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Modern Family S09E13

Part 3 Nov. 26, 2019, 11:02 a.m.

and we're supposed to save it.
什么场合呢小卡
For what, Cam?
-我不知道 -你不知道
- I don't know! ?- You don't know.
-我不知道 -你不知道
- I don't. - ?You don't know.
看
Ohh...look at it.
好像闻到了永恒的爱
Smells like eternal love.
好吧
Aww...oh. ?O-kay.
为什么你老在我办公室
Why are you always in my office?
我在这儿效率最高
I do my best work in here. ?
我在试着进入他的思路
I've been trying to get into his head.
我甚至还买♥♥了他最喜欢的午饭
I even brought his favorite lunch --
鸡尾酒虾波本酒
shrimp cocktail and bourbon.
那不过是你每天午餐吃的东西啊
Or that's just what you have for lunch every day.
这也是厄尔从我那里偷学走的
That's another thing Earl stole from me! ?
-你发现什么了 -首先
- What did you find out? - First of all,
雪儿不知道有关骨灰的任何事
Shirl doesn't know anything about the ashes.
其次我们不会像你俩一样不和
And second, we're not gonna be a part of your little feud anymore.
-我们会成为朋友 -她耍你呢
- We're gonna be friends. - She's playing you!
-不会 -我问你
- No... -?Let me ask you a question.
你告诉她我们投标贝尔蒙特花♥园♥了吗
Did you tell her we're bidding on Belmont Gardens?
没怎么了
No. Why?
因为15分钟前我接到个电♥话♥
Because 15 minutes ago, I got a phone call
说突然之间
saying just out of the blue,
"衣柜衣柜衣柜衣柜"公♥司♥和我们竞标
Closets Closets Closets Closets is bidding against us.
她看了你的提案了吗
Did she see your proposal?
看了爸我肯定
Yes, Dad! I'm quite sure she
她在我去卫生间的时候翻了我的包
rifled through my bag when I was in the bathroom.
你去卫生间了吗
You went to the bathroom?
-你咋不直接把公♥司♥送她呢 -天啊
- Why don't you just give her the company?! - Oh, God.
-你瞧番茄酱 -这说明什么
- Bingo! Ketchup! - What does that prove?
她午餐是不是吃了番茄酱
Did she have ketchup for lunch?
她的确吃了薯条
She had... french fries.
证据确凿
There's your smoking gun.
玛格丽特我需要
Margaret? I'm gonna need
薯条和番茄酱来进入雪儿的思路
fries and ketchup to get in Shirl's head.
不不雪儿不会这么做的
No! No, Shirl wouldn't have done this.
坏消息
Um, bad news.
我们好不容易找到的那些菠萝把手
Uh, we finally tracked down those pineapple knobs,
但刚被买♥♥下是衣柜
but they were all just bought up by Closets...
-不 -衣柜
- No. - Closets...
不玛格丽特
No, Margaret!
衣柜衣柜公♥司♥
...Closets Closets.
雪儿玩了我
Shirl screwed me.
你知道你要怎么做吗
You know what you have to do?
你得戳她的痛处
You've got to hit her where it hurts.
她最珍视什么
What does she value most?
拉兹罗
Lazlo.
我觉得你没明白
I don't think you understand
这对我来说有多丢人
how humiliating that was for me.
这尴尬可能会跟随我一生
There are parts of me that will never uncringe.
天啊
Oh, my God!
我打断了无聊的故事而已
So I interrupted some boring story.
阿尔文·费诺曼博士
Dr. Arvin Fennerman
是一个大奖的两次获得者
is a two-time Vanderkoff Grant winner --
一次是哲学一次是几何学
one for philosophy and one for geometry.
你不能就这么...
You can't put him into a box
-因为 -你能不能看下我的文章
- because... - Could you please just read my sample?
这个工作对我来说很重要
This job is important to me.
这是我有一份真正工作的唯一机会
This is my one shot at a real career.
好我读但"真正工作"吗
Fine, I'll read it. And "real career"?
我看过这个诺普公♥司♥了
I've seen this NERP business.
妮可·罗丝玛丽·佩奇看起来就有病
Nicole Rosemary Page seems bonkers.
她不是因为食人事件出事了吗
Didn't she get in trouble for cannibalism?
没有事实证明没有法律禁止
No. Turns out there are no laws against
吃自己的阑尾
eating your own appendix,
而且吃了真的有养颜美容作用
and it does help with fine lines.
