外星居民（2021）

Resident Alien S02E02

Part 6 Feb. 8, 2022, 7:48 p.m.

他在矿井塌陷事故的那天死了
who died the day the mine collapsed,
但不是和工友死在一块儿
but not with his fellow miners.
是的迪基那天请了病假
No, Dickie called in sick that day.
他的妻子发现他在窑子里
His wife found him in the whorehouse
然后朝他脸上开枪了
and shot him in the face.
- 我是他亲戚 - 不老谣传罢了伙计
- I'm related to him. - No, just an old rumor, buddy.
是谣传不是真的
Old rumor, not true.
我们继续前进来吧
We're walking. Come on.
需要拍照的请便
Take your pictures if you'd like.
快点我们该走了副警长
Come on. Let's get a move on, Deputy.
长官你肯定想不到刚刚是谁回了我电♥话♥
Sir, you're not gonna believe who just returned my call.
圣海伦医院说万德斯本格医生因为
St. Helens Hospital said Dr. Vanderspeigle was disciplined
进入一间他无权进入的实验室被处分了
after they found him in a lab he wasn't authorized to be in.
你知道那间实验室里有什么吗
And do you know what they kept stored there?
- 什么 - 肉毒毒素
- What? - Botulinum toxin.
你在开玩笑吗该死
Are you shitting me? Damn.
我们可能抓错人了
We might have put the wrong person behind bars.
是时候跟万德斯本格医生谈谈了
Looks like it's time to talk to Dr. Vanderspeigle.
- 对 - 但是首先
- Yeah. - But first,
我得把这件衣服送去干洗
I have to drop off this dry cleaning.
搞什么伸张正义可等不及干洗
What? Justice doesn't wait for no dry cleaning.
星期二干洗半价
It's half-price Tuesdays.
真是一团乱
This is some shit here.
大家保持队形我们还有很多景点
People, stay together. We have a lot to see.
我的天哪
Oh, my God.
另一个今日特♥供♥
Oh, another special treat today.
这是佩西恩斯的警长
Here we have the Patience sheriff
他单枪匹马把山姆·霍奇斯的妻子投入大牢
who single-handedly put the wife of Sam Hodges in jail.
据传言她在牢房♥里奄奄一息
Rumor has it she's close to death in her prison cell,
老鼠们正等着享用她的尸体
rats waiting to feast on her killer corpse.
继续前进再见帅哥
We're walking. Bye, handsome.
达茜新消息打开电台102.6
您现在收听的是电台102.6
You're listening to 102.6,
一位特殊的听众有一个请求
and we have a special listener request on the line.
你想要播放什么歌♥曲
What do you want us to play?
我想要你播放饲养员乐队的《离你而去》
Hey, I'd like you to play The Breeders' "Off You"
送给我最好的朋友阿斯塔
for my best friend Asta,
告诉她如果她需要我我总会奔向她
and tell her, if she needs me, I'll always come running.
我认识这个声音达茜
Wait, I know this voice. D'arcy?
达茜不是我是萨沙你好
D'arcy? No, this Sasha. Hello, yes.
你是达茜我们约会了五个月
Yeah, D'arcy. We dated for five months.
我记得你的声音我们分手那晚
I think I know your voice, and the night we broke up
你从我的冰箱偷了六瓶葡萄酒
you stole six bottles of wine out of my fridge.
我没有偷葡萄酒
I don't have no stealing wine.
只有伏特加好了给好朋友放歌♥曲
Only vodka, so okay. Play song for best friend.
- 天哪 - 然后你就走吧
- Jesus. - And then go.
好吧饲养员乐队送给你
Fine. Here's The Breeders, I guess.
哈利
Harry?
在吗
Hello?
什么大惊喜啊
What's the big surprise?
哈利
Harry?
哈利
Harry?
哈利
Harry?
这是什么
What the hell is this?
我的避难所你的新家
My survival shelter and your new home.
你可以选地毯
You can choose the rugs.
为什么你的房♥子下面有一个避难所
Why do you have a fallout shelter under your house?
我为我们建的这样等我族人来杀人的时候
I built it for us, so that we can be safe
我们就可以安全度过了
when my people come to kill everyone.
什么
What?
我忘了告诉你
Oh, I forgot to tell you.
我的族人要来杀掉所有人
My people are coming to kill everyone.
什么时候
When?
