生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S11E11
Part 1
Oct. 8, 2019, 10:35 a.m.
《生活大爆♥炸♥》前情提要
Previously on The Big Bang Theory...
想去吃午饭吗
Want to grab some lunch?
你猜怎么着 不去
You know what? I don't think so.
我来猜猜看 你不吃饭
Oh, let me guess, you're not eating
是因为刻薄女们用笔把你胖的部位圈出来了
because the mean girls circled your chubby bits in marker?
不 是这个 你刚才说的这个
No. That, that right there.
这就是原因 你总是在取笑我
That's the reason. You're always making fun of me.
那些都是玩笑话而已
Those are just jokes.
我用这种方式来表达我们是朋友
It's my way of saying that we're friends,
再说你减个几斤又不会死
and it wouldn't hurt you to drop a few.
15年来你总是在奚落我
15 years of constant ridicule.
我觉得我们的关系已经变得有毒了
I-I think our relationship has become toxic.
你这是什么意思
What are you saying?
我觉得我们需要分开一段时间
I think you and I need to spend some time away from each other.
听着 我...
Look, I...
看得出你不开心 但是...
I can see you're upset, but...
我需要知道一些基本规则
I'm gonna need some ground rules.
分开期间 我能否约其他缠人的印度男
While we're apart, can I see other needy Indian men?
滚出去
Get out!
斯图尔特 我有两个问题
Oh, Stuart, two questions:
你有最新的《水行侠》漫画吗
Do you have the new Aquaman,
还有你介不介意我在你后屋熏肉
and do you mind if I use your back room to smoke some meat?
鉴于问的人是你
Well, since it's you asking,
我猜熏肉应该没有别的隐晦含义
I'm gonna guess that's not a euphemism.
所以你为什么要熏肉啊
Why are you smoking meat?
还有你为什么开始看《水行侠》这种玩意了
And why are you reading Aquaman?
我想给艾米做一顿符合历史的
I am trying to make Amy a historically accurate
《草原小屋》风格生日晚餐 至于漫画...
Little House on the Prairie dinner for her birthday, and...
美国大西部拓荒风格儿童小说
则是以防日后它火的时候好显摆自己早看过了
I want to be able to say I was reading it before it was cool.
还真是有心呢
Wow, well, that's actually really sweet.
我是说晚餐的事 《水行侠》的事太傻♥逼♥了
The dinner thing. The Aquaman thing's dumb.
直到新的电影中找了型男演出才翻身
对了 哈雷的生日跟艾米生日同天对吧
Isn't Halley's birthday the same as Amy's?
不过我们没有要盛大庆祝 她才一岁
Yeah, but we're not doing anything big 'cause she's one,
伯纳黛特在卧床养胎
Bernadette's on bed rest, and
而我是懒蛋
I'm lazy.
你们好啊
Hey, guys.
-你好啊 -你来啦
- Hello. - Hey.
霍华德兄
Howard.
拉杰同志
Raj.
失陪了
Excuse me.
不是吧 你们还在闹别扭啊
Really? Is this still happening?
我很乐意重修旧好 但某人像个婴儿似的
I'm willing to make up, but someone's being a baby.
我最爱谜语了 我来猜猜
Ooh! I do love a riddle. Oh, let me see.
我第一个会猜哈雷
See, my first guess would be Halley,
不过骂她像个婴儿有点不合理
but that'd be strange to accuse her of being a baby
因为她本来就是婴儿
'cause she is a baby. Um...
我想或许是斯图尔特
I suppose it could be Stuart;
他的小脑袋有某种婴儿奶香
his head does have a certain milky scent.
不过嘛...
Although...
是我 谢尔顿 他是在骂我闹婴儿脾气
I-It's me, Sheldon. He-He's calling me a baby.
不好说 我今天还看到莱纳德把钥匙放嘴里
No, I don't know. I saw Leonard put his keys in his mouth today.
你都是个成年人了 别那么幼稚
You're a grown man; act like it.
一个读《阿奇漫画》的人 真好意思说这种大话
Big talk coming from a guy holding an Archie comic book.
《狼人加戈》比你老爸生的傻子[加戈]强多了
Hey, werewolf Jughead is not your dad's Jughead.
别这样 你们都当朋友那么多年了 别吵了
Come on, you guys have been friends forever. Quit fighting.
我有两张去
I have an extra ticket
今晚《星球大战》新电影首映的票
to the opening of The Last Jedi tonight.
本来一张要给霍华德 现在给你吧
It was gonna be Howard's, but you can have it.
过去虽美 缘分已尽
You two had a good run.
今晚谁想再去看一次《星战8》
Uh, who wants to go see Last Jedi again tonight?
-我要去 -我也要
- Mm, I'm in. - Me, too.
这样能补上我眨眼时错过的部分
It'll be nice to see the parts I missed while I was blinking.
各位 计划有变
Hey, guys, there's a change of plans.
