生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S11E14
Part 3
Oct. 8, 2019, 10:36 a.m.
因为我根本不知道开关在哪
'Cause I don't, I don't even know how to turn it on.
抱歉
I'm sorry.
我不该来这里
I shouldn't have come here.
可能我只是想看看取代我的人是谁
I guess I just wanted to see who she replaced me with.
别这么说
Don't say that.
你们俩的感情很特别
What you two had was special.
谁也取代不了你
No one can replace you.
这话是她说的吗
Did she say that?
不是
No.
我该走了 对吧
I should go, right?
别走
Stay.
好的 晚点联♥系♥
Okay, I'll call you later.
听着 如果这么说能让你好过点
Look, if it makes you feel any better,
我跟她一点都不熟
I barely know her.
不熟她还跟你睡吗
And she had sex with you?
妮尔说你是名消防员
Nell tells me you're a fireman.
都做些什么呀
What's that like?
好吧 知道他在里面房♥间
Okay, I-I-I'm really uncomfortable
我真的很不舒服
with him back in that room.
为什么 他一天都没出来了
Why? He hasn't made a peep all day.
你不懂
Y-Y-You don't get it.
我跟谢尔顿住了那么多年
All the years that we lived together,
他总是能把我弄疯
he drove me crazy the whole time.
而现在却乖乖的
And now he's not.
对啊
Exactly.
别用那种眼神看着我
D-Don't look at me like that.
这代表他以前是故意的
It-it-it means he did it on purpose.
那是他的选择
It was a choice.
就像发现哥斯拉本来可以攻击阿比三明治店
That-That's like finding out Godzilla could've had Arby's
却去了东京一样
instead of Tokyo.
我想日本应该没有阿比三明治店
I don't think they have Arby's in Japan.
这不是重点
Not my point.
谢尔顿
Sheldon.
谢尔顿
Sheldon!
抱歉 我是不是太大声了
I'm sorry. Am I being too loud?
不是 你表现得很完美 你心知肚明
No, you're being perfect and you know it.
你希望我当一个不那么贴心的租客吗
Would you like me to be a less considerate tenant?
不是 是的 什...
No. Yes. What...?
别再扰乱我了
Stop messing with me!
我错了
Hey, I was wrong.
冲绳真的有一家阿比三明治店
There's an Arby's in Okinawa.
他以前跟她哥哥是死党
He was best friends with her older brother,
但他当时根本没注意到她
but he didn't even notice her.
几年后
And then years afterward,
他们在车管所偶遇了对方
they randomly bumped into each other at the DMV.
两小时后 他们就坠入爱河了
Two hours later, they were in love.
你都能从他驾驶证照片中看到眼里爱的火花
You can really see the sparkle in his license photo.
这些都是他在天文馆跟你说的吗
He told you all this at the planetarium?
不不 我们去馅饼屋了
No, no, we went to House of Pies.
他点了香蕉奶油 我点了椰子口味
He got banana cream. I got coconut.
我们分着吃
We did halfsies.
你跟另一个男人分吃一块馅饼吗
You did pie halfsies with another man?
你是指除你以外的男人吗
You mean other than you?
是啊
Yeah.
我很同情他 妮妮
I feel bad for him, Bernie.
他是个好人
He's a, he's a good guy.
如果你觉得不舒服
Well, if you're uncomfortable with it,
也许就别再跟他老婆上♥床♥了
maybe stop sleeping with his wife.
我觉得性不是问题所在
I don't think the sex is the problem.
我很肯定相比起来我表现一般
I know for a fact I was just okay.
声明一下 是我先带你去吃馅饼屋的
For the record, I'm the one who introduced you to House of Pies.
谢尔顿
Sheldon?
是莱纳德啊
Oh, Leonard.
抱歉 我必须离开那里
Sorry, I just, I had to get out of there.
他又做了什么
What did he do now?
啥都没做 他简直是天使
Nothing. He's being a dream.
