生活大爆炸

The Big Bang Theory S11E11

Part 2 Oct. 8, 2019, 10:35 a.m.

哈雷的成长点滴感到愧疚
about all the stuff she's missing with Halley.
好吧
All right.
斯图尔特叔叔帮你忙
Uncle Stuart's got your back.
斯图尔特式派对绝对与众不同
Ain't no party like a Stuart party
因为斯图尔特从没被邀请去过派对
because Stuart's never invited to parties.
停电了吗
Did the electricity go out?
女士我不知道你说的"电"是什么
I don't know what you mean by "electricity," Ma'am.
我只是一个住在草原小屋里的务农男孩
I am just a farmer boy living in a little house on the prairie.
你开心就好
I'm glad you're happy.
我想在你生日的时候做点特别的
I wanted to do something special for your birthday.
有很特别太完美了
Oh, you did, you did! It's perfect!
但你知道我生日是明天的吧
You do know that my birthday's tomorrow, right?
这只是你的生日周末第一阶段
This is just step one of your birthday weekend.
你愿意坐下与我一同享用
Now, would you care to join me
正宗拓荒者晚餐吗
for an authentic frontier dinner
全部手工做的呢
made entirely from scratch?
真不敢相信你做了这些太棒了
I can't believe you did this. It's amazing!
没什么大不了的啦
Oh, it's not a big deal.
怕你误会这的确是有大不了
Just to be clear, it was a big deal.
我刚才只是谦虚你有听懂的吧
I was being modest. You got that, right?
如雷贯耳
Loud and clear.
希望你已经饿了
Well, I hope you're hungry.
我饿死了
Oh, I'm starving.
太好了饥饿的确也符合那个年代背景
Oh, good. Starvation is authentic to the time period.
如果你还得了疟疾
If you also have malaria
与十分不信任美洲原住民
and a deep distrust of Native Americans,
我们就真是有地道的拓荒者风了
we're really cooking with a woodstove.
那是黄油吗
Is that butter?
是啊但配饼干省着点抹啊
Yes. But don't blow it all on one biscuit.
我花了9小时才搅出那么多
Took me nine hours to make that.
可能都得了搅拌者肘
I think I got churner's elbow.
我知道我们只在生日那天交♥媾♥
I know we only have coitus on my birthday,
但我都不知道我能不能忍♥到午夜过后了
but I don't know if I can wait until midnight.
你到时候会庆幸你忍♥住了的
Oh, well, you'll be glad you did.
全天下谁不知道最棒的前戏
Everyone knows the best foreplay
就是严格遵守时间表
is rigid adherence to a strict schedule.
你在干嘛
Hey. What are you doing?
我决定也设计一封我的圣诞贺卡
Oh, I've decided to write my own Christmas letter.
我正在列下我们今年做过的牛逼事
So I'm gonna make a list of all the cool things we did this year.
有意思能帮忙吗
Oh, fun. Can I help?
可以啊你想到今年做的任何牛逼事了吗
Yes. Can you think of a single cool thing we did this year?
我们的工作都进展不错啊
Uh, well, both of our jobs are going great.
大概吧我的空军项目被拿回了
Sure. I mean, my Air Force project got taken away,
你也不是真的很爱当药代
and you're not crazy about selling pharmaceuticals.
我就写"工作还在"
I'll just write down "Still employed."
我们结婚两周年了
Oh, we had our second anniversary.
不过我们也没怎么记得它
Uh, yeah, but we did kind of forget about it,
就写"婚姻还在"
so maybe just write "Still married."
很好行
Great. Okay.
这是个好开头
Okay, that's a start.
还有什么
What else?
其实或许这样就够了
You know, maybe this is enough.
来看看我们今年的照片吧有助于回忆
Let's look at our pictures; that-that'll jog our memories.
那照片是干嘛的
What is that a picture of?
那是我背上的一个痣
Oh, uh, that's a mole on my back.
我想确定它不是黑色素瘤
I wanted to make sure it wasn't growing.
你是怎么能拍到自己的背啊
How'd you get a picture of your own back?
谢尔顿拍的我们是检查痣小伙伴
Sheldon took it. We're kind of mole buddies.
这照片挺有爱啊
Hey, that's a cute picture.
这不是我们差点要去海边那次拍的吗
Isn't that the day we almost went to the beach?
阵亡将士纪念日吗
Memorial Day?
不是那天是我们差点就去爬山那次
