外星居民（2021）

Resident Alien S02E01

Part 1 Feb. 8, 2022, 7:48 p.m.

《外星居民》前情提要
Previously on "Resident Alien"...
嗨老乡
Hello, cousin.
你不能就这样放弃你的任务
You cannot give up on your mission.
完全清除项目
一旦我毁灭全人类...
Once I eradicate humanity...
别动
Don't move.
我就能以英雄的身份衣锦还乡
I'll return to my planet a hero.
你要是不告诉我这到底是怎么一回事
If you don't tell me what is happening,
我就要发火了
I'm going to lose my shit.
我就是你们人类所说的天外来客
I am what your people call an extraterrestrial.
你要杀光全人类的话你也会杀了我
If you kill everyone, you kill me.
-那我就不杀光全人类 - 我会想你的朋友
- Then I won't kill everyone. - I will miss you, friend.
我也会想你的朋友
I'll miss you too, friend.
嗨你在送我回家对吧
Hi. You're taking me home, right?
这算什么鸟事
This is some bullshit.
做外星人比做地球人简单多了
Being an alien is easier than being a human.
我们已经进化到没有情感的阶段了
We have evolved past having emotions,
也就是说我们不必被迫处理情绪问题
so we are not forced to deal with things
比如说季节性抑郁和路怒症
like seasonal depression or road rage.
我们也没有道路所以没人能抢你的道
We also have no roads, so nobody can cut you off,
就算是那群长着蜥蜴脸的白♥痴♥
not even Alpha Draconians,
阿尔法天龙星人也不行
who are lizard-faced dickheads.
在地球上生活一段日子之后
After living on Earth,
作为一个外星人我不仅拥有了人类的情感
I am not just an alien with human emotions.
我还拥有了人类的记忆
I am an alien with human memories.
有一刻比起外星人我好像更像地球人了
Is there a point where I become more human than alien?
我想回家
I wanna go home!
我不会掉头的
I'm not turning around.
你在上来之前就该想到后果的
You should've thought of that before you got in.
但我不知道是要去我奶奶家呀
I didn't know we were going all the way to Grandma's house!
那你现在知道了对吧
Well, now you know, all right?
一首童谣
你可以唱《小小蜘蛛》来打发时间
You can sing the song "Itsy Bitsy Spider" to pass the time.
你就是那只蜘蛛因为
You are the spider because
大家都讨厌你而且你是个小小屁孩
everyone hates you and you are itsy bitsy.
你才是你太刻薄了我才不去
You are! And you're mean! I'm not going.
继续啊跳车啊
Go ahead. Jump out of the car.
你的肺会受到猛烈撞击而爆♥炸♥
Your lungs will explode.
我会享受把你的肠子从车上洗掉的过程
I'll enjoy washing your guts off the side of the car.
- 给我掉头白♥痴♥ - 你在干嘛快放手
- Turn around, stupid! - What are you doing? Let go!
你的头部受到了非常严重的创伤
You've suffered fairly significant head trauma.
你有没有感觉记忆有缺失
Are you experiencing any issues with memory loss?
他们把你带来的时候你脑子很不清醒
You were pretty dazed when they brought you in here.
他们说发现你的时候你裸身走在街上
They said they found you walking down the road naked.
有印象吗
Do you remember anything?
记得自己是谁吗
Do you know who you are?
我是外星人
I'm an alien.
我是来杀光所有人类的
I'm here to kill everyone.
外星居民第二季第一集
他们带走了马克斯
They have Max.
军队或是雇佣兵不知道是什么人
The military, the mercenaries, whatever the hell they were.
反正他们肯定把他从仓库带走了
They must have taken him out of the warehouse.
- 你也不确定 -我哪里都找过了
- You don't know that. - I looked everywhere.
找了两个小时里外找遍了马克斯失踪了
Two hours. Inside, outside. I mean, Max is gone.
我该怎么跟他父母交代
What the hell am I gonna tell his parents?
这样说试试看 "你小孩失踪了
Try this. "Your kid is gone.
因为卷入了外星人事件"
There was an alien involved."
天呐
Oh.
我做不到
I can't do it.
但你不能逃避现实
Well, you can't run from this.
不管怎样我会自始至终陪着你的
I'll be with you every step of the way.
好
Okay.
谢谢你愿意跟我一起去
Thanks for coming with me.
说什么鬼话呢我哪也不去我得煎鸡蛋呢
Hell, no. I'm not going. I gotta cook eggs.
- 嗨本 - 阿斯塔快进来
- Hi, Ben. - Asta, come on in.
你来得正好尝尝我有名的"本式松饼"
You're just in time for my famous "Bencakes."
