无耻家庭

Shameless S04E01

Part 3 Jan. 8, 2020, 2:41 p.m.

I'll be back around 6:00.
别把家给烧了
Don't set the house on fire.
开玩笑的
Just kidding.
-不是吧 -必须的
- Really? - Oh, yeah.
我妈可能还会在你脸上涂油彩呢
Just wait till my mom paints your face.
周日早上没什么人竞拍"处♥女♥享用权"
Not much virginity-bidding action on Sunday morning.
你现在价格卖♥♥到多少了
What are you up to now?
725块
725.
"巨根约翰逊"
"Jumbo Johnson"?
听上去可能会有点吓人
Guy sounds like he could be kind of scary.
或者只是个大胖子罢了
Or just really fat.
再可怕也比不过我妈的新男友加里
Can't be scarier than my mom's new boyfriend, Gary.
至少这家伙准备付钱
At least this guy's prepared to pay for it.
有人竞拍我的初夜吗
Anybody bid on me yet?
没有
Uh, no.
不过你把起价设那么高没人拍也不奇怪
But not surprising with the minimum bid you set.
一百万
$1 million?
处♥女♥之身只能卖♥♥一次
You can only sell it once.
一定要让它奇货可居
Makes it an extremely rare commodity.
货源不足价格就高基本的经济学常识
Scarcity equals value. Basic economics.
你觉得我是在贱卖♥♥自己吗
You think I'm selling myself short?
就你而言我觉得是营销策略不对
Well, in your case, it's kind of false advertising.
十几个男人帮她做口碑营销呢
By, like, a couple dozen dudes.
你不会真的打给那个巨根约翰逊吧
You're not really going to call that Jumbo Johnson, are you?
应该不会
Probably not.
真不公平
It's not fair.
我那个傻♥逼♥弟弟比我还小一岁
My retarded brother is a year younger than me,
他竟然都开始长腋毛了
and he's already sprouting pit hair.
你可真是幸运儿
Hey, you're lucky.
至少你可以四处鬼混且不必担心怀孕
At least you can fool around and not worry about birth control.
你怎么会需要担心避孕问题艾丽
When did you ever worry about birth control, Ellie?
真丢人我都13岁了
It's embarrassing. I'm 13.
来吧我们去商场浪荡一下
Come on, let's get slutty and head over to the arcade,
勾搭高中男生那会让你心情好起来的
troll for high school boys. That'll cheer you up.
开门
Door!
开门
Door!
弗兰克
Frank?
大家都去哪儿了
Where is everybody?
伊恩离家出走利普上大学了
Ian ran away, Lip's at college,
黛比带着利亚姆去找她的荡♥妇♥朋友霍莉
Debbie took Liam somewhere with her skanky girlfriend, Holly.
-菲奥娜呢 -去看熊队比赛了
- Fiona? - Bears game.
她搞上了一个工作时认识的男人
She's banging some dude from work.
我们能拿到免费的杯子
We get free cups.
那好吧
Well, uh, okay.
祝你们好运
Good luck.
蘸酱真不错菲奥娜
Great dip, Fiona.
-谢谢 -看上去真美味
- Thanks. - Oh, it looks yummy.
朝鲜蓟味的吗
Artichoke?
-是啊加上墨西哥辣椒 -祖传秘方吗
- Yeah, and jalapeno. - Family recipe?
是啊必须的
Yeah, absolutely.
喂小细棍
Yo, stick!
-接住 -小细棍
- Catch! - Stick?
那个麦克小时候有点胖
Oh, well, Mike was a bit overweight as a kid.
有点
A bit?
你推一下他他圆得都能滚起来
If you pushed him over, he'd roll.
所以当他开始减肥以后
So when he started losing the weight,
-我们就叫他小细棍了 -才不是那个原因呢
- we started calling him stick. - That... that is not why.
而且也不是小细棍而是"小淫棍"
And it's not "Stick." It's "The Stick."
不不不对
No, no. No.
别说那事简
Don't tell that story, Jane.
事实是这样的
So here's the deal.
小麦的初恋女友艾米丽就住在街尾那位
Mikey's first girlfriend, Emily, from down the block...
她是那种骨瘦如柴的小姑娘
She was this, like, scrawny, little girl
然后有年夏天突然发育了
until one summer, boom!
突然之间她的身材就变得前♥凸♥后♥翘♥
All of a sudden she's got, like, this smoking little bod.
