外星居民（2021）

Resident Alien S02E16

Part 4 Sept. 30, 2022, 11:55 a.m.

我要离开了所以我也不需要了
that I no longer need because I am leaving.
这能干什么
What does it do?
人类不能控制这个能源
Humans cannot control the energy,
但这能保你不死
but it will keep you from dying.
还能让饮料保温
It also keeps hot drinks hot.
让我描述一下场景
Let me just paint the scene.
我们有个朝南的阳台
Um, we have a balcony that's south-facing.
奥斯瓦尔杜·拉米拉茨·卡斯特罗
圣米格尔萨尔瓦多
突然
And all of a sudden,
我们楼断电了
there's a blackout in our building.
我走到阳台
I step outside on my balcony,
我眼角瞄到了
and all of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye,
三个米黄色的灯
I see these three dots of white-ish, yellow lights,
组成了一个三角形
zooming along in a triangle formation.
周边寂静无声
There's no sound whatsoever.
整个画面持续了三四秒钟
Entire thing was about three, four seconds.
断电之后我看到了这个东西
I see this thing, after the blackout happens.
是这个东西造成的断电吗
Is that what caused it?
我不知道但我吓傻了
I don't know. But it freaked me out.
整件事把我吓傻了
That incident really spooked me out.
你还好吗
You okay?
你在干嘛
What are you doing?
我怎么到厨房♥来了
Why am I in the kitchen?
亲爱的
Oh, honey,
你又梦游了
you were sleepwalking again.
天啊太奇怪了
Oh, my God, that is so weird.
我又做了同样的梦
I was having that same dream again.
我在床上
I was in bed.
我家里人都在那里
My whole family was there.
突然我就在这里了
And now, suddenly, I'm here.
下次在我洗完碗之前别叫醒我
Next time, don't wake me up until I've finished the dishes.
宝贝
Oh, sweetie.
回床上去吧
Come to bed.
哈喽臭臭
Hello, stink!
你起外号♥越来越懒了
Your nicknames are getting lazy.
听着我
Listen, I--
我为你画了幅自画像
I drew a picture of myself for you,
因为你从来没见过我人类的样子
since you've never seen what I look like as a human
你人形长这样 -是啊
This is what you look like? - Yes.
这是幅完美的肖像
It is a perfect likeness.
你喜欢吗
Are you impressed with my skill?
还行吧
Uh, yeah.
你知道吗通常你不会给我礼物
You know, you don't usually give me gifts.
除了那件有靶心的打猎T恤
Except for that hunting T-shirt with the bullseye on it.
我正在进行人类所谓的告别之旅
I am doing what humans call a goodbye tour
我和外星宝宝要回我的星球了
Me and the alien baby are going home to my planet.
再也不回来了
And we are leaving here forever.
才不会呢
No, you're not.
你这么在乎我根本舍不得走
You care about me way too much to leave.
什么哪有
What? I do not!
你才给我画了幅画
You just drew me a picture.
你只给你爱的人画
You only do that for someone you love.
我画是因为我是个艺术家
I only drew that because I'm an artist
想跟全世界分享我的天赋
and I want to share my gift with the world.
这可是简笔画
You drew a stick figure.
一点都不像你好吧
This looks nothing like you.
你竟敢羞辱我身材
How dare you body shame me.
那是我的目标体重
That is my goal weight.
你是说我胖吗
Are you saying I'm fat?
随便你怎么想
Whatever.
我得回家了再见
I gotta go home. See you soon.
再也不见
I will see you never!
我才不胖呢我这叫厚重
I am not fat. I am thick.
所有躯体都是美丽的
All bodies are beautiful,
除了你你这个长着松鼠脖子的混♥蛋♥
except yours, you squirrel-necked dick.
有件事儿挺有意思的厄尼刚打过来
Funny story. Ernie just called.
说他去取车
He said he came to pick up the van,
等他到的时候车不在
but when he got there, it wasn't there.
你也不在
And neither were you.
是哦
Oh, right!
有另个人来取走了
The other guy came to pick it up.
好像是叫奈德
Ned, I think?
他本来想直接把我送过来的
And he was gonna drop me straight here,
但最后我们去吃了个汉堡
but then we ended up getting a burger
然后他就以为是约会
And then he thought it was a date,
所以我告诉他我已婚
so I told him I was married
他说他也是
and he said so is he.
问题是自打他妻子玛德琳
And, um, the thing is, his wife Madeline has this
跟她大学室友希瑟在
don't-ask-don't-tell policy
十五周年同学聚会上亲热之后
ever since she made out with her college roommate Heather
就定了个“不问就不说”的原则
at their 15th reunion.
他们上的是布兰迪斯大学
They went to Brandeis.
你撒谎内容越来越具体了
Your lies have gotten very specific.
行吧我开走了
Fine, I took it.
不好意思你说是你把车开走了
I'm sorry, you say you took the van?
你是说你把车偷了
You mean you stole the van.
是的 -你可是执法人员
Yep. - You're an officer of the law.
他的死不是意外
His death was no accident.
车放我车♥库♥里很安全
The van is safe in my garage.
听我说你马上去把车
Listen to me, I want you to get that van
送去车管所
to the impound immediately.
马上送去副警长
Impound immediately, Deputy.
你老这样
You know what? This is what you do.
你♥爸♥都这么说
Your dad even said.
你逃避一切
You run away from everything
会让你走出舒适区的事
that takes you out of your comfort zone.
我这是以朋友的身份替你着想
I'm trying to be your friend.
真正的朋友会信任我支持我
A real friend would trust me and have my back.
车就留我这儿
I'm keeping the van.
不行等等等等不行
Wh--no, no, no, no, wait, wait, no.
真正的朋友才不会让他们朋友
A real friend wouldn't make their friends
去监狱探望他们
come visit them in jail
去的时候还得做体腔检查
and they have to go through a cavity search
以确保屁♥股♥里没藏
to make sure they don't have a knife up their ass
企图帮他越狱的刀
to try to break you out of there.
是人就知道屁♥股♥里藏刀
And everybody knows a knife in the ass
可拉屁♥眼♥了
can feel a little slice-y.
我觉得我
Well, I think I, like,
杰夫和杰西·米勒
希尔弗戴尔华盛顿
有点喜欢在脸书上开玩笑就比如
kind of jokingly posted on Facebook, like,
我们这个周末去露营了好像看到了不明飞行物
"We went camping this weekend, and we may have seen a UFO."
最开始我们是想排除其他可能性的
Cause at first, we're trying to play process of elimination,
因为有可能是架飞机有可能
'cause it could have been a plane, it could have been--
但它的运动轨迹太不稳定了
but its movement was just way too erratic.
就不可能是了
It couldn't have been those things.
就有那种
So it just, like, kind of looked like
很亮的白光
that bright white-ish light.
山脊在那边它就这样飞
The mountain ridge was, like, there, and it was, like--
就是外星人
This is an alien.
因此别看它
And therefore, don't look at it.
别掏手♥机♥拍
Don't take your phone out
因为他们就会来抓你
'cause they're gonna come get you.
来抓我们他们会没收我们手♥机♥
Come get us. They're gonna take our phones.
是的
Yeah.
然后就变得很奇怪
And then it got weird.
你好阿斯塔
Hello, Asta!
要是你现在在看这段视频
If you are watching this right now,
那我已经在太空中了
then I'm already in space.
我之前肯定跟你说过再见
I definitely said goodbye to you,
但你可能没听见
but you probably did not hear me