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Modern Family S09E05
Part 3
Nov. 26, 2019, 11:01 a.m.
万圣节 愚人节
It's this, April Fools' Day,
愚人节前一天
and the day before April Fools' Day,
因为没人会有防备
'cause no one sees it coming.
第四个呢
What's the fourth?
想得美 卡罗尔
Nice try, Carol.
重点是
The point is,
有一天你醒来
you're gonna wake up one morning
发现你家小孩不再恶作剧了
and find out that your kids don't TP anymore.
珍惜可爱的小坏蛋还作恶的日子吧
Cherish these days with your adorable little vandals.
感谢你的理解
Well, I appreciate the understanding,
但我想给他们点教训
but I'm trying to teach them a lesson.
我会给他们教训的
Oh, I'm gonna teach them a lesson,
因为报仇的时候到啦
'cause it's payback time.
恶作剧大战正式开始
Pranks wars have begun.
太棒了
Yes!
好了 孩子们
Okay, kids.
我想邓菲先生还有更重要的事要做
I think Mr. Dunphy has better things to do
才不会浪费时间和你们恶作剧大战
than spend his day in a prank war with you.
好消息 孩子们 我没事
Good news, boys. I don't.
好吧
Okay.
你完成不了作业
We cannot take you trick-or-treating
就不带你去讨糖
if you don't finish your homework.
你们不是有话要谈吗
Didn't you two have something you wanted to talk about?
小卡
Um, so, Cam...
我正在试着连无线网
I'm trying to get Wi-Fi
这样才能看我老家的
so I can watch the pumpkin weigh-in
万圣节南瓜称重赛
at the Halloween festival back home.
25年前
You know, 25 years ago,
我培育了威奇托最大的南瓜
I raised the largest Wichita Thumper,
至今此记录还没被打破
and the record still stands.
多多包涵
I am so sorry.
这话怎么说都听起来像小卡卖♥♥瓜
There's no way to say that that doesn't sound braggy.
不不 你这么说还好啦
No, no, you just did fine.
但我想和你说
Um, but I just wanted to say to you --
每个南瓜 都有一个故事
You know, as with every pumpkin, there's a story.
那是一个寒冷的夜晚
It was a cold, bitter night,
窗户传来咚咚咚敲打的声音
when tap-tap-tap on the window.
惊奇的是居然是我南瓜的藤
Darn if it wasn't the vine of my pumpkin,
在外面摇晃
just out there trembling away.
真是个好故事
That is a great story.
然后 我爸就把南瓜
Next thing I know, Daddy's pulling the pumpkin
拉进了窗户 当然很小心 没弄断藤
through the window, careful, of course, not to break the vine.
之后几个月 它成为我家的一员
And for months, it just became a part of our household --
大家跨过它才能进厨房♥
people stepping over it to get into the kitchen,
它挡住了半个电视
blocked half the TV.
我们以为《脱线家族》
We thought "The Brady Bunch"
一部拥有6个孩子的重组家庭故事
讲的是3个可爱女孩子的故事
was just about three lovely girls.
但没人抱怨
Oh, but nobody complained.
当然 我获得了总冠军
Sure, I won Grand Champion,
还得到下一个龙♥卷♥风♥的命名权
you know, and the right to name the next tornado.
但我印象最深的
But the thing I remember most
是我家人为我所做的牺牲
are the sacrifices my family made for just me.
这就是我家乡对待家人的方式
That's how we do family where I'm from.
我老家那也是这么对待家人的
That's how we do family where I am from!
歌♥洛莉亚 我得赶紧连上网
Oh, Gloria! I got to get this Wi-Fi.
你都看见了 是不是
You saw that, didn't you?
人在做天在看
I see everything.
你们十分钟后突袭办公室
In 10 minutes, you're gonna storm the office,
在所有人慌乱的时候
everybody freaks out,
我神奇女侠现身 击败丧尸
I go Wonder Woman, fight off the zombies.
-明白了 -好
- Got it. - ?Okay.
