单亲

Single Parents S01E14

Part 2 Nov. 27, 2019, 11:46 a.m.

跟我说说她们各自的性格
Tell me about them as individuals.
很难说你知道吗
Hard to say, you know?
她们总是一起行动
They always do everything together.
总是很同步
They're, uh, always on the same page.
从不打架
They never fight.
不是自夸
Not to brag,
但我成功地把她们融合成了一个孩子
but I've successfully fused them into one child --
一个一直待在
a child who spends all of her time
后院小屋的孩子
in the shed out back.
她们都在小屋里干什么
And...what goes on in this shed?
这是这是她们的私人领地
It -- It's their private space,
我早就保证自己不会去那里
and I've always made it a point not to go back there.
不关我的事
It's none of my business.
如果让我猜的话可能
If I had to guess, I would say, mm --
我不确定她们可能在捣鼓汽车木头家具
I don't know -- ‭auto-body projects, cabinetry,
或许是个机械牛
maybe a mechanical bull.
地上洒满了花生壳
Uh, peanut shells all over the floor.
你懂吗
You know?
这都是我的猜测
These are all just guesses
根据小屋里
that are based on the, uh, sounds
发出的动静猜的
I -- I hear coming from the shed.
毕竟是孩子嘛对吧
You know, kids, right?
虽然我很想去那里看看
While I'm tempted to dig into that,
我想告诉你我的发现
I do want to share my findings.
福格蒂医生干我这行
You see, Dr. Fogerty, in my business,
最有趣的就是测试双胞胎
nothing is as exciting as testing twins.
真的吗
Really?
我不骗你我现在非常兴奋
I'm not gonna lie, I'm flying right now.
你的女儿们虽然长得一模一样性格却大不同
Your girls, while identical, are very different.
我做了些测试
I ran some tests,
艾米的智力正常
and while Amy is right on grade level,
而艾玛却有着数学天赋
Emma presents ‭as mathematically gifted.
她捣蛋是因为她很无聊
She's acting out because she's bored.
好吧我女儿是个天才我们完事了吗
Okay. So my daughter's a genius. Have we solved it?
没有做天才儿童的父母是一份全职工作
No. Being a parent to a gifted child is a full-time job.
好极了
Terrific.
-是威尔 -我不在这
- It's him. - ‭I'm not here.
那就直接转到语♥音♥信箱吧
I'm just gonna let it go to voicemail.
现在我知道
So, I guess I know now
你为什么要陪他一起来了
why you don't do drop-off playdates.
嗯他还不会自己上厕所
Yeah. He doesn't really go to the bathroom by himself yet.
格雷厄姆我得问问你俩怎么认识的
Graham, I have to ask -- how did you two meet?
上周的事
Well, it happened last week.
你接我又迟到了
You were late picking me up again.
我们一见如故
We bonded immediately.
一起玩了好久因为你懂的
We had plenty of time, because, again,
你来的实在太晚了
you were so late picking me up.
行了明白了不如你们去玩吧
Okay, we got it. Why don't you go play?
那么
So...
你是哪里人
...where are you from?
停别说了
I'm gonna stop you right there.
虽然我们的孩子是朋友但我们没必要做朋友
We don't need to be friends just 'cause our kids are friends.
真的吗
We don't?
千真万确
Absolutely not.
我带了一堆工作
I brought a ton of work,
我带了自己的饮料零食
and I've got my own drinks, my own snacks,
一切准备就绪所以
everything ready to go, so...
实际上如果你有事最好给我发短♥信♥
In fact, if you need anything, I'd prefer you just text me.
所以你是说我们
So you're suggesting that we do
在同一个屋檐下各做各的
our own completely separate thing in the same space,
就像合租一间店铺的必胜客和塔可钟一样吗
like one of those combo Pizza Hut/Taco Bells?
我觉得我爱上你了
I think I love you.
-你就... -明白
- Just... - ‭Oh, yeah.
我会的
Oh, I will.
道格拉斯作为天才儿童的父亲
Douglas, as the father of a gifted child,
