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Modern Family S09E12

Part 2 Nov. 26, 2019, 11:02 a.m.

我当即向她求婚
I proposed to her on the spot.
总之从那之后
Anyhoo, it's come with me
我每次住院这只熊都会陪伴我来祈求好运
to every visit in the hospital since for good luck.
我好担心我给忘了
And I was so worried about forgetting it
所以你猜我做了什么
that guess what I did?
你带上了吗
Remembered it?
我给你带了非常舒服的护颈枕
Well, I brought you your nice, comfy neck pillow,
然后我马上回家给你拿手术熊好吗
and I'm gonna run right home and get you Surgery Bear, okay?
-好的 -好
- Okay. ?- Okay.
-老爸 -对了亲爱的
- Dad! ?- Hi. Oh, honey.
-怎么了 -为防有三长两短
- Yeah? ?- Just in case,
我给你和孩子们做了一支告别视频
I made one of my goodbye videos for you and the kids.
我发在老地方了
I posted it in the usual spot.
-好了 -告别视频
- Okay. ?- Goodbye videos?
没什么别担心
It's nothing, don't worry about it.
我马上就回来
I'll be right back. I'll be right back.
-好啊菲尔 -嗨
- Hey, Phil. ?- Hi.
你感觉怎么样
How you feeling?
你跟他们说长裤的事了吗
Did you tell them about the long pants?
对他们得把我的长裤剪掉
Oh, yeah, they had to cut me out of them
因为裤子缠上了
when th-- when they got tangled up
轮椅的辐条
in the spokes of the wheelchair!
医院给了他上好的麻♥醉♥药♥啊
Well, they gave him the good stuff.
很高兴你们赶上了祝他好运
Well, glad you got to wish him well.
我们得让他准备接受胆囊手术了
We have to get this guy prepped for his gallbladder surgery.
意思是要给我刮毛了
That means they're gonna shave me.
我们要担心这句话是他的最后遗言吗
Should we be worried that those could be his last words?
我来处理菲尔我们爱你
I got this. Phil, we love you.
我也爱你
I love you, too.
他们要给我刮毛了
They're gonna shave me.
我们尽力了
Well, we tried.
你确定菲尔会没事吗
So you're sure Phil's gonna be okay?
肯定没事宝贝离菲尔去世还早着呢
Absolutely, Pappy. Phil is not gonna die in a long, long time.
我会死吗
Am I going to die?
乔这是件自然的事
Well, Joe, it's a natural thing that we --
停停停
Bup, bup, bup.
你似乎不会温和处理这个话题
This is not a topic you tend to handle gently.
也不怪你
It's not your fault,
你生活中的许多人都不得善终
but many people in your orbit met with ugly ends.
我来处理吧
I'll handle this.
好吧我得去拿派对蛋糕
Fine. I have to pick up the party cake.
一个足球形状的球
It's shaped like a soccer ball.
你确定那不会吓到他们吗
You sure that won't scare them?
因为我只见过他们
'Cause the only thing I've seen them do
飞奔躲开足球
with a soccer ball is run from it.
听着孩子这是个深奥的问题
Look, kid, that's a deep question,
"我有天会死吗"
"Will I die some day?"
我要直接告诉你答案不会
And I'm gonna be straight with you about it -- no.
永远不会吗
Never?
过去人们大概只能活到12岁
A few years back, people would live to be around 12.
现在依靠科技的力量
Nowadays, what with all the science they're doing,
寿命无极限
sky's the limit.
你应对得当有天你就会活到200岁
You play your cards right, and someday you'll be 200,
如果你从你老爸这里学到了东西
and if you learn anything from your old man,
你会挽着一个100岁的美女新娘
you'll have a gorgeous 100-year-old bride on your arm.
女人到了180多岁会开始爱发牢骚
Uh, there will be some squawking from women in their 180s,
但你是个成功人士
but, uh, you're a successful man
你的努力换得了幸福
and you've earned your happiness.
胆囊到底是什么
What is a gallbladder?
是啊这些你都不需要的器官是怎么回事
Yeah, and what's up with these organs you don't even need?
你可以切掉胆囊阑尾
You can lose a gallbladder, an appendix,
啥事都没有
and everything's fine.
是啊就像是丈夫
Yeah, kind of like husbands.
失去一个就再找一个
You lose one, you just get another.
你早些时候是这样说的
That is what you said earlier.
