生活大爆炸

The Big Bang Theory S11E06

Part 1 Oct. 8, 2019, 10:35 a.m.

华仔吃慢点
Howie, slow down.
不行
I can't.
手术之前12小时都不能吃东西
I'm not allowed to eat for 12 hours before my surgery,
我只剩两分钟了
and I only got two more minutes.
你也要动什么手术吗
What surgery are you having?
我是压力型暴饮暴食
I'm stress eating.
我最好的朋友明天要去结扎了
My best friend's getting a vasectomy tomorrow.
你是难过自己再也没机会怀他宝宝吗
And you're sad you won't be able to bear his child?
我的天
Oh, my goodness.
如果是"结扎手术失误"视频集锦
If it's "Vasectomy gone wrong" videos,
他已经全部看过了
he's seen them all.
包括看起来像一个男人坐在哈密瓜上
Including the one of the guy who's sitting
但其实是他自己血肿蛋蛋的那个视频
on what appears to be a cantaloupe but is not.
我不吃了
And I'm done.
他们要重新开拍《质子教授科学秀》节目了
They're going to start making Professor Proton's science show again.
我还以为他已经过世了
I thought he passed away.
没错
He did.
他火化后骨灰都投进了小苏打火山里了
He was cremated, and his remains were put in a baking soda volcano.
水中加入几勺苏打粉再加一点白醋能像火山爆发
别乱开玩笑他对谢尔顿意义重大
Don't make jokes. He meant a lot to Sheldon.
我也一样我是看着他节目长大的
Oh, me, too. I grew up watching his show.
他是我成为科学家的原因之一
He's one of the reasons I became a scientist.
我还以为你是为了把妹呢
Thought you did it just to get girls.
哈哈我不是把到你了吗
Joke's on you. It worked.
他们找到接♥班♥人了吗
Have they found anyone to replace him?
不还没有这可不简单
No, not yet, and it won't be easy.
亚瑟·杰弗里斯是一个成就颇丰的科学家
Arthur Jeffries was an accomplished scientist.
你知道谁可以演好质子教授吗
You know who'd make a great Professor Proton?
影后梅丽尔·斯特里普
Meryl Streep.
她不是科学家
She's not a scientist.
那你告诉我
Uh, then explain to me why
为什么她和每个人都能产生化学反应
she has chemistry with literally everyone.
如果他们能让女演员来演也不错
It would be nice if they cast a woman.
你们已经有了《神秘博士》和《捉鬼特工队》
Oh, you've already got Doctor Who and the Ghostbusters.
给我们男人剩点吧
Leave us something.
你觉得应该让谁演
Who do you think it should be?
应该选一个我敬重的科学家
Well, it should be a scientist I respect.
一个声线悦耳动听
You know, someone with a pleasing voice
五官均匀对称的人
and symmetrical facial features.
他是在说他自己吗
Is he talking about himself?
他说话时都是在说自己
If he's talking, he's talking about himself.
我只知道质子教授在我小时候触碰了我心
I just know how much Professor Proton touched me as a child,
我觉得我应该还他这份情
and I feel that I owe it to him
也该像他那样去"触碰"更多孩子
to try and touch as many children as possible.
你该把这句话放进试镜视频里
You should put that on your audition tape.
你还好吗
You doing okay?
不人家紧张死了
No, I'm very nervous.
你要去哪里
Where are you going?
礼品店
Gift shop.
这里没有礼品店给我坐下
There is no gift shop. Sit down.
这也是你自己的主意啊
This was your idea.
滚床单也是我的主意你看看后果多严重
So was having sex, and look where that got us.
这没什么大不了的别唧歪了
This isn't a big deal. Stop whining.
你生娃时我也说过同样的话结果你踹了我
When you were in labor and I said that, you kicked me.
霍沃德·沃洛维茨
Howard Wolowitz?
-要我跟你一起吗 -不用
- Want me to go with you? - No.
-我没事 -对我俩可以的
- I'll be fine. - Yeah, we got this.
给我坐下
Sit down!
祝我好运吧
Wish me luck.
走错方向了小子
Other way, buster.
你准备好了吗
Okay, you ready?
差不多了
Yeah, almost.
我正在练习我的面部表情
I'm working on my facial expressions.
看这是我感兴趣的表情
See, uh, I've got interested.
这是非常感兴趣的表情
I've got very interested.
暴怒的表情
Enraged.
你怎么会暴怒呢
