外星居民（2021）

Resident Alien S02E05

Part 2 Feb. 25, 2022, 9:24 a.m.

He's worried he's too human.
撒谎
That is a lie!
撒谎没吃的 -我开玩笑的
Liars do not get food. - I'm kidding.
你连玩笑都开不起么这明显是个陷阱嘛
Can't you take a joke? It's obviously a trap.
章鱼哥真乖
Good octopus.
好吧我们就这么一条线索了
Okay. We don't have any other leads.
如果什么都不做大家都会死的
And if we don't do anything, everyone is going to die.
所以你要是不打给那个号♥码我就要打了
So, if you don't call that phone number, I will.
行吧
Fine.
好
Okay.
你好我能跟那个外星人谈谈吗
Hello. Can I talk to the alien, please?
他挂了
He hung up.
他说他认识我妈
He knows my mother.
他们还上过床
And they had intercourse.
德梅里奥披萨店东第三街
Demelio's Pizzeria, East Third Street.
打包行李我们要去纽约了
Pack your bags. We're going to New York.
我不能去纽约章鱼哥说得对
I cannot go to New York. The octopus is right.
我变了我太像个人了
I have changed. I am too human.
如果那个外星人不肯帮我呢
What if the alien will not help me?
我听见了他刚承认了
I heard that. He just admitted it.
离我脑子远一点
Get out of my head.
快接啊可能就是他们
Well, answer it. It might be them.
喂
Hello?
早上好啊医生我是警长
Morning, Doc. It's the Sheriff.
你好爸爸
Hi, Dad.
太诡异了她长得像我
This is weird... she looks like me,
前提是我投胎时脸先着地
if I fell face-first into a pile of metal.
我起初还以为她是
At first, I thought she was just
博尔德来的嬉皮流浪汉
some hippie drifter from Boulder,
但后来她给我看了这个
but, uh, then she showed me this right here.
我我记得这天
I remember this.
就是在这一天她坐在了我的膝盖上
This was the day she sat on my knee,
我们一起看向了照相机
and we looked at the camera,
然后摄影师按下了快门
and that person took our photograph.
对就是你一直提起的那个女儿
Yes, the daughter you've been telling me so much about,
你第一任妻子生的在伊莎贝尔之前
from your first wife before Isabelle,
她叫什么来着
and her name is...
就在嘴边想不起来了
right on the tip of my tongue.
我记得她说叫莉莎
Um, I think she said Liza.
对她名叫莉莎
Liza is her name.
她名叫莉莎
- Liza is her name. - Mm-hmm.
哥生育能力很强的
I'm very fertile.
这就是我可爱的小女儿
This is my sweet little girl.
你可爱的小女儿想偷自行车
Well, we caught your sweet little girl
被我们抓到了
trying to steal a bike.
后来发现她还有
It turns out she's got a record
新墨西哥州的商店行窃的案底
for shoplifting in, uh, New Mexico.
她妈曾送她进过问题少年中心
Her mama sent her to a camp for troubled teens,
但她逃了出来因为她桀骜不驯
but she ran away 'cause she's troubled.
她还扯了我头发
She also pulled my hair.
好在并不痛我发根很坚韧
It didn't hurt, though. I have strong roots.
你了解你女儿的
Are you even aware of what's going on
这些问题吗医生 -了解
with your daughter, Doc? - Yes.
感谢你们逮捕她还送她进了监狱
Thank you for arresting her and throwing her in jail.
等等送监狱倒没必要
Well, hold on... I don't think there's any need for that,
至少现在没有
at least not yet.
我同意把她交给你监护
I'm all right with releasing her into your custody.
不你还是送她进监狱吧
No, you throw her in jail.
他开玩笑的
He's joking.
他会带她回家的
He'll take her home.
这就是人类做父母的感受吗
Is this how humans feel when they have a child...
为熊孩子擦屁♥股♥气得愤恨不已
Angry and resentful for having to care for a tiny thing?
如果她是只宠物鸟
If she were a pet bird,
我会先打开笼子门
I would leave the cage door open
