外星居民（2021）

Resident Alien S02E14

Part 3 Sept. 23, 2022, 9:25 a.m.

我自己在厨房♥学的
Taught myself in my own kitchen.
现在起身是不是有点晚了
Is it too late to stand back up?
安啦没事
No, no, you're fine. Don't worry.
我用的是老式手法
I learned the old-fashioned way.
看见没我在猫身上练过
See, I practiced on cats.
如果你凌晨3点能给自己的猫按♥摩♥
If you can massage a cat at 3:00 a.m.
还没有被猫抓死或者把邻居吵死
without being scratched to death or waking your neighbor,
那你就毕业了
you graduate.
力道越大越有效果
You know, the more feral, the better.
我记得读硕士时
I remember for my masters,
我发现了一只猫在走廊里
I found this cat in an alleyway.
我的前臂现在还不长汗毛但我还是毕业了
I still can't grow hair on my left forearm, but I graduated.
后背疼痛
Ow, well, uh, the back pain has drowned out
已经超过头疼了谢谢
the head pain, so thank you.
客气啥 -非常感谢
Oh, you're welcome. - Very much.
现在你脑袋清醒了
Now that you've got a clear head,
回家后就可以考虑一下怎么让
you can start thinking about how
凯特别再管那个度假村的事
to get Kate off of this resort thing when you get home.
那个这就是问题所在了
Uh, well, see, that's-- that's the problem.
我不能谈
I can't.
我们商量好说回家后不谈这事的
We agreed not to talk about the resort when we're at home.
好主意这样对你们的婚姻有好处
That's a good idea. That's best for your marriage.
幸好我没跟你们俩任何一个人结婚
I, on the other hand, am not married to either one of you.
所以邀请我去你家吃晚餐吧
Look, invite me over to dinner.
我接受了今晚见
I accept. I'll see you tonight.
我的头好像不能往左转了
Uh, I'm having a hard time turning my head to the left?
是嘛我家猫跟你一个毛病哎
Yes, you know what? The cats had the same problem.
试试这招
Try this.
你试着把背拱起来然后嘶嘶两声
Try hunching your back over like this and hissing.
今晚见
I'll see you later.
啥
W-what?
我知道如何阻止灰人了
I have figured out how to stop the Greys.
什么
What?
太好了啊你打算怎么做
That's great. What are you gonna do?
下周在新墨西哥
There is another alien convention
新墨西哥科学中心
不明飞行物研讨会
有个外星人♥大♥会
in New Mexico next week.
里面应该有不少
It will be filled with humans
被可怕的灰人做过试验
that have been probed and implanted
和植入的人类
by those horrible Grey creatures.
是吧
That's true.
你要利用这些人跟踪灰人吗
You could use those people to, what, track the Greys?
不是我绑♥架♥他们然后把他们的植入物扯掉
No, I will kidnap the humans and rip out their implants
再重新植入到专业表演狗身上
and then re-implant them in professional show dogs.
什么 -嗯啊
What? - Mm-hmm.
灰人就会蒙了
The Greys will be so confused.
他们想啊那个我绑♥架♥的人类
"Why is that human that I abducted
为什么会转圈跑还跳什么门呢
running around in circles and jumping over gates?"
这样可以阻止他们至少3到5分钟吧
That will stop them for three to five minutes.
我们还是换个计划吧
We need to start thinking about a plan B.
什么
Mm, what?
对
Yeah.
那个人看上去特别像
That guy looks an awful lot like--
我的天就是那个外星人跟踪者
Oh, my God, that's the Alien Tracker.
他现在和丽芙坐在卡座那
He's sitting in a booth with Liv.
他为什么跟丽芙坐一起 -他点派了吗
Why is he with Liv? - Is he ordering pie?
不知道赶紧走
I don't know. Let's go.
我之前来这时只剩最后一个了
I was here earlier. There's only one left.
他居然要的是甜品单这混♥蛋♥
He has a dessert menu, the son of a bitch!
天哪
Oh, God.
孩子们回来时飞船就不在了
The ship was gone by the time the other kids came back,
但是那时我感觉到
but, somehow, in that moment, I felt like--
你感觉到世界之大
You felt your world expand
超出了你的想象
beyond anything you ever imagined possible.
