摩登家庭
Modern Family S09E16
Part 1
Nov. 26, 2019, 11:02 a.m.
这里很明显就是客厅啦
Obviously, this is the living room.
活动室里的酒柜有很多酒
There's a fully stocked bar in the den,
家庭影院在楼下
and the home theater is downstairs.
厉害了 你老板创建一个时尚网站
Wow. So, your boss launches one style website
就能过上这么豪华的生活啊
and she can afford all of this?
真希望"五零年代深柜爸爸"风格
I wish "1950s closeted father"
也是观众争相追捧
was a look people were clamoring for.
才没那么简单
Oh, it is not that simple.
我们公♥司♥的胜利方程式非常具体
The formula for NERP is very specific --
过气女明星加迷之自信
former actress plus confidence based on nothing
等于售出数百万的可疑健康产品
equals millions in sales of iffy wellness products.
我们应该送她一份礼物 感谢她让我们借住
We should get her a gift for letting us stay here,
但该送什么给一个正在斯里兰卡
but what do you give someone who's researching
研究木炭牙刷的人呢
charcoal toothbrushes in Sri Lanka?
事实上 她正在明斯克
Oh, actually, she's judging
给胎盘烹饪大赛当评审呢
a placenta-cooking contest in Minsk.
那我们还是别碰冰箱里的东西了
Maybe we should stay away from the fridge.
我们已经到酒庄了
So, we're in wine country.
品酒活动何时开始
When does the wine tasting start,
因为被公众狠狠抨击后
because I can use it after
我真心需要喝一杯
the public bashing I've had to endure.
又来了 别一哭二闹了 曼尼
Here we go. No more boo-hooing, Manny.
评论没那么糟
The review wasn't that bad.
他说我扮演的大侦探波罗
He called my portrayal of Inspector Poirot
"不真实" "不可信"
"Unconvincing," "Not believable,"
阿加莎·克里斯蒂所著系列小说中的比利时名侦探
"难以信服" 还有"讽刺地多余"
"Hard to buy," and "Ironically redundant".
米奇 小卡
Hey, Mitch, Cam,
你们已经有一晚时间好好思考我的表演了
now that you guys have had a chance to sleep on my performance,
你们有什么看法
what did you think?
-那角色不好演 -没错 不怪你
- It was a tricky part. - Yeah, and I don't blame you.
只能怪选你去演的人
I blame whoever cast you.
还有几件事
Okay, a couple more things.
终于轮到介绍衣橱了
Finally, the closet part of the tour.
我老板给你们每人都留了一件特别的浴袍
My boss left each of you a very special robe.
穿上后 浴袍能抑制炎症
They minimize inflammation
同时为你的肌肤轻柔去角质
and gently exfoliate your skin whilst you wear them.
真古怪 我只看到六件浴袍
That's weird. I only see six robes.
它们是这点让你觉得古怪吗
That's what's weird about them?
还有一件事
Oh, one last thing --
千万别碰厅里展出的小皇冠
Do not touch the tiara on display in the drawing room.
那非常容易打烂
It is very delicate.
明白了吗
Got it?
抱歉女儿 你又露出那个样子了
Sorry, honey. You're just -- You're doing that thing
看起来就像只很紧绷的小鹿
where you look like a really intense baby deer.
你越想做出凶狠的表情
Oh, the scarier you try to be,
-反而越可爱 -就是啊
- the more adorable you are. ?- I know!
随便了
Whatever. I have, like,
我还要帮我老板干无数的活儿
a million errands to run for my boss.
等一下 既然没人预先说要睡主卧室
Hang on. Since, uh, no one's called dibs on the master bedroom,
我想应该是先到先得了吧
I assume it's up for grabs.
事实上 楼上只有三间客房♥
Oh, actually, there are only three guest bedrooms upstairs,
所以你得睡在那里了
so you'll have to sleep in there, okay?
佣人房♥吗
The maid's quarters?
但那样我就睡在嘎吱作响的门旁边...
But I'll be right next to the creaky do--
你想的话 我可以给门上点润滑油
You know, if you want, I can put some oil on that.
千万不可
Oh, no, no, no. Don't.
这是西♥藏♥传统的吱吱响铰链
These are traditional Tibetan creaking hinges.
咱也得买♥♥一个
We need those.
-悠着点喝 -相信我 爸爸
- Whoa. Go easy. - ?Trust me, Dad.
此刻我真的很需要酒精
Right now, I could really use this.
先把这话说明白 我爱菲尔
I love Phil. Let's just get that out of the way first,
但他有一双熊熊拖鞋
but he has these bear slippers.
我不知道从哪儿来的
I don't know where they came from,
大概是从也卖♥♥尾戒
probably the same place that sells
和其他鬼东西 让你对你老公
pinky rings and other things that make it difficult
难以产生性♥欲♥的地方买♥♥的
to see your husband as a sexual being.
