单亲

Single Parents S01E19

Part 1 Nov. 27, 2019, 11:47 a.m.

无声竞拍就在今晚
收益捐给山顶小学
捐赠的最后机会
简
Okay, Jan.
这是什么
What am I looking at?
我称之为《简对战捕食者》
I call it "Jan vs. Predator."
谁赢了
And who comes out on top?
捕食者
Predator.
非常感谢简
Thanks so much, Jan.
感觉我被困在《古董巡展:哈里斯堡》了
Feels like I'm trapped in "Antiques Roadshow: Harrisburg."
谢天谢地看到朋友了
Oh, thank God! A friend!
终于有完美独特
Here to bail me out with the perfect, unique,
精心考量的捐赠了
well-thought-out donation.
-牛排刀 -对不起
- Steak knives? Wow. - ?I'm sorry.
工作太忙了我没时间整理
Work has just gotten so crazy, I didn't have time to curate
我的无声拍卖♥♥篮
one of my signature silent auction baskets.
我可不能捐赠没整理过的篮子
And I'm not going to donate a non-curated basket.
放他一马吧
Give the man a break.
每次盖伊·麦考米克生病他都得播报天气
He does the weather every time Guy McCormick is sick.
面对现实吧他一周病三次呢
And, let's face it, he's sick, like, three times a week.
生病拜托那人是好酒
"Sick"? Please. The man drinks.
麦考米克先生已经住院了
Mr. McCormick has checked into a facility.
我能说的只有这么多
That's all I'm allowed to say.
但这的确意味着我要连续28晚
But it does mean that I'm going to be doing the weather
播报天气了
for the next 28 nights.
威尔我很高兴你成为当地名人
Will, I'm very happy that you've become a local celebrity.
-得了吧 -但你现在帮不了我
- No! - ?But that doesn't help me right now.
现在我需要你给我一个拍卖♥♥品
Right now, what I need from you is an auction item.
你瞎了吗
Are you blind?
威尔就是啊
Will is the item!
名人是我们最珍贵的金属
Celebrity is the most precious metal we have.
这就是我们的泛合金
It's our Vibranium!
你是说我像黑豹
You mean I'm like Black Panther?
-不 -抱歉
- No. - Sorry.
你一直就在我眼皮底下
It was in front of my face the whole time.
威尔你就是拍卖♥♥品
Will, you are the item!
你可以参加拍卖♥♥吗
Can I put you in the auction?
你是说当一个月的管家吗好啊
You mean like be someone's butler for a month? Sure.
不是但你居然会同意这个
No, but it's weird that you'd be okay with that.
我是说午饭
I mean a lunch.
和晚上十点替补气象员吃顿饭
A meal with a local 10:00 P.M. fill-in weatherman
算是这次拍卖♥♥会的亮点了
could be just the pop this auction needs.
也许吧
Maybe.
我的事业正在起步
I mean, my star is on the rise.
我终于有翻领话筒了
Finally got my own lapel mic,
随便进主播室
unlimited access to the green screen,
我真的很喜欢我直播时的笑声
and I'm really honing in on my on-air laugh.
交还给你朱莉
Back to you, Julie.
-我同意 -太棒了
- I'm in! - ?Yes!
空光盘
Blank CDs?
你走吧别给我们
Keep walking. Don't even set those down.
像点样塞莱斯特
Do better, Celeste!
单亲
第一季第十九集
礼品卡余额未知
"Gift card -- balance unknown."
-D·阿玛托你捐这个 -是的
- D'Amato, you donated this? - ?Yeah.
我不知道里面有多少钱
I have no idea how much is on there.
可能是250 也可能是12
Could be $250, could be $12.
-这样拍卖♥♥才有意思啊 -嗯
- That's what makes it so exciting to bid on! - ?Yeah.
我太羡慕这里的人了
I'm jealous of everyone here.
-你捐了什么 -这个
- What'd you donate? - ?This.
我很想看看这100块能拍出多少钱
I can't wait to see what someone's willing to pay for $100.
如果价格低我就拍
Oh, well, if the bidding's low, I'm gonna jump in.
