摩登家庭

Modern Family S09E07

Part 1 Nov. 26, 2019, 11:01 a.m.

感恩节晚餐
大家都有酒了吗我要开始感恩节祝酒了
Does everyone have a glass? I'm just giving my Thanksgiving toast.
拜托老爸你不觉得这样很怪吗
Oh, come on, Dad. Isn't it weird that
每年都要选一个不知为何
every year you single out one person
反正就是让你觉得格外骄傲的人
who somehow made you extra proud this year?
这让我们其他人觉得...
It makes the rest of us feel like we --
是你克莱尔
It's you, Claire.
真棒我就知道
Yeah! I knew it!
还有你菲尔米奇尔
And you, Phil, and you, Mitchell.
实际上是你们所有人
Actually, it's all of you.
我知道我在家庭中引发竞争
I know I get a hard time
你们都对我都颇有微词
for stirring up competition in the family,
但瞧瞧结果
but look at the results.
菲尔新开了家魔术用品店
Phil scoring with his new magic shop.
小卡带的球队赢得了重要比赛
Cam winning the big game.
克莱尔赢了跑步比赛
Claire winning the race.
而米奇尔吓跑了那个小偷
And Mitchell scaring away that burglar.
你也是赢家杰
And you are a winner, too, Jay.
他想跟乔共度更多时光
He wanted to spend more time with Joe,
所以他每天
so he's dropping him off
都送他上学接他放学
and picking him up from school every day.
爸爸她怎么了
Dad, what is wrong with her?
我挑战她
I challenged her to get
一周内走十万步
to 100,000 steps in a week.
-那很容易 -真容易
- That's easy. - That's so easy.
不算购物
Without shopping.
-我明白挑战难处了 -不
- I get -- I get the challenge. - No.
她还剩1000步就获得荣誉了
She's 1,000 steps from glory.
跟你们一样
Like the rest of you,
她的动力来源于我的吝于赞美
she was motivated by my stingy praise.
我环顾四周看到的全是赢家
As I look around the room, I see nothing but winners,
我感到十分骄傲
and I couldn't be prouder.
敬我们
To us!
这里的每个人都是赢家
Everyone here is a winner.
那天早些时候
你知道这场重要比赛让我很紧张
You knew I was nervous about the big game,
所以你拿出了我的好吧
so you set out my -- Okay.
糖屑是给英雄准备的
Sprinkles are for heroes.
给二爸
Here, Daddy.
谢谢你保护我们
Thank you for protecting us.
我们都为米奇尔那天做的事感到骄傲
We're all so proud of Mitchell about what happened the other day.
我的想法是我们可以...
What I was thinking was, we could...
天啊
Oh, my gosh!
有人闯入了吗
Was there a break-in?
对啊对啊简直要疯了
Yeah, yeah. It was -- It was crazy.
我当时就冲他吼叫
I just started yelling at him,
我好像就把他吓跑了所以...
and I guess I scared him away, so...
天啊亲爱的你没事吧
Oh, my gosh, sweetie. Are you okay?
是的我没事
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.
-你真勇敢 -宝贝
- You're so brave. - Oh, honey.
万分骄傲
So proud.
如果小偷回来了而勇敢二爸不在的话
If the robber comes back when Brave Daddy isn't here,
-我们可以用这个 -不不
- we can use these. - Okay, no, no, no, no.
那是我在学校没收的
I had to confiscate those at school.
这很危险
They're very dangerous,
而且你最好避开这种亚洲人刻板印象物件
and, plus, you should avoid the cliche.
没收违♥禁♥品♥是我在学校新工作的一部分
Confiscating contraband is part of my new job at school.
我最近升职为
I was recently promoted to
代理[演戏]副校长了
acting vice principal.
这跟演戏毫无关系
Which has nothing to do with acting.
他们非常明确地跟我说了
That was made very clear to me.
你看起来有些紧张
Hey. Hey. Y-You seem a little nervous.
你是在担心这场重要比赛吗
Are you -- Are you worried about the big game?
是啊我有些紧张
Yeah. I'm a little nervous.
响尾蛇队过去六年里都打败了我们
The Rattlesnakes have beat us the last six years,
而我们不能输
and we cannot lose.
你这么紧张是因为他们的教练是女人吗
Is any of this because their coach is a woman?
我们不该支持她吗因为
I mean, shouldn't we be rooting for her, because --
因为她是一个执教橄榄球的异性恋吗
Oh, what, because she's another straight person coaching football?
-祝你好运 -谢谢你亲爱的
- Well, good luck. - Thank you, sweetie.
我无法保证我让你感受到的骄傲
