生活大爆炸

The Big Bang Theory S11E23

Part 1 Oct. 8, 2019, 10:36 a.m.

这是不对的
That's not right.
你这人根本不讲理呀
That's so unreasonable.
如果你要这样做
Yeah, well, if you're going to be like this,
那我也不想跟你说话了
then I don't want to talk to you right now, either.
好吧爱你拜拜
Okay. I love you. Bye.
在和亚马逊客服讲话吗
Amazon customer support?
不是我妈
No, my mother.
你猜她非要我们邀请谁来参加婚礼
Guess who she's insisting we invite to our wedding.
耶稣吗
Jesus?
是就好了
If only.
是我哥哥
My brother.
等等你没邀请你哥来参加婚礼吗
Wait a minute. You didn't invite your brother to your own wedding?
我的整个童年都是在他的淫♥威♥下度过的
He tormented me my whole childhood.
这样的行为怎么能配获得
I don't think I should reward that type of behavior
吃上一块千年隼形状结婚蛋糕的机会呢
with a slice of wedding cake in the shape of the Millennium Falcon.
你再说一遍
Try again.
一块蛋糕形状的结婚蛋糕
A slice of wedding cake in the shape of a cake.
也许他小时候对你坏了点
Look, he may have been mean to you when you were kids,
但你俩现在都是成年人了
but you're both grown men now.
没错我成年了
That's right. I'm a grown-up,
如果我不想让他参加我婚礼我就不用邀请他
and if I don't want to invite him to my wedding, then I won't.
好吧
Okay.
可我不得不邀请因为我妈咪逼我做
Except I have to 'cause my mommy's making me.
每个迎宾礼袋中含有一张婚礼时间表
Okay, so each welcome bag gets a schedule of events,
一份地图和我送的巧克力
a map, and chocolate from me.
谢尔顿送的一瓶免冲洗手液
And from Sheldon, a bottle of Purell...
以及如果有人误喝了洗手液
...the number for Poison Control in case someone
需要拨♥打♥的毒物控制中心电♥话♥
accidentally drinks the Purell,
以及一张压膜的元素周期表
and a laminated table of elements
因为美国的教学体系就是垃圾
because the American school system is a failure.
有多少客人是从外地来的
How many out-of-town guests are there gonna be?
我还真不知道
I'm actually not sure.
我才发现谢尔顿没有邀请他哥哥
Turns out Sheldon didn't invite his brother.
现在开始有婚礼的感觉了
Mm. Now it's starting to sound like a wedding.
如果他哥不来他妈也不肯来了
And his mom said she won't come if his brother's not there.
现在开始有完美婚礼的感觉了
Ooh, now it's starting to sound like a good wedding.
妮妮
Hey, Bernie.
红眼病的症状是什么来着
How do you know if someone has pink eye?
眼睛发红变肿还有分泌物
Um, their eye would be red, swollen and probably oozy.
好的谢谢
Okay, thanks.
咱家俩娃都得了红眼病
Both kids have pink eye.
不会吧
Oh, no.
你站着别动
You stop right there.
我下周就要结婚了
I'm getting married in a week;
你可不能把红眼病传染给我
you are not giving me pink eye.
我又没得红眼病
I don't have pink eye.
慢着慢着慢着
Hey! Hey. Hey.
别靠近新娘
Step away from the bride.
好那我回楼上去了
Okay. I'll go back upstairs.
赶紧去冲澡然后把这身衣服都烧了
Get in the shower and then take those clothes and burn them.
没错把你其他衣服一起烧了
Yeah, and all the rest of your clothes!
值得一试嘛
Ah, worth a shot.
我是不是谢尔顿婚礼上唯一单身的人
So am I gonna be, like, the only single guy at Sheldon's wedding?
不
No.
还有好多单身人士在呢
There-There'll be a lot of single people there.
斯图尔特艾米的姑姥姥
Stuart, Amy's great-aunt...
不过斯图尔特加她脸书好友了
Although, Stuart's already friended her on Facebook,
所以你最好抓紧动作
so, better move quick.
我必须找个伴了
I got to find a date.
我才不想做被众人报以同情目光的
I don't want to be that sad single friend
可怜单身狗
that everyone looks at with pity.
我想这已经是无法挽回的事实了
Uh, I'm-I'm afraid that ship may have sailed.
莱纳德
Leonard,
你也有哥哥对吧
you have a brother, right?
对