哎呀 我打赤脚[熊爪]应该不能进来
Oh, my gosh. I don't think I'm allowed here in my bare feet.
幸好 我有个妙招
Fortunately, I have a tactic
可以甩掉我不喜欢的东西
for getting rid of things that I hate.
我建议菲尔带拖鞋来度假
I suggest that Phil brings them on vacation,
然后我"忘记"打包带回去
and then I forget to repack them.
谢谢
Thanks.
印着美元符号♥的领带
Dollar-sign necktie --
我一手甩进尼亚加拉大瀑布
I flung it over Niagara Falls.
用水钻拼出"皮条客"的皮带扣
The belt buckle with "Pimp" in crystals?
狠狠投入大峡谷
Chucked it in the Grand Canyon.
我想知道歌♥洛莉亚在加拉帕戈斯岛
Huh. I wonder if that's what Gloria did
是不是也用这招让我的牛仔背心消失
to my denim vest in the Galapagos.
我只需今晚偷溜出来
I just gotta sneak out tonight
把熊拖鞋扔进树林深处就行了
and disappear those bear slippers in the woods.
我是个坏人吗
Am I a terrible person?
不是 但你可能有污染国家公园的
No, but there might be a pattern of desecrating national parks
作案模式 最好注意一下
you might want to look at.
别吃了 小胖
That's enough, Chubs.
你在干吗
What are you doing?
斯黛拉最近非常消沉
Stella's been severely depressed
因为她最好的朋友诺曼
because her best friend, Norman,
也就是邻居的狗 刚刚死了
the next-door neighbor's dog, just died.
她连最喜欢的绝招都不做了
She won't even do her favorite trick anymore.
斯黛拉
Stella.
斯黛拉 说话
Stella, speak.
说话啊 就像你在说"哈啰"
Speak. Like you're saying "Hello".
啊呜 汪汪哈啰
Hellooo! Hel-Hellooo!
哈啰
Hello?
我想带斯黛拉一起来旅行 逗她开心
I wanted to bring Stella on the trip to cheer her up.
她从没见过四季变化 但歌♥洛莉亚希望
She never sees seasons, but Gloria wanted one night
能有一晚只有我跟她在床上
with just the two of us in bed,
所以我做了通情达理的决定
so I did the only sensible thing.
你把她留在家给狗保姆照顾吗
You left her at home with a dog sitter?
在前面那家酒店给她开了个房♥间
Checked her in the hotel down the road.
我想灌歌♥洛莉亚多喝点酒
I'm trying to get some wine in Gloria
让她早早昏睡过去 我就能溜出去喂斯黛拉了
so she passes out early and I can sneak off and feed Stella.
前面那家酒店 你是指五星豪华丽兹酒店吗
The hotel down the road? You mean the Ritz?
我用会员积分换的 别激动
I had points. Calm down.
好酷啊 这个既是开瓶器也是瓶塞
Oh, how cool. This is both an opener and a stopper.
真不错
Nice.
看来这不仅对瓶子有此功用
Oh, I guess what it does for bottles,
对聊天也一样 开完即合
it also does for conversations.
等等 那不是... 罗纳多
Wait, is that -- Ronaldo!
米奇尔
Mitchell!
好巧啊
What a surprise.
这位是谁
And who is this?
我一直以为我才是你最性感的拉丁朋友
I always assumed I was your sexiest Latin friend.
这是歌♥洛莉亚 歌♥洛莉亚 这是罗纳多
This is Gloria. Gloria, Ronaldo.
-玻利维亚人吗 -危地马拉人
- Bolivian? ?- Guatemalan.
-委内瑞拉人吗 -哥伦比亚人
- Venezuelan? ?- Colombian.
看不懂这是在干嘛
Mm-hmm. ?Not sure what this is.
你来城里干什么呀
Um, so w-what are you doing in town?
就是来买♥♥点红酒 我要承办一个宴会
Oh, just picking up some wine for a party I'm catering...
在奥普拉·温弗瑞家
at Oprah Winfrey's.
美国知名脱口秀主持人 深受女性与同性恋族群喜爱
也拥有自己的电视台
-什么 -别骗人了
- What? - Stop it!
-这是了不起的事吗 -你少在那边装了
- Oh, what, is that a big deal? - Don't you be coy.
你明明知道刚才那一瞬间我就对你折服了
You know the power dynamic just shifted between us.
你们想的话 我可以带你们参加派对
If you want, I can get you two into the party.
-少来了 -你愿意帮我们吗
- Get out! - You would do that for us?
仅仅因为我很喜欢你
Only because I like you so much.
我也超喜欢你
I like you so much, too!
你们变脸变蛮快的嘛
That was a quick thaw.
但只能你们两人 不能带上卡梅隆
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