生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S11E12
Part 1
Oct. 8, 2019, 10:36 a.m.
你能帮我一个忙吗
Hey, can you do me a favor?
我们可以尽量避免跟我们的朋友
Can we try to avoid talking to our friends tonight
聊到婚礼计划的事吗
about our wedding plans?
我可以帮你更大的忙
I'll do you one better.
我会完全不跟他们说话
I'll avoid talking to our friends entirely
只低头玩手♥机♥
and play on my phone.
因为我还没选出谁当伴娘
It's just, I haven't picked a maid of honor yet,
要从佩妮或伯纳黛特中选一个实在太难
and I'm having trouble deciding between Penny and Bernadette.
能理解
Ah, understandable.
她们型很像
They are quite similar--
都是金发的前服务员 而且都嫁得不好
both blonde former waitresses who married beneath them.
佩妮是我的死党
Penny is my best friend,
但我当了伯纳黛特的伴娘
but I was Bernadette's maid of honor,
我想她会觉得我理应回邀
and I think she kind of expects it.
所以如果今晚有人提起这话题
So if anyone brings it up tonight,
或许你可以帮忙我改变一下话题
just maybe you can help me change the subject.
这样吧
How about this?
我强行主导所有话题
I dominate the conversation so hard,
让别人连插嘴的机会都没有
no one has a chance to get a word in edgewise.
这招嘛...
I don't know.
我觉得他们已经司空见惯了
They might see that coming.
那我们用个暗语如何
What if we have a code word?
这就是我的"游艇"了
Ooh, now you're speaking my catamaran.
那是我"强项"的暗语
That's my code word for "language."
行吧 游艇
Okay, fine, catamaran.
这就是我们的暗语
That's our code word.
不行 那是我的暗语 你自己想一个
No, that's my code word. Get your own.
行吧 椒盐脆饼干
Okay. Uh, pretzels.
你听到我说椒盐脆饼干 你就转换话题
You hear me say pretzels, you change the subject.
动物园里我最不喜欢的动物是犀牛
Rhinos are my least favorite animals at the zoo.
你说什么
What?
抱歉 我还以为你刚才要我换话题了
Oh, I'm sorry. I thought we started.
帮我扶好 等我把它拧进去
Hey, just-just hold the gate still while I screw it in.
我不知道该对你们
You know, I don't know how I feel
搞婴儿保护措施作何感想
about all this baby-proofing.
如果哈雷不能自学怎么走下楼梯
If Halley can't teach herself to walk down the stairs,
或许这是大自然在说
then maybe that's nature's way of saying
沃罗威茨家到此终结
the Wolowitz line ends here.
有意思 我一直以为
That's funny. I always thought
霍华德才是大自然在说
Howard was nature's way of saying
沃罗威茨家到此终结的作品
the Wolowitz line ends here.
我也以为 但柳暗花明又一村
Me, too, but life does find a way!
哈雷够不着酒柜的啊
Hey, Halley can't reach the liquor cabinet.
你们为什么也做了婴儿保护
Why did you baby-proof it?
那你怎么发现我们做了的
How did you know we did?
有道理
Fair point.
伯纳黛特还在炸毛吗
Bernadette still going stir-crazy?
有一点吧
Oh, a little.
卧床休养了两个月 的确是挺难熬
Two months of bed rest-- it's kind of rough.
是吗 感觉很爽啊 我怎么能有这待遇
Really? That sounds great. How do I get that?
你得摔伤屁♥股♥ 或让霍华德搞大你肚子
You'd either have to break your hip or let Howard knock you up.
但无论是哪一种 你隔天早上都能收到花
Now, either way, you'll get flowers the next morning.
但其实她也没闲着
She's actually been keeping herself busy
一直忙着为你研究婚礼的事呢
doing wedding research for you.
她不需要这样的啦
Oh, she-she doesn't have to do that.
她自愿的 毕竟你当过她的伴娘
She wants to. After all, you were her maid of honor.
谢尔顿 说说那个椒盐脆饼干的趣事
Sheldon, tell your funny story about pretzels.
对对 是的
Oh, right. Yeah, oh, yeah.
你们知道我们在考虑
Did you know that we've been thinking
婚礼上准备椒盐脆饼干吗
of having pretzels at our wedding? Hmm?
不不不不不不 抱歉
No, no. No, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry.
是犀牛 我们婚礼上要弄只犀牛
No, rhinos. We're having rhinos at our wedding.
不对 我得走了
No! I got to go.