请允许我欢迎你来到这个圈子
please allow me ‭to welcome you to the club.
我根本不想进这个圈子
I don't want to be part of this club.
听着你没掺和之前我只有一个孩子
Look, before you got involved, I had one kid.
而现在多亏了你我有俩孩子了
And now, thanks to you, I have two.
而且朗达医生想让我下周末开车希尔马
Plus, Dr. Rhonda wants me to drive to Sylmar next weekend
参加一个什么分数节
for something called Fraction Fest.
听着苏菲艾玛是个数学天才
Hey, Soph, get this -- turns out Emma's a math genius.
他们也要去分数节
They're going to Frac Fest, too!
艾玛她蘸牛奶吃薯片
Emma? ‭She dips her chips in milk.
那艾米接受的怎样
How did, uh, Amy take it?
不关我的事
It's none of my business,
但我就认为她们坦然接受了
but I would like to think that they're handling it well.
我猜你也不是空气曲棍球高手吧
I guess you're not ‭an air hockey genius, either.
你刚说什么
What'd you just say to me?
姑娘们我在打电♥话♥呢
Girls, I'm on the phone.
艾玛说我蠢
Emma said I'm dumb.
你不蠢
You're not dumb,
但鱼和熊掌不可兼得
but God doesn't give with both hands.
知道我的意思吗
Know what I mean?
不知道
No.
但我不喜欢
But I don't like it.
你就关心那漂亮的脸蛋就行了
You just worry about being pretty,
明白吗辣妹子
'kay, hot stuff?
别拌嘴
Uh, hey, c-come on now.
你俩是一伙的记得吗
You're supposed to be a team, remember?
你们得一起解决这事
You got to figure this out on your own.
老家伙说得对
The old man's right.
只有一个办法了
There's only one way out of this.
好极了她们打架了她们从不打架的
Good. Now they're fighting. They never fight.
托尼劝架
Tony, get in there.
看你干的好事威尔
See, Will?
这就是打开引擎盖的后果
This is what happens when you pop the hood.
我敢肯定你想撸起袖子
Well, I'm sure you want to roll up your sleeves
大干一场那我就不打扰了
and get your hands greasy, so I'll leave you to it.
不你错了这事你跑不了
Oh, no. Wrong. You're part of this now.
明天我还有肤莱美颁奖
I have the Dermys tomorrow,
清空你的计划然后
so clear your schedule and then --
老天我得挂了
Oh, God. I got to go.
这下好了托尼倒地了
Y-Yeah. Yeah, Tony's on the ground.
-她们她们打倒托尼了 -吃我一拳老家伙
- They -- They got Tony. - How you like that, old man?!
把脸挡上托尼
Cover your face, Tony!
缩成一团像犰狳那样
J-Just roll into a ball, like an armadillo.
安吉
Angie.
别跑先告诉我亲子聚会的细节
Don't run off without giving me those playdate deeds.
有多糟糕
So, how bad was it?
你的脸有没有因为假笑而酸痛
Is your face sore from all the fake smiling?
姐们其实非常棒
Dude, it was actually kind of great.
诺拉原来是个直男妈妈
It turns out Nora's a dad-mom.
我们都没怎么说话
We barely even talked.
我效率超高
I got so much done.
我去看了牙医缴了停车罚单
I made a dentist appointment, I paid parking tickets,
我终于抽出时间研究"裙子是蓝黑还是白金"
I finally got around to that "What color is the dress" thing.
我们今天还要一起玩
We're hanging out again today.
那我们的周三之约呢
Well, what about our Wednesday hang?
天啊
Oh, my God.
我就知道我忘了什么事
I knew I was forgetting something.
很抱歉我们可以改天再约吗
I'm so sorry. Can we reschedule?
改期我们常规的周三之约
Reschedule ‭our standing Wednesday hang?
我得到了《单身汉佳丽如是说》的票
I got offer tickets to "The Bachelor: Women Tell All"
但都没去因为那天是周三
but I didn't go ‭because...it was a Wednesday.
这个诺拉肯定不是一般人
This Nora must be something else.
别为诺拉吃醋
Well, don't be jealous of Nora.
她只是新鲜的调剂
She's just a refreshing change of pace.
新鲜
Refreshing?
是啊拜托波比
Well, yeah. I mean, come on, Poppy.