生活大爆炸

The Big Bang Theory S11E06

Part 2 Oct. 8, 2019, 10:35 a.m.

Of course.
那他有过让你觉得... 比方说...
Well, did he ever make you-- I don't know--
痛恨科学与搞科学的人吗
hate science and the people who do it?
你什么意思
What are you saying?
我觉得你要想改进
I-I just think it would be... better
那你对儿童的不屑
if your contempt for children
就不能够这么堂而皇之
wasn't so much in the foreground.
你是要我说谎吗
Well, you want me to lie?
这不是说谎是演戏啊
Well, it's not lying-- it's acting.
虽然谢尔顿·库珀不爱小孩子
Sheldon Cooper may not like kids,
但质子教授很喜欢孩子啊
but Professor Proton loves them.
有意思
Interesting.
我还没用这角度想过呢
You know, I hadn't really thought of it that way.
这就像是我本人很怕狗
It-It's similar to how I'm afraid of dogs,
但我桌游里的角色很喜欢狗一样
but my D&D character likes dogs, you know?
但他对狗过敏所以不能接近狗狗
But he's allergic, so he can't be around them.
我们为什么不养狗
Why don't we have a dog?
你可以重拍一个啊
Hey, you can always reshoot it.
也是啦
Mm, I suppose.
或许这次我还能去请教
And, you know, maybe I could even get some tips
有过专业演员经历的人
from someone who's acted professionally.
谢尔顿我当然很乐意帮助你啦
Sheldon, obviously, I'd be happy to help you out.
我无言以对
I don't know what to say.
谢尔顿怎么了
Hey, Sheldon. What's up?
我需要一个演戏教练
I need an acting coach.
你能给我帕特里克·斯图尔特的电♥话♥吗
Would you give me Patrick Stewart's number?
不能
No.
好吧你来教也行
Fine. I guess you can do it.
妮妮
Bernie?
你从哪弄来的铃
Where did you get a bell?
应用商店
App store.
真好玩让我看看
Fun. Let me see.
等你能抓到我了再还你手♥机♥
When you catch me, you can have it back.
你想躺下一起看个电影吗
You want to lie down, watch a movie?
不行我得去做第16周的产检
I can't. I got my 16-week checkup to get to,
完事后我会买♥♥中餐外卖♥♥回来当晚饭
and then I'll pick up some Chinese for dinner.
我会把哈雷带上
I'll take Halley with me.
你确定你这样不会太累吗
You-you sure you're not overdoing it?
-没事不会的 -那太好了
- No, it's fine. - Great.
那不如别买♥♥中餐
Then maybe, instead of Chinese,
去把烤架热了弄几块牛排如何
fire up the grill and throw on a couple of steaks?
宫保鸡丁谢谢老婆大人
Kung pao chicken, please.
-惨了 -怎么了
- Oh, boy. - What?
他们选出新的质子教授演员了
They cast the new Professor Proton.
是谢尔顿吗
Is it Sheldon?
不是
Not exactly.
惠顿
Wheaton!
是威尔·惠顿
It's Wil Wheaton.
医生怎么说
How was the doctor?
一切良好但我有个事情要说
Good, but I have some news.
别说是双胞胎别是双胞胎
Don't say twins. Don't say twins. Don't say twins.
别说是双胞胎啊
Don't say twins.
不是双胞胎
It's not twins.
我是说我一定会超爱他们啦
Oh. I mean, because I would have loved them both.
医生说我♥操♥劳过度
The doctor said I was overdoing it,
让我在床上歇着保胎
so she put me on bed rest just to be safe.
太心疼了
Oh, no.
虽然看起来不像但我正在朝你飞奔而去
It may not look like it, but I'm running to you!
亚瑟你好啊
Hello, Arthur.
"安息"这两个字
What-what part of "Rest in peace"
你是有哪个字不懂
don't you understand?
我猜你会来是因为你听到消息了吧
I suppose you're here because you heard the news?
谢尔顿我是你的想象虚构出来的
Sheldon, I'm a figment of your imagination.
老子不会听到消息
I don't hear news.
真是个暴躁的虚构体
You're a grumpy figment.
