无耻家庭

Shameless S07E02

Part 7 Jan. 7, 2020, 11:02 a.m.

You must be from the Topless-Maid company.
真聪明
You're quick.
-我能进去吗 -当然
- Can I come in? - Yes.
当然
Yes.
我带你熟悉下环境
Let me show you around.
你也看见了屋里一团糟
As you can see, the place is a mess.
我需要你把衣服洗了
I'm gonna need you to do the laundry,
洗碗盘
wash the dishes,
擦地吸尘以及给家具除尘
clean the floors, vacuum, and dust the furniture.
可以吗天啊
Sound good? Okay!
不好意思
Wow. Sorry.
竟然真脱了
This is happening.
胸真够大的
Those are spectacular.
你能把它们塞进衣服里真让人惊讶
It's amazing how you stuffed them in there
现在这傲人双峰又秀了出来
and now they're out in all their glory.
我的天啊
Hallelujah.
我这是怎么了
What's happening to me?
我们给你用了大剂量可乐静
We gave you a jumbo dose of Thorazine.
我现在感觉软软的像棉花糖
My brain feels like cotton candy.
未来七十二小时里你都会是这种感觉
And that's the way you're gonna feel for the next 72 hours.
这样你的老二就不会勃起了
No way you get a boner on that shit.
不用再想着长毛的蛋蛋了
Don't have to think about hairy balls anymore.
什么
What?
你们最棒了
You guys are the best.
温蒂别误会
Wendy, don't get me wrong.
我很享受这一切
I like what's going on here,
但你今天还打扫卫生吗
but are you gonna be doing any cleaning today?
打扫卫生
Cleaning?
你没带消毒水
You didn't bring any Lysol
没带氨水也没带拖把什么的
or--or ammonia or a mop or anything.
你以为赤♥裸♥女佣服务还真打扫卫生啊
You thought a topless maid service actually did cleaning?
是啊
Yes.
你真可爱
That's cute.
给你
Here.
我的服务可以照单选择挑你喜欢的
My services are a la carte. Pick what you like.
-魔力地板清洁[全身漫游] -招牌之一
- Mop and glow. - That's one of my specialties.
我相信
I'm sure it is.
-管道冲洗[口♥活♥] -老家伙们喜欢这项
- Pipe cleaning. - Old dudes like that one.
巴西地板蜡
Brazilian floor wax.
这不是你想的那样
That's not what you think it is.
我都不知道自己是怎么想的
I have no idea what I think that is.
神奇吸水布[扇耳光]
Sham wow?
你终于决定回家了
Hey, you finally decided to come home.
你是不是骗我去和女人上♥床♥
Did you trick me into having sex with a woman?
什么
What?
这样你就不会对自己的所作所为感到愧疚了
So that you wouldn't feel bad about what you did?
你说什么呢
Look, what are you talking about?
你让我觉得我只喜欢男人很怪
You made me feel like a freak 'cause I'm only gay.
你怎么感觉是你的事
How you feel is on you.
因为你我睡了一个不认识的女生
I slept with some random chick 'cause of you.
我没有逼你做任何事
I didn't force you to do anything.
现在我身上还有她的发胶和身体的
I can still taste her hairspray and her pubes
味道
and her vagisitis.
那是你没选对人
You obviously picked the wrong woman.
别搞得好像是在说我
Don't turn this around on me.
奇怪的是你好吗不是我
You're the weirdo, all right? Not me.
就因为我时不时的想和女人做♥爱♥吗
Because I like to have sex with women once in a while?
-这不正常 -这很正常
- It's not normal. - It's very normal.
对同性恋不正常很恶心
Not if you're gay, it's not. It's disgusting.
那你别这么做就行了
Then don't do it anymore.
而且影响兴致
And it's a turnoff.
我你说我影响兴致
Me? I'm the turnoff?
你和女人睡觉
You sleep with women...
就是影响兴致
yeah.
那我们为什么还在一起
Then why are we even going out?
我也想不通这个问题
I keep asking myself the same thing.
-因为判断有误 -因为你睡女人