- 秘密风味的独家松饼哟 - 好啊
- Pancakes with a secret twist. - Okay.
秘密调料就是红糖啦
The secret ingredient is brown sugar.
马克斯
Max.
现在祖传秘方泄密了
Family secret ruined.
阿斯塔嗨你还好吗
Asta, hi. Everything okay?
当然啦
Yes, of course.
我就是想来看看马克斯还有你俩怎么样了
I just wanted to check on Max and you both.
我听说昨天有人闯进你们家来了
I heard there was a break-in last night.
就想过来问问发生什么了
Well, I wanted to know what happened.
你说的是我们成功阻止的蓄意绑♥架♥案吗
Oh, you mean the attempted kidnapping we thwarted?
我们给了犯人点颜色瞧瞧但问题不大
Had to rough up some perps, but no B-I-G.
是啊警♥察♥昨晚一直待在这里
Yeah, the police were here all night
做些取证收集犯人指纹之类的
trying to collect evidence, fingerprints, stuff like that.
哇哦
Wow.
阿斯塔...
Asta...
你有没有俯视过死亡的枪管
you ever looked down the barrel of death?
凝视过恶魔的脸
Stare the devil in the face?
老爸蓝莓要烧焦了
Dad, the blueberries are burning.
我去
Dang it!
可怜的马克斯
Poor Max.
他一下都没合过眼
Looks like he hasn't slept a wink.
这是实话
That is accurate.
我该告辞了很高兴你们没事
Well, I should go. I'm just glad you're safe.
那是血吗
Is that blood?
是啊
Oh, yeah.
当时当时我们身上都溅到了血
Yeah, there was... there was blood all over us.
- 我们现在都安全了 - 是啊多亏了你
- We're safe now. - Yeah, thanks to you.
哪有是多亏了你
Mm-mm. Thanks to you.
- 我们爸比救了我 - 小宝贝需要拯救嘛
- You saved me, Daddy. - Our little baby needs saving.
小宝贝等着你来拯救
Our little baby needs to be saved.
- 噢宝贝 - 我这就来
- Oh, baby. - Yeah, I do.
- 还好吗吓坏了吗 - 人家好害怕好伤心
- Are you okay? Are you scared? - I'm so scared. So upset.
- 伤心了吗 - 呃我得...
- Are you upset? - Well, I should just...
好我送她出门
Yeah, I'll walk her out.
你到底发生什么了
What the hell happened to you?
二十分钟后棒球场见
Meet me at the baseball field in 20 minutes.
好
Okay.
看这就是我在货车上放根钓竿的原因
See, this is why I keep a fishing rod in the truck.
再在尾端上放根薯条
Plus, you put a french fry on the end,
就可以吓走该死的鸽子
you can freak the hell out of some pigeons.
警长我觉得
Sir, I don't think
万德斯本格医生不会让你在他码头上钓鱼的
Dr. Vanderspeigle would want you fishing off his deck.
我在试着代入一个潜在的连环杀手呢
Trying to get into the mind of a potential serial killer.
这个变♥态♥
Sick bastard.
他可能会坐在这里钓鱼像这样
He probably sat here fishing just like this.
门把手对上了也就是说原先的法式木门
Doorknob is a match, which means the original French doors
也掉进了湖里
ended up in the lake.
这些是新换上的
These ones are replacements.
我们有什么发现我们发现了一只断脚
Okay, so what we got here? We got... we got a severed foot.
还有这只脚上穿过的一只靴子
We got the boot that held the foot
说明这不是什么简单的溺水身亡案
That lets us know it's not just some simple swimming accident.
而且出于某种原因原本在这里的木门
And then somehow, these doors here,
掉进了湖里
they end up in the lake.
- 如果这里发生过打斗呢 - 有道理
- What if there was a struggle? - Oh, yeah.
我喜欢你的想法副警长
See, I love how your mind works, Deputy.
你讲得像真实罪案播客一样
You're like a true crime podcast.
- 接着说让我听听看 - 好吧
- Go ahead. Pod me. - All right.
如果他们在屋里打架然后哈利把断脚老兄
What if they fought inside and then Harry threw dead foot guy
从这扇法式木门里扔了出去
through the French doors...
然后他大概会倒在这里
and he lands around here.
我明白你的意思
Yeah, no, I see where you're going.
紧接着... 万医生就这样走了出来
And then... and then Dr. V, he comes out like this.
像这样抓住你然后就把你扔进湖里
Grab you like that, and I throw you in the lake.
这样不行我正抓着你的手呢
You can't. I'm holding your arms.
那要是我还有一双手能掐住你脖子呢
What if I got an extra set of arms I use to choke you out?
你是说有共犯