外星居民（2021）

Resident Alien S02E05

Part 4 Feb. 25, 2022, 9:24 a.m.

我确实有些蔬菜
I did have some vegetables,
但上面好像长毛了
but they grew organisms on them.
你知道我不能吃麸质的
You know I can't eat gluten.
你是忘了还是想故意害我
Did you forget that, or are you purposely trying to kill me?
你吃麸质会死吗
Would gluten kill you?
我还是饿着肚子吧
- I'll just starve. - Mm.
你得给我的少管营打电♥话♥ 说我和你在一起
You need to call my boot camp and tell them that I'm with you
说我生病了不能回去了
and I'm too sick to go back.
这不是撒谎吗
That would be lying.
撒谎不好小姐
Lying is bad, young lady.
我得管管你了
I will now discipline you
罚你晚饭取消直接上♥床♥睡觉
by sending you to bed without supper.
我之前早说过了
I already told you...
我才不要吃你的意面肠子会爆的
I'm not going to eat your shitty gut-bomb pasta.
行吧行
Fine. Fine. Fine.
你不吃我吃
More... more gluten for me.
吃得开心
Enjoy.
开心着呢
I am.
我知道你觉得自己与众不同
I know you feel like you're different.
你的确与众不同
You are different.
你可以看到事情的真♥相♥
You can see what's going on.
你可以看到外星人
Aliens are real.
副警长你在哪
Hey, uh, Deputy, where are you?
你一小时前就该回来了
That car was supposed to be back an hour ago.
我在超♥市♥呢买♥♥了点
Uh, just at the market picking up supplies
休息室要用的东西 -哦副警长
for the break room. - Hey, uh, Dep.
既然你都在超♥市♥了
You know what? While you're there,
顺便帮我买♥♥张彩票吧
go ahead and pick me up a lotto ticket.
帮克莱特斯也买♥♥一张
Go ahead pick up one for Cletus, too.
没问题警长
Sure thing, Sheriff.
你想来张彩票吗
You want a lotto ticket? -
你在吉米家过夜了
You spent the night at Jimmy's?
不是你想的那样 -你什么毛病啊
- It's not what you think. - What is wrong with you?
这个混♥蛋♥站你面前你是怎么做到
How do you even get within ten feet of that creep
忍♥住不把他脸撕下来的
without ripping his face off? - Shh.
我们帮我表妹一起接生了
We had to deliver my cousin Sunny's baby, okay?
我当时脑子就乱了
It messed with my head.
你完全可以打电♥话♥给你朋友啊
Okay, great. So call your friends.
你不懂的 -看来我真不懂
- You don't understand. - No, I really don't.
但吉米懂所以我想跟他聊这事
Well, Jimmy does, so it's not a terrible surprise
而不是你这也没啥不行吧
that I want to talk to him about it and not you.
我只是不想看着自己的亲闺蜜
I guess I'm just somebody who doesn't like watching
毁掉自己的生活
their best friend ruin their life.
哦是吗
Oh, really?
你觉得我能干出这种事啊
And that's just something for me to do?
你是啥意思
What is that supposed to mean?
你以为我不知道你喝多了
You think I don't know that you come in here
来这里输液的事
for hangover IVs?
抱歉了达西
Sorry, D'arcy.
真的要聊闺蜜毁掉生活这事吗
You want to talk about watching friends ruin lives?
那咱们就来聊聊呗 -我觉得挺奇怪的
Let's talk about it. - You know, it's weird.
在我帮助杰之前
You didn't seem worried about this
你根本不关心这些
until I started helping Jay.
你真的觉得
Oh, is that what you're doing?
你在 "帮" 她啊
You're "helping" her?
对
Yes.
她需要一个能谈心的人
She needs somebody to talk to.
我给的约会建议她或许能听进去
Maybe she'll listen to my dating advice.
就你也配给别人提供
I'm not so sure you're the best person
约会男人的建议啊
to be giving advice about men.
达西
D'arce.
好吧
Okay.
墨菲呢
Where's Murphy?
如果你还想再见到自家狗狗
"If you ever want to see your dog again,