是这样的他们要重启你的节目
Look, they're remaking your show,
他们选了威尔·惠顿来当质子教授
and they cast Wil Wheaton as Professor Proton.
而最糟的地方就是他甚至不是科学家
And the worst part is, he's not even a scientist.
不最糟的地方是
No, the-the worst part is,
我坐在湿哒哒的木头上
I'm sitting on a moist log.
我们得阻止这一切保护你名声
We have to stop this and protect your legacy.
有个毛名声啊
What legacy?
我节目最后两季
My-my last two seasons,
档期是在周日早上五点半播出
I was on Sunday morningn at 5:30.
收视率还被陶土儿童节目给打败
We-we were beat by Davey and Goliath.
我真不敢相信你都不在乎
I can't believe you don't care.
相信吧
Believe it.
但我在乎非常在乎
Well, I care, a lot,
威尔·惠顿绝对会后悔认识我
and Wil Wheaton will rue the day he ever met me.
我觉得大多数人都这么觉得
I think that's true of most people.
你们好啊
Hi, guys.
就想过来看看你们俩怎么样了
Wanted to check in and see how you two were doing.
我们挺好
We're okay.
对啊跟我老婆赖在床上
Yeah, hanging out in bed with my wife,
用裤裆内的体温给冻豆子化冻
thawing out some frozen peas in my pants--
宛如梦中啊
living the dream.
我去哄她吧
Oh, I'll get her.
我以为拉杰会来帮手呢
I thought Raj was helping you out.
没来他得上班
No, he had to work.
再说了关于印度仆人的玩笑
Plus, he has a quota for the amount of
他的容忍♥是有限的
Indian servant jokes he can tolerate,
而我貌似已经把额度用完了
and, apparently, I filled it.
你歇着吧我可以去哄她
Well, you're... I can get the baby.
不用了华仔可以的他能行
No, Howie's got it. He's fine.
对吧华仔
Right, Howie?
比什么时候都行
Never better.
别傻了
Don't be silly.
我可以请假帮你们照看哈雷
I'll take the rest of the day off and watch Halley for you.
或者我们可以打给斯图尔特
Or we can call Stuart.
我敢说他肯定会马上关店
I'm sure he could close up the store,
跳上公交车飞奔来这里
hop on a bus, and be here in no time.
他的确很爱公交车
He does love the bus.
等下
Okay, hang on.
你俩是不相信我可以照看好你们的娃吗
Do you guys not trust me to take care of your baby?
-当然不是 -不是不是
- No. - No!
-不是 -真不是
- No. - No.
我觉得还是...
So I-I guess...
不行
no.
不是我们不信任你只是...
It's not that we don't trust you-- it's just...
你看起来不太像是喜欢小娃娃的人
you don't seem like much of a baby person.
我能照看好你们的傻♥逼♥娃娃好吗
I can watch your stupid baby, okay?
如果她哭了我会抱她起来
If she cries, I will pick her up.
如果她饿了我会给她热奶
If she's hungry, I'll give her a bottle.
如果她拉粑粑了我会点上熏香
And if she poops, I'll light some incense.
那可真是帮了大忙了
It would be a big help.
好吧谢谢你
Okay. Thank you.
相信我你们俩绝对可以放一百个心
Trust me, you guys have nothing to worry about.
当年在我们老家
You know, back in Nebraska,
我们家的小猪仔
I raised all our baby pigs
都是我一手养大到可以送去宰了
right until the day they were slaughtered.
所以除非你们娃是早餐肉做的
So, unless your baby's made of breakfast meat,
否则她好着呢
she's fine.
你会去做结扎手术吗
Would you ever get a vasectomy?
或许你没有注意到
Uh, in case you haven't noticed,
印度人不是很喜欢计划生育
Indians aren't too big on birth control.
很可能从我们开始这话题到现在
There's probably, like, a million more of us
印度又多了一百万人口
since we started this conversation.
你还好吧
You okay?
不好
No.
网上所有关于威尔的评论
No, all these comments online about Wil,
一水儿全是支持和好话