我怎么会料到我会引火上身的呢
Oh, how did I know that was gonna boomerang back on me?
我提起这事不是为了攻击你
I didn't bring it up to attack you.
我只是想知道
I just wondered...
如果我提前归西你想过
have you ever thought about who you'd end up with
你要跟谁在一起吗
if, you know, my show closes early?
我宁愿放弃我的右"胆"囊
I would give my right gallbladder
都不要回答这问题
not to answer this question.
拜托这是个有趣的游戏
Come on, it'll be a fun game.
你不想知道我心里想的是谁吗
Don't you want to know who I'm thinking about?
有点想
I guess.
好吧那就数到三一起说名字
Okay, well, then, let's just say a name on three.
-小卡 -拜托
- Cam. - No, come on.
我觉得我的选择会让你惊讶
I think you'll be surprised by my choice.
准备好了吗
You ready?
一二三
One, two, three...
-凯莱布 -你是我的一切
- Caleb. - You're my everything.
-你诈我 -凯莱布是谁
- Y-You -- You tricked me. - Okay, who's Caleb?
你见过他在乔撒姆的派对上
You -- You met him. At -- At Jotham's party.
那个按♥摩♥师
The -- The massage therapist.
看来他按♥摩♥按到了你心坎儿里
Well, I guess he rubbed you the right way.
小卡拜托
Cam, oh, come on.
我说了名字只是因为你逼我说
I only said a name because you pressured me to.
我就跟他聊过两次天
I've had like two conversations with him.
我选他只是因为他让我想到了你
Look, I-I only picked him because he reminds me of you.
贴心坦率跟我很互补
So sweet and open and such a good balance for me.
我觉得他可能也是
I-I thought he might be, too.
真有爱
Well, then, that's lovely.
谢天谢地我剪了正确的线[炸♥弹♥]
Oh, thank God. I cut the right wire.
胆囊是什么
Okay, what is a gallbladder?
胆囊是
The gallbladder is
"储存胆汁的4英寸梨形器官"
"A 4-inch pear-shaped organ that stores bile."
像是胆汁橱柜
Like -- Like a little bile cabinet.
这就是为什么大家喜欢有我们陪伴
That's why people want us around.
凯莱布
Uh, Caleb.
米奇尔
Hey, Mitchell.
谢谢你这么快就赶来了
Thanks for coming on such short notice.
你可以在电视那边支按♥摩♥床
You can set your table up, uh, down in the TV area.
好没问题
Sounds good. ?You got it.
怎么回事
What's going on?
你能别这么疑神疑鬼吗
Uh, would you stop being so suspicious?
你说拍照摆姿势把你的脖子弄疼了
You said you neck hurt from posing for our photograph...
于是我邀请了凯莱布过来做他的工作
...so I invited Caleb over to ply his trade.
我觉得他不是来工作的
I do not think he's here to ply.
而是方便你"窥探工作"的
I think he's here so you can pry.
爸爸会没事的
Dad's gonna be fine.
既然聊到这事在我的葬礼上
Since we're on the subject, at my funeral,
记得让抬棺人说这些话
make sure the pallbearers say things like,
"她真轻"
"Wow, she's so light,"
"她是不是没被装在棺材里啊"
and things like, "Is she even in here?"
我不想被埋葬我要为科学捐献身躯
I don't want to be buried. I'm donating my body to science.
-你已经算捐了吧 -我要在你棺材里放壶铃增重
- Haven't you already? - I'm putting kettle bells in your coffin.
还得确保我的尸体被捐去常春藤联盟大学
And make sure my cadaver goes to an Ivy League.
我可不想让史瓦兹摩尔学院的宿醉新生
I don't want some hungover freshman from Swarthmore
对我上下其手
getting his hands all over me.
也没那么糟糕啊
Mm. It's not so bad.
我不会死的
I'm never gonna die.
随着科学的发展一切都有治愈办法
Science is gonna find a cure for everything.
外公跟我说的
Grandpa told me that.
快孩子们听着手术熊不在楼上
Quick, kids, hey, listen, Surgery Bear is not upstairs.
知道在哪吗
Any ideas?
对了爸爸把手术熊给乔了
Oh, right, Dad gave it to Joe
那时候他切除了扁桃体
when he got his tonsils taken out.
你可以在我翻卢克的抽屉之前
You could've told me that
告诉我的
before I looked through Luke's drawers.
-哪个抽屉 -我们回头聊这事
- Which drawer?! - We'll get into that later.