生活大爆炸

The Big Bang Theory S11E12

Part 2 Oct. 8, 2019, 10:36 a.m.

算了我来处理吧
You know what? I'll take care of it.
我是霍华德·沃罗威茨
没给我们炒饭
胖子印度朋友不高兴了
谢谢
搞定了
Done.
你没把人家骂哭吧
You didn't make him feel bad, did you?
其实他听完还在笑呢
Actually, he was laughing.
霍华德我为你的处理感到由衷敬佩
I'm really impressed at how you handled that, Howard.
没什么啦
Please.
我这一生退了不知道多少食物
I've been sending food back my entire life.
我最先说出的其中一句完整句子是
One of my first full sentences was,
"人家早餐就吃过母奶了"
"I had breast milk for breakfast""
抱歉咱们开动之前
Excuse me, b-before we start eating,
我想先来一段致辞
I-I would like to make a toast.
-好呀 -说吧
- Oh, nice. - ‭Oh, nice.
可我想不出来说什么
If only I could think of one.
你们哪位来说吧
Someone else go.
这是你要的针线包
Hey. Here's the sewing kit you asked for.
只花了1分钟19秒
Ooh! A minute, 19.
速度惊人
Quick.
你在给我计时吗
You were timing me?
没错我最近特别沉迷于计时
Yes. I am going through a bit of a timing phase.
这个爱好会持续多久呢
How long will it last?
让我们开始计时吧
We'll find out.
你要针线包干什么
What did you need the kit for?
那个...
Oh, um...
谢尔顿深蹲去捡叉子
Sh-Sheldon was squatting down to pick up a fork
把裤子撕破了
and he ripped his pants.
某人明天要肌肉酸痛啦
Oh, someone's gonna be sore tomorrow.
脑子转得很快
Oh, quick thinking.
如果你以后还要撒谎
But for future lies,
我最多只能"浅蹲"到这里
this is as far as I can squat.
佩妮找到针线包得20分
Penny gets 20 points for the sewing kit.
还得减5分
Yeah, minus five,
因为这是我的针线包
because this is mine.
那她也是遥遥领先呀
Well, she's still pulling a commanding lead.
博纳黛特有给我们送来针线包吗
Did Bernadette even try to send us a sewing kit?
送了亚马逊标准配送
She did. Amazon, standard shipping,
连金牌配送都不是
not even Prime. ‭
那我们自己也能买♥♥
We could've done that ourselves.
她就是这样说的
That's what she said.
也许我们太守旧了
Maybe we're being old-fashioned,
非要用性别来约束这两个角色
defining these roles by gender.
你知道在历史上
You know, historically, the best man's role
伴郎的任务就是在战斗中保护新娘新郎
was to defend the bride and groom in combat.
如果这不选佩妮来做
I mean, if that's not Penny,
那我们根本就是在搞笑啊
I don't know what we're doing here.
我懂你意思
I see your point.
好吧那我们同时开启伴男
Okay, we are officially open to a best woman
和伴女的选拔
and a gentleman of honor.
这些名字真难听
Oh, those names are terrible.
给你减一分
One point off for you.
你给我计分干什么
What am I being tested for?
这不重要但如果你没通过
Oh, it's not important. But if you don't pass,
现在做的这些也用不上了
none of this matters.
下一项测试是什么
Okay, what's the next test?
忠诚度
Loyalty.
我们得选一个靠得住的人
We need to choose someone who has our backs,
能保密的人甚至要帮我们瞒住彼此
someone who will keep our secrets even from each other.
我对你没有任何秘密啊
Well, I don't have any secrets from you.
你有秘密瞒着我吗
Do you have secrets from me?
当然有
Yes.
这件事压在我心头上好久了
Oh, that has been weighing on me for years.
快过来抱抱
Come here.
你觉得自己算是个忠诚可靠的朋友吗
Would you call yourself a loyal and trustworthy friend?
我是呀
Yeah, I like to think so. ‭
太好了因为我要给你讲一件霍华德的事
Great. Because I need to tell you something about Howard,
但你不能告诉他是我说的
but you can't tell him that I told you.
别不想听