但她是个成功的典范
But she's a success story.
童星邦德女郎
Child star, bond girl,
在钱全被方氏骗局卷走前还是独♥立♥片甜心
indie darling before she lost all her money to a Fonzie scheme.
-你说的是庞氏骗局吧 -很遗憾还真不是呢
- Don't you mean Ponzi scheme? - ?Sadly, no.
然后出于绝望她成立了诺普
So, out of desperation, she invented NERP,
接下来突然之间就成为商业帝国
and next thing you know -- boom! Empire.
我只想成为伟大事业的一部分
I just want to be a part of something great.
说实话
Well, if I'm being honest,
你写得还不错
your writing sample's actually pretty good.
真的吗谢谢
Really?! Thank you.
天啊费诺曼博士
Oh, my God. It's Dr. Fennerman.
别思考别呼吸头低下
Don't think, don't breathe, keep your head down. ?O-kay.
你们好
Hello.
不好意思你好博士
Sorry! Hello, Doctor.
要下坐吗
Would you like down sit?
-什么鬼 -太好了你人艾丽克斯
- What? - Kind, that's very you of, Alex.
再和我说下你为什么在我的班上
Um...tell me again, why were you in my class?
我有个很重要的面试
I have a very big interview
是和妮可·罗丝玛丽·佩奇她刚刚...
with Nicole Rosemary Page, and she was just --
你知道她是个江湖骗子吧
Ugh! You know she's a snake oil salesman, right?
我知道
Yes, I know.
人们抱怨一直腹泻
People complain about the diarrhea all the time,
但减肥就是靠这个啊
but that is the point.
她的科学就是一派胡言
Her science is utter nonsense.
什么能给你能量的宇宙贴纸
I mean, space stickers that give you energy,
能吸收无线网信♥号♥♥的水晶
and crystals that absorb Wi-Fi,
1200块一双的袜子有没有搞错
and seriously -- $1,200 socks?
做袜子的羊毛出自只吃寿司的羊
Those sheep eat nothing but sushi.
-我们说完没有 -神奇的是没有
- Are we done here? - Surprisingly, not.
这或许听起来很疯狂但
This might sound crazy, but...
我要和你结婚
I'm going to marry you.
什么
What?!
抱歉你第一次和活生生的女生说话吗
I'm sorry, first time talking to a real girl?
不听我说我也搞不懂
No, l-l-listen. I-I-I don't get it.
其实我也吓到了
Frankly, it boggles the mind,
但自从刚才遇见你
but I've been running
我在脑袋里运算了数十种可能的情形
dozens of probability scenarios in my head since we met,
最终结果都是我们
and-and they all end with us...
在一起了
...together.
我这辈子也听过不少很瞎的搭讪词但...
I have heard some lame pickup lines in my day, but --
那种词我也有不少存货
I have plenty of those.
你是神经电流吗
Are you a neuro-electrical current
因为你整天都在我脑袋里跑来跑去
because you've been running through my mind all day?
但这次不一样
But th-th-that's not what this is.
咱俩肯定会在一起海莉·邓菲
This is going to happen, Haley Dunphy.
-你怎么知道我的名字 -我什么都知道
- Ew, how do you know my name? - I know everything.
而且你的通行证上面有名字
Also, your pass has your name written on it.
我觉得我要晕过去了
I think I'm gonna pass out.
我把我的联♥系♥方式空投到你电♥话♥上了
Right, I've just air-dropped my contact info to your phone.
要不你就按一下接受
You just tap to accept it.
我是不会"要"的
Uh, yeah, not gonna...tap that.
我认为你会的
I think you will.
海莉宇宙中有许多力
Haley, there are forces in the universe
是我们无法理解的
that we don't understand...
可测却无法解释的力
measurable forces that...can't be explained,
但没人能否认它的存在
but cannot be denied...
咱俩之间就是这样
and that's-that's what this is.
我也无法理解但我知道它是真实存在的
I don't get it, but...I know that it's real.
这也太智障了吧
That was so dumb!
什么哪里智障你才智障
What? No, it wasn't. You're-you're dumb.
会烙印进你脑海的我已在你脑海之中
That's gonna stick. I'm-I'm in your head.
-好吧 -等着瞧
- Okay. ?- You'll see.
行行行兄弟走人时尽量走得帅一点
Sure, buddy. Now try and walk away cool.
-我会的 -那好
- Oh, I will. - ?Okay.
我们本来在这里亲热