无耻家庭

Shameless S06E11

Part 2 Jan. 7, 2020, 11:59 a.m.

我本该搬出去
I was supposed to move out,
但我最近手头有点紧
but I've been pretty strapped for cash.
你和前妻以及两个孩子就是住这里
This is the home you and your ex share with your two children?
是的没错
Yes, yes, it is.
直到她爱上了那个该死的共♥产♥主义婊♥子♥
Until she fell for that no good commie slut.
好吧你发现你的员工即将被遣返
Okay, you discover your employee's being deported.
随即你的多年伴侣就甩了你
Moments later, your live-in partner of many years dumps you
跑去市政厅嫁给了这个员工
then runs off to city hall to marry this employee
因为她们"相爱了"
because they're "In love."
你♥他♥妈♥能相信吗
Can you fucking believe that shit?
不能介意我上楼吗
No. Mind if I head upstairs?
我不清楚她们现在是否能会客
Well, I don't know if they're receiving any guests right now.
她们整天在上面操来操去
You know, they do a lot of gay sex up there.
移♥民♥局调查员莱斯特·希伯特
Agent Lester Hibbert here from USCIS.
常规突击检查穿好衣服告诉我一声
Routine unannounced check. Let me know when you're decent.
没问题
All good.
谢谢
Thank you.
费歇尔夫人及费歇尔夫人
Uh, Mrs. And Mrs. Fisher,
你们是否允许我翻看
do I have your, uh, permission to look around
你们的私人物品
at your personal belongings?
你随意我们毫无隐瞒
Oh, go on. We have nothing to hide.
少年警♥察♥训练项目
Junior police training program?
周二和周三
Tuesdays and Wednesdays.
4:30和7:30
4:30 and 7:30.
我现在开始提升绩点和健身了
Start raising my GPA, hit the gym.
你想让我做什么
And what do you want from me?
他们不允许出狱的少年犯加入项目
Well, they don't allow convicted juveniles in the program.
我想你也许能动用下关系
Thought maybe you could, uh, pull some strings.
你想成为警♥察♥学员
You want to be a police cadet?
把世界变得更好
Make the world a better place.
惩奸除恶保护人♥民♥
Stomp out evil, preserve humanity...
-是的 -你就成英雄了
- Yeah... - Boom, you're a hero.
你上次去买♥♥生活用品或是洗自己的衣服
When's the last time you bought a bag of groceries?
是什么时候
Or did your own laundry?
你知道履行公民义务之前要做什么吗
You know what comes before civic duty?
履行个人责任
Personal responsibility.
先在家做到自力更生再说
Own your shit at home first.
把糖浆递给我
Pass the syrup.
来吧
Come on.
能拿什么拿什么
Get everything you can.
进去吧
There ya go.
衬衫
Like shirts,
裤子之类的东西
pants, stuff like that.
看起来破烂的衣服
Raggedy looking stuff.
不错还有什么
Yeah, what else you got?
这几件不错
These are great.
我♥操♥
Oh, fuck.
是的隔壁正凿墙呢
Ah, yeah, they're gutting the building next door.
等下这里更吵
Hey, it's gonna get even noisier around here.
也许我们应该
Maybe we should,
去你家睡几晚
you know, crash at your place a couple nights?
等这儿弄完
Uh... just till shit calms down?
不行那儿更糟糕相信我
Nah, it's even worse over there. Trust me.
怎么糟糕
Worse in what way?
你不肯告诉我吗
You can't tell me?
-乱七八糟的 -我能受得了
- It's just chaotic. - I can do chaotic.
第一天紧张吗
So, nervous for your big day?
不紧张
No.
没更多的是兴奋
Nah, excited mostly.
我还以为这辈子都要做清洁工
Figured I'd be a janitor the rest of my life.
你还是要清理呕吐物倒垃圾
You're still gonna be cleaning up vomit and dumping garbage,
就是制♥服♥漂亮点
just in a fancier uniform.
工资也更好
Better pay too.
看看
Check it out.
火鸡三明治薯条苹果还有小惊喜
Turkey sandwich, chips, an apple, and a treat.
去拯救世界吧
Now go save lives.
