外星居民（2021）

Resident Alien S02E02

Part 2 Feb. 8, 2022, 7:48 p.m.

You... that's a great price, by the way.
你在变成人类的一员看看你现在的人味儿
You're becoming one of them. Look how human you are.
你甚至很容易受到同族的攻击
You're even vulnerable to your own people's attack.
我没有因为我会在你的章鱼体上剪个洞
I am not because I will cut a hole in your octopus body
然后把它当成章鱼皮防护服穿起来
and wear you as a protective octo-suit
如果他们真的过来清除全人类的话
when they come to eradicate all human life.
真叫人伤心这就是你的待客之道吗
Wow, is this how you treat a house guest?
幸好我没给你带礼物
Then I'm glad I didn't get you a gift.
谁碰了这个
Who has touched this?
那个小混♥蛋♥
That little shit bucket.
很好小傻♥逼♥ 跟我的外星科技玩玩吧
Okay, little dickhead. Play with my alien technology.
你马上就要遭报应了臭小子
You deserve what's going to happen to you.
噢噢哇哦哇哦
Oh, oh, wow. Whoa, whoa.
哇哦
Whoa! Whoa.
既然我的同族要来到地球杀光全人类
With my people coming to kill everyone on Earth,
我就需要一个能够生存的地堡
I will need a bunker to survive.
我会把它修好把它送给Asta
I will fix it up and present it
当做她的新家
to Asta as her new home.
我们会存活
We will live,
而那些喝啤酒的蠢货都会被烤焦
and all the beer-drinking douchebags can fry.
-祝你今天愉快 - 多谢
- Have a good day. - Thanks.
- 噢本 - 怎么了
- Oh, Ben. - Yeah?
你不是认真的吧她不能当新医生
Are you serious? She cannot be the new doctor.
史默伍德医生是个了不起的内科医生
Dr. Smallwood is a wonderful physician.
要知道她可是从哈佛医学院毕业的
You know, she was part of the first stream of women
第一批女性
to graduate from Harvard medical school.
是啊上世纪四十年代的事了
Yeah, in the 1940s.
数十年的从医经历
Years of experience.
你是那个断了手的小女孩吗
Are you the little girl with the broken arm?
不我还是那个护士
No, I'm still the nurse.
你的病人在走廊那头等你
Your patient is down that hallway.
谢谢你亲爱的
Thank you, dear.
你好我是史默伍德医生很高兴再次见到你
Hello there, Dr. Smallwood. It's nice to see you again.
你好我一眼就能认出霍索恩家的人
Hello, I know a Hawthorne when I see one.
啊一如既往地干得漂亮
Ah, top of her game, as always.
向你的孪生兄弟市长先生送上祝福
Send my best to your twin brother, the mayor.
告诉他我觉得他干得太棒了
Tell him I think he's doing a dynamite job.
我会的
I will do that.
能请你叫伊森医生回来吗
Can you please tell Dr. Ethan to come back?
他给我发了消息
He texted me.
他家出了急事他不会回来了
There was a family emergency. He can't come back.
那我要怎么办现在只有我一个人
What am I supposed to do? I'm here all alone.
-她很有经验的 - 阿斯塔阿斯塔快来
- She's very experienced. - Asta, Asta, come on.
走吧别耽误时间了
Let's go. Time's a-wasting.
抱歉达茜我现在走不了
Sorry, D'arce. I can't leave.
史默伍德医生刚接手而且还有很多事
Dr. Smallwood just started, and it's pretty rough.
史默伍德医生你在说什么
Dr. Smallwood? What are you talking about?
她已经去世了三十年
She's been dead for like 30 years.
你好
Hello.
- 鬼啊 - 我刚看到你的弟了
- Oh, God, ghost. - I just saw your brother.
听着会没事的艾伦也在这
Look, it'll be fine. Ellen's here.
你就好好享受休假吧好吗
Please go enjoy your day off, okay?
市长的命令
Mayor's orders.
在她开始用四肢在天花板上爬行之前
Yeah, let's get the heck out of here before she starts
我们赶紧离开这里
crawling around on the ceiling on all fours.
- 走吧 - 好的
- Come on. - Okay, okay.
我去拿我的东西
I'll get my things.
你有...明天还会下雨吗
Have you... is it supposed to rain tomorrow still?
你为什么这么奇怪
Why are you acting so weird?
- 什么 - 我的老天
- What? - Oh, my God.
你是因为上周亲了我感到尴尬吗
Are you uncomfortable because you kissed me last week?
哇一定要在公共场合这么大声说出来吗
Wow, just gonna shout that in public.
真是"棒极了"
That's wonderful.
实际上是你亲了我
It was actually you who kissed me.
