生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S11E15
Part 1
Oct. 8, 2019, 10:36 a.m.
《生活大爆♥炸♥》前情提要
Previously on The Big Bang Theory...
莱纳德 跟大家说说你的新鲜事
So, Leonard, tell everyone your news.
我开始了一本书
Oh, uh, I am starting a book.
看书对佩妮来说才是大事吧
That would be big news from Penny,
但你以前应该已经读过书了啊
but you've read a book before.
他的意思是写书
He means he's writing a book.
是啊 这件事我想做很久了
I do. It's something I've been thinking about for a long time.
是在讲一个很聪明的物理学家
Yeah. It's about a brilliant physicist
用科学破案
who solves crimes using science.
莱纳德...
Oh, Leonard...
不是在写你
It's not about you!
-惨了 -怎么了
- Oh, boy. ?- What?
他们选出新的质子教授演员了
They cast the new Professor Proton.
-是谢尔顿吗 -不是
Is it Sheldon? Not exactly.
威尔
Wheaton!
是威尔·惠顿
It's Wil Wheaton.
你在干嘛呢
Hey, what are you doing?
我还以为今晚要去莱纳德与佩妮家吃饭
I thought we were having dinner at Leonard and Penny's.
我才不去
Oh, no.
他们在看新版的《质子教授》
No, they're watching the new Professor Proton.
我无法阻止威尔·惠顿在网上出现
I-I can't keep Wil Wheaton off the Internet,
但我可以阻止他在我视网膜出现
but I can keep him off my retinas.
所以你要自己坐在这屁事不干吗
So, you're just gonna sit here by yourself and do nothing?
当然不是
Of course not.
我要去网上吐槽惠顿的节目 写他黑文
I'm going to write mean comments about Wil's show online.
你怎么可以没看过就吐槽人家节目
Well, you can't criticize something you haven't seen.
抱歉 您是第一天上网冲浪吗
I'm sorry, are you familiar with the Internet?
那如果我陪你一起看呢
Well, what if I watch it with you?
或许我也不喜欢这节目 我们可以一起吐槽
Maybe I won't like it and we can complain about it together.
自己找题材吐槽好吗
Get your own thing to complain about.
你信我 我绝对有一个
Oh, trust me, I've got one.
你想 如果你看了
Look, at least if you watch it,
你就能找到更明确的吐槽点啊
maybe you can find more specific things to criticize.
这话有道理
Oh, that is a good point.
明确的吐槽更能刀刀见血
Criticisms are more hurtful when they're specific.
♪ 拿起你的护目镜 ♪
♪ Grab your goggles ♪
♪ 穿上你的实验服 ♪
♪ Lab coat on ♪
? 欢迎莅临 质子教授?
? Here he comes, Professor Proton. ?
大家好 我是质子教授
Hey, everybody. I'm Professor Proton.
欢迎收看节目 今天我将教大家
Welcome to the show. Today I will be teaching you
用家庭常见物品来做真的气垫船
how to make a real hovercraft using common household items.
妈蛋 我的确喜欢能浮起来的东西
Darn it, I do like objects that hover.
你只需要一张光盘
All you will need is a CD,
一个瓶盖 一个气球 还有一些强力胶
a bottle cap, a balloon, and some super glue.
靠 这些东西我全有
Oh, no! I have all those things!
-我回来啦 -你回来啦
- Hey. - Hi.
那是什么声音
What's that noise?
是我的新键盘
Oh, it's my new keyboard.
看起来与听起来都像老式打字机
It looks and sounds like an old-fashioned typewriter.
让我感觉像个真小说家
It makes me feel like a real novelist.
你还给自己倒了杯威士忌啊
You poured yourself a Scotch.
是苹果汁
Apple juice.
没加糖
But unsweetened,
跟海明威当年爱喝的一样
like Hemingway used to drink. Ah.
-书写的怎么样了 -很好啊
- So, how's the book coming along? - Uh, good.
我刚写到了英雄主人翁罗根·迪恩
I just wrote the part where the hero,
这位牛逼的物理学家刚抵达欧洲核子研究中心
hotshot physicist Logan Dean, arrives at CERN.
他是以你为原型的吗
Oh, is he based on you?
算吧 不过可以吃乳制品
Uh, kind of. But he can eat dairy products
而不用担心有"排气"问题
without having to leave the room.
聪明 因为欧洲核子研究中心在瑞士
Yeah, that's smart, because CERN is in Switzerland
而那里出产很多起司
and there's a lot of cheese there.
相信我 这是之后一个伏笔呢
Uh, believe me, that is a plot point later.