章鱼认为是几周后
Octopus thinks it may be a matter of weeks.
你好愚蠢的人类
Hello again, stupid human.
天哪我真讨厌你这么做
God, I hate when you do that.
卫生间在这边
The bathroom will be over here
如果在我建卫生间之前他们就来了
if they come before I get a real toilet,
我们可以用这个桶
we can use this bucket.
它不分性别
It is unisex.
我还要养一头牛如果我可以弄清
Oh, and I am getting a cow if I can figure out
怎么把它带进那个入口
how to get it through the opening.
- 你在开玩笑对吗 - 你说得对
- You're joking, right? - You are right.
入口太小了
The opening is too small.
我可以带一只小牛犊把它养大
I may get a baby cow and raise it.
哈利这样不行
Harry, this is not okay.
这些本应结束的
This was all supposed to be over with.
为什么你的族人要来
Why are your people coming?
他们你是怎么说的
They are... how did you put it?
哦他们急切地想要炸所有你们地球猪
Oh, it was "eager to fry all you Earth pigs."
那句
That.
我不能这样不不不
I can't do this. No, no, no.
你想让我和你在地下生活几周
You expect me to live underground with you for weeks?
不至少要一年
Oh, no. It will be at least a year.
我知道你喜欢户外
I know that you like the out-of-doors.
我给你画了一扇窗户
I painted you a window.
你可以享受美丽的科罗拉多风景
You can enjoy the beautiful Colorado scenery.
感受清风
Feel the breeze.
这些是死人
Those are dead people.
那是那个愚蠢的男孩
That is the stupid boy.
你看不到他皱眉因为我的笔刷太粗了
You cannot see his frown because my brush was too thick.
不行不能这样我不会这么做的
Nope, this isn't happening. I'm not doing it.
我不要和你在地洞里生活
I'm not living in a hole in the ground with you
还有那个章鱼东西
and that octo-thing.
等等
Oh, wait.
我不介意
Well, that's fine with me.
你觉得我想在下一年
You think I want to spend the next year
看你在桶里拉屎吗
watching you shit in a bucket?
闭嘴
Shh-shh!
别走那会很有趣的
Don't go. It will be fun.
章鱼知道很多墨鱼的玩笑
Octopus knows so many cuttlefish jokes.
他们很自以为是
They are so stuck up.
你没在认真听我讲话
You're not taking me seriously.
披萨
Pizza.
你必须做点什么
You have to do something about this,
把我们藏在地下一年绝对不行
and hiding us underground for a year isn't it.
你是外星人给家里打电♥话♥啊
You're an alien. You know, phone home.
给他们打电♥话♥ 告诉他们不要来
Call them, and tell them not to come.
我有没有告诉你我们可以看整整二十季的
Did I tell you that we are going to have all 20 seasons
《法律与秩序》
of "Law & Order" to watch?
天哪
Oh, God.
我宁愿死也不愿意和你一人待在这个星球
I would rather die than be on this planet with just you.
- 没礼貌 - 你不懂
- Rude. - You don't get it.
我在末日之后再出来
So what, I'm just supposed to come out after the apocalypse,
我认识的所有人都死了吗
and everyone I know is dead?
我在这里孤身一人
I'm here all alone?
这也没礼貌
Also rude.
我说的是我家人我爸爸和达茜怎么办
I'm talking about my family. What about Dad and D'arcy?
杰伊怎么办
What about Jay?
天哪你不懂吗
God, no. Don't you understand?
如果他们都不在了我也没办法活下去
I can't live here if I have to live without all of them.
所以给他们打电♥话♥
So there you go, call them,
告诉他们不要来了不然我就死
and tell them not to come, or I will just die.
我知道你在干什么
I know what this is.
你在唬人像打牌一样
You are bluffing, like in poker.
我没有
No, I'm not!
我宁愿站在你星球的死亡射线下面
I would rather stand under your stupid planet's death ray
炸成上百万的碎片
and explode into a million pieces
也不愿和你在洞里待一秒钟
than spend one second in that hole with you.
她很擅长唬人
She is good at bluffing.
我可能可以联♥系♥到他们