单亲

Single Parents S01E14

Part 4 Nov. 27, 2019, 11:46 a.m.

I just came over to quietly pay some bills at your table.
好了你怎么了
Okay, w-what is this?
你不是还在生我的气吧
You're not still mad at me, are you?
没有
No. No.
我只是过个梦幻周三
I'm just having a dream Wednesday,
日子过得美美的
living my best life.
好吧你说的话就像网文的标题一样
Okay, you're speaking like an Instagram caption,
以我的经验你肯定是在生气
which is usually a pretty clear sign that you're mad.
能聊聊吗
Can we talk about this?
抱歉不是很喜欢聊天
Sorry. Not really into talking.
怎么人人都买♥♥得起降噪耳机
How can everyone afford noise-canceling headphones?
"晚上好女士们先生们
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,
谢谢你们把这个奖给了我
and thank you for this award.
我为之付出了很多辛勤的劳动
It took a lot of hard work.
现在我想借此机会
And now I would like to take this moment
像那些没有帮助过我的人表示感谢
to recognize the people who did not help me,
按首字母排序依次为
alphabetically.
艾米·亚当斯保罗·安加
Amy Adams, Paul Anka" --
有个小孩在中间过道骑滑板车
There's a child ‭scootering up the middle aisle!
她把放礼品袋的桌子撞翻了
She plowed right through the gift-bag table!
润肤霜撒了一地
There's moisturizer everywhere!
不妙听起来是我的小孩
Oh, no. That sounds like one of my mine.
天呐路上可真堵
Man. Pico was jammed.
艾玛我要上台了
Emma, I'm about to go on the stage.
-你是怎么到这里来的 -我的滑板车
- How did you even get here? - ‭My hog.
可我告诉过你只能在五英里直径范围内玩
But I told you to only scooter within a five-mile radius,
而你却骑到比弗利山庄去了
and you drove to Beverly Hills?
那又怎么样
Who cares?
艾米讨厌我
Amy hates me.
好了跟我说说看
A-All right, look. Talk to me.
托尼现在是个
Tony, this is a good chance
用滚子打我肩膀我好时机
for you to hit my shoulders with the roller.
艾米说她想跟我分手
Amy said she wants a divorce.
她只是有点小题大做
Look, she's just being dramatic.
好了这么着我们回家
All right, this is what I'm gonna do. We're gonna go home.
等我发完言把这件事彻底解决了
We're gonna work all of this out after my speech.
还要等我喝完鸡尾酒
And the cocktail hour.
等派对结束后
And the after party.
我答应了托尼要帮他泡妞
I promised Tony I'd be his wingman.
爸她从没这么生过我的气
Dad, she's never been this mad at me before.
我很怕
I'm scared.
我觉得她不是生你气
You know, I don't think she's mad at you.
我觉得她可能只是嫉妒你
I think that she's probably just...jealous.
你说得对都怪我
You're right. This is all my fault.
真希望我不聪明
I wish I wasn't smart.
过来
Come here.
听我说
I want you to hear me.
这不怪你
This is not your fault.
好吗
Okay?
托尼我需要你顶替我一下
Tony, I need you to step in for me here.
一个字也别落下
I want these word-for-word,
不要怕得罪人改词
and keep your politics out of it.
走吧艾玛
Come on, Emma.
艾玛要用有家族抬头的信笺
Emma is writing you a formal apology
给你写一封正式的道歉函
on the family letterhead
为她没有告诉你就拿走了你的滑板车
for taking her scooter to Beverly Hills
骑去了比弗利山庄道歉
without telling you.
不管有多不对她这一举确实惊人
However inappropriate, she did make amazing time.
一百场朗达医生的研讨会也无法让我
100 Dr. Rhonda seminars would not have prepared me
对今天的见闻有心理准备
for the things I've seen today.
我来之前自认为自己是育儿专家
I came in here thinking I was a parenting expert,
你的孩子令我羞愧万分
and your children have humbled me.
我让你失望了兄弟我辜负了你很抱歉
I let you down, bud. I failed you. I'm sorry.
别再打击自己了
Ah, stop beating yourself up.
我给了你一项不可能完成的任务
I gave you an impossible task.
我想让她们变成一个孩子
I wanted them to be one kid
让我感觉没有那么手足无措
so I wouldn't feel like I was outnumbered.