谁来帮帮我
I'm gonna need some help.
有人把前门也做了婴儿保护措施
Someone baby-proofed the front door.
谢尔顿 我伴娘的事该怎么办啊
Sheldon, what am I gonna do about my maid of honor?
伯纳黛特还给了我那么多婚礼杂♥志♥
I mean, Bernadette gave me all these bridal magazines.
她还把有好看礼服的页面折了角
She even folded down the pages with the good dresses.
我懂
I get it.
莱纳德也曾借过我的《艾德蒙科学玩意》目录
You know, Leonard once borrowed my Edmund Scientific catalogue
还给一些页面折了角
and dog-eared some pages.
再也没折回去过
Never got 'em straight again.
这两件事还"差不多"啊
Well, that is exactly the same thing.
你"完全理解"我的困难呢
You really understand my dilemma.
其实我还真了解
Actually, I do.
我妈妈想要我让我哥
My mother is pushing for my brother,
小乔治来当我的伴郎
Georgie, to be my best man,
我不愿意 但也不想再拒绝她
and I hate to disappoint her again.
我已经拒绝了她的救主 以及领英网邀请了
I already rejected her savior and her LinkedIn invitation.
我们怎么样才能做出
How are we gonna make these decisions
不让任何人不开心的决定呢
without anybody getting upset?
如果我们把私人感情抛开
Well, what if we take emotion out of the process,
而是用实验表现来打分呢
and base it on empirical metrics?
这样做决定的不会是我们
Then we aren't really making the decision;
而是数据
the data is.
所以我们可以不为
So we can hurt our friends' feelings
伤朋友们的心负任何责任吗
without taking any responsibility?
老娘喜欢
Me likey.
但是我们怎么才能把客观的测量
But how do we apply quantitative metrics
用在选择婚宴这种主观的事情上呢
to something as subjective as choosing a wedding party?
那个决定只是看似主观而已
That decision only seems subjective.
但实际上
In reality,
婚宴上的人都有着十分明确的功用
people in a wedding party perform very specific functions,
而某些人的发挥就是会比别人强
and some will perform those better than others.
-如果我能用超级英雄来比喻 -不能
- If I may use a superhero analogy... - You may not.
行 那我用真人
Okay, I'll use real people.
如果我们需要狗般忠心之人
Um, if a certain dog-like loyalty is useful,
那莱纳德就是最佳人选
then it's Leonard, hmm?
如果需要在糖果盒里
If, uh, having a PEZ dispenser
装满抗胃酸咀嚼片 那沃罗威茨胜出
filled with TUMS is an advantage, Wolowitz, yeah.
如果伴郎的卡车必须要有
If a best man with fake testicles hanging
假阴囊吊在后面
from his truck is important,
那我哥哥就又能进入候选名单了
well, then, my brother's back in the running.
好吧 我懂你的意思了
Okay, I see your point.
所以我们把每个职责
So we break down each of the roles
需要负责的项目拆分开来
into their component parts,
然后为它们设计专门的测量项目
and then design specialized tests for each.
正是如此 妈呀
Exactly. Boy,
要是我以前知道婚礼能有那么多科学
if I had known getting married was going to involve so much science,
我早就跟你求婚了
I'd have proposed years ago.
莱纳德 跟大家说说你的新鲜事
So Leonard, tell everyone your news.
我开始了一本书
Oh, oh, I'm starting a book.
看书对佩妮来说才是大事吧
That would be big news from Penny,
但你以前应该已经读过书了啊
but you've read a book before.
他的意思是写书
He means he's writing a book.
是啊 这件事我想做很久了
I do. It's something I've been thinking about for a long time.
是在讲一个很聪明的物理学家
Yeah. It's about a brilliant physicist
用科学破案
who solves crimes using science.
莱纳德...
Oh, Leonard...
不是在写你
It's not about you.
估计是怕侵权才这么说
He probably has to say that for legal reasons.
它们给成了白饭而不是炒饭
They gave us plain rice instead of fried rice.
这怎么可以
Well, no fair!
我今早才骑了健身脚踏车
I SoulCycled this morning.
一碗油腻腻的饭是我应得的
I'm entitled to a pile of fat rice.
要我说 这算是餐饮出状况啊
Well, I would say that this constitutes a catering crisis.
我同意 谁会挺身而出来解决呢
I agree. Who's gonna step up and handle it?
无所谓啦 这也还行啊
Doesn't matter. This is fine.
佩妮
Penny?
啥
What?
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