生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S11E05
Part 3
Oct. 8, 2019, 10:35 a.m.
你想怎么样
What do you want?
我只是希望能让霍华德跟我现在一样生气
I just wish I could make Howard feel as angry as I'm feeling.
或许你可以做些他喜欢的事
Well, maybe you could do something he likes
让他妒忌你
and make him jealous.
比如什么
Like what?
你有没看过《汤姆·索亚历险记》
Have you ever read Tom Sawyer?
主人公调皮捣蛋 追求自♥由♥
没有
No.
家务 他喜欢做家务
Chores. He likes chores.
哪种家务
Ooh. What kind of chores?
我想想
Well,
你可以给烟雾探测器换电池
you could change the batteries in the smoke detectors.
那会让他嫉妒到发疯
That would drive him crazy.
好棒哦
That's great.
他一定会气得头顶都冒烟
Oh, he'll be so mad smoke will be coming out of his ears.
然后烟雾探测器就会探测到有烟
And then the smoke detectors will detect it.
慢着 等一下
Wait, wait, now, hold on.
你刚才为什么问我汤姆·索亚的事
Why'd you ask me about Tom Sawyer?
我只是对你很感兴趣
I'm just interested in you.
你这小嘴比你的苹果泥还甜呢
Well, you are sweeter than your applesauce.
我现在把等待期延长
Okay, I'm gonna extend the wait time and have it poll
再把模数转换器从最低位调到最高位
the A-to-D converter at the top of the loop instead of the bottom.
很厉害嘛
Oh. That's impressive.
这算什么 你去把大脑模型打开
You think that's impressive, take apart that brain model.
我的妈呀 梅花三 我选的就是这张牌
Oh my God-- three of clubs. That was my card!
你怎么变的...
How did you...?
以前我都是让牌出现在我的裤裆里
I used to make it appear in my pants,
可人力资源部不许我这么搞了
but HR said I had to stop doing that.
还需要等多久才能做测试
So, how much longer till we can test it?
编译还需要一段时间 估计得等几分钟吧
Well, it needs to compile, so it's gonna be a few minutes.
看来我们给自己争取到了一个休息时间
Sounds like we've earned ourselves a break.
你想不想听点尼尔·萨达卡
You want to hear some Neil Sedaka?
知道吗 这才是你最厉害的魔术
You know, that's your greatest magic trick,
这读心术真是太牛了
'cause you just read my mind.
♪ 我好爱 好爱 好爱我的挂历女孩 ♪
♪ I love, I love, I love my calendar girl ♪
♪ 美丽的月历女孩 ♪
♪ Yeah, sweet calendar girl ♪
♪ 我好爱 好爱 好爱我的月历女孩 ♪
♪ I love, I love, I love my calendar girl ♪
♪ 每一年的每一天 ♪
♪ Each and every day of the year ♪
♪ 一月 ♪
♪ January ♪
-♪ 你开始了... ♪ -哎哟哟
- ♪ You start the year all fine... ♪ - Well, well, well.
说自己忙得像蜜蜂 然而你俩却在跳舞
You say you're busy as bees, yet here you are, dancing.
虽然蜜蜂也会跳舞
Although I suppose bees do dance,
但人家是为了告诉其他蜜蜂花粉位置
but their dance lets other bees know where the pollen is,
而你们的舞可不是
and yours does not.
所以我的逻辑 尽管有些许的迂回
So my logic, despite that slight detour,
还是正确的
does track.
我们只是在等代码编译
We're just waiting for my code to compile.
你来干什么呀
What are you doing here?
我顺道来问你想不想和我去看电影
I stopped by to see if you wanted to go to the movies with me.
我很愿意
Well, I-I'd love to,
但我们马上就要进行测试了
but we're just about to test the interface.
可能要等一段时间
It could take a while.
好吧 兄弟 虽然不关我的事
Okay, buddy, it-- it's not my place,
但博纳黛特有点感觉被冷落了
but Bernadette's been feeling a little abandoned
因为你花太多时间待在实验室里了
with all the hours that you've been putting in.
那你还拉他去看电影
You just asked him to go to the movies.
是呀 但我跟他的关系就算是他婚后
Yeah, but our weird relationship was grandfathered
也同样享有特权 但你们的没有
into their marriage, and yours was not.
好的 我给烟雾探测器换了新电池
Okay, I put new batteries in the smoke detectors.
衣服洗了没
Did you do the laundry?
洗完了
I sure did.
他肯定气得头冒蒸气
He's gonna be steamed.
就像我熨他衬衫时用的熨斗一样
Just like his dress shirts.
