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Modern Family S09E20

Part 1 Nov. 26, 2019, 11:03 a.m.

爸爸们会很想你俩的玩得开心哦
Daddies will miss you both so much! Have the best time!
再见亲爱的
Bye, honey.
* 家里只有我俩了只有我俩了 *
* We're alone! We're alone! We're alone! We're alone! *
外面有个盒子上面写着每月水果
There's a box out here marked fruit of the month.
我想是因为你们赢了比赛才有不是买♥♥的吧
I'm assuming that means one of you won a contest.
小帕在我们家楼上
So, Pam's moving back home
住了大概三年后终于要搬回家了
after living in our upstairs unit for like three years.
行了就一年零九天
Uh, okay, it's been a year and nine days,
她帮我们砍了那木头呢
and she chopped us all that wood.
而且她带莉莉回去见我父母
Plus, she's taking Lily back to see my parents.
现在是生育季莉莉可以给她第一只小猪取名了
It's birthing season so she gets to name her first pig.
等她13岁生日时我们就杀了那猪
Oh, and then we slaughter it on her 13th birthday.
那时会有祈祷也有跳舞
There's prayers and dancing.
跟标准的犹太成年礼大同小异啦
It's not unlike your standard bar mitzvah.
不过多了很多猪肉少了很多犹太人
Except a lot more pork and a lot less Jews.
犹太人不吃猪肉
总之我们很高兴又能在家单独相处了
Anyway, we're excited to have the house to ourselves again.
* 裸体早餐裸体早餐 *
* Naked breakfast, naked breakfast *
别管了
Just ignore it.
* 做着香肠和粗燕麦粉衣不遮体 *
* Making sausages and grits, barely coverin' our bits *
* 煎着意大利烘蛋饼一♥丝♥不♥挂♥ *
* Cookin' a frittata while wearin' nada *
我就知道你俩不会锁侧门
I knew you two would keep the side door unlocked.
如果我是变♥态♥神经病你们会怎么做
What would you do if I were a deranged psychopath?
我也许会先说 "妈妈你来这干什么"
I'd probably start with, "Hi, Mom, what are you doing here?"
杰瑞和我大吵一架
Jerry and I had a terrible row!
穿条裤子吧我们好拥抱
Well, put on some pants so we can hug.
-好吧 -背靠背
- Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Back to back.
我们为什么不倒♥退♥着出去
Why didn't we just back out?
我不知道但都开始了就接着这么走完吧
I don't know, but we're already committed to this.
好最后一次试飞然后我们就开始收拾
Okay, last run, and then we clean up
不然你妈妈会生气的等等成功了
or your mom will be mad. hang on, here we go.
去吧
And go!
做得好
Nice job.
保持稳定
Keep her steady.
-好 -你可以的
- Okay. - Got this.
不
No!
不好
Oh, no.
不好
Oh, no!
我最近坐着
I recently sat for
让人画了普里契特橱柜董事长肖像
my Pritchett's Closets presidential portrait.
这是我爸开始的愚蠢传统
It's a dumb tradition my dad started,
但我挺喜欢我的画像的
but I kind of love the way mine turned out.
至少这比他的画像更低调
At least it's more understated than his.
色彩柔和
The colors are muted
我也没穿饰带和佩枪
and I am not wearing a sash and service revolver.
我们死定了
We're dead.
我们不该玩...
We never should have played with --
无人机呢你把它关了吗
Where is the drone? Did you turn it off?
人家在睡觉好吗
I was asleep.
这地方看起来很棒啊
Wow, this place looks dynamite.
我想为曼迪准备一个很棒的电影首映式
I wanted to give Manny a nice premiere for his movie.
他最近创意进入了瓶颈期
He's been in such a dry spell creatively.
那次现代舞表演...
That modern dance recital was like...
我都没眼看那件紧身衣[大便]
Ugh, I couldn't even look at that leotard.
是啦他是个糟糕的舞者
Okay, yeah, he's a terrible dancer,
但你没必要说那个词吧
but you don't have to use that word.
为了交电影课作业我创作并导演了一部短片
For my film class, I wrote and directed a short.
我认为恐怖片类型最好地阐述了
I felt the horror genre was the best way to grapple with
我们这一时代的艰难挣扎
the struggles of our time.
曼尼一开始带着这项目来找我时
When Manny first came to me with the project...
你读了我放在家里的剧本然后就强势参与了
You read a script I left out and you elbowed your way in.
意思差不多我本打算当个静默投资人
Semantics. I was gonna be the silent money.
但原来我天生有叙事天赋
But it turns out I've got some natural storytelling talent,
所以我执掌了更偏创作方面的职位
so I took on a more creative role.