Nope. Don't want to hear it.
我一点也不想听八卦
Do not like to engage in gossip.
好吧我敬佩你的人品
Okay. I respect your integrity.
是不是关于他那条特殊内♥裤♥的
Is it about his special underwear?
因为我早就知道了我只说这么多
Because I already know. And that's all I'll say.
好啦里面有个木炭屁味过滤器
Fine, it has a charcoal filter in it.
你能过来陪我真是太有心了
It's really sweet of you to come by and keep me company.
我也这么认为
Agreed. Uh...
听着我有个秘密
So, listen, I have a secret
很想跟人分享
that I need to tell someone.
但你绝对不能说出去
But you can never say a word.
哪怕对霍华德也不能说
Not even to Howard.
没问题告诉我吧
I'm your girl. Lay it on me.
真的吗
Really?
你对你老公也有保留秘密吗
You keep things from your husband?
不我什么都告诉他
No, I tell him everything.
你别傻了
Don't be a child.
好吧告诉你
Okay. Here it is.
我可以通过手♥机♥操控
I can control the thermostat
莱纳德公♥寓♥的恒温器
in Leonard's apartment with my phone.
当他惹我生气时
And when he makes me mad,
我就把温度稍微上调几度
I turn it up, slightly.
我都不知道你来了
Oh, hey. I didn't know you were here.
你们俩在聊什么呀
What are you two talking about?
真心没任何意义的事
Literally, nothing interesting.
你真会保守
Oh, you're good.
接下来准时到达典礼
Okay, getting to the ceremony on time.
莱纳德快点你得在一个小时内
Leonard, quick. I need you to get me
把我送到亚凯迪亚
to Arcadia within the hour.
火车模型商店正在大打折
The train store's having a sale.
艾米为什么不送你去
Why can't Amy drive you?
因为按传统来说在火车模型商店打折那天
Because of the tradition that I cannot see Amy
我不能和艾米碰面[应是婚礼前]
on the day of the train store sale.
拜托你去看看医生好不好
Please, please see a doctor.
-下一项测试 -先等一下
- Next test. - ‭Just wait one second.
是不是有点变热啊
Is it getting hot in here?
抱歉我们说到哪儿了
I'm sorry. Where were we?
我们的朋友是否了解我们
How well do our friends know us?
我给我最爱的阿姨打电♥话♥...
So I was talking to my favorite aunt...
多伊阿姨对吧
Aunt Doe, right?
完全正确
Exactly.
她最后弄清楚膝盖上的东西是什么了吗
Did she ever figure out what that thing on her knee was?
后来发现是巧克力碎
Turns out it was a chocolate chip.
很有可能她很喜欢烘焙
Hmm. Makes sense, she does like to bake.
没错哇你真是种子选手
Yes, she does. Damn, you are a thoroughbred.
处理婚礼前的怯场情绪
You know, dealing with cold feet
也是伴娘伴郎的重要任务之一
is an important part of being both best man and maid of honor.
也许我们应该测试一下这项能力
Maybe we should test for that ability.
你真的觉得自己会怯场吗
You really think you might get cold feet?
其实我是在说你
Actually, I was talking about you.
艾米
Amy...
如果这世上我只坚信一件事
if there's one thing in this world I'm sure of,
那就是你的担心是对的
you are right to be worried.
晚安
Good night.
霍华德
Howard.
我看上了这个限♥量♥版的沼泽怪物
I've had my eye on this limited edition Swamp Thing,
但我在下单之前
but now that I'm about to buy it,
我又有点犹豫了你怎么看
I'm having second thoughts. What do you think?
我不知道啊谢尔顿这玩意挺贵的
I don't know, Sheldon, it's pretty expensive.
没错但是如果它让我开心呢
Yes, but what if it will make me happy, you know,
余生每天清晨起来都能看到它在我枕边
waking up and seeing it every morning for the rest of my life?
真的吗一个会走路的烂沼泽草吗
Really, a walking clump of swamp grass?
伯纳黛特也没多好好吗
Yeah, well, Bernadette's no prize either!