就用我的外星球来换外星人
return my alien ball... Alien."
它都不是你的狗
It's not even your dog.
我们又赢一局 -我们没有
We win again. - No, we don't.
照顾墨菲是我的责任
Murphy's my responsibility.
她主人付钱让我遛狗的
Her owners pay me to walk her.
我们得把她找回来
We have to get her back.
人类痴迷于宠物
Humans are obsessed with pets.
如果我把这块流口水的皮毛送给莉莎
If I give Liza this slobbering lump of fur,
她就会把心思全放在这条狗身上
she will become so distracted taking care of the dog,
我就不用把心思放她身上了
I won't have to take care of her.
莉莎亲爱的孩子我要送你个礼物
Liza, dear child, I have a gift for you.
一条狗吗
A dog?
你送我条狗做什么
What am I supposed to do with that thing?
妈妈对狗过敏你知道的
You know mom's allergic.
出师未捷啊
This will be more difficult than I first thought.
你看不到我的笑容吗宝贝
Can't you see me smiling, baby?
你看不到我的面庞吗
Can't you see this face of mine?
你看不到我的疲惫吗
Can't you see I'm getting tired?
尽管我似乎一切都好
Even though I seem all right
我担心的不是我的生活
It's not my life I'm worried about
不是我的身体我不在乎自己软弱还是坚强
Or my health, if it's weak or strong
是我想要的女孩
Ooh, it's just who I need, girl
我伤害的人
And who I hurt
不是这里有
No, there's a...
你
You...
入口处家庭活动日
Got the balloon arch going.
这个雕塑老采矿人看着很不错
This guy, old prospector... looking great, everyone.
你好啊凯拉 -凯特
- Hi, Kayla. - Hey, Kate.
这个摊位应该
Uh, isn't the booth supposed to be
再退后几尺吧 -对不过那里有石头
just back a couple feet? - Yeah, there was a rock there.
所有摊位之间的距离都是30英尺
See, all the booths are supposed to be 30 feet apart.
你知道对称之美
Did you know that the human brain
可以引起人类舒适吗
gets pleasure from symmetry?
你知道被石头绊倒
Did you know that the human ankle gets pain
可以引起人类脚踝疼吗
from breaking itself on a rock?
天不要啊
Oh, no.
这个杀人犯怎么也在
Why is there a murderer here?
被证明有罪之前她都是无辜的 -无辜的
- Innocent until proven guilty. - Innocent?
她手里就有武器啊
She's holding a weapon.
亲那是画笔 -是武器
- Honey, it's a paintbrush. - That's a weapon.
嗨想在脸上画点什么呢
"Hi. What would you like me to paint on your face...
一只可爱的小鸟吗
A nice little birdie?"
刺死这个孩子刺死你
"Take that kid."
给我看好她
Keep an eye on her.
见到你很高兴
It's good to see you.
这也太蠢了 -一点都不蠢
- This is stupid. - It is not stupid.
今天是 "佩兴斯家庭日"
This is Patience Family Day.
我们是一家人住在佩兴斯
We are a family in Patience,
佩兴斯的全家老少家这一天就得做这个
and this is what families in Patience do on this day.
她要是跟我在家再多待一秒
If she were home with me for one more second,
我就要杀了她投喂章鱼哥了
I would kill her and feed her to my hungry octopus.
我可以开车吗
Can I at least drive?
能别再逼叨逼了吗 -可以
- Will you stop complaining? - Yes.
好的 -太好了
- Okay. - Yes!
快点
Hurry.
好的
Okay.
别撞死哈
Okay. Try not to kill us.
别担心没事的
Calm down. It's fine.
一整个噩梦啊
This is a nightmare.
人类父母是如何做到在不被吓死的情况下
How do human parents teach driving to their children
教孩子开车的
without being terrified?
这声音是车在告诉你要换挡了
The truck sounds like it wants you to shift now.
对了放点音乐听
Oh, let's put on some tunes.
当心
Wait, watch out!
"后座司机" 是指坐在后排瞎指挥司机开车的乘客
- Stop being a backseat driver. - There is no back seat.
这是辆卡车
It is a truck.