至少他还有烤箱可以清理
At least he can still clean the oven,
所以应该没事
so that's something.
他想得美 你家的钢丝刷在哪里呀
Oh, that's what he thinks. Where's your steel wool?
给你
Right here.
我俩真是一对好搭档
We make quite the team.
那当然
Sure do.
两位 你们相信吗
Guys, you won't believe this.
我去学校看望霍华德和艾米
I stopped by the university to check in on Howard and Amy,
他俩玩得可开心呢
and they were having fun.
别担心 他回家以后就笑不出来了
Well, don't worry. He won't be having any fun when he gets home.
我把他最爱做的家务都做完了
I did all his favorite chores.
你在瞎说什么呢
What are you talking about?
霍华德最不喜欢做家务了
Howard hates doing chores.
等等 那为什么伯纳黛特告诉我...
Wait, then why would Bernadette tell me that...
伯纳黛特
Bernadette.
你是利用我出了名的好骗来帮你做清洁吗
Did you play on my well established gullibility to clean your house?
当然啦
Sure did.
我本该摔门而去
Well, I would storm out of here,
但手套和钢丝刷已经在我手里了
but I already have the gloves and the steel wool,
我本来也很喜欢清理烤箱 快让开
and I really do love cleaning an oven. Move.
她拐我做了所有的家务
She made me do all her chores,
这还不是她的原创
and it wasn't even her idea--
是偷《汤姆·索亚历险记》的招数
she stole it from Tom Sawyer.
得了吧 别发神经了
You know what? This is crazy.
人家霍华德和艾米是一起工作 别乱想了
Howard and Amy are working together-- get over it.
莱纳德 你干什么呢
Leonard, what are you doing?
"必要时得喊停"
"Knowing when to say when."
这不是什么大事
This is not a big deal.
这是一件大事
It is a big deal.
霍华德让艾米习惯了欢笑和音乐
Howard's getting Amy used to laughing and listening to music.
万一她回家也想玩这么疯呢
What if she expects that madness at home?
你说得有道理
Yeah, that is a good point.
你能把自己的感受说出来 我为你骄傲
I'm really proud of the way you're able to express your feelings.
谢谢 我只是太生气了
Thank you. I'm just so angry.
你知道 每个人都会生气的
You know, everyone gets angry.
爸比和妈咪也会生气
Even mommies and daddies.
你不会觉得现在应该"肯定他的行为"吧
You can't think this is the right time to "Validate his behavior."
那我们试试"父母统一战线"如何
Okay, what about "Presenting a united front"?
不如试试你溺爱他 让他永远无法成长吧
What about you coddling him and he's never gonna learn?
听着
Look.
你听起来很生气 我觉得你能够
You sound frustrated, and I'm really proud of the way
把自己的想法说出来 非常棒
you're able to state your opinion.
谢谢
Thank you.
等一下 不对
Wait, no, no.
你别用书上的东西对付我
Don't use that book on me.
等一下 什么书
W-Wait, what book?
佩妮一直在用博纳黛特的育儿书对付你
Penny's been using one of Bernadette's parenting books on you.
什么 他还不是一样
What? So has he.
你们凭什么把我当小孩对待
Wh-What makes you think you can treat me like a child?
你用的是芝麻街大鸟形状的洗发水
Your shampoo comes in a Big Bird bottle.
那是因为成人洗发水会辣到我的爷们眼睛
That's because the adult shampoo burns my man eyes.
你在忙什么呢
Hey, what are you working on?
我的天 你还在呢
Oh, my God, you're still here?
我当然还在啦
Well, of course I'm here.
我能理解你的感受
I know what you're going through.
真的吗 你家也有一个缺爱的印度人吗
Really? You have a needy Indian man in your house?
本来是有的 后来他到你家来了
I did, but then he came over here.
这就是咱们有孩子之后的模样吗
So is this how it's gonna be if we have kids?
你就这样把一切怪在我的头上
You're just gonna throw me under the bus?
如果你对孩子也像对谢尔顿一样 那就会
If you spoil them the way you do Sheldon, then, yeah.
我的办法很有用好嘛
Uh, my way was working.
我觉得你生气
Okay? I think you're just upset
是因为在某些方面你跟我没得比
because there are some things I am better than you at.
你不能把介词放在句子的结尾
Well, you can't end a sentence with a preposition,
所以你比我厉害的肯定不是语法
so clearly, not grammar.
你这么聪明 你猜你这句话聪不聪明
If you're so smart, was that a smart thing to say?
看情况 在我回答之前
That depends. Before I said it,
咱俩今晚的滚床单还有戏吗
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