Why would you be enraged?
平日多烧香
Hmm. Better to have it and not need it
好过临时抱佛脚
than to need it and not have it.
好吧
Okay.
准备...
And...
开拍
rolling.
大家好我是一名理论物理学家谢尔顿·库珀博士
Hello. I am theoretical physicist, Dr. Sheldon Cooper,
为质子博士一角试镜
auditioning for the role of Professor Proton.
现在请允许我进入角色之
Now, excuse me while I get into character.
大家好我是质子教授
Hello. I am Professor Proton.
今天孩子们
And today, boys and girls,
我们要一起进入有趣的科学世界
we're going to have fun with science.
你知道可以用手边的家庭用品
Did you know you could calculate the mass of an electron
计算出电子的质量吗这是真的哦
using household items? It's true.
你只需要一支铅笔一些纸
All you'll need is a pencil, some paper,
干冰外用酒精
dry ice, rubbing alcohol,
和一卷50微米细的钴60线轴
and a spool of 50-micron-thick cobalt-60 wire.
要记得别把线轴放进嘴里
And, remember, don't put it in your mouth,
不然你没变成科学家
or instead of becoming a scientist,
就先变成放射狂人了
you'll become wildly radioactive.
等一下我有个问题
Hang on. I have a question.
你有其他没有致命危险的实验吗
Do you have any experiments that aren't life-threatening?
拜托人家拍得好好的全被你毁了
Come on! That was a perfect take, and you ruined it.
你看我暴怒的表情用上了
Oh, look! Hey, I did need enraged.
-看来真的很痛啊 -不痛
- Really hurts, huh? - No.
他只是在说"哎哟这价格真划算呀"
He's just saying, "Ow can these prices be so low""
别担心只需休息一两天就好
It's gonna be okay. A day or two of rest,
你会好起来的
and you'll be fine.
那你真是不懂犹太人了
You know nothing about Jewish people.
我去看看她
Um, let me go check on her.
好了现在有一点小尴尬了
Okay, uh, this is a bit awkward.
手册上写我需要检查一下手术部位的
It says here that I need to check the area
发红和肿胀情况
for redness and swelling.
我已经痛到麻木了随便你吧
You know what? It hurts so much, go ahead.
所以孩子们
So you see, boys and girls,
H 也就是螺旋性是使用相对论的自然变量
H, or helicity, is the natural variable to use relativistically
S·P 再除以P的量
is defined as S dot P, divided by the magnitude of P.
所以下次如果操场上有人告诉你
So the next time someone on the playground tells you
你只能用整数值来
you can only use integral values for the matrix
决定反质子的自旋
that determines the spin of the antiproton,
别和那孩子做朋友
you stop being friends with that kid,
因为他肯定成不了材
'cause he's going nowhere.
我们下周再会质子教授跟大家说
Until next week, this is Professor Proton saying,
是美国信息交换标准代码二进制数的"拜"
That's "Bye" in ASCII binary,
"二"个拜拜拜
or good-binary.
你们觉得如何呢
So, what do you think?
我已经跟他说我觉得超赞了
Well, I already told him that I loved it,
但如果你们有人觉得说得太绕太危险...
but if you found it confusing or dangerous or--
或我随便举例比如超长了几倍时间
I don't know-- three to four times too long,
现在就可以提出你们的意见
now is the time to share.
我不知道说什么
I... I don't know what to say.
莱纳德你有什么想说的吗
Leonard, do you know what to say?
谢尔顿我觉得呢...
Sheldon, uh, I thought it, uh...
感觉视频中的你玩得很开心
It-it looked like you were having so much fun.
你以前也教过我用这话应付佩妮
That's what you used to tell me to say to Penny
就在看完她难看的表演后
after one of her terrible plays.
所以问题出在哪呢
Well, what was wrong with it?
你们会觉得...
You know, did you find it...
快接近神经病了吗
borderline psychotic?
我个人觉得呢
I mean,
我挺喜欢这一点但...
I liked that about it, but...
请畅所欲言
you guys discuss.
你还记得你小时候
Do you remember when you were a kid
看质子教授的节目吗
and you'd watch Professor Proton?
当然啊