外星居民（2021）

Resident Alien S02E05

Part 5 Feb. 25, 2022, 9:24 a.m.

今天天气不错
It is a nice day, and...
那里有个停车标志
that is a beautiful stop sign approaching.
看到了吗 -哪儿呢
You see it? - Where?
那里
There.
长点眼吧混♥蛋♥
Watch it, asshole!
够了从车上下去
Stop! That's it! Get out of that truck!
从没见过你这么烂的司机
You are the worst driver I've ever seen!
你真过分我刚开到兴头上
You're a jerk. I was finally having some fun.
该死
Damn it.
加油我们得快点演出要迟到了
Come on, we got to hurry. We'll be late for the play.
我不想把球还给他
I don't want to give the ball back.
我们别无选择
We have no choice.
要是客户给我评论 "绑♥架♥狗狗"
Do you know what a kidnapping review
我今后还怎么遛狗赚钱啊
will do to my whole dog-walking business?
等下
Wait.
这里有人来过卫星天线不见了
Someone's been here. The satellite dish is gone.
不要啊
Oh, no.
球呢
The ball.
谁拿走了
Who took it?
可能性只有一个
There's only one possibility.
阿斯塔
Asta.
哈利
Hey, Harry.
我得再次感谢你帮桑尼接生
Thank you so much again for helping Sunny with her baby.
你太厉害了
You were amazing.
小婴儿最好伺候了
They are easy when they are babies.
既不能逃走
They cannot run away yet
也不会害你差点被车撞死
or almost kill you in a car accident.
逃走莉莎走了吗
Run away? Did Liza leave?
在这呢 -青春期的女儿真头疼
- Uh, found her. - Oh, yep, teenage daughter.
哈利也许你该
Oh, Harry, maybe you should...
够了
No. That's it.
你投球的技术烂的
You are as bad at throwing
跟开车一样
as you are at driving!
饥渴矿工
as you are at driving!
看来我车技不错嘛
Well, I must be a pretty good driver, then,
因为你被我砸得像条落水狗
because you're soaking wet.
你是我所有女儿中最烂的那一个
You are the worst daughter that I have.
你只有我一个女儿傻帽儿
I am your only daughter, you idiot!
如果我还有个女儿她还很烂的话
If I had another daughter and she was bad,
你比她更烂
you would be worse!
住手吧两位
Please stop, you guys.
我们的气球数量有限
Uh, we only have a limited number of balloons.
朱迪你的着装紧扣主题这很好
And, Judy, uh, I-I appreciate you dressing on theme,
但是你能把乳♥沟♥也扣一下吗
but could you cover up the cleavage?
这里还有孩子
There are children here.
今天还有主题啊
There's a theme?
过分了
Not okay!
别啊
No! Hey!
别这样 -砸中了
Not... not okay. Hey! - Get him.
夏日乐趣夏日狂欢
Summer fun, summer high jinks.
听我说你们得收敛下
Listen, you got to take it down here.
嘿 -哈哈哈
Hey! - Ha ha ha!
好了够了啊
Okay, all right.
别这样
Not okay! Oh!
我知道山姆不是你杀的
I know you didn't kill Sam.
你这句话对我太重要了
you have no idea how much that means to me.
画鸟还是蝴蝶
Okay. Bird or butterfly?
给我画点宇宙星光之类的东西吧
Uh, I was thinking more of a Ziggy Stardust-type thing.
想法不错我喜欢过来吧
Oh, okay, I like it. Let's see now.
你吃东西时食物不会被唇环卡住吗
Does the food you eat ever get caught in your lip metal?
你真的变了
You're different than before,
脑损伤的那种
like, head-injury different.
但是真的变了 -是的我知道
You've changed. - Yes, I know.
你三年都没联♥系♥过我
You ghosted me for, like, three years.
我以为你讨厌我
I thought you hated me,
那你为什么来这儿
Then why did you come here?
说实话我心里也有点打鼓的
To be honest, I was afraid to.
我是说
I mean...
毕竟我也变了
I've changed, too, obviously.
