外星居民（2021）

Resident Alien S02E16

Part 2 Sept. 30, 2022, 11:55 a.m.

他失败了他就是我
He failed. He is me.
所以如果我去试也会失败
So if I try, I will fail.
你不会失败的
You are not a failure.
你必须做点什么
You have to do something.
你不能让灰人
You can't just let the Grey aliens
接管地球
take over the Earth.
这比失败更糟糕这是来自未来的失败
It is worse than failure. It is future failure.
这是板上钉钉的
It is guaranteed.
好吧我永远忘不掉这个画面了
Well, I'll never get that image out of my head.
你不打算帮助将军拯救世界吗
Okay, you're not gonna help the general save the world?
那么你打算做什么
Then what? What are you going to do?
我会做人类失败时所做的事
I will do what human failures do.
我会不管我糟糕的生活
I will ignore my horrible life
一心带娃
by being a parent
把我心中的怨恨转移到我的孩子们身上
and passing my resentments on to my children.
孩子们
"Children"?
你能小声点吗我正在睡觉
Can you keep it down? I am sleeping.
我收养了外星追踪者的儿子罗伯特
I adopted the Alien Tracker's son, Robert.
别摔门
Oh, do not slam that door!
你别想睡一天
You are not sleeping this day away!
我会给你报名参加足球训练的
I'm signing you up for soccer practice.
我知道新的预算马上就批下来了
Hey, I know new budget's going in soon,
所以我来看看我的请求
so I came by to see if there were any updates
有没有什么进展
on my requests.
请求有的看看这新钢笔
Requests, yes. Let's see here, new pens.
不是这个
Well, that's not it.
在这里
Oh, here it is.
新增八名副手
Eight additional deputies,
四辆巡逻车
four more patrol cars,
为每个人包括克莱特斯配备执法记录仪
and body cams for everyone, including Cletus.
当然包括克莱特斯
Well, of course Cletus,
你也知道他脾气挺暴的
cause you know he got a temper on him,
所以如果他粗暴对待某人我们需要知道这件事
so it he roughs somebody up, we need to know about it.
看起来要不少钱 -已经压到最少了
Seems like a lot. - This is the bare minimum.
等我们建好了那个度假村
Hell, when we get that resort built,
我们需要一个新监狱专门关押妓♥女♥
we gonna need a new prison just for the prostitutes alone.
事实上把妓♥女♥监狱
As a matter of fact, go ahead and put
也加在我的清单上
"hooker jail" on that list for me.
不过老实说
Although, to be honest,
我不确定这么说合不合适
I'm not sure if that's the proper term anymore.
也许该叫做“性工作者监狱”
It's probably "sex worker jail."
就照这个写吧因为你知道妓♥女♥
You can put that down there 'cause you know hookers,
总喜欢使用现代术语
they love to use that modern terminology.
我想尽可能尊重
And I want to be as respectful as I can
所有辛勤工作的姑娘们
to all them hard-working hoes out there.
看关于度假村
Look, about the resort.
我不打算建了
I'm no longer gonna support it.
什么
What?
我想我只是太执着于
I think I was just so caught up
重新打造佩兴斯的品牌让其不再被定义成谋杀小镇
in trying to rebrand Patience away from being a murder town
以至我忘了我有多爱它
that I... forgot how much I love it.
我不想改变它
I don't want it to change.
听着我不指望你理解
Look, I don't expect you to understand
我知道如果我们不再建这个度假村
I understand, if we don't get this resort,
会发生骚动的明白吗
there's gonna be riots, okay?
所以现在我需要三十名警官九辆车
So now I need 30 officers. I need nine cars.
还需要一个坦克 -行吧
And I need a damn tank. - Okay.
好吧我能再多给你一个副手以及
Well, I can give you one more deputy and...
麦克斯留在我办公室的这辆风火轮小汽车
this Hot Wheels car Max left in my office.
有一个上发条的东西
You got one of them loop-de-loop things