没事
It's okay.
宝宝别哭
Don't cry.
你不能把在哭闹的孩子带进教室
Can't bring a crying baby to class.
那我至少可以拿走我的作业吧
Oh, can I at least pick up my assignments?
你得去找辅♥导♥员谈谈商量一下
You need to talk to the counselor and figure out
如何在家里完成学业
how to continue your studies at home.
可是我想毕业
Well, I want to finish school,
让我学习吧
so let me learn.
好啊第一堂课
Okay, here's a lesson:
记得用避孕套
use condoms.
他的双亲被歹毒的造♥反♥派打伤
His parents were mauled by vicious rebels.
他还患有艾滋大家行行好吧
He has AIDS. Please, give money.
干得好留着那二十块吃芒果吧
Yeah, save that 20 for a bag of Peruvian mangoes.
热带水果比濒死孤儿还重要
Tropical fruit is more important than a dying orphan.
继续抖很好
Keep shivering. That's really great.
他的免疫系统正在衰竭
His immune system is breaking down.
来自非洲的孤儿
请善心施舍
我们需要钱看病
We need money for doctors.
利明顿杂货店
你没有钱是吧
Oh, you have no money?
那你还有钱进杂货店买♥♥东西
And you're going into a grocery store?
有意思
Interesting.
这儿怎么突然变成了自习室
Ah, we're a study lounge all a sudden?
我正在校外完成我的助教工作
Well, I'm doing my TA work off campus.
你肯定会怀念那些养眼花瓶的兄弟
Aw, you're missing all that eye candy, man.
裹着小手套小围巾的火♥辣♥女学生们
Hot coeds wearing little mittens and scarves.
就像好时巧克力似的随时等着被你撕开
Ready to be unwrapped like little Hershey's Kisses.
兄弟我超怀念当防奸行者的日子
Man, I'm telling you, I miss my rape-walking days.
你很快就会烦的
It gets old pretty quick.
怎么在狗屁大学里遇到事了
What, did something go down at Screw U?
肯定是犯了大错
Oh, burn a bridge,
然后一跑了之加拉格家作风
run for the hills: The Gallagher Way.
我他妈没有逃避好吗
I'm not fucking running, okay?
只是做我该做的事
I'm just doin' what I gotta do.
什么老板让你这样低声下气
What kind of boss lets you lay low like that?
并没有
Didn't exactly let me.
如果你跟我玩这套
If you'd have pulled that shit with me,
老子立马炒了你
I'd have fired your ass so hard
让你身败名裂
you'd have left skid marks.
我不能丢掉助教工作
I can't lose my TA-ship.
否则我会被勒令退学懂吗
You know, I'd have to drop out, you know?
我很在意我的学业
And I care about my education,
而不像那些落伍的教授
you know, unlike these dinosaur professors
只会说些迂腐的屁话
spouting archaic bullshit,
在讲台上迷迷糊糊地混上三十年
just sleepwalking across chalkboards for 30 years.
可怜的孩子
Oh, poor baby.
坐在酒吧里
Sitting in a bar bitching
吐槽卑鄙的老师们和自♥由♥资金
about mean teachers and free grant money while
而我们这些人只愁着搬砖混口饭吃
the rest of us are shoveling shit just to make ends meet.
去你的
Fuck you.
小凯你那两位性感女同妻子怎么样了
So, Kev, how are your two hot lesbo wives doing?
假同性恋糟透了
Fake lesbos. It sucks.
在自己家却不能睡卧室
Think it's fun for me living out
你觉得很有趣吗
of a suitcase in my own home?
为什么非得那样
Why you gotta do that?
因为移♥民♥局的人早上七点
'Cause Immigration shows up
就到我家到处翻查
at 7 a.m. going through my shit
确认假女同性恋是真的女同性恋
to make sure that the fake lesbos are for real lesbos.
她们俩还要做♥爱♥
They gotta bang each other too?
你懂不懂"假"是什么意思
What part of the word "Fake" don't you get?
可我总是在这见到她俩相亲相爱
Ah, the part that always sees 'em in here bein' lovey-dovey.
还卿卿我我的
Oh, giggling and touching.
她们结婚了
They're bonding.
我会觉得被冷落吗没错是有点
Do I feel left out? Yeah, a little.
我喜欢小维交了个闺蜜吗