单亲

Single Parents S01E02

Part 2 Nov. 27, 2019, 11:45 a.m.

Yo, Poppy, I need to borrow your blender.
给这个小孩做点香蕉泥
Gonna puree this boy some bananas.
正好提醒我了我还要几根香蕉
Oh, that reminds me -- I also need bananas.
抱歉但我这个月的房♥租
Oh, and I'm sorry, um, but I'm gonna be late again
又要晚点交了
with rent this month.
不过我会很快给你的我保证
But I'll getcha back soon. I promise.
波比他有付过房♥租吗
Poppy, has he ever paid rent?
他最终还是要付的
I mean, he'll pay eventually.
米基就这样他已经有进步了
It's Miggy, you know. He's a work in progress.
还记得我们是怎么找到他的吗
Remember how we found him?
拉拉裤预折尿布口袋尿布布尿裤
Pull-ups? Pre-fold? Pockets? Cloth?
你是什么东东啊
What are you?!
他那天最后买♥♥了拉拉裤
He ended up buying pull-ups for himself that day.
是啊他在照顾那个孩子
Yeah, and he's taking care of the baby
好让杰克的妈妈去上大学
so Jack's mom can go to college.
所以我想帮帮他
So, I want to help him.
而且他做得不错
And he's doing great.
列出了一个潜在职业清单
Made a list of potential careers.
听起来很有前途
Sounds promising.
你看过吗
Have you seen it?
一切都在他控制之中
He's got it all under control.
该死
Aah! Oh, damn.
我知道我知道
Oh, I know. I know.
我来处理我来这里
I got it, though. I got it. Here.
-换做是我我就要看看那个清单 -对
- I'd ask to see that list. - Yeah.
这就是我们今晚要做的事吗
Um, this is what we're doing tonight?
爸爸说关键是要把这些纸碎得足够小
Dad says the trick is making the pieces small enough
这样他就不会有麻烦
that he can't get in trouble.
那辆摩托艇是公费开销
Hey, that jet ski was a business expense.
我问心无愧
My conscience is clean.
大家注意
Your attention, please!
今晚我带了六套换洗衣服
This evening, I brought six costume changes
每六小时准点展示一次
to be unveiled every hour, on the hour.
希望大家欣赏得尽兴
I hope you all enjoy the journey.
任何写了"维加斯"的东西都拿去粉碎
Anything that says "Vegas" goes in there.
真好又一个小孩
Oh, good. Another child.
怎么样了伙计
How's it going, man?
挺好的
Oh, fine.
除了让一群小孩来粉碎文件
Besides a couple kids who are too good
有点大材小用了
for document shredding.
好吧快点
Okay, hurry up.
下一个要处理我的信♥用♥卡♥了
We're doing my credit cards next.
看上去一切在你掌控之中
Well, seems like you got it all under control.
暂时是的
For now.
但不出一小时
But...in an hour,
暴风雨就要来临了
storm's a-comin'.
-好吧祝你好运 -等等
- Anyway, good luck. - W-W-Wait a minute.
你说的"暴风雨"是什么意思
What do you mean "storm"?
彻夜狂欢暴风雨
You know, the sleepover storm.
孩子们疯狂吃糖
Kids stoned on sugar.
某个孩子在你的仙人掌上尿尿
One of them pees in your cacti.
在你最不希望的地方融化巧克力
Melted chocolate in places you least expect it.
给他们下药应该是犯法的
I suppose it's illegal to drug 'em.
你可以的伙计
You got this, man.
除非你想让我来帮忙
Unless... you want me to jump in...
当然可以吗你有时间吗
Yes! I mean, can you? Are you available?
你接受支票吗
Do you, uh, take checks?
我看看我准备去...
Let's see. I was gonna do...
对我有空
Yes, I'm clear!
好吧好我要去喝个烂醉好吗
Okay, good. I'm gonna go tie one on, all right?
一定等他们搞完破坏再叫我
Make sure they finish the shredding.
窗户大开着我爬了进来
The window is opening, and I'm climbing in.
爸别跳舞别跳舞别...
Dad, don't dance, don't dance, don't --
不
No.
好了大伙围成一圈宣布重要在外过夜事宜