-简快别说了 -记得吗
- Jane, stop it. - Remember?
别说什么
Stop what?
我只是告诉菲奥娜关于艾米丽和小淫棍的故事
I'm just telling Fiona about Emily and The Stick.
-不要 -总之呢
- No! - So anyway...
-不要快停下 -艾米丽这个小姑娘
- No, come on. - Emily's this girl.
她的腿有这么长
She's got legs, like up to here,
她说什么你都别信
Don't listen to a word she says.
她纯粹是想报复我
She's still just trying to get even with me
因为我把她的一段录像
for sending that clip in
寄给了《美国家庭滑稽录像》栏目
to America's Funniest Home Videos.
那是因为那段录像一点都不好笑小麦
Well, that's 'cause that was not funny, Mikey, so...
好几百万人都觉得那很搞笑呢简
A couple million people thought it was funny, Jane.
你上过《美国家庭滑稽录像》吗
You were on Funniest Home Videos?
是啊她小时候模仿我们家狗狗的片段
Yeah, she used to, when she was a baby, imitate our dog.
麦克有客人在呢
Mike, we have a guest.
反正反正情况是这样的
Anyway... so anyway, here's the deal.
艾米丽来我们家的泳池玩
So Emily comes over to use our pool, right?
她穿了一件很露的比基尼
And she's got this, like, itty-bitty, little bikini on.
-好吧 -你一定记得的对吧
- All right. - I bet you remember, don't you?
雄鸡大战开始了
Chicken war!
快来快来跳到我背上去
Come on. Come on. Piggyback, come on.
我想听关于小淫棍的故事呢
I want to hear the thing about The Stick!
不不要那都是谎话
No, you don't. It's all lies.
-好了准备好了吗 -是的
- All right, come on. Ready? - Yeah.
马歇尔来了从边线进攻
Here comes Marshall, streaking down the sideline.
天啊打出了一记安打
Holy... the safety's out of position!
太棒了
Yes!
嘿[音似干草]
Hey.
-干草是给马吃的 -什么
- Hay is for horses. - Huh?
你找我有什么事吗
Can I help you with something?
老天啊
Oh, my.
你抓住他的脚
Well, you grab his feet,
我抓住他的头
and I'll grab the top end.
轻点轻点
Gentle, gentle.
天啊
Ooh, God!
把这个垫在下面怎么样滑过去
What about this as an under... scoop under?
弗兰克你脏死了脏得跟猪一样
Frank, you're filthy! You're filthy!
天啊
Jesus.
是有什么从他身上蹦出来了吗
Did something just jump off him?
大概是虫子吧
Bugs, I think.
3点钟方向打"虫群之心"的那个
3:00, playing "The Swarm."
他们只有两个人
There are only two.
我们可不打算给你和这个小屁孩做媒
We're not trolling for you and the baby biscuit, Ellie.
只有变♥态♥才会喜欢你俩的类型
Only pervs are gonna want any part of that.
我该选哪个
Which one should I like?
你就选那个穿着帽衫的
You like the one in the Autopsy hoodie,
我就选那个钱包链外露的
and I'll like the one with the wallet chain.
我们该怎么做直接走过去搭讪吗
So what do we do, just walk over and talk to them?
不亲爱的
No, honey.
我们要撒下网等着鱼儿自动上钩
We chum the waters, wait for the fish to bite.
你好我叫黛比
Hi. Debbie.
我叫马蒂马蒂
Matty. Matty.
来啊
Come on.
不不我不知道怎么...
Oh, no, no. I don't know how to...
-我完全不知道该怎么做 -上下
- I don't know what I'm doing. - Up, down.
不你跳得挺好的
No, you're doing really good.
-是吗 -比我好多了
- Yeah? - Better than me.
就是这样
That's it.
-你学会了 -上下
- You got it. - Up, down.
我们要给他再洗一次吗
Should we give him another bath?
已经洗三次了
Well, that's three already,
而且肥皂也用完了
and we're kind of running out of soap.
那些是不含谷蛋白的吗
These are gluten-free?
标牌上已经写明了
That's what the sign says.
-素的吗 -是大豆奶酪的没错
- And vegan? - Soy cheese, yeah.
有花生吗