单亲

Single Parents S01E19

Part 3 Nov. 27, 2019, 11:47 a.m.

班上到家里的路上都有咖啡店
and on the way from work to here.
这是地理学的奇迹
It's a miracle of geography,
也让我的生活充满了可能
and it's what makes my life possible.
看看这个
Okay, well, look at this, huh?
但这要花很久
No, but this takes so long!
咖啡店里有咖啡师崔西
And at my coffee place, I have a barista, Trish,
她总是做好拿铁等着我
and she always has my latte waiting for me.
我现在就是你的崔西了
I'm your Trish now.
你们本该在我车里的地上肆意滚动的
You guys should be free to roll around on the floor of my car.
我们在扼杀它们的灵魂
We're breaking their spirit!
硬币就该被存进银行
Pennies belong in a bank...
或者塞进长袜里用来自卫
or dumped in a tube sock and used for self-defense.
冰球护具冰球护具
Hockey pads, hockey pads,
冰球护具
h-h-hockey pads.
六副一样的墨镜
Six pairs of the same sunglasses?
早晚我会丢一半
I'm gonna lose half of them.
你总得多备着些墨镜
You always have more sunglasses than you need
因为有些墨镜肯定会丢
because some of them aren't gonna make it.
就像世纪之交出生的宝宝一样
Like with babies at the turn of the century.
表现不错
You did a great job.
好吧
?Okay.
谢谢
Thank you.
今天只有你一个人啊冠军
Just gonna be you today, champ? ?
冠军
Champ?!
你不知道这是谁吗
Don't you know who this is?
这可是KZOP的威尔·库珀
This is KZOP's Will Cooper!
我们要菜单里最贵的两样东西
Now, how about you get us the two most expensive things on the menu?
都给他我太紧张了吃不了
Both for him. I'm too nervous to eat.
-比斯奇思博士 -是我
- Dr. Biscuits? - ?Yes.
我都不知道你是我粉丝
I didn't know you were a fan.
我不是
I'm not.
我是你的忠实粉丝
I'm a superfan.
可你在学校并没提过啊
But at school, you've never mentioned-
我不太在意自己
Oh! I don't care about me.
我只在意三件事
I care about three things--
你天气还有你播的天气
you, the weather, and where they overlap.
说吧
Go.
行吧
All right.
你想从哪听起
Where would you like to start?
丹佛长老会医院
Denver Presbyterian Hospital,
1983年5月6日早晨8:45
May 6, 1983, 8:45 A.M.
巴德和露西尔夫妇迎来了
Bud and Lucile Cooper welcome into the world
六斤六两的宝贝儿子
a beautiful 7-pound, 5-ounce baby boy.
最高20度最低4.4度
The high was 68, the low, 40.
-还有较小概率下冰雹 -较小概率下冰雹
- With a mild chance of hail. - Mild chance of hail.
求你别停
Never stop talking to me.
进来吧
Come on in.
鞋就不用脱了
But please, keep your shoes on.
我一直想说这句话
I've just always wanted to say that.
帮我回想一下
Refresh my memory.
你说谁从我手上把贝雷帽拍走了
Who did you say outbid me for the beret?
匿名
Anonymous.
都是匿名的
They're...anonymous.
拍到有史以来回头率最高的贝雷帽
Why would someone who wanted to remain anonymous
为什么还要匿名呢
buy the most eye-catching hat civilization has ever produced?
-不会匿名的 -不合理
- They wouldn't. - ?Doesn't add up.
简单
Easy.
你们想他们不炫名字只炫帽子
See, they're shy with names but not with hats.
懂吗
You feel me?
又或者是巴不得被人逮个正着
Or they want to get caught.
与其百般狡辩不如解释下
Care to explain what you're doing here,
这是在干什么
other than dying of thirst?
米基你为什么要这样
Miggy, why would you do this?
因为你说我没品位
'Cause you said I have no taste.
我早该知道时尚先驱的诅咒
I should've known. Curse of the trendsetter--
所爱之物都会毁于庸人之手
everything you love will be ruined by normos.
把她找出来
Find her!
谨记我们的纲领
Remember our orders!
确保贝雷帽完好无损
The beret must not be harmed!
天啊
Oh, God!
不求你们了
No, please!
我投降
I tap.
我投降
I tap!
下次可就没这么手软了
Next time, I won't be so kind.
谢谢
Thank you?
小偷
Thief!
你大爷的那顶贝雷帽需要我
You suck! That beret needs me!
走起
Let's get to work.
我会拿回来的你配不上它
I'll get it back! You don't deserve that beret!
睡觉时小心点
Sleep with your eyes open!
我还是不明白我爸认识比斯奇思博士
I still don't understand. Dad knows Dr. Biscuits.
他易容了吗
Is he in a disguise?
没
Nope.
可能需要演出服道具什么的
Costume, maybe. Could be some props.
但比斯奇思就饰演他本人
But Biscuits is playing himself--
假装他是威尔·库珀的忠实粉丝
just himself as a Will Cooper superfan.
比斯奇思演技超赞
Biscuits is an amazing actor.
-他演过什么 -不知道
- What's he been in? ?- I don't know.
晚上好
Good evening.
是的我是威尔·库珀
Yes. Will Cooper.
我懂
I know.
波比
Hey, Poppy.
血腥玛丽配培根
Bloody Mary with bacon
吸管上串个小汉堡
and a tiny burger on the straw.
没有
We don't have those.
我以前居然是常客
Can't believe I used to come here.
那个用餐愉快吗
So...fun lunch?
愉快
Fun?
应该叫茅塞顿开
Um, it was revelatory.
不好
Oh, no.
我被认出来了
I've been spotted.
我这样是为了你
You're why I do it.
你说你♥爸♥有自尊钟摆真没开玩笑啊
Okay, you weren't kidding about your dad's self-esteem pendulum.
吃了顿午饭他就敢要吸管汉堡了
One lunch, and now he's ordering straw burgers?
我感觉不该找比斯奇思的
I'm starting to think this Biscuits thing was a mistake.
-可现在无法收手了 -为什么
- Well, there's no going back now. - ?Why not?
你不懂钟摆吗
Do you not understand pendulums?
要是我爸知道了真♥相♥
If my dad finds out the truth,
他会向另一头摆动得更远
he'll swing back even harder in the other direction.
他可能会归还防水大衣
He could turn in his trench coat
再也不播天气预报了
and leave the weather biz forever.
防水大衣这年头谁还穿防水大衣
Trench coat? Who's still wearing trench coats?
他辞不辞职都不能再穿了
He needs to get rid of that anyway.
-你们在说我的悄悄话吗 -没错没错
- You guys whispering about me? ? - Yes, yes.
好极了我们接着聊
Great. Let's keep the convo there and drill down.
其实我呢没什么粉丝
See, the thing about me is, I don't have a fan.
我有忠实粉丝
I have a superfan!
事实上还不少
In fact, I have a lot of them.
他们有个聊天群猜猜看他们都在聊什么
They have a group text. Guess what they text about.
我
Me!
大家都爱我
People love me!
但是出于某些原因我还没有办公室
But for some reason, I still don't have my own office
停车还得停到外面
and I have to park in the overflow lot
我广♥告♥里的位置还被一个卡♥通♥太阳取代了
and I was bumped from the promo for a cartoon sun.
知道吗
You know what?
我现在就给KZOP打电♥话♥
I'm gonna call KZOP right now, and I am going to demand
要求他们重拍广♥告♥
that they re-shoot the promo
给我的忠实粉丝想要的镜头
and give my superfans what they want --
我
me!
如果他们拒绝我就辞职
And if they say no, I'll quit.