单亲

Single Parents S01E13

Part 1 Nov. 27, 2019, 11:46 a.m.

天哪我得告诉你们一件事
Oh, my God, you guys, I have to tell you something.
特别重要你们肯定很惊讶我
It's huge. It is going to blow your minds. I --
抱歉亚当斯老师我们正在说话
Sorry, Miss Adams, we're kind of in the middle of something --
是吗我正在教育你们的孩子呢
Oh, really? Because I'm in the middle of teaching your children.
算了你先吧
But, by all means, you go first.
-不你先 -好安吉
- No, you go. - Okay, Angie,
格雷厄姆要报名参加才艺表演
Graham signed up for the talent show
我读得对吗
as a -- am I reading this right --
"午餐神算子"
a "Hot lunch mentalist"?
是的学校食堂
Yeah, he can remember anything
随便哪天的午餐他都能记住
the school cafeteria served on any given date.
真的太厉害了我拼车时发现的
It's legitimately amazing. I discovered it in carpool.
G
Yo, G --
十月五号♥
October 5th?
十月五号♥
10/5?
炸薯球
Tater tots...
还有玉米片
and corn niblets
撒在托盘四周
rounded out the tray for the big square headliner --
玉米狗
corn dogs!
没错
Nailed it.
我喜欢狗
I love dogs.
这里没人关心马克
Find someone who cares, Mark.
如果你们觉得这就算神奇了
All right, well, if you thought that was amazing,
那注意了
hold on to your hats,
你们肯定不会信我
because you will not believe what I'm about --
马克怎么了
You guys, what's going on with Mark?
他妻子离开了他他很想加入我们
His wife left him, and now he's desperate to join our group.
有人帮帮忙吗我饺子做太多了
Anybody want to help me out? I made too many dumplings.
离异爸爸提示饺子周日晚上做
Divorced dad hack -- make all your dumplings on Sunday night.
周五你们会感谢我的
You'll thank me on Friday.
不我不会感谢你
No! I won't thank you!
没有人会感谢你
No one will thank you!
别怼马克了
Dude, give Mark a break.
他一年前偷了你的笔而已
So he stole your pen a year ago.
-他是个好人 -是的非常好
- He's a nice guy. - Yes, very nice.
-我的新闻 -不我同意道格拉斯的话
- Now, my news -- - No, I'm with Douglas.
-不能带马克这没那么简单 -有料啊
- No Mark. It's a whole thing. - That sounds juicy.
-没啥事 -更有料了
- It's barely anything. - Sounds even juicier.
-这事能过去了吗 -行了
- Okay, can we just drop it? - That's it!
我告诉你们我的新闻
I'm just gonna tell you my news.
米娅不是我的前妻
Mia's not my ex.
你没在我们离婚文件的第89页签字
You never initialed page 89 of our divorce papers.
-什么 -我的律师说的
- What? - ?This is from my lawyer.
严格来说我们还没离婚
We're technically still married.
有料啊
Oh, juicy!
马克有点眼色
Read the room, Mark.
单亲
第一季第十三集
说不定这是让我们别离婚的征兆呢
What if this is a sign that we weren't meant to get divorced?
说不定是宇宙给我们婚姻的第二次机会呢
What if the universe is giving our marriage a second chance?
跟前妻亲个嘴少签个字
Dude, a backslide kiss and messed-up paperwork
并不意味着你们得复合
doesn't mean you should get back together.
是的你们分手是有原因的威尔
Yeah, you split up for good reasons, Will.
需要提醒吗说吧
Need a reminder? Give us the list.
不同的育儿理念
A difference in parenting philosophies,
她即无私却又很自私
she's an infuriating mix of selfless and selfish,
说实话她吃酸奶的样子很奇怪
and if I'm being honest, she eats yogurt weird.
她会舀一大勺
She, like, puts a big glob on a spoon
然后像冰激凌一样把它舔掉
and licks it off like ice cream.
什么
What?
我还拍了照来提醒自己
Even took a picture just to remind myself.
-这吃酸奶的方法也太蠢了 -受不了
