外星居民（2021）

Resident Alien S02E01

Part 3 Feb. 8, 2022, 7:48 p.m.

We have a little situation here.
为什么我的"欢迎来到佩西恩斯"牌子
Why is my "Welcome to Patience" sign
在办公室碎得稀巴烂
in pieces all over my office?
吉米·福斯特的应急刹车在威尔考克斯街失灵了
Jimmy Foster's emergency brake failed over on Wilcox.
他的皮卡车把牌子撞坏了
His pickup took the sign out.
街头警队不知道该怎么办
Street crew didn't know what to do with it,
所以我告诉他把事情交给你处理而不是我
so I told him to file it under your problem, not mine.
我们是不是有什么误会警长
We gonna have a problem here, Sheriff?
你脚上穿的是什么鬼
What the hell is that on your foot?
我想这个街头用语应该叫乡巴佬
Oh, I think the street term for them is, uh, shitkickers.
好吧
Oh, okay.
等我用记号♥笔在你脚上画个小♥弟♥弟♥
Let's see what they're called after
我们再看看叫啥鞋
I Sharpie a tiny dick on the toe.
我把脚放下来了
I am putting my foot on the ground,
但这不是因为你的威胁
but not because you are threatening me.
刚刚的姿势正好加重了我的坐骨神经痛
That leg position happens to be aggravating my sciatica.
场地关闭了
Field's closed!
才没有
No, it's not.
你听见了场地关闭了
You heard him. Field's closed.
地下污水泄露了
There's an underground sewage leak.
维修队已经在路上了
Crew's on the way.
不像是污水泄露啊
It doesn't look like a sewage leak.
看起来
It doesn't look like
你不能理解什么叫"地下"
you understand what the word underground means either.
请吧
Go ahead.
穿过场地把污水粒子
Walk across the field and breathe the sewage particulates
吸进肺里
into your lungs.
在感染的第二天你们的结肠就会梗阻
By day two of the infection, your colon blocks off
大便会从你们的眼睛里冒出来
and poop comes out of your eyes.
这叫眼泻
It's called eye-arrhea.
告诉过你们了
Yeah, I told you.
是真的吗
Is that true?
我不想吸入大便粒子
I don't wanna breathe poop particles.
不我瞎编的
No, I made it up.
我行动敏捷
I'm quick on my feet,
当我成为登上火星第一人时这会大有益处
which will be great when I'm the first person on Mars.
不是第一位女性是第一人
Not first woman, first person.
- 它在哪里呢 - 萨哈
- Now where is it? - Sahar!
我没事没事
I'm okay. I'm okay.
像他这样的头部创伤不算罕见
It's not uncommon with head injuries like his.
他需要静养
He needs rest.
大概率会在短时间内恢复记忆
He will likely regain his memory again soon.
主要是需要人来照顾他
Mainly just needs somebody to keep an eye on him.
好的谢谢
Okay, thanks.
我肯定会看着...
I will definitely keep my eye...
坏了
Oh, no.
马克斯该吃午饭了
Max, time for lunch.
马克斯
Max?
正常
Normal.
你这是干嘛我没生病
Why are you doing this? I'm not sick.
你去过外太空所以你成为了我的小白鼠
You've been to outer space, which makes you my Guinea pig.
在我去火星之前我需要知道太空飞行
I need to know the effect of space flight
对人体产生的影响
on the human body before I go to Mars.
你有头晕过吗
Have you experienced any dizzy spells?
没有
No.
- 快速衰老呢 - 没有
- Rapid aging? - No.
智能的提高呢
Increased intellectual capability?
什么
What?
那就是没有了
That's a no.
马♥克♥思♥
Max!
惨了倒霉鬼来了
Uh-oh, we got a bogey.
伙计你干嘛呢
Buddy, what are you doing?
你不能说走就走了啊
You can't just leave the house like that.
你妈妈要急疯了好吗
Your mother is worried sick, all right?
我们赶紧走
Let's... let's go.
愣着干嘛走吧赶紧的
What are you waiting for? Let's go. Come on.