别那样看着我
Don't give me that look.
佩妮就是用那种眼神看我 我没疯
That's how Penny looked at me. I'm not crazy.
佩妮和我都露出"你疯了"的眼神吗
Penny and I have the same "You're crazy" look?
心有灵犀呀
That's kind of sweet.
我懂得如何对付真实的谢尔顿
I know how to deal with Sheldon being Sheldon,
但表现得理智又体贴的谢尔顿
but Sheldon being a-a rational, thoughtful person?
我都懵了
I'm clueless. I-It's like
就像去年我妈打给我 唱生日歌♥给我听
when my mom called last year to sing happy birthday
我直接吐了
and I-I just threw up.
如果太难以忍♥受
Well, if it gets to be too much,
你随时可以把他赶回来这里
you can always send him back over here.
我和他说好了
I made a deal with him,
再说 那样对你不公平
and besides, that wouldn't be fair to you.
实际上 我挺想他的
Well, actually, I miss him.
他最近都泡在那边
He's been over there a lot.
太好了 那告诉他他可以回来了
Well, great. Tell him he can come back.
不行 他在为我和我的感受着想
I can't. He's thinking of me and my feelings
他想尊重我
and trying to be respectful.
他也是那样对我的 那混♥蛋♥
That's what he's doing to me, too, the jerk!
别再露出那眼神了
Stop that.
你生气的表情和谢尔顿便秘的表情是一样的
Hey, your mad look and Sheldon's constipated look are the same.
这感觉真好
This is nice.
是的
It is.
她以前也是这样吻我的
She used to kiss me like that.
你还好吧
You okay?
没事 抱歉
Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry.
没事
Yeah.
老天 我好孤单啊
Oh, God, I'm so alone.
抱歉 我没办法
Sorry, I can't do this.
怎么了
What's going on?
我前几天遇到奥利弗了
I met Oliver the other day.
等等 你去找我老公了吗
Wait, you tracked down my husband?
不是 那多奇怪啊
No, that would be weird.
是他来找我 然后我们共度了一晚
He tracked me down, then we spent the evening together.
真难以置信
I don't believe this.
他那样做都是因为他在乎你
He-he only did it because he cares about you.
不 是因为他占有欲强 又爱吃醋
No, he did it because he's possessive and jealous.
真的吗 我完全没看出来
Really? I didn't get that at all.
他让我感到很舒服自在
He made me feel very comfortable.
你俩"基"出火花 我倍感欣慰啊
Well, I'm glad you two hit it off.
其实 我觉得你对他不公平
You know, I don't think that you're being very fair to him.
你站他那边吗
You're taking his side?
没有 但我要指出
No, but I should point out that
他提议过做婚姻咨♥询♥ 所以至少他在努力挽回
he did offer to go to counseling, so at least one of you is trying.
你比他还神经病
You're crazier than he is.
这样吧 你再给他一次机会
I'll tell you what, just give him one more chance
如果还是不成功
and if it doesn't work out,
我很乐意继续和你打炮
I'll be happy to keep sleeping with you.
你很乐意是吧
You would?
不管哪种结果 你都会有男人
Either way, you've got yourself a fella.
这多棒啊
Like, how nice is that?
谢尔顿
Hey, Sheldon.
你好
Hello.
你的合同规定有三天试用期
So, your contract provides for a three-day trial period,
我觉得这还是行不通
and I don't think this is working out.
所以 用法律术语来说
So, to put it in legal terms,
就是合同甲方
the party of the first part would like
希望合同乙方滚蛋
the party of the second part to get out.
试用期几点结束
What time does the trial period end?
中午12点
12:00, noon.
那后面还写了啥
Yeah-- what does it say after that?
东部标准时间
Eastern Standard Time.
那是3小时前的事了
That was three hours ago.
既然你没有行使废除合约的权利
And, uh, since you didn't exercise your right to revoke,
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The Big Bang Theory
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