单亲
Single Parents
第一季
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单亲
Single Parents S01E10
Part 1
Nov. 27, 2019, 11:46 a.m.
我们要配对的2200瓦工业千斤顶
We want matching 2200-watt industrial jackhammers.
还有呢 拿支笔记吧 老头
There's more. Get a pen out, old man.
在外面看到圣诞老人真奇怪
It's weird to see Santa outside.
感觉不对
It feels wrong,
就像机场里有只鸟一样
like when there's a bird in the airport.
我不介意
Oh, I don't mind this.
看着人们等圣诞老人时抽烟
Watching people smoke while they're waiting for Santa
让我想起了童年
takes me back to my childhood.
伙计们 对不起 我迟到了
Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late.
我得为圣诞老人打扮一下
Had to look my best for old Saint Nick.
现在什么情况
What are we working with?
他出了点汗
Well, he's a little sweaty,
毕竟他这么胖
but I dig that he's legit fat.
但那脸颊多红润啊
But how rosy are those cheeks?
酒窝多迷人
How merry are those dimples?
我真的受不了你这么迷恋圣诞老人
Okay, I cannot support your Santa fetish.
你们很体贴 邀请我来了
Look, it was very thoughtful of you all to keep me in the mix,
但我要走了
but I'm gonna go.
-不 不 -什么
- No! No! - What?
感觉在平安夜
Yeah, it just feels weird
不带孩子 排队等候圣诞老人很奇怪
standing in line for Santa on Christmas Eve without a kid.
我可以借你一个
Oh, you can borrow one of mine.
道格拉斯 罗里是不可替代的
Douglas, Rory is not replaceable.
没有他的第一个圣诞节会很难过
Now, this first Christmas without him is gonna be hard,
不过去年他在我这
but I had him last year,
今年该到罗恩了
so I have to deal with the fact that it's Ron's turn.
-罗里肯定在夏威夷玩得很开心 -是啊
- I'm sure Rory's having a blast in Hawaii. - Yeah.
想和我一起参加德韦恩的圣诞派对吗
Hey, want to be my plus-one to Dwayne's Christmas party?
就我 德韦恩 没了
It's gonna be me, Dwayne, and that's about it.
谢谢 米基 但我了解自己
Thanks, Miggy, but I know myself,
今晚我只会悲伤
and tonight is about sadness.
那种做用咸饼干做菜的悲伤
Like "Trying a recipe from a box of crackers" style sadness.
太悲伤了
That's sad.
-新年见 -好的
- I'll see y'all in the new year. - All righty.
-再见 波比 -再见
- Bye, Poppy. - Bye.
G 快到你了
Yo, G! It's almost your turn!
你激动吗
You psyched out of your mind?
我也想 但是学校发生了一件事
I wish, but something happened at school
真的让我很烦恼
that sent me into a real spiral.
圣诞节要到啦
I can't believe it's Christmas!
你向圣诞老人要了什么
What did you ask Santa for?
我不想扫你的兴
I don't mean to ruin anything for you,
但如果圣诞老人是真的
but if Santa was real,
他每秒要去800幢房♥子
he would have to visit 800 houses per second.
我不希望她是对的
I don't want her to be right,
但的确说不通啊
but things aren't adding up.
提个醒 苏菲
heads up, Sophie.
这个圣诞老人非常虔诚
This Santa's weirdly religious.
这个商场圣诞老人就是个形式
This Mall Santa's a formality.
这个圣诞节和别的没什么区别
This Christmas is gonna go down just like all the others --
我妈很牛叉 我爸很傻叉
my mom's gonna rock it, and Dad's gonna blow it.
是吗
Is that true?
是的 圣诞节全靠米娅
Yep. Christmas is all Mia.
她每年都给苏菲
Every year she sends Sophie
寄个魔法箱 全是好礼物
this Magic Box of awesome presents,
我通常只是
and I usually just end up
给她买♥♥一堆扭头就忘的垃圾
getting her a bunch of forgettable crap.
这和你的人设完全相反啊
That fights everything I know to be true about you.
-没错 -但这是事实
- Word. - But it's the truth.
我挺敷衍的
I-I phone it in.
反正圣诞礼物都被高估了
Christmas presents are overrated anyway.
所以我们家不怎么当回事
That's why I keep it super chill at my house.
