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Modern Family S09E08
Part 2
Nov. 26, 2019, 11:02 a.m.
您的第一部剧改变了我对...
Your first play changed the way that I looked at --
听我说 孩子
Look, listen, kid.
我不是来这里收集
I'm not here to collect panties
写着电♥话♥号♥码的内♥裤♥的
with phone numbers on them.
我是来这里体验活着的那种
I'm here to experience the cold absurdity
冷漠荒诞感
that is being alive.
找别人崇拜去吧
So go and find someone else to venerate.
很抱歉打扰你了
Oh, uh... Sorry for bothering you.
给你一条写作小窍门
Here's a writing tip --
让我看到你真为打扰我而感到抱歉
show me you're sorry for bothering me.
而不是光动嘴皮子
Don't tell me.
好了 来为这两个
Okay, let's take a picture
新交的死党拍张合影
of the two new best friends.
靠近点啊
Come together.
我就不该离开我的树
I should never have left my tree.
我还在我们的干洗店看到了
And then, I saw Daniel Day-Lewis
影帝丹尼尔·戴·路易斯
at our dry cleaner.
不是他 真不是
Not him. No.
我们真的看到名人是在
Uh, the time we actually saw a celebrity
去年十二月
was last December
我们去买♥♥园艺用品的时候
when we were shopping for gardening supplies.
我永远不会忘记影帝演的林肯总统
I'll never forget the feeling of having Lincoln
直勾勾地看着我的眼睛 然后说
look directly into my eyes and saying,
"烧烤酱洗不掉"时候的感觉
"We couldn't get the barbecue sauce out."
我们不需要一人有一副
We both don't need a pair.
我们可以共用啊
We can just share these.
如果我想要我自己的呢
And what if I want my own?
我们什么东西都共用啊
We share everything.
我们共用一把牙刷
We share a toothbrush.
-有吗 -我的...我的天哪
- We do? Oh... - Oh, my -- Oh, my gosh.
那个主持我们非常喜欢的
Hm? ?There's the guy who hosts
家居大改造节目的家伙在那里
that home makeover show we love so much.
-什么 在哪儿 -斯科特·亨特
- What? Where? - It's Scott Hunter.
斯科特·亨特在那里
Scott Hunter is right over there.
每一周 斯科特·亨特
Every week, Scott Hunter,
《"花"您一点时间》的主持人
the host of "I Beg Your Garden,"
会在家居店挑选不知情的两口子
selects an unsuspecting couple at a home store.
对 他会拍他们的肩膀 然后说
Yeah, he taps them on the shoulder and says,
"花您一点时间"
"I beg your garden."
什么 我的天啊 真的假的
What?! Oh, my God! I can't believe it!
每次都这样
That's how it goes every time.
每次都是
Every time.
-摄像机在哪里 -我知道
- Where are the cameras? - I know.
要是我今天穿得更艳丽一点就好了
I wish I would've worn something more colorful.
你知道吗
Okay, you know what?
我们一定要上节目
We have to get on the show.
你能想象我们后院被大改造吗
Can you imagine a backyard makeover,
他会怎么改造我们的后院呢
what he would do with ours?
没错 是三个字的
Yeah, one word, three syllables,
开头是"小" 结尾是"凉亭"
starts with "Gah," ends with "zebo."
小凉亭
Gazebo.
-我爱死小凉亭了 -我也是
- I love gazebos. ?- I do, too!
一开始想这个
Now that I'm thinking about it,
我就非得要一个了
I have to have one.
-天哪 -我们工作这么辛苦
- Oh, my gosh. - Wait, we work hard.
当然有权在后院
We deserve to stand in the shade
-离草皮几英寸的地方乘凉 -就是
- a few inches off the ground. - ?Yeah.
这样吧
Okay, you know what?
-我们这就过去让他拍我们肩膀 -好
- Let's go get tapped. ?- Okay.
那是什么东西
Hm, what's over here?
不知道 天啊 米奇尔 你喜欢这个花盆吗
I don't know. Oh, my gosh, Mitchell, do you like this planter?
把这放在我们那个
It would go great
荒芜老气得掉渣的后院里一定不错
in our hopelessly outdated and neglected backyard.