今天我听到了父母最害怕的消息
Today I got the news that every parent dreads most.
我报名冰球了
I have signed up to participate in the sport of ice hockey.
麦克的运动装备
这是世界上最贵的运动
It's the most expensive sport on the plant,
除非算上击剑反正我不算
unless you count fencing, which I don't.
嗯潜水是梦想不算装备
Yeah, diving's the dream. No gear of any kind.
花的钱只有普通运动服的五分之一
It's 1/5 of a normal sports uniform.
只要一件泳衣和一条毛巾
Just a Speedo and a towel.
我已经有毛巾了
And I already have towels.
如果孩子的体育运动让你陷入财务危机
Listen, if Pee-Wee Sports is driving you to financial ruin,
那就是你的问题了
then you're doing something wrong.
咱们看看你的预算
Let's take a look at your budget.
前提是你有
If you even have one.
我是一个
I'm a single mother living in
住在全国第二贵城市的单身母亲
the second most expensive city in the country.
我很持家
I budget.
非常持家
I budget hard.
我可以来这吗有什么规矩
Am I allowed to be here? I mean, what are the rules?
有那种候选人
Is it like a candidate not being allowed
不能站在投票站100英尺内的规矩吗
within 100 feet of a polling place or --
等等还没人拍我
Wait, nobody's bid on me yet?
拍卖♥♥才刚刚开始
The auction just started,
有钱人才会
and no one goes near the big-ticket items
来看昂贵物品的
until they're at least two Cabs deep.
而你是昂贵物品
And you're a big-ticket item.
-好 -嗯
- Cool. - ?Yeah.
听到了吗我们是昂贵物品
You hear that? We're the big-ticket item.
爸
All right, Dad.
自我鼓励结束跑一圈吧
Self-directed pep talk over. Take a lap.
嗯一圈好主意
Yeah, yeah, a lap. That's a good idea.
好吧
Okay.
我爸的自尊钟摆非常润滑
My dad's self-esteem pendulum is very lubricated.
摆动得幅度又大速度又快
It swings far and fast in both directions.
现在他上了电视情况就更糟了
And now that he's on TV, it's even worse.
苏菲广♥告♥要开始了
Sophie, the promo's starting!
开始了
It's starting!
KZOP十点嘉宾都有谁
Who is KZOP at 10:00?
新闻播报主持人朱莉·方-努涅斯
It's news with anchor Julie Fong-Nunez!
调查新闻播报主持人洛尼·麦格劳
Investigative journalism with Loni McGraw!
"现在有什么好吃的"主持人马丁·布洛克厨师
"What's Yummy Now?" with Chef Martin Bullrock@
体育主持人切特·科纳斯
Sports with Chet Corners!
以及天气预报
And weather!
十点KZOP 不见不散
KZOP at 10:00. We got you.
让我一个人静静
Leave me.
我爱那个太阳
Ooh, I love that sun.
从墨镜都可以看出他的下流
You can tell by his sunglasses that he's nasty.
那个太阳让我爸爸哭了
That sun made my dad cry.
波比必须有人来拍他
Poppy, someone has to bid on him.
这不是无声竞拍
This isn't just a silent auction.
这是一个人的命
This is a man's life.
你说得对
You're right.
废物
Crap.
垃圾
Garbage.
渣滓
Trash.
垃圾
Garbage.
给狗狗穿的瑜伽裤
Yoga pants for a dog?!
别给狗狗穿衣服了美国
Stop dressing your dogs, America.
狗就该光着
Dogs should be naked.
这是什么
What do we have here?
我的天可怜的家伙
Oh, my gosh, you poor thing.
没关系没关系
It's okay. It's okay.
你不必担惊受怕了
You don't have to be scared anymore.
我会让你再次飞翔
I will make you fly again.
你们知道这是什么吗
Do you girls have any idea what this is?
一顶帽子
A hat.
一顶帽子
A hat?
一顶帽子吗
A hat?!
起源于法国
这是个贝雷帽
This is a beret.
法国的复杂性就浓缩在这顶永恒的头饰中
French sophistication distilled into one timeless piece of headwear.
它是我的