灵
and a woman wants it to be about the mind.
糟糕我就害怕是这种狗屁
Oh, crap. I was afraid it would be about that sort of thing.
听着她是个聪明有趣的女人
Look, she is an intelligent, interesting woman.
你得提醒她你注意到了这些
And you just need to remind her that you notice that --
不像是《洛杉矶女性》杂♥志♥
unlike, say, I don't know, L.A. Woman magazine,
只关注女人的外表
that only cares about how a woman looks.
所以不聊我的事了
So, we're off my thing, huh?
没错希望永远别再提
Hopefully forever, yes.
我今天在小卡和米奇那
I ran into the editor of that magazine
碰到了那个杂♥志♥的编辑你知道吗
over at Cam and Mitch's today, and you know what?
他上下打量我
He looks me up and down.
突然我就不在他们的商界女士名单上了
Suddenly, I am off their women-in-business list.
现在《洛杉矶女性》有自己的杂♥志♥啦
So, L.A. Woman is its own magazine now?
我记得它以前是在《洛杉矶男性》的末尾
I remember when it was the back page of L.A. Man.
我想我是没琳达·沃恩那么美
Well, I suppose I'm just not as glamorous as Linda Vaughn,
矫正鞋女王
the queen of corrective shoes.
这和你穿的
And this has nothing to do with the fact that you showed up
像刚给马喂过水一样有关吧
looking like someone who just watered some horses?
那又怎样实力呢
Who cares? What about merit?
我知道但你得遵守游戏规则
I hear you. But you got to play the game.
我上《橱柜日报》
I didn't get on the cover
78年9月的封面
of Closet Time's September '78 issue
可不是因为穿了不合身的牛仔裤
by wearing Jordache jeans one size too big.
我才不这样
I'm not doing it.
他们搞他们的选美比赛吧
They can keep their beauty contest.
我不在乎
I don't care.
在你说不之前先看看这个
Before you say "No", take a look at this.
这不能证明你要证明的爸
It's not making the case you think it's making, Dad.
天啊
Oh, God.
所有的手♥机♥都在这了
Okay, that's all the phones.
在聚会结束前
Look, nobody's gonna find out about you losing your job
不会有人发现你失业了
until after the party.
好我去开门