生活大爆炸

The Big Bang Theory S11E01

Part 3 Oct. 8, 2019, 10:35 a.m.

怎么你是综艺节目《今夜娱乐》的人吗
What are you, Entertainment Tonight?
这样吧
You know what?
我来给你提供一个更好的问题听着
Let me give you a better question. Here,
"库珀博士
um, "Dr. Cooper,
听说你正在为美国♥军♥方
I heard you were working on a top-secret project
研究一个机密项目
for the U.S. Military.
不如跟我们说说这个吧"
Why don't you tell us about that?"
这才是个好问题
See, that's a great question.
好吧那项目怎么样
Okay, what was that like?
我不能告诉你那可是最高机密
Oh, I can't tell you that, it's top-secret.
刚才好心累
Boy, that was exhausting.
无意冒犯但你的同事很无礼
You know, no offense, but your colleagues were pretty rude.
是吗是他们无礼吗
Really, they were rude?
是啊
Yes.
他们只会一直说你的事说你有多了不起
They just kept talking about you and how great you are,
完全无视我多次提起我自己
no matter how many times I brought me up.
他们是我的同事
You know, these are my colleagues
想谈论我的工作成果
and they want to talk about my work.
这有什么好让你不爽的
Why does that bother you so much?
因为我也在场啊
Because I was there.
就像请《变形金刚》的擎天柱来吃饭
It's like having Optimus Prime over to dinner
却不叫他变身卡车一样
and not asking him to turn into a truck.
你知道吗谢尔顿
You know what, Sheldon?
你并非永远都是房♥间里最聪明的人
You're not always the smartest person in every room.
你很可能都不是这房♥间里最聪明的人
You may not even be the smartest person in this room.
不好意思
Oh, I am sorry.
难道尼尔·德格拉塞·泰森躲在沙发后面吗
What, is Neil deGrasse Tyson hiding behind the couch?
如果真是也只证明了他也没多聪明
'Cause if he is, he's not that smart,
因为后面挺多灰的
it's pretty dusty back there.
你要去哪里
Hey, where are you going?
我要气冲冲地回我的房♥间
I'm storming off to my room.
那我能气冲冲地走去哪儿
Well, then where am I supposed to storm off to?
你那么聪明怎么不自己想
Well, you're so smart, why don't you figure it out?
还有其他卧室吗
Is there another bedroom?
或者小房♥间之类的
Perhaps a-a den?
你们对你子♥宫♥里那个新事件
So, how are you guys doing with all the new
适应得怎么样
events in your womb?
挺好的
Good, you know?
显然这是个意外惊喜
Obviously, it was a surprise.
发生了一些哭泣和争吵
There was some crying and some yelling.
有些打和好炮的提议被拒绝了
Some suggestion of make-up sex that did not go over well,
即使我们并不会怀上加怀
even though it's not like we can get more pregnant.
但我们意识到这是一份礼物
But then we realized that it's a gift, in the sense
虽然我们没有主动要求
that we didn't ask for it,
也没有主动选择
and we may not have chosen it...
而且我们已经有一个了
And we already have one.
每当我买♥♥到喜欢的衣服
You know, whenever I find a top I like,
就会回去再买♥♥一件同款不同色的
I always go back and get a second one in a different color.
希望你们的宝宝不会是不同色
Which I hope is not the case with your baby.
我知道你们吓坏了但你们是很好的父母
I know you guys are freaked out, but you're great parents,
你们如果需要帮忙我们随时都在
and if you ever need help, we are here for you.
是啊不管什么忙开口就是了
Yeah, anything at all, just ask.
你知道你们能做什么吗
Ooh, you know what you could do?
你们可以也生个宝宝
You could have a baby, too.
不好意思你说什么
I'm sorry, what?
真是个好主意我们可以一起经历这个过程
No, that's a great idea, we could go through it together.
那一定会很好玩对吧
Wouldn't that be fun?
你们刚刚才在说
You guys were just saying
你们有多害怕多凄惨
how freaked out and miserable you are.
我经常说疯话
I say a lot of crazy things.
毕竟我怀孕了体内激素发生变化
I'm pregnant and hormonal.
快点生个宝宝干起来
Do it! Have a baby, do it!