我们最终还是决定为哈雷办生日派对
We are having a party for Halley's birthday after all.
原来伯纳黛特与"任何不是没心没肺恶魔"的人
Turns out Bernadette and "Anyone who's not a heartless monster"
都会觉得应该举办
thinks that's the right thing to do.
我不喜欢小孩 不过我喜欢生日蛋糕
I don't like kids, but I do like birthday cake.
等等 蛋糕上会有糖霜裱花吗
Oh, wait, will there be sugary icing flowers on it?
我不知道
I don't know.
我愿意以身犯险
I'll risk it.
如果我闹脾气又提早走 原因不说你也懂
But if I have a tantrum and have to leave early, you'll know why.
-给你 -给你
- Here you go. - Here you go.
两位到时候见
See you two there.
你不是吧
Are you kidding me?
你不邀请我去哈雷的生日派对吗
You're not gonna invite me to Halley's birthday?
我是她的干爸 这可不是白叫
I'm her godfather; that means something.
或者... 听我说... 就是白叫
Or-- hear me out on this-- it doesn't.
好了 够了
Okay, that's enough.
你们俩要么别吵了 要么吵点新花样出来
This fight either has to end or get way more entertaining.
没事 我受够他了
Don't worry about it 'cause I'm done putting up with him!
我知道你有很多事要烦
I know you have a lot on your mind,
但你觉得什么时候能知道蛋糕裱花的事
but when do you think we'll have an answer on those cake flowers?
你在看什么
What you reading?
是你哥哥的圣诞卡片
Oh, it's your brother's Christmas letter.
如果里面有他跟他老婆孩子
If there's a picture of his wife and his kids
还有他家的狗与马 全部穿成套睡衣的照片
and his dogs and his horses all in matching pajamas,
我求你烧了它
I beg you to burn it.
他们穿的睡衣上有小马
Aw, the people's pajamas have little horses on them,
而他家的马穿的衣服上有小人
and the horses' have little people.
他就是趁机炫耀他生活多完美
It's just his chance to brag about how great his life is.
别这样 挺好的啊
Oh, come on, it's nice.
你知道他合作的公益机构吗
You know that nonprofit he works with?
他们在非洲卢旺达盖了医院呢
They built a hospital in Rwanda.
快来看我 我在卢旺达盖了医院呢
Look at me. I built a hospital in Rwanda.
好有道理啊 我都没这么想过呢
That is a good point. I hadn't thought of it that way.
-两位好 -好
- Hello. - Hey.
这是艾米生日要用的 我能先放这里吗
So this is for Amy's birthday. Can I leave it here?
行啊 那是什么
Sure. What is it?
黄油搅拌筒
A butter churn.
我也要送她那个呢
Aw, that's what I got her.
这是我给她的拓荒者惊喜生日晚餐上要用的
It's for her surprise frontier birthday dinner.
我要做压缩饼干 盐煮猪肉
I am making hardtack, boiled salt pork,
因为是特殊的日子 还要做可嚼式树汁块
and because it's a special day, a chewable gob of tree sap.
那个味道好吗
Is that good?
跟其他食物相比 不好
Uh, compared to other foods, no.
跟树的其他部位相比嘛...
Compared to other parts of a tree?
在晚餐过后 我们会进行生日交♥媾♥
And then after dinner, we will have birthday coitus.
你觉得这部分符合历史吗
Do you think that will also be historically accurate?
我猜会像其他开拓者的生命一样
I assume like the rest of frontier life,
既累人又简短
it'll be exhausting and short.
你才又累人又短小呢
You're exhausting and short.
斯图尔特 你会来哈雷的生日派对吧
Hey, Stuart, you're coming to Halley's party, right?
那当然
You bet.
而且 我住在那里又收到邀请
Plus, I live there and I was invited,
这已经比我十岁生日派对还赞了
so it's already better than my tenth birthday party.
太好了 你能带几样东西来吗
Great. Can you bring a few things?
行啊 你要什么
Sure. What do you need?
气球 彩带
Balloons, streamers,
冰块 零食 蹦跳城♥堡♥ 脸部彩绘颜料
ice, snacks, a bounce house, face painter,
还有几个小孩 他们家长会愿意替我说谎
and a couple kids whose parents are willing to lie and say
说他们是在我从未去过的"亲子班"认识我的
they know me from the Daddy and Me class I've never been to.
那你每周都跟哈雷去哪里了啊
Where do you and Halley go every week?
反正重要的是我一直陪在她身边
The important thing is we're together,
电影太暴♥力♥时 我都会捂上她眼睛
and if the movie gets too violent, I cover her eyes.
别太紧张这个派对
Don't stress about this party.
她才一岁 她什么都不会记得
She's one; she's not gonna remember.
之前我让她看自己的脚趾 她吓坏了
The other day I showed her her toe, and she was shocked.
派对不是为了孩子 是为了孩子她妈
It's not for the baby; it's for Bernadette.
她对错过
She's feeling guilty
生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory
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