摩登家庭
Modern Family S09E07
Part 4
Nov. 26, 2019, 11:01 a.m.
Okay.
-再10分钟 -我做不来
- 10 minutes. - I can't take it!
你就深呼吸 老爸
Just breathe, Dad.
我们要克服你的恐惧
We are breaking this fear of yours.
我要死了
I'm dying here!
看着我
Look at me.
你想要你的余生
Do you want to spend the rest of your life
都只是一名开放空间魔术师吗
as an open-space magician?
这就对了
Yeah.
杰 我在内缝线上看到乔的学校举办了
Jay, I saw on Inseam that there was a Thanksgiving pageant
感恩节大会
at Joe's school.
你为什么没告诉我
Why didn't you tell me?
我忘了嘛
I totally forgot.
乔一周没上学了
Joe hasn't been in school for a week.
我跟他的老师起了点争执
I had a falling-out with his teacher.
然后被叫去校长办公室
And got sent to the principal's office.
你对巴里什老师说了挺难听的话
You said some pretty harsh things to Mrs. Barrish.
那是因为她在计划的餐会
In my defense, um, this banquet she's planning
不符合史实
is not historically accurate.
比如说 我不记得在首次感恩节餐会上
For example, I don't remember a tandoori chicken option
有印度咖喱鸡啊
at the first Thanksgiving.
我们学校有不同文化种族的孩子
We have children here from many ethnicities,
我们想让大家都有参与感
and we try to make them all feel included.
尽管如此 史书上也没写过餐会时 印第安人
Be that as it may, history does not record Pocahontas
请英国探险家帮忙递生鱼片寿司卷
asking John Smith to pass the sashimi roll
而英国知名军官也在一旁
while Myles Standish helps himself
给自己来点无麸质墨西哥煎蛋
to gluten-free huevos rancheros!
之后火气越来越大 我们被逐出学校
After that, it got heated, and we got expelled.
"我们"吗
"We"?
他们会打来的
But they'll call.
始终需要我的银子
They need my check.
为什么学校什么都没告诉我
Why didn't the school tell me anything?
好像我不在电邮通知名单上了
It's like I am off their e-mail list.
我都没看到过他的变装服
I didn't even see the costumes.
他不用变装啊
Well, he didn't have a costume.
他是解说员 他负责说出整个故事
No, he was the narrator. Kid told the whole story.
小乖乖
Ay, papi.
你当时一定超可爱
You must have been so cute.
晚餐的时候给大家表演一次吧
Why don't you perform it for everybody at dinner?
我去拿我的手♥机♥ 我们得录下来
I'll go get my phone, and we'll film it.
-好吗 -没问题
- Okay? - Yes.
小家伙 我得最快时间帮你补课
I gotta get you up to speed in a hurry, buddy.
感恩节的故事 开始
The story of Thanksgiving. Here goes.
没用
It's no use!
我做不到
I can't do it!
我了个去 她成功了
Sonuvabitch, she did it!
你们看到了吗
See that, people?
又一个超越自己巅峰的人 都感谢我
Another person doing their best, thanks to me.
现在可以开吃了
It's time to eat.
谷歌♥
Hey, Google,
火鸡还要多久
how much time left on the turkey?
两分钟
Two minutes.
看到没 我能控制那个神经病甜甜圈
See? I can control that crazy doughnut,
也成功达到十万步
I can do the steps.
我做到了两件事
I have two achievements,
而其他人只做到了一件
and the rest have only one.
所以外公真的靠
So, Grandpa really motivated you
说你做不到什么而激励了你是吧
by telling you you couldn't do something, huh?
我要看看这个计步器 我写报告要用
I need to see that My StepCounter for a paper I'm writing.
大家都成功做到了一些事
Everybody achieved something today,
现在轮到乔了
so now it's Joe's turn.
乔
Joe...
跟我们说说第一个感恩节的故事
tell us about the first Thanksgiving.
来吧 小家伙
Come up here, buddy.
你能行
You got this.
曾有一片大地住着不信神的原住民
There was once a land of godless natives.
他们愚蠢无知
They did not know any better
直到某天 白人们来了
until, one day, the white man arrived.
这是什么鬼
What is this?
白人们可怜这些原始人
The white man took pity on these primitives
教导他们如何耕种土地
by teaching them to cultivate the land.
