生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S11E10
Part 2
Oct. 8, 2019, 10:35 a.m.
你们不会想听这个的 抱歉啦
You guys don't want to hear about this. I'm sorry.
别再道歉了好吗
Stop apologizing!
天啊
Oh, my God!
你说的简直跟面试那女士一样
You sound just like the woman at the interview!
你有想过去跟
Have you ever thought about talking
什么心理医生之类的谈这事吗
to some kind of therapist about all this?
或许吧
Ugh. Maybe.
莱纳德 你觉得你母亲会有空吗
Hey, Leonard, do you think your mom would be available?
你不会想找她谈的
Yeah, you don't want to do that.
想跟我妈聊天来得到信心
Talking to my mom to get more confidence
就跟去找阎王聊天来得到生存感一样
is like talking to a lion to get more alive.
我爸爸觉得
Well, my dad thinks
是因为霍华德总吐槽我害的
it's because Howard's always making fun of me.
这话有道理
Well, that makes sense.
你说这话有道理是什么意思
Well, what do you mean, that makes sense?
霍华德的确常常吐槽他
Well, Howard does make fun of him a lot.
那也不全是霍华德的错啊
Well, that's not all Howard's fault.
要是拉杰不想被吐槽 那我...
I mean, if Raj doesn't want to be made fun of, then I...
我不知道要怎么礼貌地结束这句话
Hmm. I don't know a nice way to finish this sentence.
这么说你站在他那边
Well, so you're on his side?
我只是说
I'm just saying,
朋友之间就是这样 互相怼的啊
that's what friends do. You know, they bust on each other.
那些话并不代表什么啊
It doesn't mean anything.
我不意外你这么想
Well, I'm not surprised you think so.
为什么
Why is that?
你对我也挺毒舌的
Well, you can be kind of mean to me.
那是因为你是...
Well, that's because you're...
这句话我也不知道该怎么收尾
Wow. I don't know how to finish that sentence, either.
你知道吗 我们俩都受够了不被尊重
You know what? I think we're both done being disrespected.
我还能再承受几轮羞辱
I got a few rounds left in me.
英勇的好小伙
Attaboy, champ.
看看目前我们都有什么了
Okay, let's see what we've got so far.
我坐在美剧《草原小屋》风的马车上入场
I arrive in a Little House on the Prairie style horse-drawn buggy.
再由《星球大战》暴风兵仪仗队员迎接
Where you are met with an honor guard of stormtroopers.
你会不会觉得有点风格不搭
Do you think that might be jarring,
从健康的拓荒者跳到太空纳粹
going from wholesome pioneers to space Nazis?
我懂你意思了
I see what you're saying.
你在想 你入场时应该乘坐
You're thinking that you should arrive
仿制的《星球大战》卢克·天行者的陆行艇
in a replica of Luke Skywalker's landspeeder.
我不是在想这个
It's not what I'm thinking,
顺便帮你省去以后的麻烦
and to save you the trouble for the future,
我此生都不会有这想法
it will never be what I'm thinking.
如果迎宾员对你那么重要
Well... if the ushers are so important to you,
那我们做笔交易如何
what if I propose a trade?
让你选迎宾员 而第一支舞就由我来决定
You may pick that, and I will decide, say, first dance.
好极了 那迎宾员就由
Great. Then the ushers will be...
我穿上拓荒者双排扣长外套的表妹们担当
my cousins dressed in frontier frock coats.
那第一支舞就 不跳了
And the first dance will be that we won't have one.
好吧 那我们的
All right. Then our...
第二支舞就变成第一支舞了
second dance will be the first dance.
我们取消跳舞环节就行啦
Unless we have no dance at all.
呵呵
Ha-ha.
如果要做出改变
Well, if we're changing things,
那我们不要扔彩纸屑
then instead of throwing confetti,
改成放蝴蝶吧
we'll release butterflies.
空中乱飞的虫子 你疯了吗
Airborne worms?! Have you lost your mind?!
如果你要这么做
Well, if you're going to do that,
我就把证婚人换成
then I am changing the officiant to that
常在中国剧院出没的大只佬蜘蛛侠
husky Spider-Man that hangs out at the Chinese Theater.
行啊 婚礼祝酒词换成拉丁语的
Fine. Wedding toasts in Latin.
好极了 婚誓用克林贡语说
Great. Vows in Klingon.
那我要把女花童换成狗
Then I'm changing the flower girl to a dog.
你猜这下他不撒花瓣 而是撒什么
And guess what he'll be scattering instead of petals!
想去吃午饭吗
Want to grab some lunch?
你猜怎么着 不去
You know what? I don't think so.