但她们一直都是两个不同的孩子
But they've always been two kids.
我是两个孩子的父亲
I'm the parent of two kids.
你知道艾米在哪吧
You do know where Amy is, right?
她搬进了小屋
She moved herself out to the shed.
让我们转发她的邮件
Asked us to forward her mail.
那...
Well...
我逃避这个小屋已经很久了
I've been running from this for a very long time.
但我知道这天终究会来临的
But I always knew this day would come.
你可以的大家伙
You got this, big guy.
会很顺利的
It's gonna go great.
好吧你家无线网密♥码♥是多少安吉拉
Oh, great. What is ‭your Wi-Fi password, Angela?
波比别闹了好吗
Poppy, come on, all right?
你得帮帮我
You need to help me.
这个女人我不知道她还走不走了
T-This woman, I-I don't think she's ever gonna leave.
她立了一块软木板我刚偷听到她
She put up a corkboard, and I just overheard her
点了一大堆印度菜
ordering way too much Indian food.
听起来情况真的不妙
Sounds really bad,
但我不是来搅和你的事
but I'm not here ‭to get personally involved.
我只是想给你你理想中的
I'm just trying to give you that chill dad-mom energy
不腻歪的的爸妈能量
that you want from a friend.
我可不想给你太多压力
I don't want to be a lot.
波比很抱歉我说话伤到了你
Look, Poppy, I'm sorry that I offended you.
但我知道你的热心
But you know that you being a lot
是你最大的优点之一
is one of the best things about you.
我们在公园相遇你给了我湿纸巾的那天
The day that we met in the park and you gave me the wipes,
改变了我的人生
it changed my life.
我喜欢那些深刻的对话
I love that we go deep,
我喜欢你非常了解我的感觉
and I love ‭that you know me so well.
而我也很了解你
And I know you so well.
我很了解你
I know you so well,
我知道你戴着耳机没有在听歌♥
I know you're not listening to music in those headphones.
好吧
Okay. Fine.
我没听
I'm not.
-我连耳机线都没插 -我就知道
- They're not even plugged in to anything. - ‭I know!
我确实反应过度了我偶尔也会嫉妒
I know I'm overreacting. I get jealous sometimes.
其实我很乐意做你唯一的妈妈闺蜜
Truth is, I love being your only mom friend.
而且你什么都不用担心
And you have nothing to worry about.
-我和别人真的合不来 -我知道
- You know, I really don't like...people. - I know.
可以帮我把这个女人弄出去吗
Now, will you please help me get this woman out of here?
她把普通鹰嘴豆泥都吃完了
‭She's gone through all the generic hummus,
马上就要开始进攻
and now she's about to hit
冰箱里藏的好东西了
the good stuff in the back of the fridge.
交给我吧
Got you covered.
老娘出手
I'm going in,
全都有
and I'm gonna go... ‭deep.
我要和你的上司说话
Yeah, I just need to speak to whoever's above you.
就算是航♥空♥公♥司♥总裁都行
I don't care if it's the president of the airline,
懂了吗
so, okay?
我们能谈谈现在的情况吗
Okay, can we talk about what's going on here?
情况就是他们已经让我等了一小时
What's going on is that I've been on hold for an hour,
所以我不能挂电♥话♥
so I can't hang up the phone.
我明白你现在的情况了
I see everything you're going through right now.
你要兑换里程
You need to redeem these miles
因为家里的四岁熊孩子逼得你
because the walls are closing in on you at home
愿意逃到任何地方
with the 4-year-old and you'll go anywhere.
你甚至愿意在陌生人的家里工作
In fact, you'll even set up shop at a stranger's house
因为不论你去哪儿
because it doesn't matter where you go,
只要能解脱就好
as long as you get that escape.
里奇说他会分担养孩子的责任
Ricky said he would help with childcare,
但他人呢
but where is he, you know?
他每天晚上都出去看即兴表演
He's just out seeing improv shows every single night of the week.
得了吧里奇
Come on now, Ricky!
你让这个女人被囚禁在自己的家里
You just gonna make this woman a prisoner in her own home
就为了看即兴表演