我就给格雷厄姆买♥♥一堆乐高
I just get Graham a bunch of Legos,
他给我写了一个关于我们俩的故事
and he writes me a story about the two of us.
等等 你不和别人交换礼物吗
Wait, you don't exchange gifts with anybody else?
你的男朋友都没有吗
Not even your boyfriend?
欧文 不
Owen? No.
他不是我的男朋友
He's not my boyfriend.
我们正常稳步升温
You know, we're keeping it at a nice, slow pace.
到你了 格雷厄姆
You're up, Graham.
我现在无法面对圣诞老人
I can't face the big guy right now.
我有太多的问题了
I have too many questions.
我明白 G
Hey, I got you, G.
杰克 圣诞节到了
It's Santa time, Jack!
你能帮我拎一下这个小家伙吗
Hey, can you hold this little dude for me?
谢了 兄弟
Thanks, brotha.
圣诞老人 腿叉开点 我来啦
Yo, Santa, make some room on that lap for a big boy!
不 不 不 不
No, no, no, no.
不
No!
他这是为了孩子吧
Okay, h-he is doing this for the kids' benefit, right?
他不相信圣诞老人吧
He doesn't actually believe in Santa?
我都不想知道 他开车带我们的孩子到处逛
I don't even want to know. He drives our kids around.
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我这还在贴胶带呢
Not while I'm taping things.
欧文
Owen?
你太淘气了
You've made the naughty list.
-抱歉 你不喜欢吗 -不是
- I'm sorry. Is this horrible? - No.
其他人可能吧 但是
I mean, you know, for anybody else, maybe, but
安吉·D可是只圣诞猎犬
Oh, you know Ol' Angie D is a Santa Hound.
我有个礼物给你
Ooh, I got a package for you.
好吧
Okay.
我们要交换礼物
We're exchanging gifts.
是的 这很酷吧
Well, yeah, I mean, this is cool, right?
是的 是啊 很酷
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Very cool.
但是我刚给你订了一份礼物
But, um, you know, I-I rush-ordered you a gift,
可以去拿了 所以我要去
and that's ready for pick-up, so I'm gonna go
拿一下
get that.
你不用在平安夜出去啊
You don't have to go out on Christmas Eve.
不 不 不 我想去拿的
No, no, no, I wanted to,
但是 格雷厄姆在睡觉
but, uh, Graham's in there sleeping, so, um
现在你来了
Now you're here.
你可以在这待10分钟
And if you don't mind just hanging out for 10 minutes,
我马上回来
I'll be right back.
如果你有时间
Feel free to duct tape up the wreath.
就胶带把花环包起来吧
If you have time.
好的
Okay, cool.
波比
Poppy?
希望你在家 你点了好多蜡烛
Well, I hope you're home. You got a lot of candles going.
道格拉斯 你想干吗
What do you want, Douglas?
我理解你现在的状态
Look, I-I know exactly what you're going through.
我自己过第一个圣诞节时
My first Christmas alone,
只要听到佩里·科莫的两个音符
all I had to do was hear two notes from Perry Como,
就足以让我哭泣
and it was enough to make me cry.
我没干过 但感觉是这样
I never did, but the potential was there.
这节日的设定就没把单亲家长考虑进去
This holiday was not designed with single parents in mind,
所以我打算去小睡一会
and that's why I'm gonna take a nap
直到睡觉时间
until it's time to go to bed.
我能很快地说几句吗
Okay, listen, can I just throw something out real quick?
我和女孩们有个节日传统
The girls and I, we have a holiday tradition,
如果你能加入 我们将不胜荣幸
and we would be honored if you would join us.
道格拉斯 我没有参加
Douglas, I'm not in the right emotional head space
节日传统的心情
for a holiday tradition.
我保证 波比
I promise you, Poppy.
我完全明白你现在需要什么
I know exactly what you need right now.
在俱乐部度过圣诞前夜
A Fogerty Christmas Eve at the club
会把你的忧郁一扫而光
will chase away your blues.
欢迎来到北极碗
Welcome to the North Pole Bowl --
相亲相爱的家人欢聚一堂
a festive gathering of loving families
憋足了劲互相掐架
kicking the dirt out of each other.
你们把耶稣的诞辰过成了奥♥运♥会
So, you people turned Jesus' birthday into the Olympics?
单亲
Single Parents
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