你喜欢我就喜欢
Well, I love it if you love it.
那你觉得这些铺路材料怎么样
And what do you think of these pavers?
我觉得那会跟我们
Oh, I think they go great with that gazebo
梦寐以求的小凉亭很搭的
we've always dreamed of having.
拉倒吧 他走了
Oh, forget it. He's gone.
我们做错什么了 我们很讨喜啊
W-What did we do wrong? We were pleasant.
你猜怎么着 可能是我们太讨喜了
You know what? Maybe we were too nice.
上这些节目的小两口总是各种闹矛盾
Couples on those shows always have conflict.
-我们也是啊 -对啊
- So do we. ?- Yeah.
我们有多久没有达成一致过了
When's the last time we agreed on anything.
我们永远在斗嘴啊
We -- We're constantly bickering.
是啊 虽然斗嘴有时会反应出更深层的东西
I know, sometimes it reveals something deeper,
但并不总是如此
but not always.
来
You know what?
我们去向他展示一下我们
Let's go show him our delightful brand
毒舌得可爱的一面吧
of bitchy friction.
跟我想的完全一样
I was thinking the exact same thing.
-别总是跟我心有灵犀啊 -抱歉抱歉
- Stop seeing eye-to-eye with me. ?- Sorry, sorry.
我们去找他 然后好好大吵一架
Let's go find him and drum up an argument.
这主意太赞了
Yeah, terrific idea.
我不是故意跟你有默契的
I'm not doing it on purpose.
我只是...
I'm just...
我这是怎么了
What is going on?
我的...
My gro --
简直是噩梦
This was a nightmare.
我马上就要见到我的英雄
I was about to meet my hero,
可我那个地方却莫名疼得要死
and I was experiencing this bizarre pain in --
就是 下面那个地方
in my...nether region.
等等 我是个成年男性
Wait, I'm a grown man.
我应该不羞于直呼其名 我左边的蛋袋
I should be able to say it -- my left bean bag --
我又没说出口
did it again.
我的金玉蛋...
My tersticle --
我想我没办法说得更直接了
That's as close as I think I'm gonna get.
有人吗
Hello?
欢迎欢迎欢迎
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
-菲尔 -我是克里斯
- Phil. ?- Hey, I'm Chris.
-你怎么了 -没怎么
- Hey, what's wrong? - Oh, nothing.
你以为我本人会更帅些
You thought I'd be better looking.
人们总这么以为 因为乐队其他人
People think that because the rest of the band
-都长得跟霍比特人似的 -不不不
- look like hobbits. - No, no, no.
只是 我只是有点...
It's -- It's a little --
我喜欢你的花牛仔裤
I love your flower jeans.
你在哪买♥♥的
Where did you get those?
从商店买♥♥的
They're from a store.
特别有我的风格 特别有我的风格
Well, they're very me. They're very me.
你还记得店名吗
Do you remember the name of the store?
其实是我自己绣的
Actually, I embroidered them myself.
真厉害
Impressive.
等你准备好后
When you're ready for it,
你找件T恤 穿在长袖上衣外面
you get a T-shirt, you put it on top of a long-sleeve,
这样大家就知道你有不止一件上衣了
then it lets everybody know you own multiple shirts.
真厉害
Impressive.
伙计 我们要不要这就开搞
So, mate, shall we have a trod-about?
感谢你的抬爱
I'm flattered.
但我觉得我们还是公事公办
I'd rather just keep it professional,
开始看♥房♥♥子吧
have a walk around.
我不是那个意思
Oh, that's not what...I...meant...
特里形单影只坐在那里
Terry was just sitting there by himself
因为人们总是不敢去和最漂亮的姑娘搭讪
because everybody's always afraid to talk to the prettiest girl,
除了这位
except this guy.
自信是关键
It's all about confidence.
打扰一下 布...
Excuse me, Mr. --
打扰一下 布拉德肖先生
Excuse me, Mr. Bradshaw.
杰·普里契特 三号♥陪审员
Jay Pritchett, juror number 3.
特里 叫我特里就行
Terry. Call me Terry.
-你好吗 特里 -挺好的 你呢
- How you doing, Terry? - Hi. Good. You?
关于这起抢劫案
Hey, this robbery case, huh?
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