外星居民（2021）

Resident Alien S02E09

Part 6 Aug. 12, 2022, 7:29 p.m.

我人在这儿了也很开心来赴约
I'm here now, and I'm happy to be here.
也许还有点紧张不过
A little nervous, maybe. But...
也许是因为有些人觉得自己不配拥有美好
I guess some of us feel like we don't deserve nice things,
而你是个非常美好的存在
and you're a very nice thing.
你也是
You're a nice thing too.
这颗破碎的心
♪ this broken heart ♪
我知道更好的岁月会抚慰这颗破碎的心
♪ I know there's better days for this broken heart ♪
更好的岁月来抚慰这颗破碎的心
♪ I know there's better days for this broken heart ♪
做三文鱼完全不可能翻车
yeah, how do you ruin salmon?
基本说来用个电烤枪喷一喷
I mean, you basically just shine a flashlight on it,
就可以吃了
and it's done.
这瓶精酿是15度的
This craft beer is 15% alcohol.
根据他的赘肉腹肌比
Based on his flab to ab ratio,
他在4分钟之后会喝断片
he will be unconscious in four minutes,
6分钟后会尿裤子
peeing himself in six.
别尿我沙发上
Not on my couch!
你说什么
What?
没什么
nothing.
嘿你有玩过啥酒局游戏吗
Hey, uh...You ever play any drinking games?
我想出来一个
I have a drinking game.
不如你去告诉警方
Why don't you call the police
应该由我来做尸检呢
and tell them that I should do the autopsy?
要是你真能做到就算你赢
If you do it, you win!
不可能
no way.
死尸处在杰赛普那就是杰赛普的谋杀案
Dead guy found in Jessup. Eh...Jessup murder.
我本来能当模特的你知道吗
I could've modeled, you know?
我有跟你讲过这事吗
Did I ever tell you that?
我逛商场的时候被星探发掘过
I was scouted at a mall one time.
这家伙走到我面前递来一张名片
Guy came up to me, handed me a business card.
我打了过去正经公♥司♥
I called it. It's legit.
我给凯特说了之后她回答“挺酷”
Told Kate about it once. She said, "cool."
一个家伙在商场发现了你给了你一个拥抱
you know, a guy comes up to you in a mall, gives you a hug,
还给你提供了一份模特的工作这不仅仅是“很酷”吧
offers you a modeling gig a little bit more than cool.
你知道什么很酷吗
You know what is cool?
谋杀案
muder.
你应该给佩兴斯也搞一个
You should fight to have this one in Patience.
佩兴斯的谋杀已经够多了
no, we already have enough of those.
除非凶手
Unless the killer, you know,
作案时是在佩兴斯
was somehow standing in Patience,
不过这是杰赛普要担心的事了
this is a Jessup problem.
他不知道的是
What he doesn't know is,
真正的凶手在开枪时
the real killer was definitely in Patience
绝对在佩兴斯
when she shot the man.
我去散个步别尿在我沙发上
I'm going for a walk. Do not pee on my couch!
他说我跟超人有一模一样的下颌骨
He said I had superman's jawline.
哎
ouch.
既然镇长不打算帮我争取尸检官
if the mayor is not going to help me get the autopsy back,
我就自己动手
I will do it myself.
这是阿斯塔所用步♥枪♥的弹壳
This is the shell casing from Asta's rifle.
善加利用我都能把谋杀和尸检的重点
If I use this correctly, I can move the focus
转移回佩兴斯
of the murder and the autopsy back to Patience.
这是受害者使用的那把枪的弹壳
this is the shell from the dead guy's gun
就是那发差点杀了我的子弹
from the bullet that almost killed me.
再低几寸就进心脏了
few inches lower and this would've hit your heart,
你就没命了
and you'd be dead. Mm.
现在这枚弹壳消失了
now the bullet shell is gone,
就好像我从未中过枪
and it is like I was never shot at all.
我再无困扰了一切都好
It does not bother me. Everything is fine.
佩兴斯
一切都刚刚好
Everything is just fine.
你们有何发现
So what do you got?
抱歉打扰你健身了
Ha, sorry if we interrupted your workout.
我每天早上跑六英里磨砺体魄
I run six miles every morning for a healthy body,
每天晚上玩填字游戏磨砺大脑
