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Modern Family S09E19
Part 2
Nov. 26, 2019, 11:03 a.m.
我不会让你们遇到任何危险
I'm not gonna let anything happen to you.
我不想再埋葬一个随警巡逻员了
I can't bury another ride-along.
我是这个辖区的笑料
I'm kind of the precinct cut up.
好了 米奇尔 不会有事的
Okay. Mitchell, it'll be fine.
他们天天干这个
They do these things all the time.
你倒说得轻巧
Yeah, easy for you to say.
我的脑袋跟某黑帮专属色撞色
My entire head is a gang color.
这真是太令人兴奋了
Okay, this is so exciting.
你知道吗 我上辈子
You know, in my alternate life,
就是个警♥察♥
I'm a -- I'm a cop.
你上辈子不是
I-I thought that your alternate life
教迷途少年跳街舞的吗
was you teaching at-risk youth to street dance.
不 我是教他们通过跳街舞
No, I teach them to believe in themselves
学会相信自己
through street dance.
小卡总想去随警巡逻
Cam's always wanted to go on a ride-along.
于是我叫我
So, I called in a favor
在地检署上班的法学院朋友露西帮忙
to my law school friend Lucy at the DA's office.
奇怪的是 他们部门缺人
Weird thing, they're understaffed.
她邀我去当检察官
And she offered me a job as a prosecutor.
我想象不出自己戴检察官徽的样子
I just -- I can't picture myself with a badge.
毕竟我已经痛恨我钱包有多厚了
I mean, I already hate how thick my wallet is.
我们什么时候撇了
So, when do we roll?
-你是指出发吗 -收到
- You mean leave? - Oh, copy that.
我很难忍♥住不说行话
You know, it's hard for me not to use the lingo.
我自己也算是法界先锋
Bit of a lawman myself,
在高中担任代理副校长
acting high-school vice principal.
他们给我取名号♥"关节炎"
Anyway, they call me "arthritis"
因为我不让高四学生[老年人]好过
because I make life hard on seniors.
没人这么叫你
They don't.
但他自己做了名牌放到办公桌上 对吧
But he did make a sign for his desk, didn't ya?
你不觉得你有点用力过猛了吗
Do you think that perhaps you're coming on a tad strong?
不 我认为斯塔勃利斯基警官
No, I think Officer Stablitzky
会很欣赏我懂行话
appreciates me knowing the language.
就像去意大利时
It's, like, when you go to Italy,
每两个字中间插句"甭客气"[意语]
you use "prego" every other word.
-他们特喜欢 -非法闯入现行
- They love it. - Break-in in progress.
库伯与奥林匹克街
Cooper and Olympic.
-等等 她说什么 -现行
- Wait. What was that? - In progress?
我们该等他们犯完案再去吗
Should we wait 'til they're done?
-12A3响应 -收到 12A3
- 12-A-3 responding. - Copy 12-A-3.
米奇尔 不如你坐副驾驶吧
Mitchell, why don't you ride shotgun?
不 他坐激流勇进时
Oh, no, You know, he doesn't do that well
在前排吓坏了 所以...
on Splash Mountain in the front seat, so...
他不会有事的 上车
He'll be fine. Get in.
遵命 警官 好的
Yes, sir. Okay.
那好 那或许
Okay, and then, you know, then,
每一个案子我俩轮换坐前座
maybe I can front seat on even crimes.
-这样才公平 -还是不要了
- You know, to keep it fair. - Probably not.
菲尔 现在退出还不迟
You know, Phil, it's not too late to back out.
我的身体状况在人生巅峰
I am in the best shape of my life.
上次去体♥检♥后
After my last physical,
医生把我的应激试验结果发到社交网站上了
the doctor posted my stress test on his Instagram.
亲爱的 我每周去篮球场锻炼四天
Honey, I'm on the basketball court four days a week.
他们都叫我"菲尔·灌篮菲人"
They call me "Phil Dunk-phy".
你好好看看我的脸
Well, take a good look at this face
因为你接下来只能看到我的后脑勺了
'cause it's the last time ou're gonna see it for a while --
各就各位 预备 跑
on your mark, get set, go!
我立即拉伤了肌肉
I immediately pulled that muscle
就是从头顶
that runs from the top of your head
一直到脚底的那条
down to the bottom of your feet.
事实是
The truth is,
我被夹在工作和不想去健身之间
between work and not wanting to workout,
所以根本没怎么去健身
I hadn't worked out that much.