- Oh, that's a stupid way to eat yogurt. - No.
但最糟糕的是她总是以工作为先
But worst of all, she always puts her work first.
在我前面在苏菲前面在她的家人前面
Before me, before Sophie, before her family.
这点改变了吗
Yeah, and has that changed?
没有
No.
但米娅把我迷住了
But Mia's got a hold on me.
比如她说外语的时候
Like, when she speaks in a foreign language,
太性感了
it's so hot.
有人需要冷静一下吗
Cold shower, anyone?
不需要
?No.
重点是我需要帮助
The point is -- I need help.
我需要安吉
I need Angie.
什么为什么为什么是我
What? Why? Why me?
因为你很吓人
'Cause you're scary.
你就像一个穿着西服的小雇佣军
You're like a tiny, little mercenary in a blazer.
米娅再待一天就走了
Mia is only here for one more day.
你得确保让我在这些文件上签字
I need you to make sure I sign these papers
不管我说什么或做什么
no matter what I say or do.
好吧但我警告你
Okay, but I warn you.
你正进入一个冷漠无情的世界
You are entering a cold and unforgiving world called
被称作严厉的爱
tough love.
太好了
Okay. Okay, great.
非常感谢她最好了
Thank you so much. She is the best --
你干吗
Why?
严厉的爱
Tough love!
在那一页签名我把它寄出去
Now, initial that page, and I'll mail them out.
没那么简单
It's not that simple.
-我要公♥证♥ -我是公♥证♥人
- I have to get them notarized. - ?I'm a notary.
-什么你咋弄的 -不可思议
- What? When? How? - Stunned. I'm stunned.
我就知道安吉我一直都知道
I knew it, Angie. Somehow I always knew.
看看那个可怜的混♥蛋♥
Look at this poor bastard.
不要和他有目光接触
Don't make eye contact.
你不喜欢马克吗
You don't like Mark?
你看他举着停车标志的样子
Look how he holds that stop sign.
太帅了
So cute!
好尴尬
Oh, it's awkward.
-有料啊 -没啥事
- Oh, that sounds juicy. - No, it's barely anything.
够了赶紧说真是的
Okay, enough. Just spill the beans, damn it!
好吧我有一次遇到他
Fine. There was an encounter.
我猜你在想我为什么在车里吃饺子
Bet you're wondering why I'm eating dumplings in my car.
我猜到了
I...have a hunch.
因为我离婚了
It's because I'm divorced.
想和我约吗
Wanna go out?
我当然拒绝了
Obviously I said no.
马克人太好了我不喜欢好人
I mean, Mark's too nice. I don't like nice.
好人晚上八点半就上♥床♥了
With nice, you're in bed by 8:30.
我喜欢劲爆热辣有激♥情♥的
I want Pow! Boing! Crackle!
马克也有激♥情♥
Mark's got crackle!
她不会和他交往的我不允许
Okay, she's not dating him. I forbid it.
怎么了有问题吗我说什么了
What? What's the problem? What'd I say?
-你不允许 -我...不是
- You forbid me? - ?I -- No.
我只是作为你的朋友对你说
I'm just telling you, as a friend,
你不能和他交往
you cannot do it.
你根本不了解黑人女性对吧
Oh, you don't know anything about black women, do you?
我觉得这个问题很难回答
I don't feel like there's a good answer to that question.
我把文件交给公♥证♥人了
I dropped the paperwork off with my notary.
她会把它寄出去
She's going to put it in the mail,
然后我们就正式离婚了
and we will really be divorced.
你被甩了
Ya dumped.
威尔
You know, Will, um...
我在考虑我们俩的事
...I've been thinking about us.
这对废物夫妻
The couple so dysfunctional,
连离婚都办不好
they couldn't even get divorced right?
我在想
I've been thinking about,
你改变了很多
you know, how much you've changed.
你又快乐又自信
You're so happy and confident,
甚至声音都更有磁性了
and I even detect a little more bass in your voice.
你觉得离婚文件是不是暗示着什么
Do you think those papers were maybe a sign?
米娅
Look, Mia --
我也变了
I've changed, too.