我们去市政厅和你妈妈会合
We're meeting your mom at the town hall.
赶紧走了
Come on. Let's go.
好的我们我们走吧
Okay. Yeah, let's... let's go.
- 萨哈你要搭便车吗 - 是的谢谢
- Sahar, do you need a ride? - Yes, please.
把你们的自行车推上我们车上见
Get your bikes. Meet me at the car.
好的放下你们的包帽子和手套
All right, drop your bags! Hats and gloves!
- 我们现在热身 - 糟了
- Let's get out there warming up! - Oh, no.
快点
Out!
太棒了干得好达茜
Yes! Way to go, D'arce!
为什么可爱的人总是最慢的
Why are the cute ones always the slowest?
我们赢了吗
Did we win?
打得漂亮荡♥妇♥
Hey, hey, hey. Nice play, skank.
这可是你第一次没让别人偷了本垒
First time you didn't let a guy get to home base.
你知道吗你应该好好为球队效力
Oh, you know what? You should try out for the team
毕竟你的外号♥就是女球童
'cause your nickname is already ball girl.
还有朱迪·杜迪普珀·库珀袋装·午餐
And Judy Doodie, Pooper Cooper, Sack Lunch.
等一下
Hold up.
你头发怎么了新染的吗
What'd you do to your hair? Is that new?
没什么
Oh, nothing.
我染好长时间了
I mean, I've just had... Had this for a long time.
我的天哪
Oh, my God.
这个样式和你头发一样吗
Is it, like, the same as yours?
- 一模一样 - 好怪哦
- They're the same. - That's so weird.
- 是挺怪 - 不是吧
- So weird. - What?
算了这个是给我的吗
Anyway, is this for me?
- 谢了 - 现在是了
- Thank you. - Now it is.
女袭击者的眼距
The female assailant's eyes,
比较远还是很近
were they close together or apart?
很远... 我觉得
Mm. Far apart, I... I think.
他们来吃晚餐的那晚
I wasn't paying a... A whole lot of attention
我并没有非常留意
the night they came over for dinner.
发生了一起鱼类事故
There was a fish incident.
在冲突中
And then during the fight,
我也并没有很清楚地看到因为我你知道的
I didn't really get a good look either as I was... you know,
我基本是从背后打到她的
I was really hitting her mostly from behind.
没错就是这样
Oh, hell yeah, you were.
他太牛了你应该亲眼看看
He was amazing. You should have seen him.
太帅了
It was so hot.
你懂吧
You know how it is
当你的男人专注于工作
when your man just takes care of business.
是的我们家那位常常沉迷于许多工作
Yeah, my man takes care of a lot of business so often,
一直如此
like, all of the time.
女袭击者的鼻子...
The female assailant's nose was it...
细长吗
Thin?
是的她... 她有那种
Yeah, she... she had kind of, like,
- 迪士尼公主的鼻子 - 好的
- a Disney princess nose. - Mm-hmm.
然后她有一次把头转过来了
And she... she turned her head once, you know,
在我敲打她的时候
as I was, uh, pounding her.
- 敲打她 - 然后他们一直试图起身
- Pounding her. - And they kept trying to get up
然后我们我们就一直打
and we just... we just kept on hitting.
- 打 - 一直打
- Hitting. - And hitting.
又打又撞又打又撞
And hitting and hitting and hitting.
然后打然后她就
And hitting and... and then... and then she did.
她就最后转过头来
She... she turned her head at the end.
- 血流满地 - 是的细长的
- Blood everywhere. - And yeah, thin.
我能喝杯水吗
Can I have a glass of water?
这主意太棒了
I think that would be a great idea.
好吧我现在简直欲♥火♥焚身啊
Okay, I am so turned on right now
我想一把扯掉你的衣服
I just wanna rip your clothes off.
好的
Okay.
呕给你水
Ew. Here you go.
谢谢
Thank you.
好嘞
Okey-doke.
我们谈谈她的嘴型吧
Let's, um, talk about her lips.
天啊