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Modern Family S09E18

Part 4 Nov. 26, 2019, 11:03 a.m.

No. It's not gross, okay?
你身体的任何部分对我们来说都不会恶心
Nothing about your body is gross to us.
是的你的生理周期不会你的...
Yes. Not your cycles, not your fluids --
天啊别再说了
Oh my God, just stop talking forever,
快走吧
Just go!
真是太糟糕了
Oh, well, that was a disaster.
或许是时候承认
You know, maybe it's just time we start to admit
异性恋伴侣
that straight couples have strengths
拥有我们没有的强项
that we don't, you know?
或许妈妈们比咱们更了解女儿
And maybe moms know more about girls than we do.
是时候转交女孩事宜了吗
Is it time to start farming some of this girl stuff out?
是啊但交给谁呢
Yeah, but to who?
克莱尔和别人说的太多
Claire's an over-sharer.
歌♥洛莉亚她的身体是人类的吗
Gloria -- is her body even human?
海莉比莉莉知道的还少
Haley knows less than Lily.
-那我们找谁艾丽克斯吗 -我也认为
- So who do we go to? Alex? - ?I guess.
或许会很无聊但至少正确
I mean, it'll be dull, but it'll be right.
咱们再给米洛打个恶作剧电♥话♥吧
Let's prank call Milo again.
你喜欢他
You totally like him.
我才没有我只是想折磨他
I do not! I just want to torture him.
好吧我们听到这些
Okay -- so, see, are we supposed to hear something like that
-应该什么都不说吗 -是的
- and say nothing? - Yes, we are.
-快走 -各位
- Come on. - Okay, hi.
如果你们想要吸引男生的注意力
If you want to get a boy's attention,
恶作剧电♥话♥可能不是个好主意
you know, a prank call is probably not the move.
爸
Dad!
小卡我们不应该插手
Cam, this is not our place.
但他没说错
But, he's not wrong.
我只是想让他抓狂
I just like to make him mad!
好吧我们只是以为你喜欢他
Yeah, well, we just thought you liked him
你想知道吸引他的好方法
and you wanted to know the best way to get his attention,
但看来不是这样
but apparently not.
那晚安啦
So good night.
等下
Wait!
-好吧谁是米洛最好的朋友 -巴雷特
- Okay. Okay, so, who's Milo's best friend? - Barrett.
好那你给米洛发短♥信♥ "你太好玩了
Okay, you're gonna text Milo, "You're hilarious!
笑哭表情加眨眼表情"
Crying-laughing face, and winky face emoji."
然后过一会儿
Then wait a beat.
你再发一条
Then you're gonna text back,
"哎呀抱歉刚才是要发给巴雷特的
"Oops, sorry. That was for Barrett.
嘴巴一条线的没表情脸"
Neutral-face emoji with straight-line mouth."
天啊太高招了
Oh my God. Genius.
我从没见过她笑
Wow, I've never seen her smile.
亲们
Dudes!
米洛回我短♥信♥了
Milo just texted me back.
好他说了什么
Okay, what'd he say?
"你真讨厌
"You're a jerk.
吐舌头的眨眼表情"
Winky eye face with the tongue hanging out."
你有戏了
Oh, you're in. You're in.
别回复他知道吗
Do not text him back, okay?
但当你周一早上见他时
But when you see him on Monday,
走过他然后给他来句
walk right past him and throw him a quick...
"嗨"
"Hey."
嗨没错
Hey. ?Yes!
好了你们继续吧
All right, you girls got it from here.
我们订了餐厅吃晚餐
We have a dinner reservation.
我看到你们装到包里的东西了
Hey, I saw what you put in the bag.
谢谢
Thanks.
不客气亲爱的我们爱你
You're welcome, sweetie. And we love you.
我喜欢男孩的时候你们还会这么酷吗
Are you gonna be this cool when I like a boy?
不不不不可能
Oh, no. No. No. Not a chance.
-太好了你回来了 -等一下
- Good, you're home. - One second.
宝贝你穿这件新衬衫真是太漂亮了
Papi, you look great in that new shirt!