欢迎来到丛林 克莱尔
Welcome to the jungle, Claire.
猴哥一盯上你 猴哥...
Monkey see, monkey d-
我的第一反应是我的双肩都中弹了
My first thought was that I had been shot in both shoulders.
是这样的 在克莱尔去健身时
Here's the thing -- while Claire works out,
我的确去了篮球场
I do go to the basketball court,
但是去参加机器人♥大♥战
but, uh, for epic robot battles.
旋转争霸者又将我堵死了
Oh, Spin-a-tron cornered me again.
看来我被你消灭了
Looks like you got me dead --
负鼠拳
Possum-punch!
负鼠拳 负鼠拳
Possum-punch! Possum-punch!
云朵看起来有点不妙
Clouds look kind of ominous, huh?
好像有雨滴到我身上了
Kind of felt a raindrop.
-或许我们该改天再... -好
- Maybe we should res- - Okay.
抱歉我们没赶上抢劫
Sorry we missed that robbery.
要能那样开始一天该多带劲
It would've been a fun way to start the day.
你们有没有考虑过用导航应用
Yeah, hi. Have you guys considered using the Waze app.
我可以打开
I could fire it up
然后做你们的引路鹅
and it'd be kind of, like, your Goose.
-你看到了吗 -看到什么
- Whoa, did you see that? - See what?
我被挡住了 什么都看不见
I'm blocked. I can't see anything.
那个混♥蛋♥刚刚超了那位婆婆的车
That jerk just cut off that old lady.
-想吓唬他一下吗 -吓唬谁
- Wanna mess with him? - Mess with who?
这样合规矩吗
Is that allowed?
他能怎么办 报♥警♥吗
What's he gonna do, call the cops?
你们能大点声说话吗
Can you speak up a little bit?
我跟不上了
I'm losing the thread.
警笛在那
That's the siren.
-好的 -先别开
- Okay. ?- Not yet.
别开
Not yet.
现在
Now!
我的天
Oh, my God!
他慌了 他靠边停了
He's freaked out. Oh, he's pulling over.
-戴上墨镜瞪他 -好的
- Put these on and glare at him. - ?Okay, okay.
没错 你知道你犯错误了
That's right. You know you were bad.
像狗一样坐那反省去
Sit in your shame like a dog!
你天生是这块料
?You're a natural.
我的天 太爽了
Oh, my God, that was such a rush.
我猜揍人或边跑边接到球
I imagine that's what it feels like to punch a guy or --
就是这种感觉
or catch a ball while running.
两位话痨 注意前方
Oh, hey, Chatty-Cathys, heads up.
-那边可能有代号♥10-99事项 -什么
- Possible 10-99 right over here. - What?
那边有两个下三滥在做现金交易
Couple low lifes over there exchanging cash-money.
-那边 -因为那是报刊亭
- Right here? ?- That's because it's a newsstand.
我还很确定1099是填报税表时用的
And I'm pretty sure a 1099 is a tax form.
-小卡 -是的 如今干什么都得填表
- Oh, Cam. - Oh, yeah, well, what isn't a form these days?
我都被校董事会的文件活埋了
School board's got me buried in paperwork.
我去上个厕所都得三个人签字批准
I gotta get three John Hancocks just to take a leak.
你瞧 我们是一样的
We're the same, see?
容我打断一下
Oh, if I can interrupt for just one second.
我一直在输入车牌号♥
I've been typing license plates numbers --
你说我可以
as you said I could --
这辆脏车里的这家伙
and this guy in this dirty car here,
正因为未付子女赡养费被缉
he has a warrant for unpaid child support.
很敏锐 阿普里
Good catch, Pritch.
现在他连昵称都有了
He gets a nickname now?!
-贼头鼠脑的 -是啊
- Hmm, looking squirrely. - Yeah.
没错 他逃跑了
Yep, we got a runner!
跟紧我
?Stick by me.
我的天 真要去抓人
Oh, my God, is this happening?
真要去抓人 好的
This is happening. Okay.
两位 两位
Hey, guys? Guys?
后座没有门把手 我也想去
There's no handles back here! I wanna come!
卢克 我读过你的申请论文了
Well, Luke, I read your essay.
你很有勇气
Took a lot of guts to admit
承认一年前没准备好读大学
you weren't ready for college a year ago.
当时我还很不成熟
I had a lot of growing up to do.
于是我找了工作 自己付账单
So, I got a job, I paid my bills,
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