再把吊扇打开
and the ceiling fan on.
莉莎你怎么会被送去问题少年中心
So, Liza, boot camp, huh? Why were you sent there?
因为谋杀 -厉害了
- Murder. - Cool.
我们打电♥话♥给你妈让她来接你回去吧
Maybe we should call your mom, have her come pick you up.
祝你好运我妈正在意大利
Good luck... my mom is in Italy right now,
坐在小摩托上被人摩擦呢
getting fingered on a Vespa.
聊的不错
Good talk.
还聊得不错聊得烂透了
It's a bad... it's a bad talk. That was bad.
你表现得好奇怪啊
Why are you acting so weird?
等等你嗑嗨了吧
Wait, are you high?
对
Yes.
对他嗑嗨了
Yes, he is. Ugh.
这在科罗拉多是合法的
It's legal in Colorado.
别烦我了伙计
Do not bum my stone, man.
回家找你妈妈去吧
Go home to your mother.
阿斯塔会送你去机场
Asta will take you to the airport.
还真是速战速决哈
That was quick.
你之前至少还
You usually at least pretend
故作热情几天才把我轰走
for a few days before you tell me to leave.
那就不打扰了祝你生活愉快
I'll make it real easy for you. Have a nice life.
我会的
Okay, I will.
上培根的服务员呢
Where is the bacon lady?
你不能就这么让她走
- You can't just let her leave. - Mm?
她自己想走
She wants to go.
她想跟爸爸呆在一起我们得帮她
She wants her father. We have to help her.
你一个小时前还想去纽约
An hour ago, you wanted to go to New York
拯救其他人类呢
to save the rest of the humans.
你真是朝令夕改啊
You are flip-floppy.
她就是其他人类之一
She happens to be one of those humans.
你杀了她爸
You killed her father,
所以我们会待在这儿直到她安全回家
so we are staying here until we get her safely home.
她才不需要我们帮助
She does not need our help.
她已经交上朋友了
She's already making friends.
哇草
Shit.
我觉得没问题好吧
I think we can make that happen, yeah.
你之前坐过这种车吗 -坐过
You ever been on one before? - Oh, yes.
那咱们一起吧
Let's do this thing.
这车真靓哈 -谢了
- Hey, nice bike. - Thanks.
我高中时也有一辆
I had the same one in high school.
她才16岁赶紧给我死开
She's 16, so get the hell out of here.
再快点
Faster.
你又不是我妈
You're not my mother.
我知道她不是还在小摩托上快活么
I know. She's doing the Vespa thing.
我是想帮你
Look, I want to help you.
因为你不过是我爸又一个性♥爱♥玩具呗
Because you're my dad's newest sex toy?
我天得了吧我们只是工作关系
Oh, my God, knock it off. We just work together.
他通常看不上你这么老的
Yeah, you're a little too old for him.
我从小妈妈就离开了我
Look, my mom left me when I was a baby,
所以我理解被遗弃的感受
so I know a few things about being abandoned.
哦我成你的心理医生了
So now I'm your therapist?
算了吧吃屎去吧
You know what? Eat shit. -
行你就笑呗
Yeah. Laugh it off.
再戴上一副同情的嘴脸
And have a little pity party while you're at it.
我是不会让你坐上那辆摩托
I'm not going to let you get on a motorcycle
然后被傻缺摩托车手家暴的
and get beat up by some asshole biker, okay?
你高中真的有那种摩托车吗
Did you really used to have that motorcycle?
没有是我混球摩托车手男友的
No, my asshole biker boyfriend did.
我觉得我妈都不想去意大利
I don't think my mom even wanted to go to Italy.
她只是想找个借口送我走
I think she just needed an excuse to ship me off.
她只是想找个借口送我走
我就觉得
I figured...
反正也好久没见到我爸了
I hadn't seen my dad in a while.
我只是想借那辆自行车一用骑到小屋
I was just borrowing that bike to get to the cabin.
我不是小偷
I'm not a thief.
真不是
Not really.
虽然我也偷过很多东西吧
I mean, I do steal a lot of shit.
他变了
Something's different.