and I do the crossword every night for a healthy mind.
我会解魔方
I can solve a rubik's cube.
从书上学的但已经全记在心里了
I learned from a book, but I don't need the book anymore.
好厉害哦我小侄女也会玩
Cool! My little niece can do that.
好了托雷斯警长这位是哈利·范德史宾格医生
All right, detective Torres, this is harry Vanderspeigle.
他是我们的小镇医生本来是要做尸检的
He's our town doctor. He was gonna do the autopsy
但尸体被你们偷走了
before you decided to steal his body.
好了范医生她就在这
All right dr. V, she's here. So you wanna tell me
来说说你为什么要让我三位副手
why you got three of my deputies out there
在树下搜来搜去吗
scouring underneath those trees?
我有个理论很可行想跟大家分享
I have a working theory that I would like to share with you,
需要我的助手朱迪·普珀来帮忙
with the aid of my assistant, Judy pooper.
是库珀普珀是屁屁的意思
It's cooper. Pooper's my butt.
朱迪·库特 -库珀
Judy Cooter. Cooper!
库特就更限制级了
Cooter's my lady pocket.
咱们先去外面吧
Should we get outside?
从那侧的树林跟温泉浴池之间形成了
There was a perfect line from those trees over there
一条完美的射击线路
to the hot tub.
上去
Go.
凶手可能拿着猎枪藏在林中
With a hunting rifle, the murderer could have hidden
伺机开枪
over there to take the shot.
受害者被打中后掉入了水中
The shot knocks the man into the water
砰
bang! Oh!
哦啊呃哦不
oh, oh, oh, no. Oh, no.
什么鬼我去
What the hell? Wow.
为什么啊
Why?
你在干嘛
Excuse me.
演得好吗 -你不用故意
Was that good? You did not have to
落入水中的我跟她讲过的
fall in the water. I told her that.
这里面可是泡过死人的
This is dead human soup.
警长我找到了一枚来♥福♥枪♥弹片
sheriff, I found a shell of a hunting rifle.
瞧吧 -感觉这条理论很可行
Well, that looks like an excellent working theory.
长官那边已经是佩兴斯的地界了
Sir, those trees are on the Patience side of the line.
警长没争议了吧
Detective, I think we can all agree
这起谋杀案已经越过了县界
that this murder here crosses county lines.
范医生你的分♥析♥很在理
Dr. Vanderspeigle, you got a good handle on this.
尸检应该由你来做
You should take the autopsy,
要是你的理论最终得以证明
and if your theory proves correct,
我们就要成为搭档了
looks like we might be partners on this.
哈我很乐意
Ugh. I will be happy
主导尸检工作
to do the autopsy.
乐意这词不对吧毕竟有人死了
Probably not happy, because the man is dead.
不我会很开心的
No, I will be very happy.
朱迪 -这水好臭
Judy... This water stinks.
嘿阿斯塔收到你短♥信♥了
Hey, Asta. I got your text.
出什么事了 -嘿
What's going on? Hey, um,
我想跟你说点事
I wanted to talk to you about something.
说吧
Okay.
嘿姑娘们
Hey, girls!
嗨丹 -你好老爸
Hi, dan! Hi, dad.
如果你告诉警方
If you tell the police,
坏人就会知道是你杀了他们的朋友
then the bad people will know that you killed their friend,
他们会来找你寻仇
and then they will come and kill you
也会杀了你身边所有人
and everyone that is close to you.
我就是想告诉你
I just wanted to tell you how much
我很感激你跟麦克所做的一切
I appreciate you and mike and all the hard work you do.
谢谢你们 -好吧
Thanks. Yeah.
确定就这些
You sure that's it?
对就这些对
Yeah. Yeah, that's it.
就这么多好了谢谢
That's it. Okay, thanks.
好吧行嘞走了
Okay, yeah. Cool.
海狸在进食时可以很灵巧地
the beaver's dexterity allows it to hold food
用前爪抓住食物
in its front paws as it eats.
草食动物则喜欢
The herbivore feasts on a quiet...
怎么这么久才回来
took you long enough.
真是抱歉呢
Oh, I'm sorry.
你对我保障你安全的做法不满意啊
Were you not enjoying the fact that I am funding your safety?
抱歉我饿坏了