You know, I can't promise that I'll make you as proud as your daddy
和打跑了小偷的二爸一样多但我会努力
who fought off a burglar, but I will try.
有传言说后援俱乐部
You know, there's murmurs that the booster club
要把给我们的一些经费转给科学项目
is gonna divert some of our money to the science program.
因为霸气的肯尼迪家族就是这么变酷的
Because that's what made the Kennedys cool, you know --
靠在草坪上玩科学什么的
playing science on the lawn.
第一个想出怎么把号♥码布一次贴到位的人
Ow! The first person who figures out how to stick these numbers
肯定能发大财
right on is gonna be rich.
你可以在穿上背心之前先贴好啊
You could just pin it to your shirt before you put it on.
你跟别人分享过这个点子吗
Have you shared this idea with anyone else?
艾丽克斯小时候我会把她放进慢跑婴儿车里
When Alex was a baby, I used to throw her in a jogging stroller,
她是我的跑步伙伴
and she was my running buddy.
这周她得知我要跑一万米时
This week, when she found out I was doing a 10K,
就坚持要来
she insisted on coming.
无聊死了
Snore.
我把我妈当做我的白♥痴♥心理学论文的对象
I'm using my mom as a subject for my stupid psych paper
因为我开始太晚没法领猴子研究
because I started too late to sign out a monkey.
论文是关于积极与消极强化的
It's about positive versus negative reinforcement.
比赛前半程我会喊 "你能做到的妈"
First half of the race -- "You can do it, Mom!"
后半程则是 "算了吧女人"
Second half -- "It's not your day, lady!"
幸好做完实验后
Thankfully, after it's done,
给猴子买♥♥的香蕉可以给她补充能量
I'll still be able to give out the banana I bought.
多谢你照顾乔
Thank you so much for taking care of Joe.
我还得去店里买♥♥点晚餐食材
I still have to get some things from the store for dinner.
没问题
It's no problem.
我有很多知识可以传授
I got a lot of knowledge to pass on.
你有在持续练习打嗝吗
You been practicing your burping drills?
是的
Yes!
-好些了 -好闲聊完了
- Better. - Okay, enough chitchat.
给我促销的VIP票
Give me the V.I.P. Pass for the sale.
大家都听说过H.布朗夫曼服装的
Everybody's heard of the H. Bronfman Clothiers
黑五促销那时候大伙儿
Black Friday sale where the hoi polloi
像动物一样疯狂争抢晚礼服
fight over tuxedos like animals.
但是在感恩节
But on Thanksgiving Day,
极少数人会受邀当第一批进场的买♥♥家
a select few are invited to get first crack.
如果我能把要的都买♥♥齐
If I get everything I want,
我的燕尾服就会在小姑娘房♥里脱到只剩两成
that tux will be 80% off in Tammy Bosworth's dorm room.
黑金卡
Black gold.
这是俱乐部成员当做小费给我的
I got it as a tip from some club members
他让我弄来几瓶灰雁伏特加
who had me "deal" with some geese.
你休想玷污这次体验
You will not taint this experience.
克莱尔你为什么贴着号♥码布
Claire, why do you have that number?
你参加选美比赛了吗
Are you in a pageant?
她要跑一万米她的表现一定会很棒
She's running a 10K. And she is going to do great.
我就知道你会让我们感到骄傲
I know that you're gonna make us oh-so proud!
显然这本该是群抱
Obviously, this was meant to be a group hug,
而我的邀请函在邮寄时遗失了
and my invitation got lost in the mail. Mm.
菲尔你为了变魔术
Phil... that crazy phone booth
订的那个疯狂电♥话♥亭
that you ordered for your magic trick --
已经在我家了
It's already at my house.
提前两天到了吗
It's here two days early?!
我今天就能拍摄教程
I can shoot my how-to video today!
海莉好戏上演了
Haley! Showtime!
毫无疑问二战中
It goes without saying that the greatest trick
最伟大的魔术就是诺曼底电♥话♥亭
to come out of World War II is the Normandy Phone Booth.
多年来它的名声时起时落
Over the years, its reputation has ebbed and flowed.
众所周知在1969年的
It was famously booed
纳拉干塞特魔术节上它遭到了大家的喝倒彩
at the 1969 Narragansett Magic Festival.
当然那时候
Of course, this is a time
大部分人都在抗♥议♥魔术
when most people are into protest magic.
所以很自然他们会对经典魔术嗤之以鼻
So naturally, they would thumb their nose at a classic trick