生活大爆炸

The Big Bang Theory S11E22

Part 1 Oct. 8, 2019, 10:36 a.m.

你这是在干嘛
What-what are you doing?
红灯了所以我停下啊
The light is red so I came to a stop.
你开着偷来的警车后车厢还有死掉的妓♥女♥
You're in a stolen cop car with a dead hooker in the trunk.
你不必遵守交通规则啊
You don't have to obey traffic laws.
我知道我不必
I know I don't have to.
但选择遵守才是乐趣所在啊
The fun is choosing to.
你们没有来学院聚会啊
Hey. Missed you guys at the faculty mixer.
真应该来的甜点简直香蕉你个芭乐赞
Ah, you should have been there; dessert was bananas.
抱歉这话有点歧义甜点是派
Sorry, that was misleading. The dessert was pie,
这个派香蕉你个大西瓜赞
but the pie was bananas.
其实这个派是樱桃口味
Actually, the pie was cherry,
但吃起来这美味简直香蕉你个大樱桃
but the taste of the pie was... bananas.
这些聚会根本就是在浪费大学的钱
Those mixers are such a waste of university money.
如果学校少把钱花在
If they spent less money
这些琐碎的狗屁上多花钱在科学上
on frivolous nonsense and more money on science,
对大家都有好处
we'd all be better off.
你就是个理论物理学家
You're a theoretical physicist.
除了一个办公室跟一张白板你还需要什么
What more do you need than an office and a whiteboard?
某一天我的量子退相干导致熵减少的
Someday, my new formulas on entropy decrease
新公式将会需要测试
due to quantum decoherence will need to be tested
到时候就会需要资金
and that will require funding.
你的理论都挺抽象的
Your theories are pretty abstract.
我都不知道该怎么
I wouldn't even know how to
设计出证明它们的实验
design an experiment to prove them.
某实验物理学家如是说
Says the experimental physicist.
我知道大学可以从哪里削减支出了
Well, I know a place the university can make some cuts.
莱纳德拜拜了您那
Bye, Leonard.
慢着慢着
One second, one second.
他说的不无道理啊
He's got a point.
要想证实你的弦理论研究
In order to corroborate your string theory research,
你就得制♥造♥出一个黑洞
you'd have to create a black hole.
那不会毁掉地球吗
Wouldn't that destroy the Earth?
或许吧但大家都可以知道我是对的再入土
Perhaps, but we'd all go to the grave knowing I was right.
我想或许你可以制♥造♥个微型黑洞啊
I guess you could create a contained microscopic black hole.
有意思
Huh. Interesting.
欢迎回来莱纳德
Welcome back, Leonard.
抱歉你得卷铺盖了
Sorry, you're out.
我做什么了
What did I do?
正是如此
Exactly.
这个好好看
Ooh, this one's pretty.
我妈不会同意
Mm. My mother wouldn't approve;
露太多锁骨了
shows too much clavicle.
她把锁骨称为"胸部的迎宾脚踏垫"
She calls it "The bosom's welcome mat."
我真是等不及要喝醉
I can't wait to get drunk
然后在婚礼上跟她起争执了
and pick a fight with her at your wedding.
真的好难知道到底哪件我穿起来会好看
It's just so hard to tell what will look good on me.
不这只是让你知道个方向
No. This is just to give you ideas.
让你知道你是想要简单高雅款呢
You know, do-do you want something simple and elegant?
你想要拖尾[火车]吗
I mean, do you want a train?
大家在聊火车啊
Ooh, we're talking about trains.
不是你喜欢的那种火车
Not the kind of trains you like.
我喜欢所有火车啊蒸汽火车柴油火车
Oh, I like all kinds of trains-- steam, diesel,
煤炭火车高架列车子弹列车
coal, elevated, bullet.
你有本事就说出个我不喜欢的火车
I defy you to name a train that I don't like.
在婚纱后面的那种火车[拖尾]
The kind on the back of a wedding dress?
我完全没料到这个你厉害
I did not see that coming. Good job.
趁我们刚好在聊有关时尚的话题
But while we're on the subject of fashion,
我明天想跟大学要研究资金
I'm asking the university for some funding tomorrow.
我应该穿什么
What should I wear?
我有一件聚拢提升型胸罩可以借你穿
Mm. Well, I've got a push-up bra I can loan you
它总能让我得到免费酒水
that always gets me free drinks.
你想要多少经费
How much money are you asking for?
5亿
$500 million.
那我就直接不♥穿♥胸罩去了
Then I'd go no bra.
你要这么大一笔钱干什么啊
What do you need that kind of money for?