不认真的吗不是这样的
Oh, no siree, no. That's not how it went down.
- 就是这样 - 你想要我还原一下场景吗
- It is how it went down. - You want me to reenact it?
听着我来演你你来演我然后我会亲你
Look, I'll be you, you be me, and I'll kiss you.
摸你的屁♥股♥ 让你知道你都干了什么
Grab your butt, and show you how you did it.
过来快过来
Come on. Come on over here.
- 不不用了 - 我要展示一遍
- No, no. - I'll demonstrate.
- 真搞笑 - 你就是这样
- Very funny. - That's how you were.
你摸我屁♥股♥ 你摸我屁♥股♥
Oh, you're touching my butt. You're touching my butt.
- 没没没 - 你摸我屁♥股♥
- Nope. - You're touching my butt.
我没有摸她
I didn't touch her...
顺便说下我喜欢新标语
Oh, I love the new sign, by the way.
我要把这人送进监狱
I want this person arrested.
你知道是谁干得吗
You even know who did it?
欢迎光临佩西恩斯
很明显杰瑟普的市长
Pretty obvious, mayor of Jessup.
你没看过他的反佩西恩斯广♥告♥吗
Didn't you see his anti-Patience ad?
是的很糟糕
Yeah, it's horrible.
不过我很期待麦田迷宫
Ooh, looking forward to the corn maze though.
我也是我听过传言说七十年代有小孩
Oh, me too, I heard a rumor, back in the '70s, a kid
在里面迷路了两周不得不吃了他的朋友
got lost in it for two weeks and had to eat his friend.
看到没真是个好迷宫呢
Now, see, that's a goddamn good maze.
在杰瑟普小孩吃小孩都没问题
Sure, kids eating kids is fine in Jessup.
我们在湖里发现了一只脚
We find one foot in our lake,
突然间人们就觉得我们的镇不安全
suddenly people think our town isn't safe.
还有一名小镇医生被残忍♥杀害
Brutal murder of a town doctor didn't help.
接替的医生也失踪了
Well, and the next doctor disappearing.
我是说人们不会人间蒸发
I mean, people just don't vanish.
绑♥架♥者仍逍遥法外
Kidnapper's still on the loose.
标识牌必须拆下来
And the whole sign's coming down.
很快这些都会结束
Soon all of this will be over.
人类无休止的消费和暴食都会停止
Their unending consumption and gluttony will be done,
我和阿斯塔在地堡中会很安全
and Asta and I will be safe in the bunker.
但如果大家都死了
But if everyone is gone,
谁来清理地堡
who will keep the bunker clean?
我讨厌清洁工作
I hate cleaning,
从阿斯塔的车来看
and from the look of Asta's car,
她真的有洁癖
she's a real piglet.
- 还要咖啡吗 - 谢谢
- More coffee? - Great.
或许阿斯塔壮实的父亲
Maybe Asta's giant father could be
可以和我们一起去地堡
in the bunker with us.
他可以做饭和清洁
He can cook and clean,
他的须后水闻起来像油炸锅
and his aftershave smells like fryer grease.
不这行不通他们是父女
No, it wouldn't work. They are father and daughter.
他们可能针对我反而让我成仆人
They may turn against me and make me their servant.
- 你看起来很疲惫 - 是的
- You look tired. - I am.
我的梦变得很邪恶
My dreams have turned evil.
听起来是噩梦
Sounds like a nightmare,
这是大脑对付恐惧或愧疚的方式
mind's way of working out fear or guilt.
发生什么了哈利
So what's going on, Harry?
我建了个能把阿斯塔从灭绝事件中
I'm building a bunker to save Asta
拯救出来的地堡并且准备把你锁在外面
from a total extinction event, and I'm going to lock you out
然后用扫把把你的骨灰清理干净
and then sweep up your ashes with a dustpan.
没什么
Nothing.
佩西恩斯运动用品店
我们真的很需要放假
You know, we really need this.
我们的工作太辛苦了
We work way too hard.
达茜你今天本来应该工作的
You're actually supposed to be working today, D'arce.
《过载》本该是金属乐队的回归专辑
Well "Load" was supposed to be Metallica's comeback album,
但生活就是变化无常
but life comes at you fast.
你能至少把这些三明治
Can you at least take these sandwiches
带到绵羊牧场的贵宾区吗
down to the VIP group in Sheep's Meadow?
然后请不要在旅行团前恶作剧
And please don't moon the tour groups.
没问题我们会看着办
You got it, and we'll see.
出发吧
Ready to go.
好耶
Yeah, baby, whoo!
- 朝着正前方 - 冲啊
- Dead ahead! - Dead ahead!
拿稳了不然你会被割伤的
Hold still. You're gonna get cut.
我一直知道我比同龄人早熟