Yes.
他是不是特烦人
Is he the worst?
是不是可恶到令人发指
Is he an unspeakable abomination?
是不是一想到他就让你毛骨悚然
Does the very thought of him make your skin crawl?
他除了会说完笑话自己笑之外
Well, he laughs at his own jokes,
其他方面还算不错啦
but otherwise he's okay.
谢尔顿你怎么了
Sheldon, what's going on?
我要邀请我那个傻大哥来参加婚礼
I'm trying to invite my stupid brother to my wedding
可他故意不接我电♥话♥
and he's avoiding my calls.
你怎么知道他故意不接你电♥话♥
You don't know he's avoiding your calls.
你好我是乔治·库珀
Hey, you've reached George Cooper.
有事请留言但如果你是谢尔顿
Please leave a message, unless this is Sheldon again,
那么请拨♥打♥我的另一个号♥码
in which case, please try me on my other number,
1-800-去死-吧
1-800-suck-it.
听到没
See?
我知道那号♥码是假的
And I know that's not a real number
谁会给自己弄个免费专线呀
because why would it be toll-free?
谢尔顿你尝试过了
Sheldon, you tried.
你也没有其他办法了
What more could you have done?
你为什么一开始不邀请他呢
Hey, why didn't you invite him in the first place?
你不懂和他一起长大的恐怖体验
You don't know what it was like growing up with him.
我懂我兄弟多着呢
I get it; I grew up with lots of brothers.
我哥阿杜特就特别坏
My brother Adoot was especially mean.
真的吗我从没听你说过阿杜特
Really? I've never heard you mention Adoot.
我当然说过
Yeah, sure I have.
小时候他忘了关门
He's the one who left the door open when we were kids,
害我的宠物猫鼬跑掉了
and my pet mongoose ran away.
白♥痴♥阿杜特
Stupid Adoot.
除了搭飞机亲自去找他
Look, uh, short of getting on a plane and flying there,
你妈还指望你怎么做呢
what does your mother expect you to do?
我一直在说我不要
I kept saying no.
我怎么就坐上来了呢
H-H-How am I here?
我告诉你没
Hey, did I tell you?
-我找到个伴了 -去参加婚礼吗
- I found a date. - ‭To the wedding?
不去喝咖啡
Uh, to coffee.
但如果进行顺利谢尔顿和艾米的婚礼上见
But if things go well, Sheldon and Amy's wedding.
你不会担心邀请一个
Aren't you worried it's a little intense
刚认识的人参加婚礼会把人逼得太紧吗
to ask someone you just met to go to a wedding?
我时间要不够了
I'm running out of time.
怎么没人开♥发♥一种服务
Wh-Wh-Why can't there be a service where you can
可以付钱请人假装当一晚你的伴侣呢
just pay someone to be your date for the evening?
就像三陪服务吗
Like an escort service?
不不不不是付钱和她上♥床♥
No, no, no. Y-You wouldn't be paying for sex.
虽然如果进展顺利
I mean, obviously if things went well,
那自然会上♥床♥ 但你主要是付钱请她
it could lead to sex, but, but the money is for,
花时间陪伴你
like, you know, her time and companionship.
我明白了
Oh, I get it...
三陪服务
an escort service.
别再这么说了
Stop saying that.
别再不谋而合了
Stop meaning it.
拉杰还记得你那天
Hey, Raj, remember when you borrowed
借走我的虚拟实境眼镜吗
my VR goggles the other day?
记得
Yeah.
真不是个好主意啊
Probably shouldn't have done that.
等等你哥就是轮胎医生吗
So, wait, y-your brother is Dr. Tire?
是的而且呢
Yes, and, apparently,
只需要读半学期的社区大学
it only takes half a semester of community college
就能得到这个医生文凭
to get that particular doctorate.
我们一路上经过了三家分店呢
We passed three of these stores on the way here.
你为什么会说他是"卖♥♥轮胎的废柴"
Why did you say he's just "some loser who sells tires"?
你说得对我那话有失公允
You're right, that was unfair.
他是全德州轮胎销♥售♥量最高的废柴
He's a loser who sells more tires than anyone in Texas.
打扰了
Oh, excuse me.
我们想找小乔治·库珀
Uh, we're looking for a Georgie Cooper.
稍等片刻我去看一下医生在不在
One second, I'll check to see if the doctor's in.
他才不是医生
He is not a doctor.