生活大爆炸

The Big Bang Theory S11E16

Part 1 Oct. 8, 2019, 10:36 a.m.

华仔华仔醒醒
Howie? Howie, wake up.
时候到了
It's time.
你羊水破了吗
Oh. Did your water break?
没有
No.
开始宫锁了吗
Are you feeling any contractions?
没有
No.
等等那你要去哪里呢
Wait. Well, where are you going?
去医院啊
To the hospital.
今天是预产日我想赶紧解决这破事
Today's my due date, and this crap needs to end now.
亲爱的孩子不一定会在预产日出生
Honey, babies don't always come on their due date.
哈雷就晚了两周啊
Halley was two weeks late.
不过这孩子是男孩
But this baby's a boy.
男孩"出门"通常不需要准备那么久
They don't take as long to get ready.
你在干嘛
What are you doing?
我在用幽默缓解情况啊
I'm making the situation better with humor.
有缓解到吗
Are you?
那你要我用变魔术来缓解吗
Would you rather me make it better with magic?
-睡觉吧 -我变
- Go back to sleep. - Ta-da!
对了我听说做♥爱♥能诱发分娩
You know, I hear that sex can induce labor.
为了家庭我愿付出一切
Anything for my family.
我知道今天是伯纳黛特的预产日
I believe today is Bernadette's due date.
你怎么知道
How do you know that?
简单她最后一次月经的40周后
Easy. 40 weeks from the date of her last period.
那你怎么会知道她经期
And why do you know that?
我关心别人是我的错 "抱歉"啊
Well, excuse me for taking an interest in people.
随时都可能出生
So, any day now.
我也不知道了
Oh, I don't know.
今早去看了医生
We went to the doctor this morning,
医生说可能还得等一两周
and she said it could still be another week or two.
伯纳黛特还坚持得住吗
How's Bernadette holding up?
还挺难的
It's pretty rough.
她很难受
She's having a hard time.
那你为什么在笑
Why are you smiling?
我昨晚做了两次爱
I had sex twice last night.
你这样是不对的人家在卧床休养
That's not fair! She's on bed rest.
没办法逃走
She can't run away.
是她提议的
It was her idea.
她在哪读到性♥爱♥可以诱发分娩
She read that it can start labor.
这是真的吗
Is that true?
我本来也想上网搜搜
Well, I would have Googled it,
但我的手忙着脱裤子
but I was busy taking my pants off.
我没有要炫耀但艾米上次生日
Yeah, not to brag, but Amy's last birthday
让我跟她的交♥媾♥次数达到了四次
brought my coital tally up to four.
我能确定你这个绝对不是炫耀
Whatever you're doing, it's not bragging.
-各位好 -你好啊
- Hey, guys. - ?Hey.
你来啦我刚才正聊到你呢
?Hey, I was just talking about you.
-我该问聊什么吗 -万万不该
- Oh, should I ask? - You should not.
我想要把我们的拨款提案给写完
I'm trying to get our grant proposal together.
你把那些机械制图弄完了吗
Any chance you've finished up those mechanical drawings?
抱歉我本来昨晚应该画完的
Oh, sorry. I was gonna do it last night,
结果有事情耽搁了
but I got kind of busy.
是啊有"事情"
Yeah, you did.
他们在说什么
What are they talking about?
我给你个提示
I'll give you a hint.
是某件我跟你做过四次的事
It's something that we have done four times.
看爱情歌♥舞片《爱乐之城》吗
Watched La La Land?
什么没有才没有
What? No. No.
我才没有看四遍《爱乐之城》
I've not watched La La Land four times.
如果你们在我手♥机♥上发现它的原声带
If you find the soundtrack on my phone,
那只是因为我跟艾米的下载账号♥相关联
that's just 'cause our iTunes accounts are linked.
貌似在孩子出生前
Looks like I might have a little more time
我应该还有点空闲时间
before the baby gets here,
要不我们挑灯夜战做完它吧
so why don't we just stay late and get it done?
可我也不想你丢下伯纳黛特一个人啊
Well, I don't want you to leave Bernadette alone.
我们可以去她家陪她啊
Oh, we can hang out and keep her company.
-对啊 -看啊看我的线上视频待看列表
- Yeah, absolutely. - See, see. Look at my Netflix queue.