No, that was the day we almost went to the mountains.
这就是加州的一个优点
That's the great thing about California;
你能在同一天同时
you can almost go to the mountains
差点去海边又差点去爬山
and almost go to the beach in the same day.
是啊
Yeah.
对不起我故意不邀请你
Look, I'm sorry about not inviting you
来参加哈雷的生日派对这太恶劣了
to Halley's birthday. That wasn't cool.
我们很希望你能来给
And of course we would love to have you. Here.
谢谢
Thank you.
我也很乐意来参加
I'd really like to be there.
太好了因为派对是明天我需要你来筹办
Great, 'cause it's tomorrow, and I need you to plan it.
什么
What?
斯图尔特本来说好了帮忙
Stuart was gonna help,
但免费诊所有个免费结肠镜检查机会
but the free clinic had an open spot for a colonoscopy,
他毫不犹豫弃我而去
and he jumped on it.
所以你来道歉
So-so-so you're just apologizing
是因为你需要帮忙吗
because you need something?
对啊我觉得我敢承认是很成熟的一件事呢
Yes, and I think it's pretty mature of me to admit it.
这也太羞辱人了吧
Well, that's very insulting.
是啊你到底帮不帮忙
Right again. Are you gonna help me or not?
不我才不要帮你
No, I will not help you.
但我愿意帮哈雷
But I will help Halley.
她是我♥干♥女儿我爱她
She's my goddaughter, and I love her.
而且我还有很多
And I have a lot of party favors
小桂子生日派对多余的派对道具...
left over from Cinnamon's birthday, so...
希望她会喜欢咬了会发声的东西
I hope she likes things that squeak when you chew on them.
她是人类不是动物
Sh-She's a human being, not an animal.
但感觉会很受欢迎呢
But that actually would be a hit.
你还想要什么吗
Can I get you anything else?
不用了谢谢我吃饱了
No, thanks. I think I'm good.
你确定吗还剩很多猪油呢
You sure? There's still plenty of pork fat.
不过如果我们不吃
Although, if we don't eat it,
我们是也可以把它做成肥皂啦
I suppose we could turn it into soap.
那样说不定还会好吃点
That might taste better.
我想过去做在沙发上歇会儿
I think I'm just gonna go over here and sit on the couch.
好啊
Oh, great.
那我们进行第二阶段吧
Then we will move on to stage two:
拨雨撩云
the pitching of woo.
撩吧
Ooh.
要我给你念念淫秽的19世纪打油诗吗
Should I read you some bawdy 19th century limericks?
好吧
Okay.
来
Oh, here.
"泰瑞豪特来了一牧师
"There once was a priest from Terre Haute
他买♥♥了一绵羊一山羊..."
who purchased a sheep and a goat..."
等等
Hold on a second.
是不是有点越来越热啊
Is it getting hot in here?
我都还没读到淫秽的部分呢
Well, I didn't even get to the dirty part yet.
不是我是说认真的
No, I-I'm serious.
你觉得会是食物有问题吗
Do you think there was something wrong with that food?
拓荒者扇贝吗应该不会吧
Frontier scallops? I shouldn't think so.
我的肚子有点难受
My stomach's feeling a little weird.
我的也有一点
Yeah. Uh, mine, too.
我确定这只是情欲高涨前的剧烈疼痛
I'm sure it's just the first sharp cramps of arousal.
不这感觉不太对
No. Th-This doesn't feel right.
别急色♥色♥的话留到卧室里说
Hey, hey, save that sexy talk for the bedroom.
不好意思失陪一下
You know, if you'll excuse me,
我去洗把脸
I am just going to go freshen up.
谢尔顿
Sheldon?
给我一分钟
I'll be out in a minute.
我等不了一分钟
I don't have a minute!
真不敢相信你一个晚上就弄到这样
I can't believe you pulled this all together overnight.
如果有更多时间我能请来蓝人乐团呢
Uh, if I had more time, I could have gotten the Blue Man Group.
表演时会浑身涂成蓝色
其中一个跟我去同一个干洗店
One of them goes to my dry cleaner.
顺带一说超讨厌他
Who, by the way, hates him.
你真是帮了大忙了
You really saved the day.
不是为了帮你是为了哈雷
Well, it's not for you. It's for Halley.
我也相信她一定会很感谢你
And I'm sure she'd appreciate it,
如果她能懂这是在干嘛与你是谁
if she knew what's going on or who you are.
早安