但他们的善良被误会为侵略
But their kindness was mistaken for aggression,
所以战争开打了
and a war began.
这是哪门子的鬼学校
What kind of school is this?
-我小时候学到的也是这样 -什么
- This is what I was taught. - What?
最后 一切回归和平
Eventually, peace was restored,
我们还送给了他们我国最高荣誉
and we bestowed them with our nation's highest honor --
让他们冠名橄榄球队
naming football teams for them.
乔 这是什么短剧
Joe, what play is this?
我没有演出短剧 我都没上学了
I wasn't in a play! I don't go to school anymore!
好啦 对啦
All right, fine.
我们被踢出来了可以吗
We got kicked out, okay?
跟校长小小吵了一架
Little argument with the principal.
你怎么可以骗我
You've been lying to me
亏我还一直夸你是个超棒的父亲
while I was celebrating you as an amazing father?
歌♥洛莉亚 奇怪了
Hey, Gloria, this is weird.
我下载了你的计步器数据
You know, I downloaded your My StepCounter data
到我电脑里
onto my computer,
数据显示你今早走的路线
and it's showing your path this morning
跟我妈妈去赛跑的路线是一样的
was the same route my mom took in her race.
我怎么可能跑得到十万步
I was never going to get 100,000 steps.
一直到后来我知道克莱尔要去火鸡赛跑
But then I learned that Claire was going on a Turkey Trot.
第二次我抱她时
The second time I hugged her,
比第一次不容易 因为她浑身是汗
it was a little harder because she was really wet.
所以我基本上就是你的计步代跑骡吗
So I'm basically just your StepCounter mule?
我还以为你在乎我这场跑步呢
I thought you cared about my race.
我很爱你 克莱尔
I love you very much, Claire,
但我对你的运动真的没兴趣
but your exercise doesn't really interest me.
等等 克莱尔什么时候经过公♥司♥的来着
Hang on. When did Claire run past Pritchett's Closets?
因为上面显示她压根就没靠近过那里
'Cause this thing says she never got near it.
爸 估计是计步器出错了
Well, it's probably the StepCounter made a mistake.
是吗 还是...
Oh, yeah, did it? Or -- Or --
还是你绕捷径了
Or did you take a little shortcut?
才没有 应该是我跑太快
No, I was probably going so fast
它都跟不上我的脚步
it couldn't even keep up with me.
-我有照片为证 -让我看...
- I have a picture of it. - Let me see.
卢克
Luke?
你们看
And there you go.
很清楚能看到我跑过普里契特衣柜公♥司♥
That is me clearly running in front of Pritchett's Closets.
对啊 窗上还有
Oh, yeah, yeah. With a Reagan/Bush poster
84年总统大选的海报呢
in the window, huh?
照片是假的
The photo is a fake.
不能怪我 是曼尼改的图
It's not my fault. Manny made it.
曼尼改了所有的图吗
Manny was photoshopping everything?
所以乔真的发生危险了吗
So Joe was in real danger?
我没想到你这么轻易
I did not realize how easy it would be
就能把线索都连上
for you to connect those dots.
对你挺失望的 卢克
Pretty disappointed in you, Luke.
他从哪学坏的 我想大家都懂
Well, you know, it's easy to see where he learned it from.
他老妈就是个骗子
His mother's a cheater!
什么 你少跟我搞这套义愤填膺的了
What?! Oh, don't get so hot and bothered. Uh-huh! Mm.
-你的妆都要花了 你这... -别碰我
- Your makeup's already running, and what do... - Stop it.
你的淤青上有个中文字吗
Do you have a Chinese character on your bruise?
估计是闯入的人打我时 他戒指的字印的
Yeah, it's probably an imprint from the intruder's ring.
他... 我确定他肯定是混什么帮派之类的
He was -- I'm sure he was in a gang of some sort.
老实交代吧 米奇尔
Just give it up, Mitchell.
他玩我以代理副校长职权
He knocked himself out with some nunchucks
没收的双节棍时不小心打到了自己
that I confiscated as acting vice principal.
天啊 功妇又回来了
Oh, my God! Kung Sue is back.
老爸 你听到了吗
Daddy, did you hear that?
小卡 小卡不是靠实力赢的球赛
摩登家庭
Modern Family
剧集 | 摩登家庭 | 导航列表