单亲

Single Parents S01E05

Part 3 Nov. 27, 2019, 11:46 a.m.

你不明白
You don't get it.
如果我以当妈为借口
If I play the "Mom card,"
就会突然变成悲惨的单身女性
suddenly I'm this sad, single lady
需要经常迟到和请假
who's gonna need to come in late and take time off
然后开始问
and then start asking
我家小孩能不能进来卖♥♥点饼干
if my kid can come in and sell cookies.
不要有压力随便买♥♥点吧
"Don't feel pressured to buy some."
买♥♥的人心理压力可是大大的
Oh, but they will feel pressured to buy some.
我经常买♥♥ 买♥♥了很多
I always buy some. I buy a lot.
我也害怕丢了工作
And I'm scared to lose my job,
但是我担心如果我保住工作
but I'm scared if I don't lose my job
就不能陪伴在格雷厄姆身边了
then I'm not gonna be there for Graham.
安吉你做得很好
Angie, c'mon, you're doing great, okay?
比我做得好多了
Certainly much better than me.
我被谋杀了记得吗
I got murdered, remember?
我好像找到了格雷厄姆的服装
I think I just found Graham's costume.
那真可怕
And it is terrifying.
你手里拿的是浴帽
Yes, it's a shower cap.
有的时候我都来不及抹沐浴露
Sometimes I don't have time to shampoo.
伙计们我有麻烦了
Guys, I got a problem.
所有东西都卖♥♥完了
Yeah, um, everything was sold out,
所以我只能混搭了
so I had to mix and match.
上半身是《孤儿安妮》里
Okay, so it's Orphan Annie on top...
下半身穿的是狗狗
and dog body on the bottom?
不好看
No good?
我花了110大洋呢
I spent 110 bucks!
佐拉
Hey, Zara.
你和所有的朋友都说过了
Oh, you told all your friends?
他们等不及看我们可爱的宝宝了
And they're super excited to see our adorable baby.
非常好那个
That's great. Very great. That's, uh --
抱歉我得挂了
Sorry. Got to go.
威尔身上又着火了要给他灭火
Will's on fire again, so gotta put that out.
"又"
"Again"?
-让开点罗里 -我们在要糖呢
- Move it, Rory! - We're cleaning up!
好了知道了你很不开心
Okay, we get it. You're upset.
我没不开心
No,I am not upset.
我更
I'm -- I'm more like...
这样我更这样
That! I'm more that!
发这么大的火干什么只是个女人罢了
Why are you losing your mind over this? She's just a woman.
她不仅仅是个女人
She's not just a woman.
我超喜欢她的
She's my white whale!
不就是看到你的装扮吗多大事啊
So she saw you in a costume. Big deal.
女人没有那么在乎外表
Women aren't so hung up on appearances.
再说
And plus...
艾尔文看上去不是更吸引人吗
wasn't Alvin the one that got the most ass?
我来告诉你
Let me tell you something.
女人和男人一样肤浅
Women are exactly as shallow as men.
第一印象就像污渍一样
And a first impression like that I-I-is a stain
永远都洗不掉了
that'll never wash off.
一眼定终身啊
Once a weasel in a muumuu, always a weasel in a muumuu.
所以说一旦女人对某件事下好定论了
So, once women get their minds made up on one thing,
就永远都不会有改观
it's burned there for all time, never to change.
这就对了嘛
Okay, see, now you're talking sense.
早干嘛去了
Where was that an hour ago?
艾尔文
Alvinnnn!
给我闭嘴比尔
Cram it, Bill!
道格拉斯我们能走了吗
Douglas, can we go?
宝宝真可爱
Cute baby.
装扮真棒
Great costume.
能不能借我用用
Any chance maybe I could borrow it?
没门
No.
那你宝宝就穿不上这套了
Well, then your baby can't have this costume.
怎么样
What's up?
准备好等会要出去把别人
Okay, get ready because you will be scaring people
吓到尿裤子
to the verge of a pants-pee as...
一座漂在太平洋上
The great, floating,
得州大小的塑料垃圾岛
Texas-size garbage patch of the Pacific!
好吧
Okay, so...
在太平洋上漂浮着一座塑料垃圾岛
there's this plastic trash island floating in the Pacific.
有得州那么大
It's the size of Texas,
很多人可能没有注意到
and a lot of people might not be aware of it,
我把《赫芬顿邮报》上的文章打印了
so I have printed out this HuffPo article
你可以带着它给别人看
you can carry around and let people read.
你觉得怎么样
What do you think?
你真是下了不少功夫妈妈
It's a great effort, Mom.
很快就能习惯这味道了
You get used to the smell pretty quick.
但是
But...
我没必要去参加"不给糖果就捣蛋"
I-I don't really need to go trick-or-treating.
很抱歉我让你回班上拿
I'm sorry I asked you to go back to work.
我了解这很复杂
I know it's complicated.
你的工作最重要
Your job comes first.
不是这样的
No, it doesn't.
你去把蜘蛛装穿好
You strap that spider body on.
我去给你拿蜘蛛腿
I'm coming back with legs.
我是一座垃圾岛
I'm a trash island.
没有人
No one,
没有一个人知道我的装扮
not one person got my costume.
有人居然叫我本森
Someone called me Benson.
想知道我去哪了吗
Wondering where I've been?
没兴趣
No.
我只知道你走了感觉不错
I knew you were gone, and it was nice.
你很难让人不想打你
You're a hard man not to punch.
我出去找朋友了
I was out making a friend.
你以为女人很肤浅只看表象不看本质
You think women are too shallow to see past a costume?
你错了
Well, you're wrong.
为证明我的观点
And to help me prove it...
-你好啊 -你好
- Hi, there. - Uh, hello.
这位是道格拉斯·福格蒂医生
This is Dr. Douglas Fogerty.
比弗利山的肉毒杆菌之王
Botox king of Beverly Hills
世界上最帅气的山顶洞人
and world's most handsome caveman.
幸会幸会
It's a pleasure to meet you.
再次见到你
Again.
彼此彼此
Likewise.
-你可以走了 -好
- Scram. - Okay.
你真是光彩照人
You're radiant.
嗯
Yeah.
你在这啊芝士王子卡罗尔
There he is -- Carol the cheese man.
六种松软浓郁的
Per your request, six varieties
法式芝士任君挑选
of soft, tangy, French cheeses.
我喜欢饭后吃芝士
I prefer my cheese after a meal.
万圣节快乐卡罗尔
Happy Halloween, Carol.
刚碰上你的小伙伴了
Just ran into your buddy.
与往常一样看起来他是有意破坏气氛
Seemed intent, as always, on bringing down the mood.
他要回家了
He's going home.
那你就可以疯狂起来
So good news, you can go nuts
做那些你在万圣节爱做的事啦
and do all the crazy Halloween stuff you love.
等等
Wait a second.
他为什么要走
Why is he leaving?
他说他想走
He said he wanted to go because...
是因为我太幼稚
he thinks I'm a baby.
爸爸他为什么不喜欢我
Dad, why do you think he doesn't like me?
我真的不知道宝贝
I honestly don't know, my love.
也许他疯了
Probably 'cause he's crazy.
我希望自己有更好的答案但有时
I wish I had a better answer, but sometimes
你喜欢的人不一定喜欢你
the people you like don't like you back,
这让人伤心
and it hurts.
但那孩子绝对是傻子
But that kid is nuts,
因为你完美无瑕
'cause you're perfect.
而且他的名字太蠢我可不希望你跟他姓
Plus, he's got a dumb name. And I don't want that for you.
抱歉我们错过了万圣节
I'm sorry we missed Halloween.