我想出了一个实验设计
I have figured out an experimental design
可以证实我最新的弦理论想法
that may corroborate my latest thinking on string theory.
我只需要2148台大功率激光器
I just need 2,148 high-power lasers
来把20微克的黄金压缩到足够小的质量
to compress 20 micrograms of gold into a small enough volume
从而创造出一个微型黑洞
to make a microscopic black hole.
点头就好了
Just nod.
谢尔顿他们不会给你5亿的
Sheldon, they're not gonna give you half a billion dollars.
连我都要不到那么多
I mean, they won't even give me that much
我可是保证了我能让人的大脑"返老还童"呢
and I keep promising I can make people's brains "grow younger."
你能吗
Can you?
不能
No. Shh.
但我需要啊这是唯一有办法解决
But I need it. It's the only way to settle the contradictions
重力与量子力学间矛盾的方法了
between gravity and quantum mechanics.
这要求的款项太大笔了你不能一次要这么多
Well, it's too much money, you can't ask for that all at once.
那我让他们分6期付款如何
Well, what if I ask for it in six easy installments
每次给8333万3333.33
of $83,333,333.33?
好吧那你去要个2千万如何
Okay. What if you asked for $20 million?
抱歉我是要做科学研究
I'm sorry, I'm trying to do science,
不是要请嘎嘎小姐来我生日表演
not hire Lady Gaga to come to my birthday.
你知道人家嘎嘎小姐是谁吗
Do you even know who Lady Gaga is?
我推断她应该是嘎嘎先生的老婆
Presumably, the wife of Lord Gaga.
谢尔顿其实佩妮说的有道理
Sheldon, you know, Penny's got a point.
有时候你想跟别人提一个大要求
Sometimes when you want something big from someone,
你得小心别一下就把别人给吓跑懂吗
you-you got to be careful not to scare them away, you know?
你得小火开始慢慢加料慢慢炖
You got to start small and-and build up slowly,
哪怕得炖他个足足八年
even if it takes eight years.
八个漫长的年头
Eight long years.
莫名精确啊
That's oddly specific.
你做过这件事吗
Have you ever done that?
没有
Nope.
用这个程度的大功率激光器阵列
So with this level of high-power laser array,
我们终于可以有办法
we would actually be able to solve
一劳永逸地解决黑洞信息悖论呢
the black hole information paradox once and for all.
非常出色那你需要多少研究资金呢
That's impressive, and how much funding were you looking for?
2千万
$20 million.
真的吗
Really?
你觉得你用2千万就能造出来吗
You think you can build that for $20 million?
下辈子吧
Not a chance.
抱歉那你为什么跟我要这数目
I'm sorry, then why are you asking me for it?
因为一旦你已经花了2千万
Because once you've spent $20 million,
你就很有可能再给我追加5千万
you're much more likely to give me an additional 50.
所以其实你的意思是只要有7千万
So actually, what you're saying is with $70 million,
你就能造出这个
you can build this.
我能理解您为何这么想但非也
I can see why you'd think that, but no.
你肯定不能去跟董事会的人说
You can't go to the board of trustees
你给了谢尔顿·库珀7千万美元
and say you gave Sheldon Cooper $70 million
但什么能拿出来的成果都没有
and have nothing to show for it.
不能你唯一保留颜面的方法就是再加一倍
No. The only way you'd be able to save face is to double down.
所以就是1亿4千万
So 140?
然后还得再加倍
And then double again.
2亿8千万吗
280?
然后有个好消息再将近双倍一次
And then-- good news-- not quite double again.
所以... 您怎么说
So, uh, what do you say?
我们说好了吗
We have a deal?
他拒绝了吗
He said no?
"不要"只有两个字
No. That's only a two letter word.
你得再加倍
You're gonna have to double down.
我也很遗憾谢尔顿但这种事常有
Well, I'm sorry, Sheldon, but this sort of thing happens.
科学家希格斯等了足足50年
Higgs had to wait almost 50 years
他们才终于建了一个大到足以证明他理论的对撞机
before they built a collider big enough to prove his theory.
50年吗
50 years?
但我现在就想玩到它
But I want to play with it now.
你得等等等到科学够进步了
You just have to wait for science to catch up
或者这科技技术变便宜了
or technology to get cheaper.
你想想比如DVD播放器
Think about, uh, DVD players--