All right, circle up, dudes. Important sleepover business.
错过了这个你整晚都会落后
Miss this, you'll be behind all night.
如果他带了吉他我就走
If he's got a guitar, I'm out of here.
傻了吧
Ha-ha! Joke's on you.
吉他在车上
Guitar's in the car,
但我一点也不想跟你们一起玩
but I don't want to hang out with you at all.
因为我要和我兄弟道格拉斯一起开心去了
'Cause I'm gonna be chillin' with my boy Douglas.
爸爸
Dad! Dad!
他只是想让你帮他看着我们
He just wants you to watch us for him.
他并没有想和你一起
He doesn't want to hang.
是但等我
Yeah, but he will
跟他登上友谊的小火车他就会想了好吗
once I get us on the friendship train, okay?
所以你们就坚守阵地
So, you guys just hold down the fort
我呢不知道随意就好
and, I don't know, be cool.
反正你们不需要一直有人盯着
Anyway, you don't need constant supervision.
抱歉那是什么
I'm sorry, what is that?
艾玛和我准备越狱到隔壁家去
Emma and I are Shawshanking our way to the neighbors'.
我要假装没看见这个
I'm gonna pretend I didn't see that.
玩得开心
Have fun.
你真帅
Looking good!
这里面是什么
Whoa! What's in that thing?
只是我妈的照片
Just a photo of my mom...
她的丝巾
her scarf
她的乳液运动衫还有这个
her lotion, her gym shirt, and this!
它能在天花板上投射星星
It projects stars onto the ceiling
帮我入睡
to help me sleep.
这些东西从来没让我入睡过
Not that I ever sleep at these things.
我总是会害怕叫我妈来
I always get scared and call my mom.
真像个废柴
Like a real loser.
看看我
Look at me.
我觉得你可以做到
I say you can do this.
波比酒吧
米基你的工作清单怎么样了
So, Miggy, how's that job list coming?
或许我们可以帮你看看
Maybe we could go over it.
好没问题我一直带在身上
Oh, yeah, sure. I always have it on me.
那...
So...
说真心话找一个付工钱
Real talk, it's been hard to find a job
还有宝宝日托的工作很难
where I can get paid and have childcare,
但我觉得我还是有前景的
but I think I got some prospects.
瞧我发现这些缩写字母的工作
See, I've found that abbreviated jobs
能挣好多钱
make a lot of money.
比如说首席执行官首席财务官尿路感染
So, maybe like CEO, CFO, UTI.
你说的都是头衔还有膀胱感染
Those are just titles and a bladder infection.
发明家炒苹果酱的男子
"Inventor, apple-sauce hype man."
-对 -帕蒂·詹金斯
- Yeah! - ‭"Patty Jenkins"?
帕蒂·詹金斯怎么变成工作了
How is Patty Jenkins a job?
不知道但是我真的很喜欢《神奇女侠》
I don't know, but I love "Wonder Woman".
-天堂岛 -那件盔甲就是一切
God, Themyscira. Oh, my God, that armor was everything.
-还有那对胸 -亚马逊族
- And those boots! - And Amazonians!
但是你说了我应该专心做我喜欢的
But you said to focus on what I love.
你就是这样的对吧
That's what you did, right?
现在你有这个地方
And now you've got this place.
对我的确说过
Yeah. I did say that.
但是我们还是多想想那些
But let's try focusing on options that are...
更能实现的目标
more achievable.
对你说得对重新来过
Great. You got it. Starting fresh.
求你别写百万富翁
Do not write down "Millionaire."
好
‭Okay.
你在这呢好消息
There's my guy! Good news --
孩子们都搞定了今晚咱俩可以作伴了
kids are out of our hair. We're set for the night.
真的吗你不说非常不好办吗
Really? You made it sound like such a gigantic ordeal.
世上无难事只怕有心人
Where there's a will, there's a way.
我叫威尔
My name's Will.
你这柑橘类可真多
Pretty solid citrus collection you got there.
瞧瞧这个
Look at this!
混合酒
Blended man.
我应该算单一麦芽威士忌
Kind of a single-malt guy myself.