- Judgmental much? - Vagina-fucker much?
你怎么这么小孩
When did you become such a baby?
你怎么成了双
When did you become such a bisexual?
那到此为止吧
So that's it, then.
我同意
Yeah, I guess so.
-希望你过得好 -已经好起来了
- Have a nice life. - Already am.
凯文你干什么呢
Kevin, what are you doing?
我想到一个金点子
I got a great idea for a business.
-孩子们呢 -睡了
- Where are babies? - Sleeping.
-这是监控器 -房♥子打扫了吗
- Monitor. - Is the house clean?
问得好这正引出了我的
That is a great question, which is directly related
新点子
to my new business plan.
-就是没打扫呗 -正确
- So, no? - You are correct.
我雇的那个赤♥裸♥女佣更接近于三陪...
The topless maid that I hired was more of an escort--
-你雇了个赤♥裸♥女佣 -你和她睡了吗
- You hired a topless maid? - Did you have sex with her?
当然没有
Of course not.
那你以为赤♥裸♥女佣是干什么的凯文
What else did you think a topless-maid service did, Kev?
我关注的关键字是女佣
I was focused on the maid part
不是赤♥裸♥ 这才让我有了这个好主意
and not the topless part, which gave me this idea.
-转角女郎 -是的
- Nooks and Fannies? - Yes.
我们办一个女佣服务
We are gonna start a maid service
不仅有赤♥裸♥的部分
that is not only topless
而且真的打扫卫生垄断市场没问题
but also cleans; we'll corner the market.
你要我去打扫别人家
You expect me to clean someone else's house?
你不用最棒的就是这个部分
Don't have to. That's the genius part.
你们俩是赤♥裸♥的部分
You two are the boobs of the operation.
打扫部分归她
She's gonna do the cleaning.
我觉得几个女孩请我来
I think these girls just invited me
是为了让我带上你
so I'd bring you.
他好帅
Oh. He's--he's cute.
等等等下
Wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop, stop, stop.
-你好利普 -你好
- Hi, Lip. - Hey, hi.
喝点什么
What are you drinking?
啤酒
Uh, beer.
好的你想要点什么妹子
Okay. You want something, girl?
换身衣服好了你们看起来很不错
Uh, a change of clothes. You guys look great.
喝一杯吧会让你觉得自己很性感
Have a shot. It'll make you feel sexier.
两杯时代三杯野格记在我的账上
Uh, two Stellas and three shots of Jager, on my tab.
面试的时候我发现你有在看我
I saw you checking me out during my interview.
有那么明显
That obvious?
但是我喜欢
But I liked it.
谢谢
Thanks.
干杯老板
Cheers, boss.
谢谢
Thanks.
干杯
Cheers.
-我们去跳舞吧 -好
- Let's dance. - Yeah.
你知道吗
Just so you know...
我有个孩子还有个傻♥逼♥前男友
I have a kid and a stupid ex-boyfriend,
所以我不是玩真的
so I'm not looking for anything serious.
我刚刚被学校开除
Yeah, well, uh, I just got expelled from college
在康复中心待了30天所以
and did 30 days in rehab, so...
那我们真是天生一对
Then we're a perfect match.
那是阿丽尔的男朋友吗
Is that Ariel's boyfriend?
不是那是她在陌陌上认识的
No. She just met him on Tinder.
现在是去洗手间打一炮
Going to the bathroom to bang.
你玩陌陌吗
You on Tinder?
是对没有意义的随机约炮不感兴趣
Not into the meaningless, random hookup?
不是我更像是一个
Uh, no, I'm more of a
"从一段不正常的感情到另一段"的女孩
"One dysfunctional relationship into another" kind of girl.
-我得休息休息 -所以你才需要陌陌
- I'm taking a break. - This is why you need Tinder.
把手♥机♥给我
Give me your phone.
你可是个尤物
You're a hot piece of ass.
你得定期打打炮
You should be boning on the regs.
-我来给你拍张照 -我不知道
- Let's get you a picture. - I don't know.
陌陌上那些人总是会黏上你