我已经不是那个跟你一起钓鱼的小女孩了
I'm not the little girl you used to take fishing.
但你是我家人
But you're my family.
我以为这就足够了
I was hoping that'd be enough,
因为如果这都不够
'cause if it wasn't enough,
那我只能回那个该死的问题少年营了
I would have had to go back to that hellhole camp.
给他们打电♥话♥吧
Dial their phone number.
你好我是哈利·范德斯伯格医生
Hello, my name is Dr. Harry Vanderspeigle,
我女儿莉莎再也不会
and my daughter Liza isn't going to come back
回你们愚蠢的营地了
to your stupid camp.
就是很蠢
It is stupid.
你们都是大猪蹄子
You are stupid.
你要是再联♥系♥她
If you contact her again,
我就去找你和你家人
I will find you and your family.
够了够了
That should cover it.
帮我去赢个奖品呗
win me a prize?
我去给自己赢个奖品再考虑给你
I will win myself a prize and consider giving it to you.
没毛病
Fair enough.
好了又到了52届家庭日
All right, time for the 52nd Annual Family Day
吃辣椒比赛了
Hot Chili Pepper Eating Contest.
你得多吃点
You should eat more.
我只是先吃点东西垫下
No. Need to line the stomach.
相信我吧我从13岁起每年都是这比赛的冠军
Trust me, I've won this contest every year since I was 13,
除了有一年被一个埃塞俄比亚交换生
except the year that Ethiopian exchange student
半路截胡
threw me for a loop.
比尼亚姆 -你一定会赢的
Biniyam! - You're so gonna win.
看到桌子旁其他对手了吗
Have you seen everyone else at the table?
他们都像成年人一样
They're all, like, adults.
我就是成年人啊
I'm an adult.
得了吧你才不是 -好了
- Shut up. No, you're not. - Okay.
请所有剩余参赛者
Will all remaining entrants
走到桌子旁好吗
please make their way to the table?
开始吧 -加油达西
Let's get started. - Whoo! Let's go, D'arce!
我一直在练习吃辣辣的东西
I've been practicing with, like, hot things...
你知道把那种又大又辣的东西放嘴里
Like, getting, like, big, hot things in my mouth.
但吃辣椒还是头一回
I mean, this is the first time its pepper.
好了马上就要开始了
Okay, we are just about to start.
你在干嘛 -怎么了我喜欢吃辛辣的食物
- What are you doing? - What? I love spicy food.
这不是 "辛辣的食物"
This isn't spicy food.
这玩意哪怕放一点点进去
This is the stuff they put a tiny bit of in
食物就会很辣
to make spicy food.
你是怕我打败你吗 -我是怕你会死
- Afraid I'm going to beat you? - I'm afraid you're gonna die.
既指输掉比赛又指给某人口♥交♥
You're going down this year, skank.
没你输得那么频繁 -这话不错
- Not as often as you. - True, true.
首先要吃的是一种香蕉胡椒
First up is a very mild banana pepper.
开始
Eat!
不行了辣死我了
I'm on fire!
不不不我退出
Nope, nope, nope, I'm out! I'm out!
算了算了
Ow. No, no, no.
医生你好嗯
Oh, hey, Doc, um...
能私下跟你聊聊吗
can I talk to you in private for a minute?
这外星人不错
Nice alien.
谢谢我爸帮我偷的
Thanks. My dad stole it for me.
这这有点不合法
Oh, that... that's a little bit illegal.
它超级便宜所以
It's, like, super cheap, so...
是啊但这是原则问题
Yeah, doesn't really... it's more the principle.
好吧 -这里
- Okay. - Here.
听着我长话短说
Look, uh, I'll make this quick.
好吧两周前我带我爸去做了活检
All right, um, two weeks ago, I took my dad to get a biopsy,
但我不记得带他去了
except I don't remember taking him.
事实上我什么都不记得了
I don't remember anything... as a matter of fact,
我不记得那天发生的任何事
I don't remember anything about that day at all