外星居民（2021）

Resident Alien S02E02

Part 3 Feb. 8, 2022, 7:48 p.m.

I always knew I was very mature for my age.
我不是在吹嘘但我已经有狐臭一年了
I'm not trying to brag, but I've had BO for a year.
你一点也不成熟
You're not mature.
你还会被低俗的笑话逗笑
You still laugh at scatological humor.
那是什么
What's that?
有关便便的笑话
Poop jokes.
- 便便 - 醒醒
- Poop. - Wake up.
你这样是因为去过太空
This happened to you because you went to space.
我不觉得是因为去过太空
I don't think that's how space works.
但青春期肯定不是这样的
Well, it's definitely not how puberty works,
所以还能因为什么
so what else could it be?
我不知道
I have no idea.
嘿孩子们
Hey, guys.
我给你们拿了点烤面包和果汁
I brought you some toaster strudel and fruit punch.
不用了妈我们还不饿
It's okay, Mom. We're not hungry.
不了谢谢
No thank you.
我妈说如果你给我垃圾食品
My mom said if you offered me any junk food,
我要拒绝因为相当于慢性自杀
I should say no because it will slowly kill me.
好吧
Okay.
不是垃圾食品是一些美味的零食
Not junk, tasty snacks.
什么情况
What the hell?
♪我要离开我的真爱♪
Oh, I'm sailing away my own true love
我们要用阿斯塔大三那年的生日歌♥曲
And we're gonna take things down a notch
作为尾声
by mellowing out with the closing track
享受生活放松一下
from Asta's junior year birthday mix.
始于聚会终于氛围
Start with a party, end with a vibe.
这是我经常在KPRJ电台说的
That's what I always say on KPRJ radio.
基本描述了那年的情况
Kind of describes that year in general.
为什么
Why?
♪我即将着陆的地方♪
From the place where I'll be landing
对了对不起我不应该提起
Right, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have put it on...
不不没关系
No, no, it's good.
当我怀着杰伊时
I listened to this song a million times
我把这首歌♥听了无数遍
while I was pregnant with Jay.
我觉得她也会喜欢她总是踢我
I think she liked it, too. She'd always kick.
我当时应该陪着你
I should have been there.
我本人不是什么愚蠢的歌♥单
Me, not just some stupid playlist.
什么意思你当时根本不知道
What do you mean? You didn't even know.
但我本该知道的
But I should have.
我希望你当时告诉我的
I wish you would have told me.
我肯定会赶来陪你
I would have come running.
我只是不喜欢秘密
I just don't like secrets.
我希望你知道
I hope you know the only reason
我隐瞒这一切的唯一原因是
I would ever keep anything from you is
我不想让这些破事困扰你
'cause I don't want to dump shit on you.
你还对我隐瞒了什么吗
What are you keeping from me?
什么
What?
没什么
Nothing.
我是指关于杰伊
I'm talking about Jay.
你当时在欧洲训练
You know, you were training in Europe.
我知道如果我告诉你你会离开的
I knew, if I told you, you would leave.
我不想也毁了你的人生
I didn't want you ruining your life, too.
什么毁掉什么我的人生好的很阿斯塔
I'm sorry, ruin my what? I have a great life, Asta.
我看看到我最好的朋友
I just watched my best friend take a piss
在船边小便
off the side of my boat.
简直太棒了
It's awesome.
- 嘿 - 今天没工作
- Hey. - Not working today?
不达茜把我从诊所中拯救出来
Nah, D'arcy rescued me from the clinic,
带我去了湖边
took me to the lake.
是吗
Yeah?
希望你穿了救生衣或许该穿两件
I hope you wore a life jacket, maybe two.
为什么
What, why?
你是唯一能阻止那个外星人杀了我们的人
You're the only one keeping that alien from taking us out.
如果你出什么事地球上所有人都得死了
