生活大爆炸

The Big Bang Theory S11E09

Part 3 Oct. 8, 2019, 10:35 a.m.

不是要炫耀啦但我每次分手都一分到底了
Uh, not to brag, but all my breakups have lasted.
你和霍华德分手了我很遗憾
I'm so sorry to hear about you and Howard.
谢了我真是看不出来
Thanks. I just didn't think he was
他是那种在网上乱来的人
the kind of guy who would be doing weird stuff online.
真的吗我觉得特别明显呀不过行吧
Really? Wow, I thought it was so obvious, but okay.
我知道分手很难熬但我觉得
Look, I know it's hard, but I think the best thing
分手后最该做的就是沉淀一下
to do after a breakup is to take some time
好好享受单身时光
and be by yourself.
这才是健康的
Yeah, that's healthy.
宝贝儿可以走了吗
Hey, babe, ready to go?
学我说的话别学做的事
Do as I say, not as I do.
我真不敢相信你会生气
I cannot believe you're mad.
我没有生气
I'm not mad.
真的吗对你的眉毛说去
Oh, really? Tell that to your eyebrows.
我在中间放一个硬币
Bet I could place a quarter between them,
都能停得稳稳的
and it would just stay there.
好吧我生气了
Fine, I'm mad.
我只是觉得我比你对分手更感到难过
I guess I was more upset by our breakup than you.
才怪我当然也很难过
That is not true. Of course I was upset.
看起来不像呀
Didn't seem like it.
你立刻就跟你找到的第一个
You started dating the first
又高又帅的肌肉男搞上了
tall, handsome hunk you could find.
不好意思
I'm sorry,
你生气是因为我上了扎克还是因为你没上到他
are you mad that I dated Zack or that you didn't?
-嗨 -你好扎克
- Hi. - Hey, Zack.
真高兴见到你们
So good to see you guys.
我们应该多这样来几次
Man, we should do this more often.
不停地回来找你要笔记本电脑吗
Come over to get laptops back from you?
对啊
Totally.
你还留着那电脑吗
So do you have it?
当然啦那是佩妮送给我的礼物
Of course I do. Penny gave it to me as a gift.
这么重要的礼物怎么能乱丢呢
You don't get rid of something like that.
抱歉我把你那台蠢电脑送掉了
All right, I'm sorry I gave away your stupid laptop.
你道歉是应该的我们当时也才刚分手
You should be. We were broken up for, like, five minutes.
你俩在吵架吗
Are you guys fighting?
-对 -没有
- Yeah. ‭- No.
你们在为是否在吵架这件事而吵吗
Are you fighting about whether or not you're fighting?
我也跟人吵过这个架
'Cause I've had that fight before.
最后发现我们真的在吵架而我输了
Turns out we were, and I lost.
莱纳德觉得我和他分手时一点都不难过
Leonard thinks when we broke up, it didn't bother me.
怎么可能
That's crazy.
我和她交往时她不停地在说你的事
When we were going out, she used to talk about you all the time.
老实说我觉得她和我约会
In fact, I think she only dated me
仅仅是因为我让她想起了你
because I reminded her of you.
好吧
Sure.
因为我俩都...
Because we're both...
是人吗
people?
说对啦
Damn right we are.
对了里面还有一段讲述她如何思念你的视频
Oh, also, there was that video about how much she missed you.
-什么视频 -电脑上的那个
- What video? ‭- The one on the laptop.
我没想窥探你的隐私但我就是爱管闲事
I didn't mean to invade your privacy, but I am a huge snoop.
不信问我的邻居她会告诉你
Ask my neighbor. She'll tell you.
但别现在去问她正在洗澡呢
But not right now; she's in the shower.
你好莱纳德
Hello, Leonard.
我本打算给你写封邮件但是我喝得有点高
I was gonna write you an e-mail, but I'm a little drunk,
而拼写这件事适合清醒的人去做所以...
and spelling is a sober person's game, so...
我感觉我欠你一个"姐释"
I feel I owe you a 'splanation.
对不起
I-- I'm sorry.
一个"姐释"
A 'splanation.
佩妮佩妮
Penny. Penny.
佩妮
Penny.
谢尔顿走开我在拍影片呢
Sheldon, go away. I'm making a video.
抱歉等你一个人方便的时候我再过来