我的孩子们或许不感兴趣了
My kids may be over it,
但办公室的大家喜欢万圣节克莱尔
but at the office, they love Halloween Claire.
这是在普里契特衣柜工作的好处之一
It's one of the perks of working at Pritchett's Closets.
虽然接下来一年都得帮忙付咖啡钱
Sure, you got to pitch in for coffee the rest of the year,
但万圣节那天的大戏是免费的
but on October 31st, the show is free.
-大家马上就来开会了 -很好
- Everyone's on their way here to a meeting. - Great.
今年不搞角色扮演了吗
Oh, so, no costume this year?
应该不会
Apparently not.
明智之举
Oh, good call.
所有人都受不了
Everyone was so sick of it.
变装压力太大了
The pressure to dress up!
他们求我来和你谈谈来着
You know, they begged me to talk to you,
但我说 "不 克莱尔会意识到
but I said, "No, Claire will realize
大家有多不情愿的"
how miserable everybody is."
-这么说谁都 -我想喝你的...
- So no-nobody -- - I vant to drink your --
我们不用再搞角色扮演了
We don't have to do it anymore.
谢天谢地
Oh, thank God!
你知道我今早照镜子时哭了吗
You know, I cried in the mirror this morning?
大伙 大伙 都结束了
Guys, everybody. It's over.
终于不用再搞这一套了 别担心
The whole thing's finally over. No worries.
是啊
Yeah.
我先失陪片刻
I'm just gonna need a quick second.
不不不 别别别
No, no, no. Stop, stop, stop, stop.
-抱歉 -快走
- Sorry. - Go.
请各位
So, if you could just,
注意看屏幕
uh, take your attention to the screen, please.
市场调查表明...
And... for the market research --
拜托 没人想来这一出
Please. Nobody wants this.
她想给我们个惊喜
Oh, she's surprising us.
丧尸来袭了
It's a zombie attack.
万岁
Yay.
但神奇女侠来救我们了 太好了
Oh, but it's Wonder Woman to the rescue, yeah.
神奇女侠 救救我
Wonder Woman, help me.
好吧 好戏结束了
Okay, fun's over.
快点 都走吧
Come on. Everybody --
好吧 好吧
Okay! All right!
给你 拿走 拿走
Here! Take it! Take it!
天啊 我太抱歉了
Ow, God! I am so sorry!
你这么早就回来了
You're home early.
我本来与俱乐部一个叫艾比的女生打得火热
I was into this awesome girl, Abby, from the club.
我们本打算今晚进入下一个阶段
And tonight, we were gonna take things to the next level,
也就是 你懂 性
which is, you know, sex.
想个代号♥总是好的
Always classy to name it.
但问题是她特别善妒
But the one problem is she's super jealous
她貌似觉得我在和
and got this idea I was messing around
小卖♥♥部的卡拉胡搞
with Carla from the snack bar.
我的确有
Which I was.
所以我得在去见艾比前
So I had to break it off with Carla
和卡拉分手
before seeing Abby.
顺利吗
How'd it go?
她用食品夹把我一顿抽
I got a major tong lashing.
搞什么
What the heck?
卡拉 冷静点 等一下
Carla, calm down! Wait -- Oh!
等等 让我解释
Wait, wait, I can explain!
让我解释 谁来救救我
I can explain! Somebody help!
于是我遮住我的淤伤
So I covered up my bruises
清理了所有和小卖♥♥部有关的证据
and checked for any snack-bar-related evidence
才去见艾比
before seeing Abby.
抱歉我迟到了
Sorry I'm late.
我传你的照片时扭伤了脖子
I got whiplash passing a picture of you.
事情进展得不能更顺利了
Things couldn't have been going any better...
我爸肯定会讨厌死你
My dad is going to hate you.
然后变得更顺利了
...and then they got better.
直到...
Until...
芥末
Mustard?
你分明讨厌芥末
You hate mustard.
你个王八蛋 你又去和卡拉胡搞了
You son of a bitch! You were with Carla!
我知道有完美金句
I knew there was one perfect thing
说出来就能挽救大局
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