Anything happens to you, everybody on Earth is dead.
你会觉得这个蓝色太深了吗
Do you think this blue is too dark?
我也不想但我是哈利唯一的朋友
I can't help that I'm Harry's only friend.
也许他应该多交几个朋友
Maybe he should have some more.
这是个很棒的小镇
We're a great town.
如果他在这里找不到人类的价值
If he can't see the value of humans here,
那或许我们应该灭绝
then maybe we should become extinct.
- 他在吃什么 - 不知道
- What's he eating? - Not sure.
杂烩
Chowder?
不管是什么他刚用派蘸着吃
Whatever it is, he just dipped his pie in it.
派和杂烩
Pie and chowder?
连环杀手都这么吃听着
That's the meal of a serial killer. Watch this.
如果你想理解一个杀手
You want to understand a murderer,
就得理解他的饮食
you gotta get inside his food head.
杰伊
Jay.
怎么了
Yeah?
我要点一份
I'll have what Dr. V. is having,
和V医生一样的菜
the exact same order.
- 你确定 - 一模一样
- Are you sure? - Exact same.
如果他的菜里有苍蝇我的也要有
If he got a fly in his thing, I want a fly in mine,
但放在旁边就好了
but put the fly on the side though
因为我不吃苍蝇
'cause I don't eat no flies.
它们很不干净
They walk on shit.
好的
Okay.
马克斯·霍桑和她的女朋友
Now Max Hawthorne and his girlfriend
走了进来坐到了他对面
just walked in and sat across from him.
真的吗
Really?
他们来这干吗你能看出来他们在说什么吗
What are they doing? Can you tell what they saying?
万医生应该是在说
I think Dr. V. just said,
"我不和太空海盗吃饭"
"I don't eat with space pirates."
啥
What?
我喜欢你的脸
I like your face.
你是把蹦床带去吊扇店了啊
I see you took the trampoline to the ceiling fan store.
你知道不是这么回事
You know it's not from a fan store.
他长了满脸胡子
He had a full-grown beard.
很明显你的飞船
Obviously, your spaceship
引发了引力时间膨胀
caused gravitational time dilation.
很明显
Obviously.
很明显你的小脑瓜
Obviously, your pea-sized brain
在你空荡荡的头骨里很寂寞
is very lonely in that cavernous skull of yours.
这俩蠢货不知道他的荷尔蒙失常
These idiots have no idea his hormone irregularity
是因为他偷了外星人的科技品
was caused by the alien technology he stole.
这很粗鲁
It's incredibly rude.
不好意思我没听
I'm sorry. I wasn't listening.
我在心里骂你们蠢呢
I was calling you an idiot in my head.
我有一个问题
I have a question.
"阿斯塔会喜欢在地堡里
"What kind of toilet would Asta like
用什么样的厕所拉屎"
to poop in in a bunker?
- 这肯定不对 - 给点力警官
- That can't be right. - Come on, Deputy.
你不是上了唇语课吗
I thought you took a lipreading workshop.
我只付得起前三节课
I could only afford the first three classes,
但我在家庭聚会上练习了很多
but I get lots of practice at family gatherings.
我奶奶说了我很多坏话
My grandma talks a lot of shit about me.
如果你不帮他
We're not answering any of your questions
我们是不会回答你的问题的
until you help him.
好吧我会帮忙
Okay, I will help him
如果你能站在椅子上大喊 "我刚放屁了"
if you stand on your seats and shout, "I just farted."
我不是你的布偶
I'm not your puppet.
我来我做你的布偶
I'll do it. I'll be your puppet.
不要你做
No, not you.
你很明显就想做
You obviously want to do it.
所以我要她来
That's why it has to be her.
苹果派和普通燕麦片
Apple pie and plain oatmeal.
加奶加奶加奶没有苍蝇
Extra, extra, extra milk. No flies.
用餐愉快
Enjoy.
他是个变♥态♥
He's a damn psychopath.
我刚放屁了
I just farted!
- 马克斯说我刚 - 我听见了