Oh, I'm sorry. I'll come back when you're alone.
不不是的我一个人在家
No, no, no. I am alone.
我在向莱纳德解释我为什么和他分手
I'm just telling Leonard why I broke up with him.
他清楚得很
Oh, he knows.
我倒是想看看
The video I want to see
解释你为什么和他交往的视频
is why you went out with him in the first place.
我和他交往是因为他这人很棒
I went out with him because he's great.
如果我们继续这样下去
And if I kept going out with him,
我大概就会和他结婚了
I probably would've married him,
这让我有点害怕
and that's a little scary
因为我还没有做好结婚的准备
because I just don't think I'm ready for that.
再说我真得学学如何拼写霍夫斯塔特
You know, plus I have got to learn how to spell Hofstadter.
我知道里面有"塔"字
I-I know there's a "D" in there,
但每次一写它就跳来跳去
but it keeps moving every time I try and write it.
谢尔顿我该怎么做
Sheldon, what do I do?
昏睡过去时记得面朝下以免被呕吐物呛死
Try to pass out facedown, so you don't choke on your vomit.
我才不会昏睡过去
I am not gonna pass out.
但还是要谢谢你
But thank you anyway.
-哇 -对啊
- Wow. ‭- I know.
她后面还这么趴了两个多小时
There's, like, two more hours of her just lying there.
原来你这么爱我
Aw, you love me so much.
我都和你结婚了好吗猪头
I married you, jackass.
我知道而且不是因为同情我
I... I know, and not just out of pity
其他人在婚礼祝福里都说错了
like everyone said in their wedding toast.
你们想看她最后摔下椅子的画面吗
You want to see the part where she falls off the chair?
-不想 -想看
- No. ‭- Totally.
这才是我老婆
That's my wife.
我得再倒回去看一遍
I got to see that again.
-拿到电脑了 -快拿过来
- Got the laptop. - Hand it here.
我的小心脏好紧张
Oh, this is so exciting!
等我们卖♥♥掉比特币你会把这些年来
Hey, when we sell the Bitcoin, are you gonna pay your dad back
剥削你爹的钱财都还给他吗
all the money you took from him over the years?
想都没想过
Never even crossed my mind.
找到比特币文件夹了
Okay, here's the Bitcoin folder.
里面有多少钱
Yeah, how much is in there?
里面是空的
It's empty.
什么怎么可能
What? Th-That's impossible.
难道是扎克偷了吗
Do you think Zack stole it?
他才不懂怎么偷比特币
No, he doesn't know how to steal Bitcoin.
他把货车当成出租车招手叫停
I mean, he waves at trucks.
那会是谁干的呢
Hmm... who could it have been?
谢尔顿你做了什么
Sheldon, what did you do?
我策划了我的报仇大计
I plotted my revenge.
如果你有盘子我就为你呈上一盘复仇
If you get a dish, I'll serve you some cold.
你偷了我们的比特币吗
What, y-you stole our Bitcoin?
冷静
Oh, calm down.
我只是偷偷登录了你的电脑
All I did was sneak onto your computer
把你们的比特币下载到U盘上了
and download your Bitcoin onto a flash drive.
什么
What?
我没有占为己有
I'm not keeping it.
我只是想看你着急到满头大汗
I just wanted to watch you sweat.
你要想看他出汗
If you want to watch him sweat,
只需要和他爬一层楼梯就行了
walk up a flight of stairs with him.
我等待了7年之久终于等到了
I've waited seven long years, but it finally happened.
我们的钱在哪里
Where's our money?
这才是最妙的部分
That's the best part.
其实就在你钥匙串上的蝙蝠侠U盘里
It's on the Batman flash drive on your key chain.
一直都在你的口袋里呢
You've had it in your pocket all along.
谢尔顿
Sheldon...
我的钥匙串早就丢了
I lost that key chain years ago.
真的吗
Really?
你你有没有到处翻翻找找
D-D-Did you look under things?
真是太不幸了
Well, that is unfortunate.
我想我们今天都学到了一课
I guess we've all learned a lesson today.
我们学到了什么呀
What was the lesson?
我也不知道
I don't know.
那是什么
Huh. What's that?
蝙蝠侠的U盘呢
Ooh, Batman flash drive.