单亲

Single Parents S01E06

Part 4 Nov. 27, 2019, 11:46 a.m.

大胆的猜测
about who I am as a person.
而你猜对了
And you were right on.
我不会带你去购物的
I won't take you shopping.
你会的
Yes, you will.
去商场了赶紧的
To the mall. Chop-chop.
不得不说
I got to say,
快递员感觉有点像跟踪
mailmanning feels a little bit like stalking.
那就对了能把她吓坏了
Exactly. It'll freak her ass out,
这样她就再也不会喜欢你了
and she won't be into you anymore.
感觉有点小激动呢
Feels kind of thrilling, you know?
-可不是 -你确定这样有用
- Word. - You're sure it's gonna work?
我这辈子从没对什么这么肯定过
Man, I've never been more sure of anything in my life.
你来这做什么
What are you doing here?
就是完全不打招呼地
Oh, you know, just, uh, dropping by unannounced
出现在你的私人住所
at your personal residence.
很讨厌吧我就是这样
Off-putting, right? Well, that's just me.
扫兴达人煞风景能手
Red Flag City, population -- one lunatic.
叮咚
Ding, dong.
快递来了
It's the mailman.
你是快递员
The mailman?
我喜欢
I like that.
我得知道你包里是什么
I gotta know what's in your bag.
多数是优♥惠♥券几张房♥地♥产♥广♥告♥
Coupons mostly, a couple of real-estate mailers.
这个包是美国邮政署的财产
This bag's property of the United States Postal Service,
擅自拆包违反了联邦法律
and tampering with it is a federal offense.
再说了我不是真的带了邮件袋
And also, I don't actually have a mail bag.
我也不是快递员
And also, I'm not a mailman.
我这么做的原因就是...
See, the whole reason that I did this thing --
我确认这是我本人购买♥♥的
Yep, I can verify that purchase.
是九双儿童意大利乐福鞋
It was, uh, nine pairs of children's Italian loafers.
对还有在长袍店消费了219块
Th-Th-That's right, and $219 at the robe store.
什么等下你偷偷溜去
What? Hold on. Did you sneak away
买♥♥了一个意式浓缩咖啡机
and buy an espresso machine?
送货到家
It's being delivered.
对也是我们买♥♥的
Yeah, that was us, too.
那是我的信♥用♥卡♥公♥司♥第二次打给我了
Well, that was the second call from my credit card company.
你满意了吗
Are you satisfied?
老实说我觉得我永远也不会满足
Honestly, I don't know if I'll ever be satisfied.
我想我们只能继续购物了
Guess the only way to find out is to keep shopping.
这么着吧想要我的手表吗拿去
Tell you what. You want my watch? Take my watch.
这是我医学院毕业时
My grandfather gave this to me
我爷爷给我的
when I graduated from medical school,
但我不能再让你去试短袍了
but I can't handle you trying on another tunic.
等下
Wait.
你真的要把你爷爷的手表给我吗
You're going to actually give me your grandfather's watch?
你为什么要这么做除非...
Why would you do that unless...
不不没有什么原因
No. No, there's -- there's no reason.
我只是想避免产生一些尴尬局面
I'm just trying to avoid an embarrassing situation.
知道我是怎么想的吗道格拉斯
You know what I think, Douglas?
我觉得你真的喜欢我妈
I think that you actually like my mom
而害怕被她知道
and you're scared she'll find out.
我说的没错吧
Tell me I'm wrong.
你犹豫了
You just hesitated.
不不我是在吞口水
N-No, I was swallowing.
女士们先生们这里有人犹豫了
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a hesitation!
-我就不能吞口水吗 -他犹豫了
- Can a man even swallow? - We have a hesitation!
-你没有退路了 -我是在吞口水
- No going back! - I was swallowing.
把手表拿去
J-J-- Take the watch.
我才不要这个俗气的东西
I don't want that tacky thing.
让她知道你关心她
Just show her you care.
我们最后再去试一圈短袍
And let's take one last lap for tunics.