-太帅了 -歌♥洛莉亚
- So handsome! - Gloria!
我以为你是曼尼
I thought you were Manny.
很好你现在看出来了
Good. You're caught up now.
我知道我有点胖了
I know I put on a few,
但作为歌♥剧演员太瘦的话
but they don't take you seriously as an opera singer
别人就不会把你当一回事儿
when you're too skinny.
你们知道瘦弱的女士演唱时会怎么样吗
Do you know what happens when the thin lady sings?
大家会以为之后还有
The show just keeps going.
见到你真是太好了
It's so wonderful to see you.
我要开瓶酒
I -- I'm gonna go and open a bottle of wine.
你觉得豪尔赫可能...
Do you think that Jorge could be...?
豪尔赫提到过
Jorge mentioned you bounced around
你在他和哈维尔之间徘徊不定
between him and Javier.
你徘徊到什么样的地步
How much bouncing did you do?
严格来说是可能的
Technically, it's possible.
我的老天
Oh, my God.
-曼尼对此会作何反应 -肯定不会好
- How is Manny going to handle this? - Not great.
你知道他不善于面对意外
You know he doesn't respond well to surprises.
记得他发现那些土豆泥
Remember how upset he got
实际上是花椰菜泥时
when he found out those mashed potatoes
他有多沮丧吗
were really just whipped cauliflower?
我们要怎么办
What are we going to do?
外公我
Okay, Grandpa, I got --
歌♥洛莉亚你在这
Oh, Gloria, you're here.
除了那惭愧的表情之外你还带了什么
What do you bring with you, besides that guilty look?
为了得到确切的结果
Okay, in order to get a definitive answer,
我请艾丽克斯做了亲子鉴定
I had Alex perform a DNA test.
你让他俩都吐了唾沫了吗
You got them both to spit?
他们现在用头发测了
They use hair now. Eugh.
豪尔赫乳液在水池上
Hey, lotion's on the sink, Jorge.
原来我不是唯一一个
Hey, turns out I'm not the only one
皮肤容易干的人
who suffers from dry naval.
艾丽克斯为什么你拿着
Uh, Alex, why do you have a medical form
有我名字的医疗报告
with my name on it?
我认为不该由我来解释
I don't think I should be the one to explain this.
曼尼你知道
Manny...as you know,
你妈妈和豪尔赫在一起过
your mother and Jorge had a relationship.
你和他很像
You're a lot alike,
所以我们好奇是不是
and it made us curious as to whether...
你是说...
Uh, are -- are you saying --
这是亲子鉴定
This is a DNA test.
你妈也是直到今天才发现
Your mom didn't even find out until today.
所以我
So -- I--
我根本不知道该作何反应
I -- I don't even know how to react.
所以我的整个童年就是个谎言
So my whole childhood was a lie?
我以为哈维尔是我爸
I thought Javier was my dad.
现在他不过是个给我洗澡的陌生人
Now he's just some stranger who gave me baths?
听着孩子
Listen, buddy.
谁将你带到这个世上并不重要
It's not who brings you into the world.
你在这个世上做了什么才重要
It's what you do when you're there.
你不是哈维尔
You're not Javier.
你也不是这个家伙你就是你
You're not this guy. You're you.
你很棒
And what you are is amazing.
你听我说
And for the record,
从你十岁起我就成为你的爸爸
I've been your dad since you were 10,
我至死都是你的爸爸
and I'm gonna be your dad until I'm gone.
我爱你永远都爱你
I love you, and I always will.
杰我也爱你
I love you too, Jay.
愚人节快乐
Ha! April Fool's!
现在是谁不懂笑话啊
Now who doesn't understand a joke?!
什么
What?
我从没跟豪尔赫在一起过
I never dated Jorge!
他是超♥市♥里的屠夫啦
He's the butcher at the grocery store!
我只是觉得他长得跟曼尼很像
I just thought that he looked like Manny!
你为什么要这么做啊
Why would you do that?
因为你们说我不懂幽默
Because you said that I didn't understand funny.
我之前没想到你会整到这么狠
I didn't know you were going to take the prank this far.
你都害外公哭了