即使如此我也拿到了我的第一个A
In spite of that, I got my first "A."
我们的第一个A
Our first "A."
我现在没法处理我妈妈的婚姻闹剧
I can't deal with my mother's marriage drama right now.
没谁能比我们能更快劝好失恋的人
Nobody gets the love-lorn back on their feet
恢复心情离开咱家
and out the door faster than we do.
我们只需拿出我们可靠的"心碎工具箱"
We'll just trot out our -- our trusty "Heartbreak kit."
在柜子里的地震工具箱旁边的那个吗
Is that in the closet next to the earthquake kit?
还有艾萨·凯特[音似工具箱]
And the Eartha Kitt.
美国知名老牌黑人女歌♥手
你把那些东西放在一起是为了哄我高兴吗
Did you put those all in the same place just to delight me?
是的
I did.
有红酒一本自助书
So, you have wine, a self-help book,
形状是柏拉图式男性身体的抱枕
a-a pillow shaped like the platonic ideal
可供你拥抱或和撒气
of a male torso for cuddling and/or punching...
还有我们给你录的DVD
And a DVD we made for you called
叫"唐娜·莎曼[夏季]奥♥运♥会"
the "Donna Summer Olympics."
是最性感男运动员们
It's a compilation of all the sexiest male athletes
搭配迪斯科女王的合集
accompanied by the high queen of disco.
你们这些小伙子啊
Oh, you boys.
真懂得洞悉女人的需求
So sensitive to a woman's needs.
不像是杰瑞
Unlike Jerry.
我跟你们说了他妈妈跟我们住一起吗
Did I tell you that his mother is living with us?
没经过讨论
Yeah, no discussion.
她就带着鸟出现了
She just shows up with her birds.
妈妈感情是需要牺牲的
Well, you know, Mom, relationships take sacrifice.
小卡的姐姐小帕搬来时
I mean, when Cam's sister Pam moved in,
我也很难接受
it w-- it was hard on me.
我一直都担心
I-I was constantly worried about
损失掉的楼上房♥间租金
the lost money on the upstairs rental and...
米奇尔也许我们不该讨论钱
You know, Mitchell, maybe we shouldn't discuss money.
有些不得体
It can be a bit unseemly.
我没打算表现得不得体
I wasn't planning on being unseemly,
这个词我之前从未听你用过
a word I've never heard you use before.
我只是在说
I-I'm simply saying how stressful
有个长♥期♥的留宿客人压力有多大
having a long-term house guest can be and...
亲爱的深呼吸
Oh. ?Oh, sweetie, yeah, take a breath.
天啊天啊不不
Oh, my -- Oh, my -- Oh, my God. No. No.
我小时候你就这样做
You used to do this when I was young.
这动作你是从我妈妈那儿学的吗
Did you get this move from my mother?
米奇尔没必要这样不... 脾气这么大
Mitchell, there is no reason for this uns-- um, high-temper --
不得体你打算说"不得体"
Unseemly! You were gonna say "Unseemly"!
不得体你是从她那学到的这个词
Unseemly! You stole that word from her.
好吧怎么回事
Okay, okay, okay. W-What's going on here?
你俩是朋友吗
Are you two, um... friends?
是的
Yes.
我们聊电♥话♥ 发邮件交换食谱
We talk on the phone, e-mail, exchange recipes.
是因为她我们才经常吃藜麦吗
Oh. Oh, is she the reason we've been eating so much quinoa?
-那是超级食物 -那是超级食物
- It's a super-food. - It's a super-food.
够了我能和你聊聊吗
Okay, okay. Can I talk to you for a second?
来
Come on.
好没必要撒谎因为我已经知道了
Okay, no reason to lie about it, 'cause I already know.
你跟这女人联♥系♥多久了
How long have you been involved with this woman?
我能问个问题吗是不是有可能
Can I ask a question? Is there a chance you're just
你在把事情焦点全带到自己身上了
kind of making this all about Mitchell?
是她
That's her.
你的嘴在动但这都是她的语言
Your mouth is moving, but that is her talking.
你没看出发生了什么吗
Okay, don't you see what's happening?
她在操控你来控制我
She's manipulating you to manipulate me.
难道你不觉得我够聪明能看出来
Don't you think I'm smart enough to know
我是否被利用了吗
if I'm being used?
我也有个妈妈
I also have a mom.
你太高估自己了土包子
You're out of your league here, bumpkin!
这可是城里的妈妈
Okay, this is a city mother!
跟我结婚的那个得体男人上哪儿去了
Wow. What happened to the seemly man I married?
这词不能这样用
You can't use it like that.
看起来怎么样
Okay, how's it looking?
还行
Not bad.