两部纪录片
There's two documentaries
还有电影《朋友也上♥床♥》[朋友有福利]
and the movie Friends with Benefits,
我本来以为这也是纪录片
which I thought was a documentary
讲雇主提供健康保险
about employer health care plans.
妮妮是我
Hey, Bernie, it's me.
我自己开门进来啦
I let myself in.
你来啦
Hey.
你这是在干嘛
What are you doing?
你不是应该卧床休养吗
I thought you were supposed to be on bed rest.
是啊但我已经在这楼梯上
That's done, but I've been on stair rest
楼梯休养了足足45分钟了
for the last 45 minutes.
来我扶你起来
Here, let me help you. ?Yeah.
你要是真想帮忙我就带上橡胶手套
If you really want to help, put on a rubber glove,
手伸进来帮我把小孩拉出来
reach on up there and start pulling.
我知道你是在开玩笑但我在农场长大
I know you're joking, but I grew up on a farm.
我真敢帮你
I'll do it.
我就想赶紧生了了事
Oh, I just want this to be over.
我的瑜伽老师怀孕的时候
You know, when my yoga instructor was pregnant,
她说有很多姿势
she told me there are tons of poses
帮助她开始分娩
that put her right into labor.
我乐意一试
I'll try,
但感觉就是柔软"姿势"害我走到这一步
but I feel like bendy poses are what got me into this mess.
我们先从平和的呼吸运动开始
Okay, we're gonna start with some nice breathing exercises.
抱歉我满脑子都在想你的肚子有多平坦
Sorry. I can't think of anything except how flat your belly is.
谢谢夸奖
Oh, thank you.
去多穿点衣服你个贱♥人♥
Go put on some more clothes, you bitch.
好的我们蹲下去
Okay, we go down...
再站起来
and back up.
再站起来
And back up!
我有障碍的又不是听力
Yeah, hearing you is not the problem.
不许拍
Put that phone away!
笑一个
Smile.
相信我有一个穴道[三阴交穴]
I'm telling you, there's an acupressure point
就在你的脚踝上方能帮助诱发宫缩
right above your ankle that can induce contractions.
行吧但我警告你一下
All right, but just a warning.
我的脚有点水肿
My feet are a little swollen.
没事啦伯纳黛特
Oh, please, Bernadette.
我敢肯定... 哎妈
I'm sure this-- okay.
怎么了
What?
没什么你的脚踝很正常啊一点都不像
Nothing. Your ankles look fine, and not at all
我刚打开了一盒羊角包的面团
like I just popped open a can of crescent rolls.
我母亲相信如果你精神上没准备好
My mother believes that if you're not prepared mentally,
有可能会影响你的身体推迟开始分娩
it can delay your body from going into labor.
所以你的意思是什么这是我自己的错吗
So what are you trying to say? It's my fault?
拉杰神经病啊
Raj is crazy.
你的脚踝才没那么恶心
Your ankles aren't that gross.
你好啊
Hello.
让我猜猜你也是来帮忙催生的
Let me guess. You're here to try to get me to go into labor.
怎么可能我连别人打喷嚏都恶心
Oh, please. I'm disgusted when people sneeze,
那还只是他们鼻子有东西跑出来
and that's just stuff coming out of their nose.
不是的
No.
我只是来坐在你身旁陪着你而已
I am here to sit with you and keep you company.
那真好
Oh, that's nice.
陪伴的方式是跟你玩一个桌游史上
Yeah, by playing the most complicated board game
最复杂的一款游戏《北美战役》
ever invented: Campaign for North Africa.
我从网上买♥♥的
I bought it off eBay.
味道闻起来像辣椒不过所有的配件都齐全
It smells a little like chili, but all the pieces are there.
快出生吧宝贝
Come on, baby.
现在快出生救老妈我就给你买♥♥小马
Get out here right now and I'll buy you a pony.
拨款委员会里有人是工程师吗
Are there any engineers on the grant committee?
我不知道啊为什么
I don't know. Why?
我没有时间去想出
I didn't have time to figure out
三轮入加液压系统分路阀箱
the three-input hydraulic manifold,
所以这个图其实只是个通量电容器
so this diagram is really just a flux capacitor