等你写好之后 我很乐意拜读你的大作
Well, I'm excited to read it whenever you're ready.
谢谢
Thank you.
我想到谋杀工具要用什么了
Oh. Oh! I just thought of the murder weapon!
瑞士刀吗
Swiss army knife?
不是
No.
她这个强多了啊
That's way better.
看 真的行 我们成功了
Look, it works! We did it!
你看 留着那个光盘还是有用的
See, there was a reason to keep that TurboTax CD.
是啊
Yeah.
何止是光盘啊
A cd-rom?
简直是"飞"盘啊
More like "CD-vroom."
你有没有一点难过你跟威尔·惠顿说
Do you feel bad you told Wil Wheaton
如果他出演这节目 你会跟他反♥目♥成仇
that you'd be his enemy if he did this show?
没 我难过的是
No. I feel bad
我跟一个会指出这件事的人订婚了
I'm engaged to somebody that would point that out.
现在到了质子教授的
It's time for Professor Proton's
每日科学笑话栏目
science joke of the day.
为什么你不能相信原子
Why can you not trust atoms?
因为它们组成[瞎掰]所有事物
Because they make up everything.
太好笑了
Oh, that's funny!
因为的确是啊 它们组成了所有事物
Yeah, because they do. They make up everything.
不知道是谁来了
Oh, I wonder who that could be.
我才以为这节目已经不能再赞了
Just when I thought this couldn't get any better,
威尔还给节目新增加了悬念
Wil has introduced suspense into the show.
是真正的太空总署宇航员 霍华德·沃罗威茨
Hey, it's real NASA astronaut, Howard Wolowitz!
什么
What?!
你好啊 质子教授
Hey, Professor Proton.
谢谢你的大驾光临
Hey, thanks for being here.
小事啦 我发射[午饭]休息时间刚好有空
No problem. I'm on my "Launch" break.
威尔怎么可以邀请他上节目而不邀我
How could Wil ask Howard to be on his show and not me?
他的确是个宇航员啊
Well, he is an astronaut.
他也没有发动炒威尔鱿鱼的网上情愿
And he didn't start an online petition to get Wil fired.
那霍华德为什么不告诉我
But why wouldn't Howard tell me?
他大概是怕
Well, because he probably worried
你会像个小孩一样闹脾气吧
that you'd be a big baby about it.
听完这些答案仿佛醍醐灌顶
All those answers make a lot of sense.
谢谢你 艾米 我好多了
Thank you, Amy. That helps.
然后超级对撞机房♥的灯又再度亮起
And then, when the lights come back on in the supercollider room,
罗根·迪恩博士有两个重大发现
Dr. Logan Dean makes two important discoveries:
超胶子与谋杀案
a gluino and murder.
超胶子 有意思
Oh, gluino. That's exciting.
与谋杀案
And murder.
我听见了
I heard you.
第一次就听见了
The first time.
我不知道雷神兄弟俩谁会扮演罗根·迪恩
I don't know which Hemsworth is playing Logan Dean,
但我知道这角色超适合他俩
but I know it's a Hemsworth.
罗根的原型其实是我
Well, Logan's actually based on me.
所以是年轻版的保罗·吉亚玛提
So a young Paul Giamatti.
我得先写完
Well, I have to finish writing it
才能被翻拍成电影啊
before they can make it into a movie,
我还有一些环节没弄明白
and I still have a few things to figure out.
你该跟伯纳黛特聊聊
You should talk to Bernadette.
因为她一直卧床休养 疯狂看了
Since she's been on bed rest, she's binged,
差不多世上每一档侦探剧吧
like, every detective show in the world.
印度有一档好玩的侦探剧叫《卡拉姆昌德》
Oh, there was a funny detective show in India called Karamchand.
他有名助手叫凯蒂
He had an assistant named Kitty,
他总是说"闭嘴 凯蒂"
and he was always saying, "Shut up, Kitty!"
其实没那么过分啦 如果你用印地语说
Sounds less mean if you say it in Hindi
而且不觉得女人也有感受的话
and don't think of women as having feelings.
你们好啊
Hello.
霍华德 我想告诉你我原谅你了
Howard, I want you to know that I forgive you.
我接受
I'll take it.
他原谅你什么
What's he forgiving you for?
不在乎 一切重新开始 祝我赎罪日快乐
Don't care. Clean slate. Happy Yom Kippur to me.
我知道你上了威尔的节目
I know that you were on Wil's show,
我也知道你为什么没告诉我
and I know why you didn't tell me.
是吗
Do you?
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