我还没看到合适的
I don't think we've found the one yet.
快递员这招不管用
Mailmanning did not work.
我也发现了
Yeah, I noticed that.
天呐我之前怎么不知道随性性♥爱♥
Oh, man. How did I not know about casual sex before this?
太爽了
It's amazing!
我们都脱♥光♥光了
We, like, got all naked.
她连我的中间名都还不知道呢
She doesn't even know my middle name.
不
Oh, no.
安吉
Angie!
随时欢迎打来
Always a treat.
我是想问问你和德万医生怎么样了
I thought I'd just see how it went with Dr. Dewan.
听起来你呼吸平顺
Your breathing sounds normal,
所以我猜她没有掐断你的气管
so I guess she didn't crush your windpipe.
真好笑
That's funny.
其实我正在跟米基说一切进展顺利
You know, I was actually just telling Miggy how well it went.
我觉得你知道了德万医生
I think you'd be very surprised
是如何接受了这件事会非常吃惊的
with how Dr. Dewan handled the situation.
-我就很吃惊 -谢天谢地
- I was. - Thank God.
我知道她一般怎么处理坏消息
I know how she can take bad news.
以后再聊再见
Okay, talk soon. Bye!
私教课
Private lessons?
加里大♥师♥
Master Gary...
完蛋了
This is a disaster.
我答应安吉我会结束恋情而现在
I promised Angie I'd end it, and now...
能说实话吗只有威尔和米基知道
Can I be honest? Will to Miggy?
我并不想结束
I don't want to!
还好有你在告诉我怎么办
Thank God I have you. Tell me how to fix this.
我知道你能救我
I know I'm in good hands.
你只用...
So, uh... you just...uh...
通常来说这个时候...
So, typically at this point...
你...
you...uh...
快告诉我
Tell me.
都是我编的所有事
I made it up, man. All of it.
我不知道自己在说什么
I have no idea what I'm talking about.
什么你为什么要这么做
What? Why would you do that?
我也说不好
I don't know.
我只是喜欢有人觉得
I just liked that someone thought
我很擅长某件事
I was an expert on something.
谁知道只发了个"生菜"就管用了
I mean, who knew just texting "Lettuce" would work?
等下
Ho'd up.
你没有和大把女性♥交♥往过
Haven't you been with a bunch of ladies?
就俩严格来说有三个
Two, technically three?
但那是高中的事了
But it was in high school, man,
那时我只用走过去说
and all I had to do was just walk over and be like,
"想看看我把这个鱼缸扔到房♥顶上去吗"
"Yo, you wanna see me throw this fish tank off the roof?"
然后我就和我的死党搞在一起
Then I hooked up with my best friend
不小心把她的肚子搞大了
and she got knocked up by accident.
但我能实话跟你说吗只有米基和威尔知道
But can I be honest with you, Miggy to Will?
当然了只有米基和威尔知道
Of course. Miggy to Will.
或许我这样有点傻但我还是
Maybe it's dumb, but I'm still sort of
对杰克的妈妈抱有一点希望
holding out hope for Jack's mom,
所以我很难走近别的女生
which has made meeting other girls tough.
每次我下载约会应用
Every time I go to download a dating app,
就会花五个小时去看佐拉的Ins
I spend five hours just looking at Zara's Instagram.
你这么做很动人
That is just... so beautiful.
谢谢
Thanks.
但我还是气炸了
And also, I'm seething with rage.
不过我还是挺有创意的吧 "快递员"
It was creative, though -- "Mailmanning"?
比我第一个主意好
Better than my first idea.
烦扰女士
Lady-bugging.
就是直接把头搁在女士的肩上
That's where you just land on her shoulder.
你现在怎么办
What are you gonna do now, man?
波比
Poppy?
我看不见你在吗
I can't see. Are you here?
你确定要看见我这个样子吗
Are you sure you want to see me like this?
赌一把吧
I'll take my chances.
打扰了戴安娜·罗斯女士
Pardon me, Ms. Diana Ross.
我在找我的朋友波比
I'm looking for my friend Poppy.
你怎么改变心意了
What made you change your mind?