那画面超级萌我们的孩子在一起玩耍
Come on, it'd be so cute, our kids playing together?
怎么样你们俩快去把床单滚起
What do you say, why don't you two hit the old mattress
赶紧搞出个娃娃来
and whip up a family?
我们才不会为了让你们开心
Okay, we're not gonna have a baby
就赶紧生孩子呢
just to make you guys feel better.
想让我俩生孩子除非是我们准备好了
Yeah, if we're gonna have a baby it's gonna be when we are ready,
或者我确定佩妮要抛弃我了
or when I'm certain Penny is gonna leave me.
没错
Exactly.
他们都是我的朋友我应该为他们高兴
They're my friends, and I should be happy for them.
我也努力过了
A-And I'm trying,
但我只感到满腹纠结和莫名的空虚
but all I feel is this gnawing, empty sensation in my gut.
我也曾有过这种感觉
I had that once.
后来发现是我肚子长了绦虫
Turned out it was a tapeworm.
好吧...
Cool. Uh...
只是... 这种事很难跟其他朋友聊
It's just...it's hard talking to my other friends about this,
但我想你可以理解我
but I knew you would understand.
为什么
Why is that?
因为你和我都是单身狗
Because you and I are both alone,
想想还真是抚慰人心
which is actually kind of comforting,
至少我们单着的路上有个伴
because at least we can be alone together.
这真是太尴尬了
Mm. This is-this is awkward.
我今晚本来打算提早关店
I, um, I was actually gonna close up a little early tonight
因为我要去约会
'cause I have a date.
真的吗
Really?
真的
Yeah.
请原谅我无法为你感到开心
Forgive me if I'm having trouble being happy for you.
傻瓜痛在你身乐在我心
Don't be silly, I'm loving your pain.
这会是我俩结婚以后的状态吗
Is this how our marriage is going to be?
有时候人们会更愿意和她说话
Sometimes people will be more interested
而不是和我说话吗
in talking to her than to me?
你现在人在厕所吗
Are you sitting in a bathroom?
是的
Yes.
我需要一个能让我摔门冲入的地方
I needed a place to storm off to
这里是唯一可以的地方
and it was all that was available.
好吧
Fine.
但如果有冲马桶的声音谈话就结束了
But if I hear a flush, this conversation is over.
这些人都有着世界级水准的智慧
Those people were in the presence of a world-class mind,
而他们却只想聊那些无聊废话
and all they wanted to talk about was their own nonsense.
你能听出其中的讽刺意味吗
Can you see the irony in that statement?
听出来没
How about now?
现在呢
How about now?
我会等待的
I'll wait.
惊喜
Surprise.
糟了今天是我们的纪念日吗
Oh, crap, is it our anniversary?
不等一下
No. Wait.
不不是
No. No.
好吧那我们到底是庆祝什么事
All right, so what are we celebrating?
你知道博纳黛特和霍华德又怀孕了
Well, you know, Bernadette and Howard are pregnant again,
艾米和谢尔顿也要结婚了
and Amy and Sheldon are getting married.
我不想让你感到受冷落
I didn't want you to feel left out.
什么受冷落吗
Ah. Left out?
博纳黛特肚子里要长一个小宝宝
Well, Bernadette has to grow a baby inside of her,
艾米马上要嫁给另一个小宝宝
and Amy has to marry one.
我的人生非常圆♥满♥
My life is great.
所以你不想吃这蛋糕了吗
So do you not want the cake?
你把它端走试试看你怎么死
Try and take it away, see what happens.
糟了今天真是我们结婚纪念日
Oh, crap, it is our anniversary.
结婚纪念日快乐
Happy anniversary!
艾米
Amy.
有些事我要告诉你
There's something I need to say to you.
我听着呢
I'm listening.
我一直在想复仇者联盟
I've been thinking about the Avengers.
我相信
I believe that.
但我觉得这没什么好跟我说的
But I don't think that's something you needed to say to me.
我意识到钢铁侠超屌♥
I realized that Iron Man is great.
但同时美国队长也很不错
And also, that Captain America is great.
有时钢铁侠还会出现在美国队长的电影里
And sometimes, Iron Man is in a Captain America movie,
他也不会因为这不是钢铁侠电影而生气
and he's not mad it's not an Iron Man movie.