对就是这感觉
Wow. Exactly
但我记得的更多的却只是自己的感觉
But the thing that I remember most was feeling alone.
我知道谁都不会相信我除了凯西姨姨
I knew no one would believe me, except my Aunt Cathy.
但是她最喜欢的是紧身衣
But her favorite shirt was a straitjacket.
这就是为什么很少有人挺身而出
Well, that's why so few come forward.
我正在制♥作♥一部纪录片
You know, I'm producing a documentary
经历者们可以分享他们的故事
where experiencers share their stories.
人们需要知道他们并不孤单
People need to know they're not alone.
你真高尚
You're so noble.
就像只狮子
You're like a lion.
你有兴趣参加吗
Would you be interested in participating?
我不行
Oh, I couldn't.
我会太紧张不知道大家会怎么想
I would be so worried about what everyone might think
然后我胳膊肘就会开始出汗
that my elbows would start to sweat.
现在现在就出着呢
They're-- they're sweating now.
嘿你们不能随便进厨房♥ 不卫生
Hey, you can't just come back here-- it's unsanitary.
好吧爸
Okay, Dad,
但我们得躲到那个人走之后
we need to stay here until this guy leaves, okay?
他知道哈利是个外星人
He knows that Harry's an alien,
而且也可能认出我当时也参会了
and he might recognize me from the convention.
丹别把派卖♥♥给那个坏人
Dan, do not sell that bad man any pie.
借过
Excuse me.
怎么了 -他看见我了给我把叉子
What's going on? - He saw me. Give me a fork.
他要是进来我就捅他脖子一下还有看到这事的所有人
I need to stab him in the neck-- and anyone who saw.
这我得捅多少脖子啊 -你谁都不能捅
I have a lot of necks to stab. - You're not stabbing anyone!
不 -她说得对
No. - She's right.
赶紧去后面
Go out the back.
怎么了没事吧
What's going on? Is everything okay?
我得去检查一下马上就回来
I have to check something out-- I'll be back.
查跟踪情况吗
Is checking tracking?
查外星人吗
Are you alien checking?
等你哦
I'll be here.
嘿丽芙
Hey, Liv.
你跟朋友来的吗 -不是
Were you just here with friend? - Oh, no.
说他是我朋友有点为时过早
It might be early for the F word,
不过他小时候也见过外星人
but he did share some childhood-trauma stuff.
我也确实知道他的生日
Mm. Plus, I do know his birthday,
最喜欢的颜色还有他的月亮星座
favorite color, and moon sign.
我天我居然跟外星人追踪者是朋友哎
Holy crap, I'm friends with the Alien Tracker.
外星人追踪者
The Alien Tracker--
这不是你听的那个播客吗
isn't that that podcast you listen to?
他好像追踪过火星人还是什么的
Like, he chases Martians or something?
对但是彼得不止如此
Yeah, but Peter is so much more than that.
他还写过一本书
He literally wrote the book
有关政♥府♥外星人阴谋的
on government alien conspiracies.
所以他是来见自己的铁粉吗
Mm, so is he here visiting his number-one fan
还是出差
or here on business?
他认为在佩兴斯
He thinks that there might be alien activity
可能有外星人出没
right here in Patience.
他现在就是跟踪线索去了
He's checking out a lead now.
多让人激动啊
How exciting is that?
可不是嘛
Wow, that is really exciting.
他可真上心
Man, he means business.
我可不想成为那个外星人
I wouldn't want to be that alien.
范德史宾格医生你好啊
Hi, Dr. Vanderspeigle.
我能跟你预约个时间吗
Can I ask you about making an appointment for--
苏琪是个孩子
♪ Sukie was the kid ♪
她喜欢在墓地里玩
♪ She liked to hang out in the graveyard ♪
不好意思
Excuse me.
她喜欢拓印
♪ She did brass rubbings ♪
她知道不需要多用力
♪ She learned she never had to press hard ♪
当她做完就会挂出去
♪ When she was finished hanging out ♪
她有点孤单
♪ She was all alone ♪
决定最好回家看看
♪ She decided that she better check in at home ♪
她爸妈正在吵大架
♪ There was an awful row between her mum and dad ♪
说她这个没有做那个也没有做
♪ They said she hadn't done this, she hadn't done that ♪