我来猜猜看 你不吃饭
Well, let me guess. You're not eating
是因为刻薄女们用笔把你胖的部位圈出来了
because the mean girls circled your chubby bits in marker?
不 是这个 你刚才说的这个 这就是原因
No. That. That right there. That's the reason.
你总是在取笑我
You're always making fun of me.
那些都是玩笑话而已
Oh, those are just jokes.
我用这种方式来表达我们是朋友
It's my way of saying that we're friends,
再说你减个几斤又不会死
and it wouldn't hurt you to drop a few!
看到没 难怪我没自信
See? No wonder I don't have any confidence.
不是吧 这怎么能怪在我头上
Come on. You can't blame that on me.
为什么不能 15年来你不断地奚落我
Why not? 15 years of constant ridicule.
我觉得我们的关系已经变得有毒了
I-I think our relationship has become toxic.
你这是什么意思
Uh, what are you saying?
我觉得我们需要分开一段时间
I think you and I need to spend some time away from each other.
听着 我看得出你不开心 但是...
Look, I... I can see you're upset, but...
我需要知道一些基本规则
I'm gonna need some ground rules. I mean,
分开期间 我能否约其他缠人的印度男
while we're apart, can I see other needy Indian men?
滚出去
Get out!
你们觉得哪个会毁掉艾米心中的婚礼
What do you think will make the wedding worse for Amy:
把结婚蛋糕从甜的改成咸的
a cake made with salt instead of sugar...
还是把蛋糕的糖霜改成凝固的肉汁
...or a cake iced with congealed gravy?
这是陷阱答案
That is a trick question.
正解是 你当新郎
The answer is: you as the groom.
不会真的做刚才说的蛋糕
Neither of them will be the actual cake.
我只是用这个来要挟
I'm just using it as a bargaining chip
逼艾米同意 让每个宾客都得到一枚戒指
to get Amy to agree to the whole wedding party getting rings
我们则得到一枚可以统治他们的至尊戒
and us getting one ring to rule them all.
我忘了 你俩是住在哪间精神病院来着
I forget, which mental hospital are you guys registered at?
大家好
Hello.
-你们好啊 -好啊
- Hello. - Hello.
不是吧你
Really?
你不坐这一桌吗
You're not gonna sit here?
等你走了 我就过去坐
I'll sit there as soon as you leave.
你还没气完吗 我道过歉了
You're still on this? I said sorry.
道歉也不能弥补多年来对我的精神虐待
Well, "sorry" doesn't make up for years of emotional abuse.
那你要怎样才不气了
Well, what's it gonna take?
我分半个三明治给你行吗
You want half my sandwich?
这是什么情况
What is going on?
拉杰试图把他可悲的人生怪到我头上
Raj is trying to blame me for his pathetic life.
他的生活才不可悲
His life isn't pathetic.
他能独占一整张桌子不用跟别人分呢
He's got that whole table to himself.
我俩应该有一个过去陪拉杰坐
One of us should go sit with Raj so he's not alone.
但我还没说完我的婚礼复仇计划呢
But I'm not done telling you about my wedding revenge plans.
也对 继续说吧
You're right. Go on.
好咧 首先我要尝试
Okay, well, first, I'm going to try
让艾米跟我换餐前冷盘的选择权
to get Amy to trade with me for hors d'oeuvres...
太好了 你在家
Oh, good, you're here.
我已经决定了餐桌中♥央♥的摆饰
I've decided on our centerpieces.
希望你的家人不会对石棉过敏
I just hope your family isn't allergic to asbestos.
谢尔顿 拜托你住手吧
Sheldon, please stop.
再这样下去 到时的婚礼
If we keep doing this, we're gonna end up with a wedding
我们两人都不会喜欢的
that neither one of us will enjoy.
你意思是你不想结婚了吗
Are you saying you don't want to get married?
不 我当然想结
No, of course I do.
但我们能意见一致的部分 也就仅此而已了
But that seems to be the one thing we can agree on.
也许我们去市政厅登记一下就好了
Maybe we should just get married at City Hall
不安排婚礼那些的了
and forget about everything else.
市政厅
City Hall, hmm.
我确实喜欢金属探测器
I do like metal detectors
和许可被拒绝时的响声
and the sound of permits being denied.
对啊
Right.
如果我们根本不享受计划过程
And if we're not enjoying planning this wedding,
那办婚礼还有什么意义呢
then what's the point?
从历史上来讲 婚礼是为了
Well, historically, a wedding was to let
让其他潜在追求者知道 我们有主了
other potential suitors know that we're unavailable.
但我觉得上面印着
But I think matching T-shirts that say
生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory
剧集 | 生活大爆炸 | 导航列表