你必须确保够快
for it to go on, but you gotta make sure
否则它攒不上劲
it goes fast enough or else
你有这个东西吗
it don't get past the loop-de-loop?
我可以从家里给你带一个
I can bring you one from home
那我拿走它了
I'll take it.
我发现我的哺乳胸罩
I discovered my breastfeeding bra
还没能喂养宝宝
did not work for feeding the baby.
我自己就把奶水喝干了
I kept draining the teats myself.
十个汉堡
Ten hamburgers.
希望怪物宝宝饿了
Hope the monster baby's hungry.
你好哈利
Hello, Harry.
我叫约瑟夫
My name is Joseph.
我不管你是灰人
I do not care. You are a Grey.
所以我会叫你白♥痴♥
I will call you "Dickhead."
我们可能是敌人
We may be enemies,
但我觉得我们可以专业一点
but I think we can be professional about this.
我知道你是但我是什么
I know you are, but what am I?
什么
What?
我们已经和你族人达成了协议
We've made a deal with your people.
他们把地球让给了我们
They have conceded the Earth to us.
地球归我们我们让你回家
We get the planet, we let you go home.
山上给你放了一个逃生舱
There's an escape pod up on the mountain for you.
它会带你去你的星球
It will take you to your planet.
我会把坐标发给你你可以上路了
I'll text you the coordinates. You can be on your way.
我不喜欢给别人我的电♥话♥号♥码
I do not like to give out my phone number.
我们已经有了
We already have it.
灰人有我的电♥话♥号♥码吗
Greys have my phone number?
你怎么得到的 -我不知道
How did you get it? - I don't know.
电♥话♥公♥司♥给的吧 -这不可能
Probably the phone company. - That is impossible.
他们不可能出♥卖♥♥♥我们的信息
They do not give away that information.
灰人挺厉害的
Grey aliens are pretty powerful.
不至于厉害到可以随便到电♥话♥公♥司♥
Not powerful enough to get somebody's phone number
拿到别人的电♥话♥号♥码除非他们说
from the phone number company unless they say,
来吧把他们的电♥话♥号♥码交出来
"Yeah, okay, give them my phone number."
我觉得我们就是这么干的 -我不喜欢这种方式
I think we are. - I do not like it.
随便吧我现在发短♥信♥给你
Well, I'm texting you anyway.
别你写下来就好
Do not do it. Just write it down.
我没笔
I don't have a pen.
好吧发短♥信♥
Fine. Text it.
你没把我的电♥话♥号♥码给别人吧
You do not share my number, do you?
我可不想接到骚扰电♥话♥
Cause I do not want all those spam calls.
我们不会
I don't think we do that.
好因为
Okay, good, 'cause--
好吧
good.
我还是不相信电♥话♥公♥司♥
I still do not think that the phone company
把我的号♥码给了你
gave you my phone number.
好吧我去了你的诊所
Okay, fine, I went to your clinic
假装我是你的病人
and pretended I was one of your patients.
你一个护士把你号♥码给我了
One of your nurses gave me your number.
艾伦 -是的差不多
Ellen? - Yeah, that sounds right.
那个吗她她
That one? Her? Her?
是的就是她
Yeah, that's her.
老天爷她最差劲了
God! She's the worst.
她可坏了她从我办公室偷过吃的
She is horrible. She steals food from my office!
你为什么不锁门
Why don't you just lock your door?
因为锁门很烦
Because then it's complicated.
我得带着钥匙
It's--I have to carry a key.
理解
I get that.
一朝被蛇咬
You fall on your keys one time,
十年怕井绳
and you start making different plans.
好吧发你了
Well, there you go.
祝你好运
Good luck.
白♥痴♥说啥
Dickhead says "what?"
什么 -鸡屁♥股♥
What? - Chicken butt.
混♥蛋♥
Jackass.
我可以回家了
I can go home.
这餐我可不付钱
I'm not paying for this food!
我的派里有个苍蝇
There's a fly in my pie!
这么对你什么感觉啊
How does it feel?
你知道你见过很多次外星人
So I know you've had many encounters.